Let's talk about Saggart

Hammer89

I'll hold my hands up if I'm wrong here, but is there any real evidence that this place exists? Yes I'm well aware the Luas goes there, and that there's signage for it on the motorway, but has anyone actually stayed on the Luas that long, or followed the signage, to verify its existence?

I never hear it referenced - "yeah I just met the lads in Saggart for a few" - and I've never actually met someone from there. I wouldn't know the general accent that the so-called Saggart locals have, nor could I tell you about any places of interest.

One quick Google search will throw up images that resemble pretty much every village in Ireland - there's a Spar, a Post Office and a pub - and there's a fake Facebook account for The Saggart Village Residents' Association. Here's a post from 2014: "We have lots of visitors to Saggart this bank holiday weekend. Wouldn’t it be lovely if there was a village green or public amenity for them to enjoy in the centre of our village?" Wouldn't it be lovely if there was a village full stop? Sure, but there's not.

As I said, I'm happy to be wrong but not sure I am.

Badly Drunk Boy

The mother of a ex of mine was originally from there. Apparently. I've never ventured there myself.

pjohnson

Its just before Mordor I think, Leitrim to the east and Westeros to the south,

verycool

pjohnson wrote: »

Its just before Mordor I think, Leitrim to the east and Westeros to the south,

*followed by the Big Bang Theory laugh track

kneemos

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1onEXtqSmty9_gHZoWtwId8L5frnLmcE8/view?usp=drivesdk

rickis tache

it's my favourite cop show.....sorry I have a lisp.

Chancer3001

Not another religion bashing thread

verycool

kneemos wrote: »

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1onEXtqSmty9_gHZoWtwId8L5frnLmcE8/view?usp=drivesdk

SEPT 23 1989

Saggart is the nicest place on the Red Line

D3V!L

I have my eye on a place in Saggart at the moment. When I asked the bank about it I was hushed out the back door and they disabled my account.

riffmongous

Fücking, heading to the brew, heading to get my giro. And I pass this couple of buses at the side of the road. Everybody’s piling off the front and into the one behind. Old folk’ like that, “This is ridiculous. Never used to be like this with the corporation buses.” I was like that, “I see. We’ve got ourselves a breakdown.” I check to see where they’re all heading. ‘Saggart’. And I just pissed myself laughing.]

Riff: “Haa~!”

[Because Saggart’s one of these places I only know from the front of a bus. I’ve never been there. Don’t know what it’s like. Just this pure, mad fabled land that sounds like
a pure, mad egg yolk. So I was watching everybody getting on, trying to show their tickets to the driver. But he wasn’t having it. Just waving them on like that, ‘Alright I know what you’s came from. I can see the bus, what do you think I am, daft?’. And a wee voice in my head says, “Riff, I know you’ve got to get your giro, but the brew’s always going to be there. But this, on the other hand, is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go for it”. So I just went like that…”]

Riff: “Fück it”.

[And I joined the queue. As soon as I do, the driver starts checking people’s tickets. I was like that, “Oh here, forget it”. But I just got pure caught up in the slipstream, belting towards the moment of truth at a hundred mile an hour. Heart pounding. Pulse racing.]

Riff: “What it is is-”

Driver: “On you go, mate.”

Riff: “Cheers.”

[I did it.

So there I was. Bird’s eye view. Whizzing by the brew like that. Ta ta giro, maybe some other day, eh? Because I’m on the bus. To Saggart. Couldn’t believe what I was hearing
in my head, man. Seriously. This was actually happening! But then I thought, hold on. Don’t get too excited. There could be someone looking at the back of your nut right now thinking, “Here, who’s he? He’s not from Saggart. He’s got no business being on this bus. Get his head kicked, man.” I turned round to see if anyone was looking.

Nobody. Got away with it. Just pure got away with the lot of it. So I loosened up, and started chatting. ‘Thought I’d get a wee bit of local knowledge before I got there.

Riff: “So is this ‘bus for Saggart, aye?”

Saggart Passenger: “Aye”

Riff: “I’ve just moved there. Is it any good?”

Saggart Passenger: “Aye, it’s a lovely place. I’ve lived there all my life. Saggart born and bred.”

Riff: “So you’ve never once wondered what Saggart’s like? Mind boggling…”

[Half an hour later I start seeing the signs. Saggart newsagents. Saggart post office. Saggart F.C. Saggart everything. They even had a barber that rhymed with Saggart. “Hair by Les Porter”. What are the chances of that?]

Riff: “Here y’ ‘are. What’s the betting his name used to be Smith, or something, and he just changed it to fit in?”.

Saggart Passenger: “What?”

[Gets to the terminus. Everybody starts piling off. I hit the driver with my charms.]

