advice

I'm not much of a poster in these parts but I thought I'd get the input of some of the most brilliant minds on boards....

recently engaged and very happy. I know I landed on my feet with herself. I can go on about her all evening... however we've been talking about the big day and what not. I'm a simple man. I've a few close friends, real friends, the type I could ask anything of and be confident of the fact they'd help me.. you get the picture.

anyway... making mock lists for the big day and I realise that my other half has said that her mother will be bringing this person and that person... basically her mother has invited more people than I have. now I know our mums might want to bring close friends, but I think her mum is taking the you know what... "this person must come, that person IS COMING..

other half thinks I'm being a bit of an dick.... but this is crazy... how do I put an end to this without coming across as a kill joy?

advice welcome....

Sleeper12

Who is paying for the wedding? If the answer is you & your future wife then you both sit down & decide how many she can invite. There has to be a bit of give & take but give you mum in law a number & let her decide who to bring matching that number

eeguy

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Who is paying for the wedding? If the answer is you & your future wife then you both sit down & decide how many she can invite. There has to be a bit of give & take but give you mum in law a number & let her decide who to bring matching that number

For my uncle's wedding, his mother wanted to invite her entire golf team.
Put your foot down early. If you don't directly known someone or they're not a plus one, then their not invited or they're paying for their own meal.

Ronin247

Tell your other half the number of people her mother is allocated. Ie. Your mother can ask 25 people. End of. If your intended objects then in 20 years she will be exactly the same as her mother and you can reevaluate your getting married.

The other option is to say " your mother can invite whomever she is paying for "


Or the third option is to blast her with........

tony1kenobi

Your other half thinks you’re being a dick so that’s your first taste of the rest of your life.

Only thing left is to tell the mother in law to stick her guest list up hole.

You are never going to be happy ever again.

Weddings forum might be better ? They have these type of threads a lot

Fart

Uninvite the mother in law.

Poor Uncle Tom

Honestly, your MIL needs to be told, by you, that she is getting an invitation to the wedding not sending them out.

Everybody's reaction to that will direct your future, you know exactly what I'm saying.

Samuel T. Cogley

Make sure she has an 'unfortunate accident' sooner rather than later.

a very cool kid

Don't mind all the previous posts.

Its not worth falling out with your MIL over. She's for life your wedding is only one day. Your wedding will be such a blur anyway it won't make a difference to you really.

If numbers vs money is a problem you and your OH need to be open and honest with her - I doubt she expects you are made of money!

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

barrier86 wrote: »

I'm not much of a poster in these parts but I thought I'd get the input of some of the most brilliant minds on boards....

recently engaged and very happy. I know I landed on my feet with herself. I can go on about her all evening... however we've been talking about the big day and what not. I'm a simple man. I've a few close friends, real friends, the type I could ask anything of and be confident of the fact they'd help me.. you get the picture.

anyway... making mock lists for the big day and I realise that my other half has said that her mother will be bringing this person and that person... basically her mother has invited more people than I have. now I know our mums might want to bring close friends, but I think her mum is taking the you know what... "this person must come, that person IS COMING..

other half thinks I'm being a bit of an dick.... but this is crazy... how do I put an end to this without coming across as a kill joy?

advice welcome....

Have you tried putting your finger deep inside your ass?

Pauliedragon

Seduce the mother in law. Then she'll be too embarased to show up to the wedding so her friends won't need to be there.

thunderdog

your wedding, your day. If anyone wants to invite people on your behalf, they can come to the afters.

Don’t let anyone run the day for you. Have your close friends and family there. Your future wife will understand

Hector Bellend

Put the foot down.

If her oul one is like this at the wedding, imagine what she;ll be like afterwards

Donald Trump

Simples.

If she wants to be entitled to invite everyone then you'll have to ride her mother too

tobsey

The people she wants invited will pay for themselves. That generation will generally put about 200 in a card so they’ll pay their own way at a wedding. You pay the same for clothes, flowers, photographers, band etc. regardless of how many you invite. They’re the things you need to pay for. The guests will pay for themselves at a wedding so unless you really have an issue with some of the people she wants to invite, I’d say just put them all at the same table and give them a day out. It won’t make a bit of difference to you on the day.

McMurphy

Is the father of the bride still paying for the wedding still a thing?

If it is (in your case), let her tear away.


I'm lucky enough to have probably the best in laws on earth, they let us save like crazy , only to break the news that they were going to foot the bill a few weeks beforehand.

Thankfully I didn't create any fuss at all when they started inviting all in sundry to our big day.

Roger Hassenforder

tobsey wrote: »

The people she wants invited will pay for themselves. That generation will generally put about 200 in a card so they’ll pay their own way at a wedding. You pay the same for clothes, flowers, photographers, band etc. regardless of how many you invite. They’re the things you need to pay for. The guests will pay for themselves at a wedding so unless you really have an issue with some of the people she wants to invite, I’d say just put them all at the same table and give them a day out. It won’t make a bit of difference to you on the day.

This
You might even make a profit from the fcukers.

Donald Trump

eeguy wrote: »

For my uncle's wedding, his mother wanted to invite her entire golf team.
Put your foot down early. If you don't directly known someone or they're not a plus one, then their not invited or they're paying for their own meal.

Q.
Why did she need her entire golf team there?


A.
In case your uncle got his a hole off in one

AllForIt

barrier86 wrote: »

I'm a simple man. I've a few close friends, real friends, the type I could ask anything of and be confident of the fact they'd help me.. you get the picture.

A 'few' close friends is a lot and is all one could wish for. It's a lot more than most ppl really have.

anyway... making mock lists for the big day and I realise that my other half has said that her mother will be bringing this person and that person... basically her mother has invited more people than I have. now I know our mums might want to bring close friends, but I think her mum is taking the you know what... "this person must come, that person IS COMING..

I despair of all this importance over a wedding ceremony. The 'big' wedding event. It's just so stupid. Most ppl find being invited to a wedding a chore if they are not part of the extended family and if they are if they have to travel to get to the event. I really wish society would change their attitude to weedings cause it's just so silly.

lulu1

TBH I think most mother of the bride's are like this. I'ts a big day for them seeing their daughter get married and i know I would want the whole world to see mine when her turn come's .

I know it's your day too op and maybe you haven't got as family and friends on your side as the bride but I would just go with the flow unless the numbers were really getting out of control.

Someone suggested asking the mothers friends to the after's but somehow I dont think that would suit the mother

Cee-Jay-Cee

Most likely these are people who had your MIL invited to their sons and daughters weddings and she’s just returning the favour.

Like someone else said, it’ll cost you nothing as most people will give a gift that’ll more than cover the cost of having them there so don’t sweat it, the more the merrier. Enjoy your day.