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Help With Recovering from Depression

  • 04-04-2018 2:38am
    #1
    cq52pl0e9sfv7m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7 ✭


    I'm 17, 18 this Summer. I've been attending CAMHS since I was 12 for depression and anxiety. I'm in fifth year and I'm hoping to do medicine in college. I've been hospitalised five times and I just got discharged from my most recent hospitalisation today. I've never gotten a clear diagnosis but I'm sure I have borderline personality disorder, my therapist has tested me for this and results showed that it was extremely likely that I have bpd, I've been unable to get an official diagnosis because CAMHS refuses to diagnose and treat personality disorders and have told me that I don't have a personality disorder without testing. I usually wouldn't argue with professionals but they've told people I know who've gone through the same CAMHS the same thing and when they went on to adult services they got diagnosed with a personality disorder.

    My depression and derealisation/depersonalisation is really bad, I can't do anything. I can go to school but I can't remember anything or write notes or do homework etc. that's on a good day when I can actually go to school. My plans for the future are honestly looking really bleak, my leaving cert is next year and I never thought these problems would've continued for this long.

    Because I'm under 18, I can't do the group DBT sessions and only the one to one side of the therapy and because of school I can only do therapy once a week or once every two weeks. Because I'm not doing the full DBT programme and I'm not attending sessions that regularly my therapist has said that I probably won't find it very effective. Even the doctors at CAMHS have agreed that DBT would be the best therapy for me, I've previously done CBT and art therapy.
    I have no motivation and I'm terrified to do my leaving cert because I know I'm not ready to do it. I really feel like a lost cause and just giving up on everything. I've tried so many medications and I'm trying my best to do therapy but I just can't handle everything.

    Apologies for the long whiny post. I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me or knew or any alternative route to recovery?


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