Is there such a thing as 'relationship people' and others doomed to be alone

dd972

What I'm alluding to is the organic effortlessness of how most people seem to hook up, like a bloke who meets a girl at 19 then marries her at 25, save for maybe a mini break up a year or two previously.

Then there's those whom are at it like rabbits over a lifetime, multiple relationships, maybe a couple of marriages, stepfamilies, three or four long term relationships over a lifetime. The types who panic about being single for 6 months or celibate for 3.

Whilst other people just have personalities that are maybe too independent or are averse to the whole up-to-your-oxters-in people thing. I'm an introverted bloke who feels inferior to the married-with-kids or been there and done it brigade, the whole prospect of dying childless and unmarried makes me feel as if my life's been a waste of time, not that it'll matter much after my last breath.

Chaos Tourist

Why feel inferior for not being married with children? Ignore what that big dumb herd e.g., society thinks.

Conservatory

You could always get a rescue animal and never call it an animal again but a rescue animal. It seems to make people seem very happy about themselves when they say I’m bringing my rescue dog for a walk or my rescue dog doesn’t wear a lead.

corner of hells

Conservatory wrote: »

You could always get a rescue animal and never call it an animal again but a rescue animal. It seems to make people seem very happy about themselves when they say I’m bringing my rescue dog for a walk or my rescue dog doesn’t wear a lead.

I've a rescue goldfish , he gets nervous when he heard the toilet being flushed.

endacl

Conservatory wrote: »

It seems to make people seem very happy about themselves when they say I’m bringing my rescue dog for a walk or my rescue dog doesn’t wear a lead.

Y’know, I’ve never heard anybody saying that. Or anything like that.

Bet you haven’t either.

Purple Mountain

Conservatory wrote: »

You could always get a rescue animal and never call it an animal again but a rescue animal. It seems to make people seem very happy about themselves when they say I’m bringing my rescue dog for a walk or my rescue dog doesn’t wear a lead.

Schwhat?

Conservatory

endacl wrote: »

Y’know, I’ve never heard anybody saying that. Or anything like that.

Bet you haven’t either.

Type rescue dog in the old search function there home boy.

TG1

If there are people just destined to be alone I'm certainly one of them! I don't do anything to meet people, because I don't enjoy meeting new people, and I'm super awkward when forced to socialise. Life is just easier when I only have to deal with the people I know how to deal with.

Not sure that I feel inferior to my friends who can't go a day single, and need a boyfriend to validate themselves. But occasionally I do wonder would life be better with a partner, kiddies, a semidetached somewhere and a dog.

Other times though, like now when I'm eating chocolate for dinner in my pyjamas, I thank my lucky stars I've no one relying on me to behave like an adult!! :pac:

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

There are solitary people and others doomed to be in a relationship too.

It's far from predestined how things will fair out.

iamtony

TG1 wrote: »

If there are people just destined to be alone I'm certainly one of them! I don't do anything to meet people, because I don't enjoy meeting new people, and I'm super awkward when forced to socialise. Life is just easier when I only have to deal with the people I know how to deal with.

Not sure that I feel inferior to my friends who can't go a day single, and need a boyfriend to validate themselves. But occasionally I do wonder would life be better with a partner, kiddies, a semidetached somewhere and a dog.

Other times though, like now when I'm eating chocolate for dinner in my pyjamas, I thank my lucky stars I've no one relying on me to behave like an adult!! :pac:

dd972 meet TG1 and the dog yis get better be a rescue dog x.

Poor Uncle Tom

dd972 wrote: »

What I'm alluding to is the organic effortlessness of how most people seem to hook up, like a bloke who meets a girl at 19 then marries her at 25, save for maybe a mini break up a year or two previously.

Then there's those whom are at it like rabbits over a lifetime, multiple relationships, maybe a couple of marriages, stepfamilies, three or four long term relationships over a lifetime. The types who panic about being single for 6 months or celibate for 3.

Whilst other people just have personalities that are maybe too independent or are averse to the whole up-to-your-oxters-in people thing. I'm an introverted bloke who feels inferior to the married-with-kids or been there and done it brigade, the whole prospect of dying childless and unmarried makes me feel as if my life's been a waste of time, not that it'll matter much after my last breath.

Thread title complete with judgement.......:rolleyes:

bodhrandude

Its not even worth worrying about, just enjoy your life as best as you can, if people get too smoochy to each other next to you, just tell them to feck right off.

Conservatory

bodhrandude wrote: »

Its not even worth worrying about, just enjoy your life as best as you can, if people get too smoochy to each other next to you, just tell them to feck right off.

Or tell them about your dog.

