What's the rule for budgeting for an engagement ring these days?

Tim76

I've heard 1 months wages, is this before or after tax? I get taxed a lot

I also read somewhere that the rule is 3 months wages which seems nuts.

And finally, I seem to be coming across the 3 grand figure a lot.

Any advice appreciated!

eviltwin

What you can afford is a good starting point. 3 months wages is ridiculous for most people.

clio_16v

If she cares about how many months wages it cost, don't marry her

aquinn

clio_16v wrote: »

If she cares about how many months wages it cost, don't marry her

Men marry men now too these days. Why presume Female and she is one getting judged?

OP would you sit and discuss with your partner before purchasing a ring and both decide what you want to spend? Everyone gets engaged at different points in their lives. Your partner may not want an expensive ring and might prefer that the money goes into the house or whatever instead.

The engagement can still be done as a surprise and get a token ring, be it a bag of jellies or costume jewelery. Then you can both start looking for a ring. You can always head to Antwerp or Dubai and make a weekend of it as I'm told that their quality and price is excellent.

woodchuck

There is no rule. Spend what you can afford.

iamwhoiam

A rule ? Since when are there rules ?

aaakev

I got engaged when i was broke, i saved for months and got her an €800 ring that she loves. By the time the wedding came round i was earning tins more so i spent more on her wedding ring then last year a few k on an eternity ring. You could track my career progression on her left hand!

Buy what you can afford at the time, dont put yourself under pressure and dont let anyone else tell you what you should be spending

love_love

aquinn wrote: »

OP would you sit and discuss with your partner before purchasing a ring and both decide what you want to spend? Everyone gets engaged at different points in their lives. Your partner may not want an expensive ring and might prefer that the money goes into the house or whatever instead.

Seconding this. My OH had to convince me to let him spend more than a couple of hundred on a ring - I really wasn't comfortable with the idea of spending loads of money and I also didn't want anything flashy because it's completely not my style. Don't be lead by what "rules" are out there, make sure you're doing something that your partner will be happy with.

mittimitti

plenty of unwanted engagement rings for sale from failed engagements and marriages

The price is not important making the commitment work is your main goal

GingerLily

mittimitti wrote: »

plenty of unwanted engagement rings for sale from failed engagements and marriages

The price is not important making the commitment work is your main goal

Don't buy one of these without our partner knowing, a lot of people would view this as bad luck, you don't want to start your engagement off on the wrong foot!

touts

Let her choose it. No man I know has ever gotten it right and that includes me.

S.M.B.

I bought one for my fiancé recently enough. Had decided that 1 months wages after tax seemed like a reasonable amount to spend. After looking at all my options I ended up only spending half that by going with an alternative to a diamond.

Scarinae

iamwhoiam wrote: »

A rule ? Since when are there rules ?

It comes from (very successful) past advertising campaigns from the diamond company De Beers. The original campaign in the 1930s said a month's salary, and then in the 1980s this was bumped up to two months' salary. Even the tradition of diamond engagement rings dates back to their 1930s campaign, they weren't common at all before then.

I'd say spend what you can afford OP, there is no point in getting into debt over an engagement ring.

iamwhoiam

Scarinae wrote: »

It comes from (very successful) past advertising campaigns from the diamond company De Beers. The original campaign in the 1930s said a month's salary, and then in the 1980s this was bumped up to two months' salary. Even the tradition of diamond engagement rings dates back to their 1930s campaign, they weren't common at all before then.

I'd say spend what you can afford OP, there is no point in getting into debt over an engagement ring.

Wow ! Thank you for the link . Shows how people can be influenced so easily

lazygal

We chose it together. We didn't agree on a budget, but I knew I didn't want to spend over a certain amount, it wouldn't have felt like a good use of our money to me. Didn't want a diamond, which reduced the choice a lot. I don't think we even spent one month's salary on it in the end. Now I'm a bit older and wiser I'd wait to get a ring at a jewellery auction, much better value to be had there! I wouldn't listen to any rules about how much you 'should' spend, its all nonsense.

