Friend cut me off - what do I do?

Talkinghands87

So back in March my long term partner left me. I was devestated, heartbroken thought I'd never ever get over it. In May I went on holidays with a group of friends. One night I just got overwhelmed over the break up and broke down in tears had a good cry and my friends were mostly great. One friend said I needed to cut off all ties and stop caring about him (easier said than done) at the time we were only broken up about 3 weeks officially and still had bills and an apartment together so cutting contact wasn't possible. I told her she didn't understand that she had never been with anyone for 12 years and I needed to handle it my own way. She went bloody mad at me for saying she had never been in a long term relationship. Clearly it hit a nerve which wasn't the intention it was just a fact of the matter that she didn't know what I was going through.

We talked it out the next day and I thought things would be okay. On the flight home she asked to have her seat moved so she didn't have to sit with me. I asked her why and she said "I need to get out of the airport quick" I said "sure we have baggage to wait for" she ended up getting her luggage and leaving the airport without saying goodbye.

Roll on a month to mid June it was her 30th birthday and also the day I moved out of the apartment I had with my ex. It was an emotional day. I moved out and waited around Dublin (I'm from an hour outside Dublin) for 6 hours walking around, sitting in the car and passing time to go to her bloody 30th birthday. Nearly two months on now I've heard from her twice and both times when I have messaged first. I've asked her to meet up twice and she's had an excuse both times.

I feel like she is just so cold blooded and difficult but it pisses me off how she sees nothing wrong with any of it. I do miss her though and now that I'm single and building my life back up it would be great to have her in my life again. However, she has made me feel pathetic. What do I do?

smilerf

She sounds like a me feiner. You are better off

uck51js9zml2yt

Unfortunately that's how life is.

I had a good friend. The last time I heard from him was when we parted at the airport having been away together for a week.

The next contact was to invite me to his wedding 6 years later. I refused as I had made other arrangements to go abroad at the same time.
After refusing to cancel, that was the last time to hear from him. I never got an explanation for what happened or the £200 I was owed!

10 years on I've gotten on with my life have a family and had opportunities open up to me which never would have if I'd have succumbed to his selfish demands.

Talkinghands87

Everett Enough Granola wrote: »

Unfortunately that's how life is.

I had a good friend. The last time I heard from him was when we parted at the airport having been away together for a week.

The next contact was to invite me to his wedding 6 years later. I refused as I had made other arrangements to go abroad at the same time.
After refusing to cancel, that was the last time to hear from him. I never got an explanation for what happened or the £200 I was owed!

10 years on I've gotten on with my life have a family and had opportunities open up to me which never would have if I'd have succumbed to his selfish demands.

I get that these things happen. But we are both single living in Dublin wanting to go out and socialise and she is too stubborn that she would rather do nothing than get over the ****e that went down three months ago

Addle

It doesn't read like you have much respect for her.
If you're just missing someone to socialise with now that you're single, find someone else.

Talkinghands87

Addle wrote: »

It doesn't read like you have much respect for her.
If you're just missing someone to socialise with now that you're single, find someone else.

It's not that at all. We were always "social" friends never spoke about deep stuff. I miss that because that's what we had. Don't see how that's disrespectful.

GingerLily

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

It's not that at all. We were always "social" friends never spoke about deep stuff. I miss that because that's what we had. Don't see how that's disrespectful.

If someone doesn't want to be your piss up buddy that's their perogative, you just have to accept it

Talkinghands87

GingerLily wrote: »

If someone doesn't want to be your piss up buddy that's her perogative, you just have to accept it

That's not what it is at all.

GingerLily

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

That's not what it is at all.

Have you apologised for insulting her?

Talkinghands87

GingerLily wrote: »

Have you apologised for insulting her?

All of that was talked out the day after the arguement she said she understood it wasn't meant in a bad way.

strandroad

In fairness you may have unknowingly hit her where it hurt. Perhaps her relationship history was a sensitive area for her and seeing how the two of you had no history of discussing deep stuff, it may have felt like you thought of her as immature or unwanted. Have you apologised properly when it happened?

Perhaps send her a message saying that you miss her company and if she'll have time for you anytime soon then leave it with her.

Big Bag of Chips

GingerLily wrote: »

If someone doesn't want to be your piss up buddy that's their perogative, you just have to accept it

GingerLily, this post falls far short of the standard expected here. Modify your tone or don't post.

Cushie Butterfield

OP, I’m struggling to understand why you’d want to hang out with someone who doesn’t want anything to do with you. Do you think you can somehow force them to like you & want to spend time with you?

