How they met.

Individuals almost glued to the phone, use it for almost everything, going somewhere new use google maps, going to a restaurant check it out online first whole lives lived through social media, yet a lot of individual feel a stigma to admitting they met their other half online.

What is the reason for this?

Ubbquittious

Not realising that the stigma should instead be for being glued to your phone the whole day

crashplan

I met my better half online 8 years ago, married 5, no stigma attached to admitting where we met. I have met many people who have met online and freely admit it.

NIMAN

Anti-social people can be socialable online.

2forjoy

But if opposites attract , and you meet online . You are meeting a match , not an oppposite

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

seachto7

NIMAN wrote: »

Anti-social people can be socialable online.

I don't go to pubs, never really did, even for social pints, and when I did, it was never to meet someone. Looking likely, in my early 40s that I'll be single again, and no idea whether to go back online or try some different avenues. The idea of dating in my 40s is something that I am not looking forward to. Lots of people with baggage and fruit cakes! (me included more than likely)
Sometimes I think joining meetup groups is too obvious. As in, everyone is in the group for the same thing, but won't say so..... :(
Online can be a good thing for people who don't like to go out.

seachto7

seachto7 wrote: »

I don't go to pubs, never really did, even for social pints, and when I did, it was never to meet someone. Looking likely, in my early 40s that I'll be single again, and no idea whether to go back online or try some different avenues. The idea of dating in my 40s is something that I am not looking forward to. Lots of people with baggage and fruit cakes! (me included more than likely)
Sometimes I think joining meetup groups is too obvious. As in, everyone is in the group for the same thing, but won't say so..... :(
Online can be a good thing for people who don't like to go out.

What about going to a meetup and see what happens without second guessing people and questioning their motivations for being there just see what happens plus anyway what so wrong with someone saying they would like to meet someone being upfront about it, I know there is a huge stigma to appearing needy the absolute horror of being honest enough to admitting to being lonely!!

Ita more than 10 years ago when I was on a dating site the usual reaction was one of, is it not dangerous, fair play to you, and its a bit weird, surely at this stage meeting online has become normalised somewhat.

Cee-Jay-Cee

mariaalice wrote: »

Individuals almost glued to the phone, use it for almost everything, going somewhere new use google maps, going to a restaurant check it out online first whole lives lived through social media, yet a lot of individual feel a stigma to admitting they met their other half online.

What is the reason for this?

Because they are ashamed to admit that they were unable to meet a person in the normal manner (although I guess online dating has now become more 'normal') but for many of those people, they come from a time when normal was going out to a pub/club, meeting people and talking to them face to face and dating etc etc

myshirt

2forjoy wrote: »

But if opposites attract , and you meet online . You are meeting a match , not an oppposite

Thinly veiled Paula Abdul reference in here. Christ. It's been 30 years. It was a good song butt she is WELL past her best.

misstearheus

Not taboo per se, more a garnered reluctance, because meeting someone out would be my first choice preference rather than online. With online you're never going to have, oh we met in such and such a place, or once it gets into long-term-territory, - both groups of friends slagging about the night we met and how events un-folded and look at us now and all this! Gosh when ya think of it too, loooooooooooooooooooooads have met online and married!! Is there anyone even meeting people out anymore?!?

With that said, I don't mind Online either. It's a dare I say natural possibly necessary part of life anymore I think! Because people go out with different groups of friends now for different reasons, it's not like it used to be, just out find someone, it's more about maybe Dinner or catching up with friends I think as everyone is so busy these days.

But actually, on re-thinking, it's only very very minor! Shure it doesn't matter a bit really where a Couple met so long as they're happy out!

ygolometsipe

mariaalice wrote: »

What is the reason for this?

Most people under the age of 30 grew up without the internet. If you spent
all your time looking at the box or playing video games you were branded weird.

When the first home computers were rolled out, people thought the same, your weird to be alone looking at a box, its not normal and in a way that might be slightly true.

Then again what is normal? Social norms are designed to keep people in-line and slightly miserable (makes us better consumers).