Riff: “Driver, when do you leave?”

Driver: “5 minutes.”

Riff: “I conked out and missed my stop. Any chance you could print us out a ticket so I can nip off for a fag? Cheers.”

[And I put my first step on to Saggart soil. I was in Saggart. I thought this day would never come. Is it really this easy? Is it really this easy to get the things you want in life? You just need to hold out for it? All of a sudden I just had the urge to go like that, “Here, I’m not from Saggart, I’ve got no business being here”. I was like, “Calm it, Riff. That’s no laughing matter. They’ll tear you to shreds. Now, you’ve got five minutes. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do… in Saggart? …I knew exactly what.

I had to. I had to find out. I couldn’t leave without finding out what this is all about. Bus was a million miles away. I thought, “Riff, you are truly on the outer reaches here, man. Middle of nowhere.” And I went into the great unknown with a Fücking ding; to ask the one big question on everybody’s lips.]

Riff: “Les Porter?”

Les Porter: “Aye?”

Riff: “Has your name always rhymed with Saggart, or did it used to like, be like Smith or something or-?”

[And then I thought, “Riff, you’ve just blown your cover. Big time. ‘Fück you playing at, man? Go. Go!” Got out of there before they started chucking their scissors at us like Ninja stars. Before Big Les scalped us and stuck my head on the wall. Ten seconds to get to that bus man, that’s your lifelife! What does it start doing? It starts moving. I was like that, “No, man!” I felt like giving up. “Here, I’m not from Saggart, I’ve got no business being in Saggart”. Let them finish me off like a pack of mad wolves. But I just kept running for my life like I had Leatherface on my tail. I get to the bus but he wouldn’t let us in. I was like that, “Set up! ‘Whole thing’s a set up. Them that were on that front bus? Actors. Actors! ‘Lot of them, actors.” Door opens and I bolt upstairs. Right under the seat. Didn’t dare poke my head up for the next half hour in case they were going by in a minibus. Gasping to feast on me like a shower of mad zombie pirates.

Picked a moment. Up the road. Up the stairs. In the house. Lock. Lock. Lock. Scary, man. Scary.

But the best day of my life

verycool

riffmongous wrote: »

Fücking, heading to the brew, heading to get my giro.

This isn't the Ross O'Carroll-Kelly thread.

Bredabe

You can always identify it by the smell.
That said it has a great junior school I'm told, and the park is lovely.
Some friends bought out there before the boom, their houses are ageing well and they are happy enough because of the great transport links(tho that may be subjective)


* That said, NOT for me at all.

Hammer89

riffmongous wrote: »

Fücking, heading to the brew, heading to get my giro. And I pass this couple of buses at the side of the road. Everybody’s piling off the front and into the one behind. Old folk’ like that, “This is ridiculous. Never used to be like this with the corporation buses.” I was like that, “I see. We’ve got ourselves a breakdown.” I check to see where they’re all heading. ‘Saggart’. And I just pissed myself laughing.]

Riff: “Haa~!”

[Because Saggart’s one of these places I only know from the front of a bus. I’ve never been there. Don’t know what it’s like. Just this pure, mad fabled land that sounds like
a pure, mad egg yolk. So I was watching everybody getting on, trying to show their tickets to the driver. But he wasn’t having it. Just waving them on like that, ‘Alright I know what you’s came from. I can see the bus, what do you think I am, daft?’. And a wee voice in my head says, “Riff, I know you’ve got to get your giro, but the brew’s always going to be there. But this, on the other hand, is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go for it”. So I just went like that…”]

Riff: “Fück it”.

[And I joined the queue. As soon as I do, the driver starts checking people’s tickets. I was like that, “Oh here, forget it”. But I just got pure caught up in the slipstream, belting towards the moment of truth at a hundred mile an hour. Heart pounding. Pulse racing.]

Riff: “What it is is-”

Driver: “On you go, mate.”

Riff: “Cheers.”

[I did it.

So there I was. Bird’s eye view. Whizzing by the brew like that. Ta ta giro, maybe some other day, eh? Because I’m on the bus. To Saggart. Couldn’t believe what I was hearing
in my head, man. Seriously. This was actually happening! But then I thought, hold on. Don’t get too excited. There could be someone looking at the back of your nut right now thinking, “Here, who’s he? He’s not from Saggart. He’s got no business being on this bus. Get his head kicked, man.” I turned round to see if anyone was looking.

Nobody. Got away with it. Just pure got away with the lot of it. So I loosened up, and started chatting. ‘Thought I’d get a wee bit of local knowledge before I got there.

Riff: “So is this ‘bus for Saggart, aye?”