That’s not how it works. Just move on.

Big Bag of Chips

I think people are being a bit harsh to just advise forgetting it and moving on. It seems to be the go to advice for every situation now, indeed it is what your friend advised you to do whilst you were still in the middle of a breakup and still sorting out the practicalities of it all. Life, feelings, friendships, emotions, relationships etc are not so black and white that people can just switch to "forget about it", "move on". I think your friend was offering advice from a good place, but her advice simply wasn't practical and you let her know that. She took the hump, which you have no control over. Honestly you could have just as easily taken the hump over her dismissive advice to you after the end of a 12 year relationship where you lived together and your lives were entwined.

If you would like to try make amends then I think you need to try get in contact with her. Either by text or preferably speaking to her. You were good friends at one point. I'm not sure why people are making a deal out of the fact that you wouldn't share intimate details of your life with her. Most of us have very few people in our lives that we would be comfortable telling them intimate stuff about our life. I have a fairly wide circles of friends. I probably, realistically have 2, maybe 3 people who I would open up to about problems in my life. Does that mean I should only have 2 or 3 friends?

In think you need to try talk to her. Apologise because you obviously upset her, but in fairness as a friend she should have understood you were upset at that time and she should not have made the situation about her. I think even if you do reach out to her, your friendship probably won't ever be the same again anyway. But at least you'll know you tried.

Talkinghands87

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I think people are being a bit harsh to just advise forgetting..............

But at least you'll know you tried.

As always big bag of chips your advice is ever so helpful.

I apologized when we talked it out the day after and I explained that no badness was meant that no one can understand how another person feels. I thought things were okay until she moved her seat on the flight. I feel had she not done that any awkwardness would of been resolved on the flight.
I explained all this to the counsellor I was seeing at the time and she said that it went from words to actions when she done that.
I don't even know what I'm looking for I just feel like everyone in my life has walked away.

bucketybuck

Im at that age when if a friend says something that genuinely hurts, I do seriously think to myself if I want that sort of friend in my life.

I don't know what age the OP is, 30 or close to it I guess, but perhaps this friend has had the same thought. Especially since you are not close friends, just social friends, and all she is losing is the sort of friend who is happy to get a dig in but still wants somebody to come drinking with her.

Your friend has put up some very obvious signs, to be honest I think you should respect them.

bucketybuck

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

As always big bag of chips your advice is ever so helpful.

I apologized when we talked it out the day after and I explained that no badness was meant that no one can understand how another person feels. I thought things were okay until she moved her seat on the flight.

Sounds like you talked things out, she agreed to keep the peace but had already made up her mind about the long term.

Talkinghands87

bucketybuck wrote: »

Im at that age when if a friend says something that genuinely hurts, I do seriously think to myself if I want that sort of friend in my life.

I don't know what age the OP is, 30 or close to it I guess, but perhaps this friend has had the same thought. Especially since you are not close friends, just social friends, and all she is losing is the sort of friend who is happy to get a dig in but still wants somebody to come drinking with her.

Your friend has put up some very obvious signs, to be honest I think you should respect them.

How was it a dig? It's just a fact of life that she doesn't know what it's like to be with someone for 12 years. Plenty don't. If someone told me I don't know if what it's like to have a kid I wouldn't be offended sure I don't have kids

strandroad

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

How was it a dig? It's just a fact of life that she doesn't know what it's like to be with someone for 12 years. Plenty don't. If someone told me I don't know if what it's like to have a kid I wouldn't be offended sure I don't have kids

But if you dreamed of having kids and was not able to, it could hurt you quite a bit, even if the statement was factually correct. Perhaps something similar happened there.

Talkinghands87

strandroad wrote: »

But if you dreamed of having kids and was not able to, it could hurt you quite a bit, even if the statement was factually correct. Perhaps something similar happened there.

Yeah but I don't know if that's what she dreams of so unless I know that then how is it a dig?

Scraggs

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

How was it a dig? It's just a fact of life that she doesn't know what it's like to be with someone for 12 years. Plenty don't. If someone told me I don't know if what it's like to have a kid I wouldn't be offended sure I don't have kids

Well you can't decide if it's a dig to her or not. She may have felt it was. I know I certainly would take it that way as to me it's more or less saying oh you don't how relationships work or what do you know? Now that may not have been the intention and of course we don't have the full context of your relationship with her but you can't outright say it wasn't a dig when you don't know how it was received. If you feel strongly enough you should apologise even by text if necessary and see what happens. To be honest though as harsh as it may sound I'm not sure there was a solid friendship there in the first place from you've posted here.