If you met online, it could be interpreted that you were both weird and found each other in a weird unconventionally way.

The important part to remember... Its infinitely better to be considered weird and be genuinely happy than to be considered normal and be genuinely unhappy.

Life sure does love to screw with our little heads tho

AllForIt

Any long term partners I've had were always met socially.

I've never been in the slightest bit interested in anyone I met online. This doesn't prove anything of course, it's just the way the cookie crumbled.

Of course it could work out and does work out for some. I recall back in the day when we were still on dial-up couples got married after meting each other online and they would be invited on chat shows to talk about it. I don't know what has happened since that there is such a stigma about it now.

Also this idea that one must have story about how one met their partner strikes me as just a load of fluffy romantic nonsense.

Yer Da sells Avon

I think it's a hangover from the days when the internet was generally distrusted and seen as something mainly used by nerds, weirdos and paedophiles.

freshpopcorn

I don't think their is any stigma about meeting your other half online as long as you.
Don't meet them in a remote area.
Give them all your bank details before meeting them.
They are above the age of consent.
Their profile looks real.

Capt'n Midnight

would there be any stigma involved if they met because they both had Padre Pio car stickers ?

andekwarhola

Can't understand why there would be any stigma attached to it, surely.

I met my wife before online dating was a thing but who cares how you meet good people except that you do meet them?

I met my now wife (for about an hour) when I was drunk in a nightclub, arranged a date for the following week and could only vaguely remember what she looked like before the date. We're together 16 years and have two kids.

How is that any more elegant a meeting than finding somebody on a forum or dating app?

In fact, the online thing is probably even better in some ways. You presumably interact with a wider range of people and, excluding the likes of Tinder, your initial interaction is probably more social and intellectual than just setting eyes on somebody in a pub.

AMKC

ygolometsipe wrote: »

Most people under the age of 30 grew up without the internet. If you spent
all your time looking at the box or playing video games you were branded weird.

When the first home computers were rolled out, people thought the same, your weird to be alone looking at a box, its not normal and in a way that might be slightly true.

Then again what is normal? Social norms are designed to keep people in-line and slightly miserable (makes us better consumers).

If you met online, it could be interpreted that you were both weird and found each other in a weird unconventionally way.

The important part to remember... Its infinitely better to be considered weird and be genuinely happy than to be considered normal and be genuinely unhappy.

Life sure does love to screw with our little heads tho

Most people under the age of 30 grew up without the internet. If you spent
all your time looking at the box or playing video games you were branded weird.

I disagree. I am nearly 40 and have been using the internet since the late 90's. Sure it was very slow and dial up but it was there.
Now if you said over the age of 30 I agree.

I disagree. I do not know or have never heard of anyone branded weird for wanting to play a Sega Megadrive or a Playstation. TV has been popular for at least 50 years now so I do not see anything weird about that either.

Poor Uncle Tom

I met the other half before there was an online, Relationship still ended, there's only one guarantee, a relationship is about the people not the phones or internet.... just my take though, older single man........

Try_harder

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

would there be any stigma involved if they met because they both had Padre Pio car stickers ?

Stigma? Stigmata maybe... :pac:

Summer wind

I’m single at the moment and if I was to meet someone it wouldn’t matter to me if I met them online or not. As long as they make me smile and are decent who cares.

Mister Vain

mariaalice wrote: »

What about going to a meetup and see what happens without second guessing people and questioning their motivations for being there just see what happens plus anyway what so wrong with someone saying they would like to meet someone being upfront about it, I know there is a huge stigma to appearing needy the absolute horror of being honest enough to admitting to being lonely!!

Ita more than 10 years ago when I was on a dating site the usual reaction was one of, is it not dangerous, fair play to you, and its a bit weird, surely at this stage meeting online has become normalised somewhat.

This is especially true in Ireland where its difficult to express an interest in someone without coming across too forward. Actually telling someone you like them is too full on. It's a stigma that is much worse than meeting someone online.