5 month old routine

wexpat girl

2nd child here so would have thought I'd have nailed this better 2nd time round!

No routine. Every day is different. Wakes generally for feed still at 11pm/12am and then at 3/4 am.
Today we had:
woke 8am. Back for nap by 9am. Started bottle 9.45, finished it 10.45am ish. Has no interest in first bottle of the day and it could take 2 hours to finish.
10.45 nap til 11.30.
Seemed to want nap again (as woke too soon, grumpy) but could not get back to sleep.Sometimes this happens and I can get her back to sleep.
2pm Started bottle, took 4 oz.
2.30-3ish Tried to put down for nap. Failed. Finished bottle.
4-5pm Nap.
6.30 bottle 4/5 oz
trying to put down 7-7.30 Stopped to put older boy down as getting nowehere.
7.45pm finished bottle and asleep by 8pm ish.

Some days she will finish a bottle, other days it's as if she grazes. She will be grumpy for a nap but could be due her bottle within an hour so I know she'll not sleep long as she'll wake hungry but I can't get her to take the bottle as she's too tired. It's like she 's both hungry and tired together at times, won't take bottle as too tired or won't go for nap/ stay asleep as hungry!

I just can't figure her out at all! She's a happy baby, developing well but just so unpredictable. Her brother was sleeping 7-7 from 3 months with one bottle at 3/4am. This lady seems to graze and never full enough! I hope to start solids soon and that this will help! She used to eat and sleep better (by day) Has never gone much more than 4 hrs at night and I'm frankly, quite knackered now! At the mo, I feel I nver get on top of it with her during the day - okay you've taken a bottle, should be good for 4 hrs ish or you've slept for 2 hours. It's all a bit stop-start. My little lad gets impatient cos it must seem that mammy is always " going to give baby her bottle" or put " baby down for a sleep!"

shesty

This was the hardest part of no.2s arrival!!!What's the age gap?
This could be a bit long winded, but at 14 weeks I just had to accept that no.2 was not the same child as no.1.(sounds stupid but that's what it is).So I had to stop trying to fit her into the routine that worked for no.1.Whereas no.1 would have woken way earlier, napped religiously at 8 then about 11, and again in mid afternoon and evening (40 min catnapper), no,2 had a snooze round 9am for 40 mins or so and that was it-she was just fine til almost midday.It worked out kind of handy actually, meant we could get out and about every morning.I just fed her on the go in the buggy in that period.They both went to sleep round midday, no.2 would stretch to maybe 80 mins if i got in to tide her over the 40 min mark (also a catnapper), no.1 was unconscious for 2.5 hours at that stage.We might get another 30-40 mins in the sling while I made dinner.Totally different structure to her day, and there still is.She's 21 months now, sleeps 7:30-7:30, naps round 11:30am for just 1.5 hours (since she was 13 months) and won't eat dinner before she naps.She also woke a lot more at night.Whereas no.1 would have been awake at 5:30, just moved to 1 nap at 20 months, which was 12-3pm basically, and always needed food before the nap.And still sleeps like the dead at night!!!
What I am saying is watch her and see what suits....and if she doesn't seem to need the sleep or the full bottle, then so be it!It's hard because your brain is still thinking of the first child's day structure, but this child is not the same plus they have way more to look at!!!!I tried to make sure at least one if not two of the naps were always in her bed at almost the exact same time each day, which helped a lot.She fell into the routine quite quickly then.The third nap I accepted was on the go!Bedtime is just hard for the first few months, so just get her a little routine going as best you can, even if it's just that her brother goes up first, then she goes.But it is hard and if you can have help during it for the first while, that's great.
Good luck - it will settle, but just go easy on yourself!It's a lot of work.