Talkinghands87

Scraggs wrote: »

Well you can't decide if it's a dig to her or not. She may have felt it was. I know I certainly would take it that way as to me it's more or less saying oh you don't how relationships work or what do you know? Now that may not have been the intention and of course we don't have the full context of your relationship with her but you can't outright say it wasn't a dig when you don't know how it was received. If you feel strongly enough you should apologise even by text if necessary and see what happens. To be honest though as harsh as it may sound I'm not sure there was a solid friendship there in the first place from you've posted here.

But for it to be a dig there has to be bad intent from my part and there wasn't.

We have travelled the world together and went to school together. We don't discuss private business in great dept because she an extremely private person.

Addle

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

passing time to go to her bloody 30th birthday...

I do miss her though and now that I'm single and building my life back up it would be great to have her

Your attitude towards her is blatantly disrespectful.
I wouldn't put an effort into maintaining a friendship with someone who thinks this way.
You probably wouldn't want to maintain a friendship with me either.
So best to both move on.

Scraggs

OK so as you've said it wasn't an intentional dig but she must have taken it as one and was offended/hurt by your remark. Were you this obtuse/unable to see her side when you apologised the following day because that may be where the miscommunication began?

Talkinghands87

Addle wrote: »

Your attitude towards her is blatantly disrespectful.
I wouldn't put an effort into maintaining a friendship with someone who thinks this way.
You probably wouldn't want to maintain a friendship with me either.
So best to both move on.

I felt so much pressure to go to her 30th that I had to sit in a car for 6 hours after handing over the keys to my apartment after a break up and I'm disrespectful.

I dunno anymore sometimes these threads actually cause me to feel worse than when I start them.

Talkinghands87

Scraggs wrote: »

OK so as you've said it wasn't an intentional dig but she must have taken it as one and was offended/hurt by your remark. Were you this obtuse/unable to see her side when you apologised the following day because that may be where the miscommunication began?

We talked it out the day after and both agreed that we misunderstood each other and it was fine until the airport. Even at her party she was fine with me a month later.

bbbbb

You say your friend is very private, and hadn't had any long term relationships. Is it possible she favours ladies? Would she be possibly be looking for something different with your relationship.
Sorry if this is over reading between the lines

Scraggs

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

We talked it out the day after and both agreed that we misunderstood each other and it was fine until the airport. Even at her party she was fine with me a month later.

How often did you see each other before you were single? Perhaps as others have suggested you should give her a call and see if there's something up, at least that way you'll know of it is something or if the friendship has just naturally drifted.

Talkinghands87

bbbbb wrote: »

You say your friend is very private, and hadn't had any long term relationships. Is it possible she favours ladies? Would she be possibly be looking for something different with your relationship.
Sorry if this is over reading between the lines

Nah wouldn't think so. And certainly not with me.

Talkinghands87

Scraggs wrote: »

How often did you see each other before you were single? Perhaps as others have suggested you should give her a call and see if there's something up, at least that way you'll know of it is something or if the friendship has just naturally drifted.

Maybe 5/6 times a year. Dinners, chats, drinks every 2 months or so. I lived far out of the city when I was with the ex so it wasn't as easy.

Talkinghands87

I guess because I'm so easy going with friendships I understand that words get said, people do things and have disagreements. Like any relationship. People move on then I'm not used to being in a friendship where there is no room whatsoever for ever and having to be walking on eggshells shells.

NiceFella

Even I was a little insulted by the remark about your friend not having any long term relationships in her life. If you think about it, it is a highly insensitive remark especially in the face of someone who is trying to help you out regardless of how practical the advice is they are giving you. It brings up all sorts of insecurities in a person. Looks/personality/self esteem/desirability. Not to mention it as completely unfair to dismiss her opinion on that basis. Suppose she gave you good advice, would her inexperience matter to you then?

Talkinghands87

NiceFella wrote: »

Even I was a little insulted by the remark about your friend not having any long term relationships in her life. If you think about it, it is a highly insensitive remark especially in the face of someone who is trying to help you out regardless of how practical the advice is they are giving you. It brings up all sorts of insecurities in a person. Looks/personality/self esteem/desirability. Not to mention it as completely unfair to dismiss her opinion on that basis. Suppose she gave you good advice, would her inexperience matter to you then?

