Indoor swimming pool

anon999

Was swimming with my kids in a crowded pool earlier. Changing rooms were all busy so I managed to get changed using my towel to cover myself.
My daughter was next to me but there was this adult male to our left who just took it all off, my daughter who is13 had a full view of his bits. There were other people to my right who didn't seem to notice. I just stared at him but he didn't meet my eye. I was tempted to say something but didn't.
Overreaction? What do you think?

Westernyelp

Where were ye changing? In the male locker room?

If it was in an open area. He should have been more aware of the people around him

Addle

Why was a 13 year old girl in a male changing area?
He's entitled to feel put out by her presence.
She shouldn't have been there.

banie01

Westernyelp wrote: »

Where were ye changing? In the male locker room?

Very relevant OP, were ye in the male changing room/area?

listermint

Suspect poster with no post history ....

anon999

listermint wrote: »

Suspect poster with no post history ....

It was a communal area

Pawwed Rig

If it was a male changing room then he was quite entitled to get changed. If you bring your children into male changing rooms they are going to see naked men. If you bring them to female changing rooms they will see naked women. Don't mean to be rude but it is hardly enexpected is it?

Or am I missing something here??

anon999

Where did I say it was a male changing room????

iamwhoiam

Where is this pool with a communal changing area only ?

Addle

anon999 wrote: »

It was a communal area

In a public indoor swimming pool? That's very unusual, if not unique.
Are there no other changing areas?
If there are, why did you choose the communal area over them?

bertsmom

If its a communal area and its a swimming pool what did you expect? Theres bound to be bodies to be seen. I dont see why its an issue. It sounds like the man was just getting dressed. Bodies are bodies its hardly a big deal. Are people expected to huddle around clutching a towel to protect the blushes of others? Probably be better to just teach your daughter bodies are nothing to be ashamed of and to be happy in her own skin.
You cant expect others to covered up in a swimming pool or gym changing room just because you feel its more appropriate.

anon999

Again, where did I say it was communal only???? all the changing rooms were busy so communal was the only option.

I'm sorry I asked the question now

iamwhoiam

anon999 wrote: »

Again, where did I say it was communal only???? all the changing rooms were busy so communal was the only option.

I'm sorry I asked the question now

Then you should have waited until a 13 year old girl had privacy

anon999

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Then you should have waited until a 13 year old girl had privacy

She was waiting at the time

mloc123

If he was just getting changed and didn't take a excessive amount of time to do so... I don't think it is a major issue.

I doubt your daughter will be too disturbed by it and will no doubt see similar again in the future.

iamwhoiam

Where is this pool ?

deco nate

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Where is this pool ?

In la la land. Not a communal area but waiting for the changing room? What country?
Not Ireland

anon999

deco nate wrote: »

In la la land. Not a communal area but waiting for the changing room? What country?
Not Ireland

the pool is in Kilkee county Clare
it was a simple question I posted. I wanted to know what others thought. If it was me and there were both adults and kids around I would certainly not be shaking my bits around.

GreeBo

anon999 wrote: »

It was a communal area

A communal *changing* area or just like a corridor or something thats not meant for changing at all?

We werent there OP, we need more details.

anon999

GreeBo wrote: »

A communal *changing* area or just like a corridor or something thats not meant for changing at all?

We werent there OP, we need more details.

no, not a corridor, there is a large bench (prob 8*8 ft) between all the lockers and people were getting changed there because all the rooms were busy

deco nate

anon999 wrote: »

the pool is in Kilkee county Clare
it was a simple question I posted. I wanted to know what others thought. If it was me and there were both adults and kids around I would certainly not be shaking my bits around.

Is that an outdoor pool and a few changing cubicles that you sit outside and wait for? Have to agree with you I'd cover myself up with a towel

Westernyelp

In fairness you are getting to hear those thoughts. I wouldn't think it is a major issue. Shouldn't be scared of the human body. I doubt he was shaking his bits around as you put it. If he was. It's a different story

SlinkyL

Lots of public pools will have communal changing areas with private cubicles off the communal area so the OP is not describing anything unusual IMO. I agree, as a 40 year old woman I would not openly strip off and change in a communal area if it was very busy with males and females of all ages. I agree the man could/should have been more discreet.

Hannibal_Smith

anon999 wrote: »

Again, where did I say it was communal only???? all the changing rooms were busy so communal was the only option.

I'm sorry I asked the question now

To be fair, these things matter, that's why people were asking. From the opening post it sounded like you were in a male changing room. When you raised an issue with that, the take on it was it was communal only. Easy conclusion to come to. No need to take it personally.

Not sure if it's worth responding, if you regret asking, but it's not unusual for people to be naked in changing areas of swimming pool. It certainly doesn't sound from your post as if he was flaunting himself in front of her, or that there was anything seedy about it. He was just getting changed?

