I'm 28 and I feel like I haven't achieved much due to anxiety.

roro1990

I'm 28 and I'm fed up with being so negative about my life. I have suffered from anxiety for years which has negatively impacted me in many ways, and my brain is wired to just be unhappy and downbeat all the time. It is exhausting.

Objectively, I've probably not done all that bad in life, particularly considering my anxiety disorders. I have a degree, I've travelled a fair bit on my own to far-flung places, I can cook, I have taught myself a musical instrument, I've read lots of books, I even started my own website.

However, any positives are never good enough for me and not one good thing I've objectively achieved provides any feeling of self-esteem. All I feel is crap about the negatives in my life; the things anxiety has caused me to miss out on.

My anxiety manifests as social anxiety and health anxiety. With the social anxiety, I think a lot about how I missed out on the amazing party life that practically everyone else lives in their 20s; lots of sex, nights out, house parties etc. I pretty much didn't go out and party at all between 24-27; maybe 15 nights out in total.

I think about how I work from home due to my anxiety in office environments and how most other people have normal office jobs with plenty of co-workers who they build friendships with and do things together like after-work pints or weekends away.

I think about how despite the cool things I've done, like travelling a lot, much of the time spent travelling was literally on my own and not interacting much beyond ordering food or the odd chat in a bar. I focus on the fact that I only have 2 friends, both of whom I only really drink with and see maybe once every week or two.

This constant stream of negative thinking just means I wake up feeling **** about myself every day. How can I learn to appreciate the positives in my life, the good things I've done? I've been in therapy for a while but no amount of outside input seems to be able to get me to think more objectively or positively about my life. I'm just irritable and unhappy all the time and I give myself no credit for anything. Am I just predisposed to living unhappily?

Dog walker 1234

Your thoughts influence your mood. You have a vicious habit/cycle of negative thoughts which cause you to suffer from anxiety.

Wear a rubber band on your wrist. Each time you think a negative thought, twang the band so that you get a sting. You will feel the pain. This is the signal to tell yourself to stop thinking negatively. Think a positive thought instead.Keep doing this. You will have to persist with this over a number of weeks. Gradually you will, if you persist, reduce the frequency of negative thinking and break the cycle.

Best of luck.

hawley

roro1990 wrote: »

I'm 28 and I'm fed up with being so negative about my life. I have suffered from anxiety for years which has negatively impacted me in many ways, and my brain is wired to just be unhappy and downbeat all the time. It is exhausting.

Objectively, I've probably not done all that bad in life, particularly considering my anxiety disorders. I have a degree, I've travelled a fair bit on my own to far-flung places, I can cook, I have taught myself a musical instrument, I've read lots of books, I even started my own website.

However, any positives are never good enough for me and not one good thing I've objectively achieved provides any feeling of self-esteem. All I feel is crap about the negatives in my life; the things anxiety has caused me to miss out on.

My anxiety manifests as social anxiety and health anxiety. With the social anxiety, I think a lot about how I missed out on the amazing party life that practically everyone else lives in their 20s; lots of sex, nights out, house parties etc. I pretty much didn't go out and party at all between 24-27; maybe 15 nights out in total.

I think about how I work from home due to my anxiety in office environments and how most other people have normal office jobs with plenty of co-workers who they build friendships with and do things together like after-work pints or weekends away.

I think about how despite the cool things I've done, like travelling a lot, much of the time spent travelling was literally on my own and not interacting much beyond ordering food or the odd chat in a bar. I focus on the fact that I only have 2 friends, both of whom I only really drink with and see maybe once every week or two.

This constant stream of negative thinking just means I wake up feeling **** about myself every day. How can I learn to appreciate the positives in my life, the good things I've done? I've been in therapy for a while but no amount of outside input seems to be able to get me to think more objectively or positively about my life. I'm just irritable and unhappy all the time and I give myself no credit for anything. Am I just predisposed to living unhappily?

You seem to have very low self esteem, which is something that is very difficult to improve long term. You have two friends who you meet quite regularly, there are plenty of people out there who have nobody at all, plus you have a job. You need to look at the positives and then put down a few goals that can help you improve your situation in the long term. Maybe something like a job where you have to go into an office for one or two days a week or asking one of your friends to go on holiday with you.

hawley

Dog walker 1234 wrote: »

Your thoughts influence your mood. You have a vicious habit/cycle of negative thoughts which cause you to suffer from anxiety.

Wear a rubber band on your wrist. Each time you think a negative thought, twang the band so that you get a sting. You will feel the pain. This is the signal to tell yourself to stop thinking negatively. Think a positive thought instead.Keep doing this. You will have to persist with this over a number of weeks. Gradually you will, if you persist, reduce the frequency of negative thinking and break the cycle.

Best of luck.

Even writing a few positive pieces on paper and then repeating them just before sleep can help.

ASISEEIT

Read a book ' how to avoid being miserable about anything ' by dr ellis . Free audio version on youtube .
What you have described is quite common but this book will sort it.

aqn29swlgbmiu4

You've been posting this thread every few weeks for over a year at this stage?

Why don't you follow the advice given to you multiple times in multiple other threads?

There's no quick fix!