I think this person may think your not a very thoughtful person. You say you didn't mean to hurt her but imo that remark can only be seen as an insult.

If that was the case then fair enough. However she never said that she was offended and the next day after the talk was fine until the flight home.

From my point of view if someone pointed out to me that I've never been married or never have kids so I don't know what it feels like I wouldn't be offended because it's the truth. But I'm not easily offended by things that are true so I dunno maybe I just see things differently.

Also I never said to her that she didn't understand because she never had ANY relationships I said she never had a 12 year one and at 30 most people haven't

NiceFella

Talkinghands87 wrote:

From my point of view if someone pointed out to me that I've never been married or never have kids so I don't know what it feels like I wouldn't be offended because it's the truth. But I'm not easily offended by things that are true so I dunno maybe I just see things differently.

OP, just because someone has had more experience doesn't always mean they have better advice. For example we know plenty of parents who are unfit to be parents. Does that make their advice on how to raise kids better than say an ordinary person who is planning on having them. You see It's not always the case. And I feel your friend felt your dismissal of her advice on that basis unfair and insulting.

I'm not saying her advice was any good either but you can't just say well sure how would you know. You need to explain why her advice isn't viable. Play the ball not the man.

cstaff

I have read your previous thread about your break up and know you are going through a tough time but that doesn't mean that it is ok to make your friends feel small and irrelevant when they are trying to help you even if you don't agree with what they are saying. I am not trying to be mean but it can't all be about you all the time. Maybe your friend was having a bad day but didn't feel able to tell you as you have been having a tough time.

Maybe you need to give her more time and talk to her about herself and not your issues. Just a thought.

martin101

OP you keep saying you are just being factual by saying she wasn't in a long term relationship like "well it's a fact so she shouldnt be offended" maybe all she wanted in life is a long relationship but you brought that up like as if to say what would you know you haven't been in a long relationship, maybe she felt belittled by that statement. That's the way I'm reading it and worst of all you think it's ok to say that. Just cause something is factual doesn't mean you have to say it. Yeah the truth hurts , but maybe it's best not to always say the truth.

leggo

Just putting this out there...

I know a girl I'd have been quite close friends with at one stage, we would've talked about everything. She broke up with her fella recently and, whether she realised it or not, every conversation she had ended up reverting back to her break-up. I felt awful for her at first but eventually it began to drain me how much she was putting on my shoulders. Went home and told my housemate, who's got a Masters in Psychology, and she was like "Yeah, sounds like you've got empathy fatigue. It's perfectly normal." And she hit the nail on the head. There's only so much you can feel bad for someone before it calls into question how much you really want to be support for them, because eventually empathising and taking on their grief starts to take a toll on you too. If I felt this way about someone and they decided to take a dig at me (and that's what it was whether you intended it or not), that'd probably be enough for me to start putting some distance between myself and that person. It's also very grating to have someone you're trying to support lash out at you with hurtful comments over their own problems.

OP a break-up of 12 years is a huge, life-changing event. Have you been to counselling or is there a possibility you've leaned on your friends a lot, even without realising? You've started multiple threads on boards about this same break-up now, is it consuming your thoughts? Could it be possible that, to others, it may seem like this is all you talk and think about? If you aren't going to counselling and unloading this wave of (very real, legitimate) emotions on someone who is professionally trained to deal with it, then there may be the possibility that people like your friend will push away from you just for their own sanity. This is a time when you likely need people around, so that's not what you want. If you're not already, I think it's time to go to counselling and deal with it on a professional level.

Talkinghands87

NiceFella wrote: »

OP, just because someone has had more experience doesn't always mean they have better advice. For example we know plenty of parents who are unfit to be parents. Does that make their advice on how to raise kids better than say an ordinary person who is planning on having them. You see It's not always the case. And I feel your friend felt your dismissal of her advice on that basis unfair and insulting.

I'm not saying her advice was any good either but you can't just say well sure how would you know. You need to explain why her advice isn't viable. Play the ball not the man.

I explained numerous times why her advice didn't suit me. For weeks I told her it was impossible to cut off someone like that and for weeks she pushed it making me feel like it was my own fault for getting upset because I wouldn't do what she said and cut him off.after 12 years and still many connections.

Talkinghands87

leggo wrote: »

Just putting this out there...

