Daughter starting big school in Sept

Speedymia

Hi everybody, new to this but I really need advice. So today I dropped my daughter to Easter camp in playschool and the head lady over the playschool she usually isn't there when I drop off, anyway she brought up September and I said my daughter is starting big school and she had a look so I asked why and she just said she's still getting used to her emotions So after Easter break she wants to chat about where to go from here, my daughter was 4 in March and really looking forward to starting big school and she's very smart and well ahead of her time. She does have a stubborn side to her if she doesn't want to do something but is that really a reason to hold her back another year. Obviously I no I'll get more info when I meet with the playschool teacher in 2 weeks but 2 weeks is a long time away and I'm racking my brains over it😣, has anyone every been in a situation like this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

XsApollo

Yea I have.
The preschool said our son wasn’t ready for school he was still young and wasn’t ready.
He was 4 in Feb starting in Sep last year.
We put him in and he’s fine.
I wasn’t going waiting till he was 5 and a half to start school.

Speedymia

Thats good to hear, I'm going to send her still in September Shes so looking forward. The thing that is annoying me the most is I had a parent teacher meeting in January with her head class teacher and she said she was going great. Thanks so much for the quick response 😀

byhookorbycrook

Junior Infants is about much more than the academic side of it. She needs to be ready emotionally and socially too. Can she share, take turns, follow directions/instructions?
When you say she won't do something , what happens then?

Speedymia

Oh I totally understand that, and for her age her sharing skills are quite good and she also doesn't mind been told what to do but also when she's in a group of kids she's not afraid to tell what she thinks they should play but will also play what they want if you get me. Like any other child if she doesn't want to do something she Would either just not talk or have a tantrum but 5 10 mins later it's like nothing has had happened she says her apologies and moves on. personally myself think she will be able for junior infants but was just a bit taken back when I was approached today I suppose like any parent would be.

Speedymia

Speedymia wrote: »

Oh I totally understand that, and for her age her sharing skills are quite good and she also doesn't mind been told what to do but also when she's in a group of kids she's not afraid to tell what she thinks they should play but will also play what they want if you get me. Like any other child if she doesn't want to do something she Would either just not talk or have a tantrum but 5 10 mins later it's like nothing has had happened she says her apologies and moves on. personally myself think she will be able for junior infants but was just a bit taken back when I was approached today I suppose like any parent would be.

Not every child would “just not talk or have a tantrum” if they do not want to do something. I have taught junior infants and generally the only pupils who have had an actual tantrum in class have been those with ASD who were generally overloaded rather than wanting their own way per say.

Speedymia

Well I don't no If she's had a tantrum in playschool as I haven't fully discussed what emotions the teacher was talking about today she never mentioned my daughter having tantrums in school as you would have seen have seen from my original post I've a meeting to discuss it with her after Easter break. I was just responding to the other response I got and yes my 4 year old throws a tantrum if she doesn't get her own way at Home and other 3 and 4 year olds that I no also do if there parents don't give them there own way. My daughter hasn't got ASD and not every 4 year old that has tantrums because they don't want to do something as ASD either, but thanks for your responseðŸ‘

Speedymia

Speedymia wrote: »

Well I don't no If she's had a tantrum in playschool as I haven't fully discussed what emotions the teacher was talking about today she never mentioned my daughter having tantrums in school as you would have seen have seen from my original post I've a meeting to discuss it with her after Easter break. I was just responding to the other response I got and yes my 4 year old throws a tantrum if she doesn't get her own way at Home and other 3 and 4 year olds that I no also do if there parents don't give them there own way. My daughter hasn't got ASD and not every 4 year old that has tantrums because they don't want to do something as ASD either, but thanks for your responseðŸ‘

No need to get so defensive I have years of experience in this field. I did not say your child has ASD I simply said tantrums would not be the norm in any primary junior infant class I have taught in and, as I have taught many children with ASD, I said some pupils with ASD (not all either!) are the only who have any form of tantrum in the classroom. Best of luck getting advice from the professionals working with your child. Take what they say at face value rather than getting defensive as it will not be meant as a negative view of your child if they say the child is not ready.

Speedymia

[Deleted User] wrote: »

No need to get so defensive I have years of experience in this field. I did not say your child has ASD I simply said tantrums would not be the norm in any primary junior infant class I have taught in and, as I have taught many children with ASD, I said some pupils with ASD (not all either!) are the only who have any form of tantrum in the classroom. Best of luck getting advice from the professionals working with your child. Take what they say at face value rather than getting defensive as it will not be meant as a negative view of your child if they say the child is not ready.

