Wedding and Hen Party Abroad

c6ysaphjvqw41k

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woodchuck

At least she asked you for advice. If she chooses to ignore your advice, she only has herself to blame if/when people decline the invite.

It all sounds a bit hypothetical atm anyway though; I can't imagine a hen party abroad will be a priority for her once the baby comes along! If it comes up in conversation again though, reiterate what you've already said and highlight that you yourself probably won't be able to afford to go if she has it abroad.

GingerLily

Tell her you can't go and leave it at that - don't even go into details, she knows she's being a spoiled brat.

c6ysaphjvqw41k

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Jimmy Dags

The boom is back.

Ghekko

She knows your views on it so she shouldn't be too surprised or annoyed that you aren't going. I think it's a bit much to expect people to go abroad for hen and wedding so I would also give the hen a miss.

splinter65

Edward Rotten Hermit wrote: »

I posted before about a friend of mine getting married in Ibiza in June and it was working out really expensive to go.

Soon after that thread she actually ended up postponing the wedding till next year because shes now pregnant. They are going to go with June next year instead I think, but gave up on Ibiza and lost their deposits because it was working out too expensive. They are going with mainland Spain now. I was delighted actually because the nearest airport has daily flights...and a lot cheaper!

However now theirs talk of a hen party in Malaga. Not sure when she plans to do it considering shes pregnant. Maybe next spring? Anyway when I saw her last she was asking me my thoughts on a hen abroad vs Ireland because my hen was the last we had and she was looking for advice. I said if the wedding is abroad probably have the hen in Ireland because not everyone will have the money for going abroad. She said it was working out the same to go to Malaga as it was for a weekend in Ireland.

I suggested that some people might not even have the money for that and might want the option of 1 night only, like for mine people could have stayed the 1 or 2 nights and some did opt for the 1 because they didn't have much money. I think mine was 90 for 1 night and 120 for 2 including the dinner and activities.

Turns out she is going with abroad anyway, 3 nights to Malaga for €200 flight and accommodation. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that this is too much to be asking from people when they have to go abroad for the wedding too? It's abroad so they have no option but to go for the full or nothing now. Where is she looking at in Ireland that its costing the same, €200, for the weekend. Is that really expensive or was mine just cheap? Girls in work saying €150 max for a hen. I'm not even sure what dates shes looking at yet so who knows that price might change too.

And abroad wont just be €200. There is bags, transfers, breakfasts, dinners, airport parking etc. My hen had dinner included both nights so we only had to worry about breakfast.

Am I being unreasonable? I think I'm going to just have to tell her I cant go.

Wish her a happy hens weekend and tell her it’s outside your budget and DO NOT THINK ONE MORE THING ABOUT IT!!

Teyla Emmagan

Edward Rotten Hermit wrote:

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I think that's totally unreasonable, there is no way I would be going. You are absolutely right, all most people want in terms of a hen are one night out, preferably involving sleeping in their own bed at the end of the evening. It's terrible to ask any more of people, especially when they have to travel for your wedding!! But your friend is clearly just all about herself. You have said your piece so just wait until the actual invite is issued and decline gracefully.

Toots

Just say you can't go and don't feel bad about it. I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find she's less keen about going abroad for 2 nights when she has a new baby. How old will the baby be when the hen is on? I know with my first he was at least a year old before I would have been comfortable leaving him overnight.

Sinister Kid

My mate wanted to go away to Spain for her hens, which we are doing this Friday.
I suggested doing a night out at home too, just drinks in town, that way if people didn't want to come on the away hen they could still have a night out.

Mollyb60

Funnily enough I had a discussion about this with a friend (lets call her Jane) at the weekend. She's getting married next year and is going to Marbella for her hen in the middle of July (2019). When I told Jane that I might not go she got all huffy and started complaining about how it wasn't that much money and wouldn't I like the holiday anyway? WTAF is wrong with people who think like this? There's a friend of a friend getting married in Sicily the same month next year and another friend has said that she can't afford to go to both in the same month. Jane was absolutely raging that she would have the audacity to choose the wedding over her hen. She said something along the lines of: "if you don't go to the hen, you're not invited to the wedding". I was gobsmacked. So that kinda decided it for me. If I get 'dis-invited' from the wedding as a result, oh well.