Mollyb60

My husband proposed in the kitchen beside a carton of spoiled milk. Not romantic in any way. There was no ring, not even a token ring as he hadn't been planning it at all. Just felt right to him at the time. He told me to pick out my own ring so I got a silver ring custom made by a jeweller in London. Cost £35. Not having diamonds in it vastly reduced the price.

Rules are nonsense. If it's right, it's right and the price of the ring shouldn't even come into it. Spend what you can afford and what your fiancé wants.

Gavin "shels"

Spent around a months wages (after taxes & bills) on my fiancée's one 3 weeks ago. I was looking at ones nearly half the price though. Go with what he/she loves and within your own budget!

Pauliedragon

touts wrote: »

Let her choose it. No man I know has ever gotten it right and that includes me.

Also assuming she knows what you earn it would be a good way to judge how greedy she might be. If she picks a ring that's 6 months wages alarm bells should go off, next thing it'll be a 100k wedding in the Bahamas or something.:eek:

dragonfly!

Hi Op
Best of luck with the proposal
My OH proposed with a Claddagh ring which I now wear on my right hand
We then went ring shopping together after discussing potential budgets
We ended up getting mine made in a fab local company - it was cheaper than a "high street" company who buy them out of a catalogue and mark them up. It makes mine unique too which I love - without the expected price tag

GingerLily

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Also assuming she knows what you earn it would be a good way to judge how greedy she might be. If she picks a ring that's 6 months wages alarm bells should go off, next thing it'll be a 100k wedding in the Bahamas or something.:eek:

If you don't already know what she's like, why are you proposing?

PlaneSpeeking

My dad asked his father in law to be could he use my late grandmother's ring to propose - she died giving birth to the mammy.

She loved it and thought it was beautiful.

An aunt said "too cheap to buy one?".

Some people never see beauty!!!!

witchgirl26

My OH proposed with a token ring (which I love) and we picked the ring together. He kept saying there was no budget set in stone and to pick what I liked. Honestly that made me more aware of not going off the wall in regards price. I think the months/2 months salary thing is a pile of b. As long as you're happy with how much it's costing for what you're getting. I didn't want a mad expensive ring as I don't want to be worrying about it.

bee06

touts wrote: »

Let her choose it. No man I know has ever gotten it right and that includes me.

My husband bought the perfect ring for me. Did better than I would have done! He had asked me before whether I wanted to pick my own ring or not and I said I didn’t mind so we were on the same page.

OP, I would have been absolutely sick if I thought my husband thought he had to spend a specific amount of money on a ring due to an arbitrary rule.

anewme

No right and wrong answers. Important thing is to not get into debt.

I know couples who have spent 3-30k all at different stages of their life.

The 30k one was not an original engagement as such but a 10 year wedding anniversary and celebration of vows.

GingerLily

Don't buy an expensive ring without talking to her, some people would actually get annoyed if you spent ridiculous sums on a ring when the money could go to saving for your future together (wedding, honeymoon, family, house etc.)

anewme

GingerLily wrote: »

Don't buy an expensive ring without talking to her, some people would actually get annoyed if you spent ridiculous sums on a ring when the money could go to saving for your future together (wedding, honeymoon, family, house etc.)

Seconded.

That goes without saying.

Obviously if you are marrying someone, you should know them well enough to know what they like as well as what you can both afford.

GingerLily

anewme wrote: »

Seconded.

That goes without saying.

Obviously if you are marrying someone, you should know them well enough to know what they like as well as what you can both afford.

I agree but it's easy to to get swept up in peer pressure and forget what's really important in a silly moment

_Roz_

Whatever ye agree on. Some people like to spend a bit of money, and that's fine, others would balk at the idea of carrying expense around on their finger. Also, let her choose if she's the type to want to choose, and don't if she's not too fussed and just likes the symbolism. Basically, do whatever suits ye as a couple and her as a person!