Saggart Passenger: “Aye”

Riff: “I’ve just moved there. Is it any good?”

Saggart Passenger: “Aye, it’s a lovely place. I’ve lived there all my life. Saggart born and bred.”

Riff: “So you’ve never once wondered what Saggart’s like? Mind boggling…”

[Half an hour later I start seeing the signs. Saggart newsagents. Saggart post office. Saggart F.C. Saggart everything. They even had a barber that rhymed with Saggart. “Hair by Les Porter”. What are the chances of that?]

Riff: “Here y’ ‘are. What’s the betting his name used to be Smith, or something, and he just changed it to fit in?”.

Saggart Passenger: “What?”

[Gets to the terminus. Everybody starts piling off. I hit the driver with my charms.]

Riff: “Driver, when do you leave?”

Driver: “5 minutes.”

Riff: “I conked out and missed my stop. Any chance you could print us out a ticket so I can nip off for a fag? Cheers.”

[And I put my first step on to Saggart soil. I was in Saggart. I thought this day would never come. Is it really this easy? Is it really this easy to get the things you want in life? You just need to hold out for it? All of a sudden I just had the urge to go like that, “Here, I’m not from Saggart, I’ve got no business being here”. I was like, “Calm it, Riff. That’s no laughing matter. They’ll tear you to shreds. Now, you’ve got five minutes. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do… in Saggart? …I knew exactly what.

I had to. I had to find out. I couldn’t leave without finding out what this is all about. Bus was a million miles away. I thought, “Riff, you are truly on the outer reaches here, man. Middle of nowhere.” And I went into the great unknown with a Fücking ding; to ask the one big question on everybody’s lips.]

Riff: “Les Porter?”

Les Porter: “Aye?”

Riff: “Has your name always rhymed with Saggart, or did it used to like, be like Smith or something or-?”

[And then I thought, “Riff, you’ve just blown your cover. Big time. ‘Fück you playing at, man? Go. Go!” Got out of there before they started chucking their scissors at us like Ninja stars. Before Big Les scalped us and stuck my head on the wall. Ten seconds to get to that bus man, that’s your lifelife! What does it start doing? It starts moving. I was like that, “No, man!” I felt like giving up. “Here, I’m not from Saggart, I’ve got no business being in Saggart”. Let them finish me off like a pack of mad wolves. But I just kept running for my life like I had Leatherface on my tail. I get to the bus but he wouldn’t let us in. I was like that, “Set up! ‘Whole thing’s a set up. Them that were on that front bus? Actors. Actors! ‘Lot of them, actors.” Door opens and I bolt upstairs. Right under the seat. Didn’t dare poke my head up for the next half hour in case they were going by in a minibus. Gasping to feast on me like a shower of mad zombie pirates.

Picked a moment. Up the road. Up the stairs. In the house. Lock. Lock. Lock. Scary, man. Scary.

But the best day of my life

What's this? I certainly didn't plagiarise my thoughts.

Hammer89

D3V!L wrote: »

I have my eye on a place in Saggart at the moment. When I asked the bank about it I was hushed out the back door and they disabled my account.

There's a lovely semi-detached place in Carrickstown which I suspect is going very cheap on the basis that it's not 3D and still outside even when you walk in the front door. I suspect it's the same in Saggart.

McMurphy

Jacobs pub do a mean pint of the black stuff.

SEPT 23 1989

Johnny Dogs wrote: »

Jacobs pub do a mean pint of the black stuff.

The piano playing stops when outsiders walk in though

Its not a patch on Naul. Naul is Dublin's hidden gem

VainHard Bendix

If Saggart truly exists, then how can Rathcoole also exist?
Get out of that one.

How Soon Is Now

I live 5 mins from Saggart village it exists alright.
Family live in Rathcoole fairly sure its real also!!

D3V!L

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

I live 5 mins from Saggart village it exists alright.
Family live in Rathcoole fairly sure its real also!!

Stop making stuff up !! You're not kiddin anyone.

D3V!L

Next thing someone will say that Longford also exists !!

Talk about fake news :rolleyes:

Wabbit Ears

Deleted User wrote: »

Its not a patch on Naul. Naul is Dublin's hidden gem

THANK YOU!!
I'm not the only one who thinks the naul is a made up place like narnia or mordor or, apparently, saggart.

MikeyTaylor

Let's talk bout Saggart baby,
Right next to Tallaght baby,
Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things,
That may be,
Let's talk abouuut Saggart!

Hammer89

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

I live 5 mins from Saggart village it exists alright.

You live five minutes from a giant erect photograph of a generic Irish village.

How Soon Is Now

Hammer89 wrote: »

You live five minutes from a giant erect photograph of a generic Irish village.

It comes to life every now and again!