One night stand help

LegacyUser

Hi ,


I had a one night stand with a girl I met randomly in a bar - We didnt know each other and she brought me back to her place etc , we did the deed and I left shortly afterwards ( she was living in an apartment with flatmates and said it would be best to go , ) everything was very consensual. It was very much a scenario she instigated.

I am having the worse anxiety ever thinking the worse possible outcome ie. some accusations etc etc and i cant stop thinking about the paranoia of it all to be honest. YOu always hear of these horror stories ....

Has anyone else any experience in this regards ? I have never had a one night stand before and I have to say never again either as I hated every moment of it and post it too

sexmag

Strange one.

Did she give yoy any signs,verbal or non verbal that she didn't want to have sex or didn't want to continue having sex with you at any point?

If not then you've nothing to worry about,people have ons every day,chalk it up to experience that ons's aren't for you

LegacyUser

sexmag wrote: »

Strange one.

Did she give yoy any signs,verbal or non verbal that she didn't want to have sex or didn't want to continue having sex with you at any point?

If not then you've nothing to worry about,people have ons every day,chalk it up to experience that ons's aren't for you

HI OP here again


No not at all , I've never done something like this before and felt very used after it if that makes sense ? Like the sex was awkward and clumsy !! I was just so embarrassed by the whole thing and couldn't wait to get out of there !! I just got very paranoid because of all of the above and the fact that there was little or no small talk after the deed was done.. ONS defo not for me !!!

Annasopra

I dont see the issue to be honest. As you say there was consent all along.

Payton

If it was consensual and you wore protection it should be ok.
In future for your own sanity go easy on the alcohol when your out and get to know the lady a bit first.

Teyla Emmagan

So what are you worried about? You had consensual protected sex and nobody got hurt. In the process you also discovered you don't like one night stands. This is a good thing to know, many people don't. Just chalk it up to something you won't do again.

Rachiee

OP you are worrying over nothing, why would a woman subject herself to a pelvic exam spend time making statements to the gardaí (lying) and put herself up for scrutiny.

Even if she was to file a report against you (does she even know your sur name?) all youd have to do is go and make a statement (you wouldnt be placed under arrest) the file would be sent to the DPP and if there was absolutely no evidence (and from what youve described there wouldnt be) the DPP wouldnt progress it to court. Chill and dont have more one night stands for your own sake.

TheBoyConor

I'd say you're safe enough OP, try not to worry about it. If it was not a good experience for you then ONS are maybe not for you.

However, ONS are risky when you look at it. I mean lets say it is all perfectly consentual and everyone is happy to do it at the time. Then next morning or a few days later the girl regrets it and decides to herself "right looking back I shouldn't have, therefore I didn't want it, therefore RAPE, RAPE!"
Even thought the guy had done nothing wrong his name is ruined forever in the community and even if her case is thrown out and his name is cleared there will always be the fact that he was arrested and in court for rape with a view among some that he was cleared of it and therefore he "got away" with it.

sexmag

TheBoyConor wrote: »

However, ONS are risky when you look at it. I mean lets say it is all perfectly consentual and everyone is happy to do it at the time. Then next morning or a few days later the girl regrets it and decides to herself "right looking back I shouldn't have, therefore I didn't want it, therefore RAPE, RAPE!"
Even thought the guy had done nothing wrong his name is ruined forever in the community and even if her case is thrown out and his name is cleared there will always be the fact that he was arrested and in court for rape with a view among some that he was cleared of it and therefore he "got away" with it.

It takes a special kind of f**ked up person to do that and they are in the very vast minority, less that point of a percent. This isn't helpful to the op

GingerLily

The number of false rape claims are very low, it's very exaggerated in certain parts of the media. Some people are nasty individuals and do make things up, they are in the minority though and any reasonable person,would be very careful about making that kind of allegation. Rape investigations and trials are very stressful ordials for the accuser, which is why a lot of genuine rape cases never get reported to the Garda (the rape crisis centre would have a more accurate number).



A lot of one night stands end up like yours OP, not particularly enjoyable, and very awkward. It's not uncommon at all - it just might not be for you - and that's okay. Definitely something that's overrated in today's society IMO!

power pants

I think your issue is not about any potential allegations which would be next to non existent but the fact you had a one night stand and don’t feel good about yourself

Don’t worry about it, most people have one and have no issues and some feel guilty and not comfortable with it

NiceFella

You've nothing at all to worry about. It's just a new thing that you've tried and you didn't like it. People think having it off with a randomer is great but when it gets down to it, I can see how some people would think it's strange and weird. I myself have had a few one nighters and tbh never enjoyed any of them. Just I think some people prefer a level of intimacy with someone before that, but as most men are will not turn it down if it's going. So it may have interfered with what you normally value as a person. Not to worry. You'll know what your for next time.

Ursus Horribilis

Do you have a tendency to be anxious? Because from what I can see, there's nothing unusual about this one night stand. They're not for everyone and the experience can be disappointing. They're something that can seem more exciting until the deed actually happens.

If you think about it, thousands of one night stands happen all over Ireland every weekend. If there was an issue with false rape accusations it'd have made it to the news by now. It just looks like you had a crap experience. I bet if someone asked the girl how she feels about it, she'll have much the same thoughts as you. That it wasn't one of her better experiences and that she'd rather forget about it.

Rachiee

sexmag wrote: »

Ehhhhhmmmmm pretty sure this isn't a good thing to say, this kind of comment stops actual victims of rape coming forward, I would advise deleting it but hey who am I?

Actually its extremelly accurate dpp does not prosecute without high levels of evidence

2012paddy2012

sexmag wrote: »

It takes a special kind of f**ked up person to do that and they are in the very vast minority, less that point of a percent. This isn't helpful to the op

More common than you think for the reasons outlined and similar. Wouldn't dismiss it ...probably OK though from circumstances as described .
I'd be very concerned about the huge amount of STI that you can get .... Protection or no protection ...safer ...not safe ....

Get full STI check after two weeks for STI.