I'll take all information on board from the professionals thanks, I just want to clarify I never once said she had a tantrum in playschool. Thanks again for you input and response all information is greatly appreciated.

lawred2

Speedymia wrote: »

Hi everybody, new to this but I really need advice. So today I dropped my daughter to Easter camp in playschool and the head lady over the playschool she usually isn't there when I drop off, anyway she brought up September and I said my daughter is starting big school and she had a look so I asked why and she just said she's still getting used to her emotions So after Easter break she wants to chat about where to go from here, my daughter was 4 in March and really looking forward to starting big school and she's very smart and well ahead of her time. She does have a stubborn side to her if she doesn't want to do something but is that really a reason to hold her back another year. Obviously I no I'll get more info when I meet with the playschool teacher in 2 weeks but 2 weeks is a long time away and I'm racking my brains over it😣, has anyone every been in a situation like this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

4 this March just gone? Seems a bit young to me to be starting school.

None of the schools around here would consider a child who will still be four at the turn of the year.

Speedymia

lawred2 wrote: »

4 this March just gone? Seems a bit young to me to be starting school.

None of the schools around here would consider a child who will still be four at the turn of the year.

Really? Around here 4 and a half is the norm...and anyone I've known that as kept there child till 5 and half have said they've found them to get bored very quickly in class. It's a tough one to call but I think I'll go with my gut instinct.

killanena

If you feel your child is ready then they are ready. At the end of the day you know your child better then anyone else. My daughter turned 2 in February and was already showing signs that she was ready to be potty trained. The group leader in her creche said to wait another 6 months but we started maybe 3 weeks ago and she is already flying it. Looks for her potty before she needs to go and all.

Onthefence

I've waited to start my March girl until this September (when she'll be 5.5 years) for these very reasons. She was neither emotionally nor socially ready. Academically ready though. She was still throwing tantrums, stamping her feet and trying to control every situation until very recently.
There was no evidence of this in preschool/creche but once she got home it often came pouring out. She was exhausted from working so hard to keep everything in check and not actually dealing with situations/people maturely.
As a primary school teacher of 18 years I have seen many little people start when they would have benefitted from another year at home/preschool, but instead they struggled unnecessarily. I have also seen a few who do just fine. I'm not saying your lady will struggle, just sharing my observations with you.
I want my daughter to be one of the oldest in the class (she won't be the oldest) rather than one of the youngest. I know it'll stand to her throughout school.
Good luck with your meeting ☺️

byhookorbycrook

I work in SEN and from what I see down the years, older starting is usually better. As a huge generalisation , girls tend to be more mature than boys at that age, but it's down to the individual child. Try to make an appt to see the playschool leader and see why she thinks that sending your daughter to primary school in September is not a good idea.

Here is one reasonably good check-list to get you thinking about her readiness:

Physical Health and Wellbeing especially fine motor skills ,good health, well fed, well rested, sitting, listening skills, able to grip a pencil, turn pages in a book, build with blocks, able to toilet themselves, feed themselves, dress themselves, some degree of focus to task, blow nose, wipe bottom, wash hands.

Social Competence primary need is to be able to get along with other children, cope with stress of new situations and new learning tasks, have healthy assertiveness, ability to play solo and with other children, have pro-social behaviour.

Emotional Maturity some ability to self manage their emotions, be able to cope with minimal adult contact in large groups, develop friendships, able to separate from parents.

Language and Cognitive Skills follow basic instructions, basic thinking skills.

Communication Skills and General Knowledge basic conversation skills, manners, ability to communicate needs.

Speedymia

killanena wrote: »

If you feel your child is ready then they are ready. At the end of the day you know your child better then anyone else. My daughter turned 2 in February and was already showing signs that she was ready to be potty trained. The group leader in her creche said to wait another 6 months but we started maybe 3 weeks ago and she is already flying it. Looks for her potty before she needs to go and all.

That is very true, we as the parents no what's best for our children. Best of luck with the potty training sounds like your daughter is doing a great job already. Thanks so much for your input I really appreciate it.

Speedymia

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

I work in SEN and from what I see down the years, older starting is usually better. As a huge generalisation , girls tend to be more mature than boys at that age, but it's down to the individual child. Try to make an appt to see the playschool leader and see why she thinks that sending your daughter to primary school in September is not a good idea.

Here is one reasonably good check-list to get you thinking about her readiness:

Physical Health and Wellbeing especially fine motor skills ,good health, well fed, well rested, sitting, listening skills, able to grip a pencil, turn pages in a book, build with blocks, able to toilet themselves, feed themselves, dress themselves, some degree of focus to task, blow nose, wipe bottom, wash hands.

Social Competence primary need is to be able to get along with other children, cope with stress of new situations and new learning tasks, have healthy assertiveness, ability to play solo and with other children, have pro-social behaviour.