I know I'll probably have FOMO while they're all away but there are multiple reasons for why I don't want to go:
1) As mentioned above, it is NEVER just €200 for the hen, it's food, drink, bits and bobs, parking. They all add up. It will be massively expensive.
2) There's a reason I don't go on holidays in the summer. It's because I hate the heat.
3) Everyone else going will happily drink themselves into a stupor and lie by the pool all day. That is my idea of a nightmare.
4) It's not just one night, it's 3.
5) I would rather spend my money on a holiday that I would actually choose to go on. I've been to Marbella already, it wasn't that great.
6) Yes I did go to Marbella in August before on holiday. That was a surprise 30th birthday trip for my twin sisters. It was a once off deal. For.My.Family. I like you and all, but just not quite this much.
7) There's talk of going to a beach club for a day. Has anyone ever been to one before? They are cringeworthy. Full of knobs pretending their rich and dancing around with their cocktails. It's embarrassing.
8) And this is petty of me, I know. But I didn't want a hen 'do' when I was getting married. Myself and Mr Molly had a 'N*A*S*H' party (Not A Stag or Hen). It was literally just a dinner in Belfast, with a few drinks in a local bar afterwards and a few board games back at our house. Not a single one of my friends from down home came up. Not one. Only my 2 sisters and friends from Belfast were there. So no, you can't make the effort to drive to Belfast for a night? I won't be going to Marbella for you.

Sorry for hijacking your thread OP. :rolleyes:

salmocab

Buddy of mine tried that years back wedding in Spain and stag somewhere on the continent too )can’t remember where) best man just said that’s not happening and that was it, down the country for a night or two.
Sometimes somebody needs to reign them in.

GingerLily

Mollyb60 wrote: »

Funnily enough I had a discussion about this with a friend (lets call her Jane) at the weekend. She's getting married next year and is going to Marbella for her hen in the middle of July (2019). When I told Jane that I might not go she got all huffy and started complaining about how it wasn't that much money and wouldn't I like the holiday anyway? WTAF is wrong with people who think like this? There's a friend of a friend getting married in Sicily the same month next year and another friend has said that she can't afford to go to both in the same month. Jane was absolutely raging that she would have the audacity to choose the wedding over her hen. She said something along the lines of: "if you don't go to the hen, you're not invited to the wedding". I was gobsmacked. So that kinda decided it for me. If I get 'dis-invited' from the wedding as a result, oh well.

I know I'll probably have FOMO while they're all away but there are multiple reasons for why I don't want to go:
1) As mentioned above, it is NEVER just €200 for the hen, it's food, drink, bits and bobs, parking. They all add up. It will be massively expensive.
2) There's a reason I don't go on holidays in the summer. It's because I hate the heat.
3) Everyone else going will happily drink themselves into a stupor and lie by the pool all day. That is my idea of a nightmare.
4) It's not just one night, it's 3.
5) I would rather spend my money on a holiday that I would actually choose to go on. I've been to Marbella already, it wasn't that great.
6) Yes I did go to Marbella in August before on holiday. That was a surprise 30th birthday trip for my twin sisters. It was a once off deal. For.My.Family. I like you and all, but just not quite this much.
7) There's talk of going to a beach club for a day. Has anyone ever been to one before? They are cringeworthy. Full of knobs pretending their rich and dancing around with their cocktails. It's embarrassing.
8) And this is petty of me, I know. But I didn't want a hen 'do' when I was getting married. Myself and Mr Molly had a 'N*A*S*H' party (Not A Stag or Hen). It was literally just a dinner in Belfast, with a few drinks in a local bar afterwards and a few board games back at our house. Not a single one of my friends from down home came up. Not one. Only my 2 sisters and friends from Belfast were there. So no, you can't make the effort to drive to Belfast for a night? I won't be going to Marbella for you.

