Right, so I can smell my own balls

Hammer89

Firstly, I'm not bragging here. I'm not saying 'I'm so flexible and in-shape that I can get my nose anywhere near my balls; I'm saying it's so f*cking hot that I can smell both of them just sitting here, on this leather couch, with my t-shirt off, which means the bit of the sofa I'm sitting against is wetter than a woman at a Weeknd concert.

This is what we've been waiting all year for, is it? I do like the sun - don't get me wrong - but what I don't like is being a smelly c*nt for the rest of the day.

Obviously a shower remedies this, right? Right, but it's only a temporary solution because the physical exertion involved in drying yourself is enough to get the sweat glands pumping again and those balls and that gooch you've been scrubbing for 15 minutes is going to get wafty again imminently. In fact, no movement is even necessary to start sweating again.

Time to invest in an air conditioner, or one of those handheld yokes with the propellers.

J Mysterio

Thanks for sharing.

fxotoole

In before the lock

Hammer89

fxotoole wrote: »

In before the lock

I've seen more offensive titles. At least mine is succinct.

super_furry

Put on some trousers. If your balls smell so bad that you can smell them through boxers and trousers, seek medical help.

take a shower you smelly bollix!

One eyed Jack

No advice H but jesus that made me laugh :pac:

Conservatory

I have a top notch BMI score. I sweat very little. Once the doctor checked my BMI and said “woah bang on the money”.

I was going to explain that money had nothing to do with it but he was so excited at hitting the perfect score I didn’t want to put a downer on the moment.

There will be a fair few bugs going around in the heat too but my immune system is good and robust so I’m enjoying the weather.

Hopes and prayers op.

Hitman3000

I'm guessing you're single and the thread title is the reason.

Hammer89

super_furry wrote: »

Put on some trousers. If your balls smell so bad that you can smell them through boxers and trousers, seek medical help.

I'm wearing football shorts.

Hitman3000

Hammer89 wrote:

Time to invest in an air conditioner, or one of those handheld yokes with the propellers.

Handheld yoke with propellers near the meat and two veg? What could go wrong.....

Blazer

Hey noob. Just take a shower and air dry ffs.

Cupcake_Crisis

Spray some antiperspirant on your sack. You’re welcome.

Silent Running

Hammer89 wrote: »

Firstly, I'm not bragging here. I'm not saying 'I'm so flexible and in-shape that I can get my nose anywhere near my balls; I'm saying it's so f*cking hot that I can smell both of them just sitting here, on this leather couch, with my t-shirt off, which means the bit of the sofa I'm sitting against is wetter than a woman at a Weeknd concert.

This is what we've been waiting all year for, is it? I do like the sun - don't get me wrong - but what I don't like is being a smelly c*nt for the rest of the day.

Obviously a shower remedies this, right? Right, but it's only a temporary solution because the physical exertion involved in drying yourself is enough to get the sweat glands pumping again and those balls and that gooch you've been scrubbing for 15 minutes is going to get wafty again imminently. In fact, no movement is even necessary to start sweating again.

Time to invest in an air conditioner, or one of those handheld yokes with the propellers.

I'm miles away and I can smell them from here.

Dial Hard

Conservatory wrote:

I have a top notch BMI score. I sweat very little. Once the doctor checked my BMI and said “woah bang on the moneyâ€.

You're very strangley fixated on your BMI.

Feisar

shower in tepid water, hang out with your wang out for 15 mins before a light towel dry. Invest in decent jocks, the sweat wicking type.

Top tip: Make sure and pull back the foreskin when washing.

Hammer89

Dial Hard wrote: »

You're very strangley fixated on your BMI.

Mine is through the roof at the moment.

BMI stands for Ball Musk Index right?

Yer Da sells Avon

Feisar wrote: »

hang out with your wang out for 15 mins before a light towel dry.

Trust me - do not use this 15 minutes as an opportunity to go to the shops. Political correctness gone mad. It was flaccid, FFS.

ARNOLD J RIMMER

Are you only noticing now what people have talking about behind your back for years?

TheMilkyPirate

Get a shower ye scruff

Malayalam

Tiger Balm will fix that. I promise.

Cody montana

How vulgar.

hairyslug

Lop the whole lot off, it's the only solution.

Vita nova

Hammer89 wrote: »

Firstly, I'm not bragging here. I'm not saying 'I'm so flexible and in-shape that I can get my nose anywhere near my balls; I'm saying it's so f*cking hot that I can smell both of them just sitting here, on this leather couch, with my t-shirt off, which means the bit of the sofa I'm sitting against is wetter than a woman at a Weeknd concert.

This is what we've been waiting all year for, is it? I do like the sun - don't get me wrong - but what I don't like is being a smelly c*nt for the rest of the day.

Obviously a shower remedies this, right? Right, but it's only a temporary solution because the physical exertion involved in drying yourself is enough to get the sweat glands pumping again and those balls and that gooch you've been scrubbing for 15 minutes is going to get wafty again imminently. In fact, no movement is even necessary to start sweating again.

Time to invest in an air conditioner, or one of those handheld yokes with the propellers.

Not worth getting AC for the few really hot days we have in the year.

Those handheld fans are a quite versatile, could be used to blow away the testicular odour, cool yourself or even to blow cigarette smoke away à la Larry Hagman (J.R Ewing) anti-smoking ads in the 80s.

PARlance

Feisar wrote: »

shower in tepid water, hang out with your wang out for 15 mins before a light towel dry. Invest in decent jocks, the sweat wicking type.

Top tip: Make sure and pull back the foreskin when washing.

Sure how else would you have your shower w***

Panthro

Hang one of those smelly Christmas tree things off your balls. You know the yokes people use to make their cars smell fresh.
Jobs a good un

Roger Hassenforder

You sound confident can smell "both" balls.
Is there a different note from lefty V rightly? Cod

Could the hum be from just one?

.red.

https://www.boots.ie/below-the-belt-grooming-for-men-fresh-and-dry-balls-active-75ml-10222668

I can recommend the above, my job involves wearing trousers and a lot of walking/rushing outside and in this weather swamp balls are a real thing, that stuff is a godsend.

Star Bingo

TheMilkyPirate wrote: »

Get a shower ye scruff

What’s the point when you just get instantly wet again after dryin off what a way to start the day!

Kimbot

MOD Seriously OP nobody needed to find out that your balls stink so no more threads like this again.