Peatys

If you choose to wait beside men getting changed, you're going to see them in all their natural glory.

Squall Leonhart

To be fair OP, the information initially provided was unclear.

If it was a communal area then people will see bodies. Once nobody is lingering inappropriately or staring etc then what's the problem?

shesty

Good few public pools in Dublin with the same changing areas.
Not overeacting OP, because it was a communal area.Granted since HE was also in a communal area he could have tried a bit harder to cover up, but equally there was nothing too wrong with what he did either.

dudara

Posters - that’s enough with the questioning. It’s not the Spanish Inquistion here. Remember, posts should be addressed to the OP and should offer helpful & constructive advice.

dudara

eviltwin

I don't see the big deal. It's not always easy to be discreet and keep everything covered. Great if you can but what did she see really? A penis and a bum? In the context of a pool changing room it's not that big a deal.

Eric Cartman

Indoor pools are surprisingly cheap (to buy the materials) , a fibreglass pool kit and all the bits to go with it is about 5 grand for a reasonable sized one. The labour to put it in would cost you another few but you could do it yourself.

Big Bag of Chips

Many of the modern pools now have 1 large changing area with loads of private individual and family booths. They are more common now, because it is the guidelines in many 'old' pools that children over 7 cannot be brought into the changing room of the opposite sex, and must change in their own dressing room. So these communal changing areas, with individual changing booths are quite common and convenient, especially for families with small kids.

OP, I'm not sure what advice can be offered to you. Yer man should have been a bit more discreet, absolutely, but your 13 year old wasn't forced to look at him, and you say the people beside you didn't even notice. He didn't interact with her in any way. She could very easily avoid being close to him or having to see him.

Maybe it would be worth mentioning to staff to put up some sort of notice that at busy periods patrons should be mindful of others. But I do agree. It was only a body. And unless he was walking around with it all swinging out, he wasn't really causing much bother.

pwurple

Why did you stare at him?

I wouldn’t worry about it... we are all naked under our clothes. My kids wouldn’t have been bothered.

You’d have a right fright in France or the Nordic countries if a mans bum is offensive.

power pants

With a 13 year old girl I would have waited the extra 5 mins to use the private cubicles

naughtysmurf

Because it's Ireland, if I was the guy in question, as the changing area seemed packed, I'd have just mentioned descretely to the OP , that I was going ahead & getting changed giving him/her an opportunity to move or leave with their daughter & got changed as quickly & descretely as possible.

The OP would have got a heads up, I'd have changed, no heads would have exploded, no panic attacks & everyone would have gone about their day

jimgoose

It'll happen now and then, particularly with a set-up such as described. I don't think it'll amaze the 13-year-old, or bother her unduly.

skallywag

If I was in that guy's shoes (or out of them being more appropriate here!) I would have made an effort to throw a towel over myself as I changed, it's pretty clear that this area in question was not male only.

OP, can you clarify what you mean with 'shaking his bits around' ? i.e. was he parading around with the intention of being noticed ? If so he is clearly out of order in my book.

If on the other hand he was just getting changed in a 'normal' non attention seeking manner, then I frankly have no idea why you flew into a strop.

DONTMATTER

The OP was with her daughter in the communal area. The OP got changed under her towel, they were waiting for a changing room to open up so the 13 year old could get changed. While they were waiting a man was getting changed and he wasn't being discreet. He spent a bit of time completely naked with his penis in full view and no effort was made to hide it.
This is clearly what the OP described and I don't know what all the confusion is about. Clearly the man was in the wrong. He's allowed to get changed but should have the consideration to put on some underwear quickly and not be flopping about in front of children. Surely this is common sense and just basic decency.

Xterminator

yes, the original poster has clarified that he waved his willy a few times. oh wait they didnt. actually op never even suggested the man spent any unnecessary time naked or didn't try to be discreet. what they actually said was

adult male to our left who just took it all off, my daughter who is13 had a full view of his bits. There were other people to my right who didn't seem to notice. I just stared at him but he didn't meet my eye.

i think you are projecting your own issues into this and engorging the situation - (sorry couldn't resist).

Look its a communal area, and people are getting changed. Its that simple, there are going to be body parts on view. IMO any issue here is the OPs and my advice would be to wait for and use the private areas if this is a concern.

DONTMATTER

Xterminator wrote: »

yes, the original poster has clarified that he waved his willy a few times. oh wait they didnt. actually op never even suggested the man spent any unnecessary time naked or didn't try to be discreet. what they actually said was



i think you are projecting your own issues into this and engorging the situation - (sorry couldn't resist).

Look its a communal area, and people are getting changed. Its that simple, there are going to be body parts on view. IMO any issue here is the OPs and my advice would be to wait for and use the private areas if this is a concern.