Sorry for hijacking your thread OP. :rolleyes:

I thoroughly enjoyed your rant!!

kitten_k

Mollyb60 wrote: »

Funnily enough I had a discussion about this with a friend (lets call her Jane) at the weekend. She's getting married next year and is going to Marbella for her hen in the middle of July (2019). When I told Jane that I might not go she got all huffy and started complaining about how it wasn't that much money and wouldn't I like the holiday anyway? WTAF is wrong with people who think like this? There's a friend of a friend getting married in Sicily the same month next year and another friend has said that she can't afford to go to both in the same month. Jane was absolutely raging that she would have the audacity to choose the wedding over her hen. She said something along the lines of: "if you don't go to the hen, you're not invited to the wedding". I was gobsmacked. So that kinda decided it for me. If I get 'dis-invited' from the wedding as a result, oh well.

I know I'll probably have FOMO while they're all away but there are multiple reasons for why I don't want to go:
1) As mentioned above, it is NEVER just €200 for the hen, it's food, drink, bits and bobs, parking. They all add up. It will be massively expensive.
2) There's a reason I don't go on holidays in the summer. It's because I hate the heat.
3) Everyone else going will happily drink themselves into a stupor and lie by the pool all day. That is my idea of a nightmare.
4) It's not just one night, it's 3.
5) I would rather spend my money on a holiday that I would actually choose to go on. I've been to Marbella already, it wasn't that great.
6) Yes I did go to Marbella in August before on holiday. That was a surprise 30th birthday trip for my twin sisters. It was a once off deal. For.My.Family. I like you and all, but just not quite this much.
7) There's talk of going to a beach club for a day. Has anyone ever been to one before? They are cringeworthy. Full of knobs pretending their rich and dancing around with their cocktails. It's embarrassing.
8) And this is petty of me, I know. But I didn't want a hen 'do' when I was getting married. Myself and Mr Molly had a 'N*A*S*H' party (Not A Stag or Hen). It was literally just a dinner in Belfast, with a few drinks in a local bar afterwards and a few board games back at our house. Not a single one of my friends from down home came up. Not one. Only my 2 sisters and friends from Belfast were there. So no, you can't make the effort to drive to Belfast for a night? I won't be going to Marbella for you.

Sorry for hijacking your thread OP. :rolleyes:

You should have thrown a Molly at her :P:P:P

Mollyb60

GingerLily wrote: »

I thoroughly enjoyed your rant!!

Lol thanks, didn't realise I was that angry about it till I started typing.

kitten_k wrote: »

You should have thrown a Molly at her :P:P:P

I should've but she was already put out with me coz I told her I didn't want her "special job" of lighting 100 candles in the church the morning of the wedding. "Coz you're always early for stuff anyway". Gee thanks love. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

kitten_k

Some people are just so entitled!!

Mollyb60

She honest to god thought she was doing me a favour by letting me be involved in her big day. You have to laugh at Bridezillas!

aquinn

GingerLily wrote: »

I thoroughly enjoyed your rant!!

Me too. Good for you. Jane sounds like a PITA.

SarahS2013

WTF is wrong with people?!

Most of our wedding party is from Dublin - so we're having our hen and stag in Dublin (no need for guests to pay for overnight accommodation and more people coming as it's in town that would never have come on a night away). We're also having a Saturday Dublin wedding to save people the hassle of time off work and accommodation costs. Some people seem to switch to "selfish" mode when they're planning.

woodchuck

SarahS2013 wrote: »

WTF is wrong with people?!

Most of our wedding party is from Dublin - so we're having our hen and stag in Dublin (no need for guests to pay for overnight accommodation and more people coming as it's in town that would never have come on a night away). We're also having a Saturday Dublin wedding to save people the hassle of time off work and accommodation costs. Some people seem to switch to "selfish" mode when they're planning.

I cannot thank this post enough.

SarahS2013

woodchuck wrote: »

I cannot thank this post enough.

Aww shucks :):o:)

c6ysaphjvqw41k

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SarahS2013

Good choice!

Ghekko

Maybe if a few more told her they won't be going she'd reign herself in. Don't feel one bit bad.

splinter65

Ghekko wrote: »

Maybe if a few more told her they won't be going she'd reign herself in. Don't feel one bit bad.

These people are terrifying once they get a bit of power! It’s inexplicable!