Mutant z

Whatever floats your boat many people enjoy being single likewise there's many who are miserable in relationships so its entirely a matter of perspective

RobertKK

It doesn't matter if you are in a relationship, if you are never in a relationship, if you have children or not, the main thing is to be happy.
There are people who are miserable in relationships, people who are miserable on their own, then vice versa, really happy in a relationship, really happy on their own.
Just do what makes you happy.

Donald Trump

Hookers OP.

Lots and lots of Hookers



Failing that, there's some self help groups online. Incels I think they call themselves

Most people could be riding the hottest girl in the world and would still rather be single. Same people could be single and be mad for a relationship.

'The Grass is always greener..'

What's this "doomed to be alone" rubbish? You can be dating very well all through your life into your old age and not be in a serious relationship. I don't want a serious relationship, but that doesn't mean I'm alone.

I have a variety of "friends" who become intimate when it suits us, and then we go back to being friends again. Most places also have a reasonably decent dating scene (regardless of your age) if you can be bothered to get out there. Don't fall for the traditional relationship crap. You can have a great life without a serious girlfriend or marriage.

It's only really people in relationships that cast negative opinions on being single and not committing to a serious relationship... and yet, in my experience, quite often they're the ones most unhappy.

My advice... get off your ass, and learn how to date. That means not drinking more than a pint, learning to actually listen to what women say, and stop having sex as your prime motivator for being with a woman. The more you "practice", the better your experiences. There you go... Success on the way.

Donald Trump

Deleted User wrote: »

... and stop having sex as your prime motivator for being with a woman.

Yeah. Just think of all the nagging and whinging and moaning you could be getting but are missing out on


:pac:

andekwarhola

dd972 wrote: »

I'm an introverted bloke who feels inferior to the married-with-kids or been there and done it brigade, the whole prospect of dying childless and unmarried makes me feel as if my life's been a waste of time, not that it'll matter much after my last breath.

Do you tend to mention this on dates?

cloudatlas

I've known people who can't stand to be alone who hop from one relationship to the next and are hardly ever single.

Some people are definitely destined to be alone, either through a lack of appealing traits, or through a lack of commitment to relationships.

My brother is perfectly happy to fall into the latter as he enjoys his one-month flings. I feel bad for the former if they really want a relationship.

NinetyTwoTeam

I don't think so. I've been in both camps. Had an 8 year relationship and a 5 year relationship and some shorter ones. after the last LTR ended I kinda realized I prefer being single and have been now for 2.5 years. Ive never really been one to feel lonely very often, I actually find it draining to be around people all the time, especially when it's the same person and they expect attention all the time.

And I also have a rescue dog. (seriously)

Conservatory

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

I don't think so. I've been in both camps. Had an 8 year relationship and a 5 year relationship and some shorter ones. after the last LTR ended I kinda realized I prefer being single and have been now for 2.5 years. Ive never really been one to feel lonely very often, I actually find it draining to be around people all the time, especially when it's the same person and they expect attention all the time.

And I also have a rescue dog. (seriously)

Why can’t you just call him a dog. You know it’s only been the last decade that people started to announce that they got their dog from the pound. I got all my dogs from there.

Capt'n Midnight

corner of hells wrote: »

I've a rescue goldfish , he gets nervous when he heard the toilet being flushed.

Is he epileptic ?

seamus

Words like "doomed" and "destined" imply an inevitable outcome.

Of course there are people who are extraverted, who are naturally more confident when chatting up the opposite sex, and/or who tend to get involved in pursuits which lend themselves to meeting loads of people. And for them it'll appear effortless because the opportunities present themselves.

And then you'll have introverted people who have difficulty communicating when they do communicate, and tend to be rather solitary individuals. And they're naturally going to find far fewer opportunities to meet someone.

But they're not "doomed", they just have to identify what kind of person they are and compensate for it; force themselves to get out and get involved in things. Go to things which build self-confidence and conversation skills, like toastmasters.

The world has never been a more open place to meet people with the likes of Tinder and other internet dating around. Anyone who has difficulty is holding themselves back, they're not being held back by circumstances.

Ultimately though no relationship will make you happy or satisfied if you're not happy in yourself.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump wrote: »

Yeah. Just think of all the nagging and whinging and moaning you could be getting but are missing out on


:pac:

The odd thing is that I only really experience this from women I'm in a formal relationship with, or simply female friends... but when I'm dating, I don't get any of that.

I do wonder how you're setting up your relationships with women, if that's the experience you're getting. The few times I've met women like that, I've known to steer clear of them. What's the point of being with someone if you're not enjoying it?

Plopsu

TG1 wrote: »

like now when I'm eating chocolate for dinner in my pyjamas,

Quite frankly, I'm disgusted by this. Chocolate is a breakfast food! I hope you're ashamed of yourself