The OP was waiting for a private area to open up so her daughter could go in. You need to read the thread properly. You also missed this:

anon999 wrote: »

If it was me and there were both adults and kids around I would certainly not be shaking my bits around.

So it turns out my post was 100% correct and yours was 100% incorrect.

Neyite

Probably the most straightforward solution is to talk to management.



It might be an overcrowding issue or maybe they need to create more changing cubicles. Or he could be someone who's doing it deliberately for kicks.
But if it's a regular thing, and management are unable or unwilling to help then you should probably vote with your feet and find a pool that does have adequate changing space.

dudara

@skallywag and kylith - I’ve deleted both your posts as you did not appear to heed my previous warning. Consider yourself lucky not to be carded. Please read the forum charter before posting again.

@DONTMATTER - you are not offering any advice to the OP. Personal Issues is not about being right, it is about helping people. Read the forum charter before posting again.

dudara

ManOfMystery

This is really only an issue if you felt the man getting changed deliberately took as long as he could or deliberately faced your daughter so that she would see his penis. It's not outside the realms of possibility as there are people out there who get a kick out of subtle flashing without actually breaking any laws. That would be quite wrong to do. 

If he was just getting changed like any other person - which is the more likely scenario here - then this is really a non-issue. Your daughter saw a penis for a short time; surely that's to be expected in a communal changing area? I don't think it will cause her any longterm damage or stress. Plenty of males and females see such things on beaches, plenty of families are naturists and survive the trauma, etc.

DONTMATTER

From what the OP has said, the man was shaking his bits about. Maybe not on purpose but he definitely wasn't as discreet as he should have been in front of kids. If it happens again OP, I'd advise you to make a complaint. It's inappropriate behaviour and it's nothing something you or your daughter should have to tolerate.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I'd be more nonplussed by the trying to stare him out of it while he was changing tbh, no wonder he avoided your eye.

If the people on the other side of you didn't seem to notice he can't have been waving it around that much, a wagging willy would tend to draw a few eyes like.

Have you talked to your daughter? Did she care? I can imagine at thirteen it would be very embarassing, but I say she might survive.

iamwhoiam

Wouldn't you think in this day and age someone would market a towelling cape to help us wrinkely people get changed in peace .

woodchuck

I think you're overreacting OP. Could he have been more discreet? Probably. However, if it's a communal changing area, it should be expected that you might get an eye full from time to time.

Unless there is more to the "shaking his bits about" remark? As you didn't mention this in your OP though and you said nobody else noticed, I'm taking this with a pinch of prudish salt unless otherwise corrected...

Westernyelp

DONTMATTER wrote:

From what the OP has said, the man was shaking his bits about. Maybe not on purpose but he definitely wasn't as discreet as he should have been in front of kids. If it happens again OP, I'd advise you to make a complaint. It's inappropriate behaviour and it's nothing something you or your daughter should have to tolerate.

OP never clarified that this was the case when asked, and I very much doubt it's true.
I also think it was meant as a figure of speech by the OP. Unless they want to correct me?

DONTMATTER

Westernyelp wrote: »

OP never clarified that this was the case when asked, and I very much doubt it's true.
I also think it was meant as a figure of speech by the OP. Unless they want to correct me?

Am they've only posted once after they posted this:

anon999 wrote: »

the pool is in Kilkee county Clare
it was a simple question I posted. I wanted to know what others thought. If it was me and there were both adults and kids around I would certainly not be shaking my bits around.

Just because they haven't been online doesn't mean it somehow didn't happen. It clearly wasn't a momentary thing. If others are comfortable with men being naked in front of children for longer than is necessary then fair enough. You can do that with your kids.
The OP is not comfortable with her child witnessing that so she shouldn't have to put up with it. As I've said OP, if it happens again then complain. You were the only one of us there and you know it wasn't right.

Rubberchikken

Its a reasonable question op but unless your daughter has an issue with it and i cant think why she should, then id say forget about it.
In a communal changing room i think people just have to get on with changing and pay no attention to anyone around them.
I think by trying to meet the mans eyes to register your 'offence' it could have become an issue for your kid.

Hitman3000

OP if you have an issue using a communal changing area might I suggest you and whom ever is with you wait till you get home to change. I don't find it believable that any male waved his bits around for a young child to see especially considering society now. Even more telling is no one around you was concerned.

Hitman3000

DONTMATTER wrote:

The OP is not comfortable with her child witnessing that so she shouldn't have to put up with it. As I've said OP, if it happens again then complain. You were the only one of us there and you know it wasn't right.

Correct the OP should have waited till a gender specific or private changing room became available. She choose to use the communal area, don't see how the male was in the wrong at all. Plus it seems by their own admission only the OP had an issue.