Emotional Maturity some ability to self manage their emotions, be able to cope with minimal adult contact in large groups, develop friendships, able to separate from parents.

Language and Cognitive Skills follow basic instructions, basic thinking skills.

Communication Skills and General Knowledge basic conversation skills, manners, ability to communicate needs.

Thanks so much for your response, very bit of advice is greatly appreciated

Speedymia

Onthefence wrote: »

I've waited to start my March girl until this September (when she'll be 5.5 years) for these very reasons. She was neither emotionally nor socially ready. Academically ready though. She was still throwing tantrums, stamping her feet and trying to control every situation until very recently.
There was no evidence of this in preschool/creche but once she got home it often came pouring out. She was exhausted from working so hard to keep everything in check and not actually dealing with situations/people maturely.
As a primary school teacher of 18 years I have seen many little people start when they would have benefitted from another year at home/preschool, but instead they struggled unnecessarily. I have also seen a few who do just fine. I'm not saying your lady will struggle, just sharing my observations with you.
I want my daughter to be one of the oldest in the class (she won't be the oldest) rather than one of the youngest. I know it'll stand to her throughout school.
Good luck with your meeting ☺️

Thanks for the advice it's greatly appreciated, we definitely see the reason the playschool teacher has. Best of luck to your little girl starting school😊

Bells21

julie101 wrote:

No need to get so defensive I have years of experience in this field. I did not say your child has ASD I simply said tantrums would not be the norm in any primary junior infant class I have taught in and, as I have taught many children with ASD, I said some pupils with ASD (not all either!) are the only who have any form of tantrum in the classroom. Best of luck getting advice from the professionals working with your child. Take what they say at face value rather than getting defensive as it will not be meant as a negative view of your child if they say the child is not ready.

While I agree with your statement that this behaviour isn't totally typical of a child of this age, I completely disagree that kids with ASD are the only kids who have any form of 'tantrum' in the classroom.
OP perhaps speaking to your child's preschool and seeing what they come back with. In a meantime you have already identified an area that could be worked out i.e. sharing. Perhaps settings up little scenarios where you can model how to share and then providing an opportunity for your child to put into practice what theyve 'learned' with their peers. Also board games etc offer great teaching opportunities in terms of exploring social emotions and socially acceptable behaviour. It doesn't have to be ott just become a natural part of routine.
As an aside, if it comes to it and you decide that your child won't start school in September, they won't be at any disadvantage.

Bells21

Bells21 wrote: »

While I agree with your statement that this behaviour isn't totally typical of a child of this age, I completely disagree that kids with ASD are the only kids who have any form of 'tantrum' in the classroom.
OP perhaps speaking to your child's preschool and seeing what they come back with. In a meantime you have already identified an area that could be worked out i.e. sharing. Perhaps settings up little scenarios where you can model how to share and then providing an opportunity for your child to put into practice what theyve 'learned' with their peers. Also board games etc offer great teaching opportunities in terms of exploring social emotions and socially acceptable behaviour. It doesn't have to be ott just become a natural part of routine.
As an aside, if it comes to it and you decide that your child won't start school in September, they won't be at any disadvantage.

Again if you simply read my post carefully I do not say that...I say in the classrooms I have taught in this has been my experience to date. Please read the post carefully if you are going to respond to challenge it so that you are not arguing an inaccurate point. It wastes time and derails the thread. You cannot say this is not true when I am simply offering my experience which is true!

Bells21

Your experience is just that, one person's experience. I countered with my opinion, based on my experience. I am not trying to derail the thread, I simply disagreed with your point after which I provided some suggestions for the OP, which they can take or leave as they see fit.

joebloggs32

lawred2 wrote: »

4 this March just gone? Seems a bit young to me to be starting school.

None of the schools around here would consider a child who will still be four at the turn of the year.

Started my girl a few years back at exactly that age.
She struggled a little at first being one of the youngest but has since found her feet.
Now in first class the teacher has said she is ahead of most of her peers in literacy and numeracy.
No two children are the same. Some are ready and some are not. My son is 4 since November but I am much more worried as to how he will adapt to the change to big school than I ever was with my daughter.

endacl

I honestly read the thread title as: "daughter starting big school in Egypt".

evolving_doors

lawred2 wrote: »

4 this March just gone? Seems a bit young to me to be starting school.

None of the schools around here would consider a child who will still be four at the turn of the year.

If the school is oversubscribed there could be an age criteria to get in!
I.e. all things being equal an older child will get priority of a place.

GalwayGrrrrrl

Depending on the number of kids on waiting list of the playschool they might be looking to keep your daughter one more year to keep their numbers up! Lots of children seem to be starting school at 5.5 now there is the 2nd Free preschool year. There’s a good few months to go until September, you might find your daughter matures a little between now and then and will be ready.