I know a girl I'd have been quite close friends with at one stage, we would've talked about everything. She broke up with her fella recently and, whether she realised it or not, every conversation she had ended up reverting back to her break-up. I felt awful for her at first but eventually it began to drain me how much she was putting on my shoulders. Went home and told my housemate, who's got a Masters in Psychology, and she was like "Yeah, sounds like you've got empathy fatigue. It's perfectly normal." And she hit the nail on the head. There's only so much you can feel bad for someone before it calls into question how much you really want to be support for them, because eventually empathising and taking on their grief starts to take a toll on you too. If I felt this way about someone and they decided to take a dig at me (and that's what it was whether you intended it or not), that'd probably be enough for me to start putting some distance between myself and that person. It's also very grating to have someone you're trying to support lash out at you with hurtful comments over their own problems.

OP a break-up of 12 years is a huge, life-changing event. Have you been to counselling or is there a possibility you've leaned on your friends a lot, even without realising? You've started multiple threads on boards about this same break-up now, is it consuming your thoughts? Could it be possible that, to others, it may seem like this is all you talk and think about? If you aren't going to counselling and unloading this wave of (very real, legitimate) emotions on someone who is professionally trained to deal with it, then there may be the possibility that people like your friend will push away from you just for their own sanity. This is a time when you likely need people around, so that's not what you want. If you're not already, I think it's time to go to counselling and deal with it on a professional level.

I've mentioned in all my threads including this one that I've been in counselling. I'm very careful not to talk with friends about this breakup as there is a lot of details I never ever want anyone to know about due to pure humiliation.
I've actually been doing pretty good the last month since moving apartments.

I've one friend who knows it all purely because she is also going through a separation so we lean on each other.

Talkinghands87

Really all I wanted advise on was if I should just let it go...
The arguement was had. It was resolved. Then she moved seat on the plane days later. Month later she asked me to go to her 30th I went even on a day when I wanted to just curl up and die I went anyway. She was fine at the party. I've messaged twice since. Nothing from her really, do I just move on?

uck51js9zml2yt

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

Really all I wanted advise on was if I should just let it go...
The arguement was had. It was resolved. Then she moved seat on the plane days later. Month later she asked me to go to her 30th I went even on a day when I wanted to just curl up and die I went anyway. She was fine at the party. I've messaged twice since. Nothing from her really, do I just move on?

Yes!

Yellow pack crisps

She doesn’t seem like a good friend. It’s an extreme reaction to move seats on an airplane over a flippant remark when you were going through a break up of a relationship of over 12 years! You could be cut slack for anything said over this period. When you get to 30’s you lose friends it’s just the way of the world. Your friend expected you to get over a 12 year relationship in three weeks which isn’t a great thing to say to a supposive friend. I don’t know about moving on but you should let your friend make the next move. The answer will be whether she contacts you or not.

Panrich

OP this looks like a case where two people badly misread each other.

In her case, she took insult in what you said although there was no malice from your side.

For your part you seem to have completely misread the depth of her hurt as you seem to think that the talk on the following day resolved the issue. This is clearly not the case as she seems to have made her mind up afterwards to cut you loose from her life completely and couldn’t even bring herself to sit with you on the flight home.

I’d say that the party invite was political to just ease you out of her life rather than a desire to keep your relationship going.

You should move on in my view as she seems to have decided that you are no longer friends.

FurBabyMomma

Did you ask her out for a drink, just the two of you? You said she was fine with you at her party and maybe she is. But she could be worried that if it's a one-on-one situation, she could end up with the same situation as last time, where there are emotions involved and she gets hurt or rejected. (I understand the last time was unintended, as you were obviously hurting too, but what you said probably still smarted.) Maybe try asking her for coffee with a common friend and if she rejects that, take it as your answer?

Teyla Emmagan

You could try one more chat/apology and if that doesn't work out you will have to let it go. I don't really blame her for being annoyed with you though so she may not even want to meet you. You were so caught up in your own pain you weird lashing out at people who were trying to help. I didn't really like the 'now that i'm single she would be handy to have around' remark though. Would you be even thinking about her if your relationship hadn't broken down? I'd say you wouldn't and she may pick up on that.

charlietheminxx

I’m going to play devils advocate here because I’ve been on the other side of this situation.

Last year, a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before we went away in June. She was devastated, naturally, and we were all there for her. She probably shouldn’t have gone on the holiday, it was too soon and she wasn’t ready but she insisted she was fine and wanted to get on with her life.

