Having a 3 year old get herself to sleep?

The One Doctor

We're indulgent parents and we've always gotten our 3.5 yo daughter to sleep with stories etc. We basically read to her until she's asleep. It can take five minutes or ninety minutes and it can be a bit frustrating, so I'd like to get her into the habit of getting herself to sleep. We usually give her a story, 1/3 of a bottle of milk and brush her teeth, then launch into the stories.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm afraid we'll be still doing it when she's fifteen!

jlm29

TBH, at 3.5, I’d say you should be able to explain to her that you’ll read stories for x length of time, or let her choose a set number of books herself, and let that be it? If she kicks up, you could try stopping reading to her after however long and then sitting with her for a while, and shortening the time you’re sitting there?
My 2.5 yr old usually takes a couple of toys into his cot, and will play, or flick through his books or whatever until he goes to sleep himself.
I was VERY indulgent with him (and I still am with my one yr old), but once we both started doing the same thing with him every night, he started settling himself very quickly

mirrorwall14

3.5 year old boy here. No milk upstairs for us (last cup at the table if he wants it). Pj’s on, little bit of chatting then teeth, two stories. He has to be lying down tucked under his covers for the second one. He picks them. Hugs&kisses and leave. He can keep a book in bed if he likes. Works 99% of the time. Both parents do the same routine although daddy sometimes makes up the second story from his head

shesty

Pretty much the same as mirrorwall here with a two and four year old.I second jlm's advice.

LegacyUser

we have a 2.5 year old and whenever we change routines she hates it, they can get quite set in their ways but once a new routine is established in a few days she gets on with it happily,


ours is

-put on pyjama's
-brush teeth and go to the toilet (she's potty trained)
-she picks 3 books (although she's moving from the spot/mungo monkey books to Julia Donaldsons/"book with no pictures"..esq books which are longer so we might drop to 2 soon)
-after books are read if she's not already asleep she's "tucked in" and left to drift off by herself,

she occasionally asks for water so she gets a small cup of water to take a sip from (with the potty training we are discouraging liquids after dinner which is usually an hour before bed so we encourage a sip of water)

perseverance and calmness really does work even if its hard when they get all worked up and upset, if they get REALLY upset you aren't going to get anywhere with them like that, (would you do something again if it distressed you?) so calm her down with hugs/cuddles if you can and when she's calm go straight back to the new routine, repeat as needed.

that would be my advice...

The One Doctor

Thanks all, great ideas from everyone!