When we went away, any time she had a few drinks she was pouring her heart out to people or getting very upset - which was perfectly understandable but it meant we spent a lot of the trip looking after her. We went out one evening and 20 mins in she started crying and disappeared, which was really stressful and meant I had to leave to go find her... on the phone to her ex. Myself and another friend sat her down that night and offered the best advice we could, and just got lashed out at majorly because apparently we didn’t understand. Honestly, while we love her and wanted to be there for her, it was really draining to spend our whole holiday looking after someone who didn’t want our help/advice. One of our friends is very outgoing/loud and the woman with the recent breakup was saying awful things about how much they were annoying her with their loud talking/laughing at night and how much it was adding to her stress.

My point is this - every bad breakup is unique in how it hurts but if you have a broken heart, that bit is pretty much the same for everyone. Someone might not understand your specific relationship but that doesn’t mean they can’t offer you advice. You said she had been giving you the same advice for weeks (which you ignored) but that means you had obviously been discussing it with her for weeks.

There is nothing more frustrating than seeing your friend hurt over and over and crying to you about it non-stop and yet throwing your advice back in your face. Your friend was probably drained from supporting you through this and you were not only ungrateful but insulting.

I think you need to work on your scope of how you look at things. That might be your friend’s holiday for the year and you turned it sour for her when she was just trying to be a good friend. She may have said it was ok because she realised it was a volatile time for you and she didn’t want to start a row about it on holiday, but it’s ok for her to feel hurt and not be as enthusiastic to seek you out. If you’ve been friends for a long time, you might work through it and resolve it. Sometimes these things can ease out over time but in this case, it would be worth mentioning that you’ve reflected on your behaviour earlier this year and realise you may have lashed out a couple of times when you were very distressed and hope that it won’t affect your friendship in the future.

Just my 2c anyway.

LegacyUser

charlietheminxx wrote: »

I think you need to work on your scope of how you look at things. That might be your friend’s holiday for the year and you turned it sour for her when she was just trying to be a good friend. She may have said it was ok because she realised it was a volatile time for you and she didn’t want to start a row about it on holiday, but it’s ok for her to feel hurt and not be as enthusiastic to seek you out. If you’ve been friends for a long time, you might work through it and resolve it. Sometimes these things can ease out over time but in this case, it would be worth mentioning that you’ve reflected on your behaviour earlier this year and realise you may have lashed out a couple of times when you were very distressed and hope that it won’t affect your friendship in the future.

Just my 2c anyway.

+ 1 I've had similar to this as well when a friend went through a bad breakup and we all were there for them, supporting them but after a while it did start to become a chore. It can be hard to see sometimes when you are in the middle of the storm how it's effecting those around you.

I'll be honest and say I'd have looked to move plane seats as well as it's not how I would want to spend the last few hours of my holiday if there had been that drama even if we'd talked it out. The birthday thing I'm sorry OP but how is it her fault you had nothing to do for 6 hours before the party? If you only lived an hour outside of the city you could have gone home or gone to the cinema etc etc Sounding a little martyr like in the description.

If you want to stay friends then call her and ask to chat otherwise let it go and move on.

Pelvis

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

I felt so much pressure to go to her 30th that I had to sit in a car for 6 hours after handing over the keys to my apartment after a break up and I'm disrespectful.

I dunno anymore sometimes these threads actually cause me to feel worse than when I start them.

You live an hour commute away, why didn't you just go home?

I think it's time to stop playing the victim OP.

HandsomeBob

Talkinghands87 wrote: »

Really all I wanted advise on was if I should just let it go...
The arguement was had. It was resolved. Then she moved seat on the plane days later. Month later she asked me to go to her 30th I went even on a day when I wanted to just curl up and die I went anyway. She was fine at the party. I've messaged twice since. Nothing from her really, do I just move on?

I've been in your situation Op.... it really comes down to how far you're willing to let your dignity take a hit. Whatever about what happened and who was at fault, if this person does wish to cut you out she should have the neck to say so instead of ignoring you. But seemingly she doesn't

You've tried op..... twice. Just leave it would be my advice now.

NiceFella

OP, I might be being a little harsh on you, but im just trying to see how your friend may have felt which is important. I understand you went through a tough break up and hopefully your feeling alot better now. I have a friend who at one stage wasn't very nice to me. They were very condescending at times to me and I put up with it because we were in school and I'm not an argumentative person. I eventually said nah I'm not gonna bother with this person anymore so I started to keep my distance. They basically copped on after a bit and the person is like a new person completely. Much more appreciative of me and more interested. It did take me a while to come around but we're fine now.

Addle

You just get to a point where you can't be bothered to put up with anyone that's anyways draining at all.
It's not usually worth the effort.