New borns and gigs

the_sonandmoon

I missed so many concerts the last time I was pregnant, and am missing a good few again this time around my due date (the pitfalls of summer babies). There's a gig I really want to go to in the rds, so outdoors, when the baby will be about 6 weeks (give or take, depending in when he decides to arrive).
Would it be ridiculous to expect to be able to go, with bubs in a sling, on boob, and with headphones on?

xalot

I would not like to be trying to change a nappy at a concert. Newborns (particularly bf ones) poop every 45 seconds!

I would also be terrified of drunk people pushing past me, against me when carrying the baba.

Sounds like a lot of stress but you might be more chilled than me!

the_sonandmoon

Yea, maybe I've forgotten how hard it can be, but my thinking is 6 week olds are easy.
They stay where you put them when you're changing them (I remember changing my last fella in bars and cafes between sinks in the toilets, in a counter space little bigger than him, and on my lap). I can't imagine, even at a gig, that somebody would be so drunk that they would push against me so hard that it could hurt a baby snuggled right in on top of me in a sling.

bee06

There was actually a gig that I really wanted to go to this week and myself and the husband discussed going. My baby is 6 weeks on Friday. I only said last night that i’m So glad we didn’t decide to go. I’m still sore from my episiotomy, I’m totally wreaked. My little boy is great but it would just be too much.

I just saw it’s an outdoor concert as well. Would you be OK if it rained for the whole gig and you both got soaked?

Sunny Dayz

Whatever about the crowds, you can find a less crowded place towards the back of the arena.


But it would be the noise that would concern me. I've never been to a quiet concert!! The sound levels are quite high for concerts and I would be worried about damage to hearing at such a young age when they are still only developing. A set of normal headphones won't keep out much noise and I don't think you would get a set of pellters (I think that's what they are called) to fit a 6 week old correctly to keep out sound. What about sleep patterns, do you think a baby is going to sleep through a concert?


Also consider yourself! Would you be up to attending a concert? Have you far to travel? What if you have a C-section - would you be recovered enough to stand for hours with a baby in a sling?

iamwhoiam

My concerns would be what if it rained or was cold . Also cant imagine leaving a six week old baby with a set of head phones on for long periods to be honest .

s7ryf3925pivug

Yes it would be ridiculous. You could get a babysitter though. Get a breast pump for a supply of milk.

the_sonandmoon

Oh god, ye have all turned me totally off it.
It's been a while since I've been to a big stadium gig. I assumed those headphones would suffice and that there would be space to get away from the crowds.
I had an episiotomy last time, but was over it very quickly. I hadn't considered a c-section...

the_sonandmoon

Oakley Quaint Trucker wrote:

Yes it would be ridiculous. You could get a babysitter though. Get a breast pump for a supply of milk.

No, I just wouldn't go. I wouldn't get a babysitter and leave a 6 week old. Nor would I pump that early.

KellyXX

Maybe it's just me, but I'll say it.
I would consider that child abuse.
Your baby is 6 weeks old. Still very fragile. Imagine the stress on being at a concert for a six week old. Nuts.

s7ryf3925pivug

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

No, I just wouldn't go. I wouldn't get a babysitter and leave a 6 week old. Nor would I pump that early.

Why not pump that early?

xalot

It's perfectly fine to pump that early. I was pumping from a few days when my first was in special care and from 3 weeks when my second had a short stay in the Children's Hospital.

Neither had any effect on my supply and I continued to breastfeed until after 6 months.

the_sonandmoon

KellyXX wrote:

Maybe it's just me, but I'll say it. I would consider that child abuse. Your baby is 6 weeks old. Still very fragile. Imagine the stress on being at a concert for a six week old. Nuts.

Yikes. Ill call the social worker, ask her if I should give up my kids

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

shesty

This sounds suspjciously like a conversation my OH had with me last night....!!!(he wants me to go to a gig this summer, I will not be going post-baby!)standing for a whole gig with a sling would be very hard OP.I know you say you recovered from.an episiotomy last time, but standing for any length would still be quite rough- your core muscles won't be quite right.

As for the baby, well it depends.It's a lot of money to commit though when you could have a baby who has colic and cries every evening or wants to cluster feed or the like.Given that it would be max 6 weeks old, but more likely less than that really, I wouldn't do it myself.Just too much too soon.

Miaireland

Would the RDS even allow it? I would imagine it would be an insurance nightmare for them particularly being an outdoor gig. There is a risk of falling. People bumping into you and knocking you.

Also can you get those soundproof headphones for a six week old. I know their are toddler ones but these would be too big for a six week old and therefore not provide sufficient protection to him.

What about the weather. A sling is not going to offer much protection if it is pouring rain.

How are you going to be able to change the baby or even bring all that you would need with you. The last few concerts I was at you were only allowed a clutch bag.

I would find a very trusted babysitter

KellyXX

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

Yikes. Ill call the social worker, ask her if I should give up my kids

Ask the social worker what they think of bringing a 6 week old to a concert

the_sonandmoon

I've seen babies at most outdoor gigs I've been to.
The last time I was at electric picnic, every other woman had a sling on her chest!

I'm not too concerned about my body recuperating, I was up and about straight away after my last one, and an evening standing up with a baby in sling would have been no bother to me. If things were different this time, I just wouldn't go.
Also, baby's dad would be with me, so if I was tired carrying him, he would take over.

To be honest though, I had forgotten about cluster feeding at that age. That would put me off alright.

Also, if ear muffs aren't suitable for small babies, we won't be going. I wont be risking damaging his hearing, obviously

I wouldn't be too concerned about weather. If it was raining, I wouldn't go. With or without baby, it just wouldn't be an enjoyable experience.

Thanks for the selfish and child abuser comments, much appreciated!

iamwhoiam

Six weeks old is quite simply too small and fragile to drag to a gig in my opinion .A six weeks old needs would always come first for me . Always. And in fairness OP it is selfish as it not for the babys sake at all

Foweva Awone

I'd be afraid of putting noise protection equipment on a baby that small because their skulls are still so soft and delicate, I'd be afraid the pressure of the headphones could move the skull out of shape ... I'd be avoiding anything like that until the soft spot is well closed over.

KellyXX

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

I've seen babies at most outdoor gigs I've been to.
The last time I was at electric picnic, every other woman had a sling on her chest!

I'm not too concerned about my body recuperating, I was up and about straight away after my last one, and an evening standing up with a baby in sling would have been no bother to me. If things were different this time, I just wouldn't go.
Also, baby's dad would be with me, so if I was tired carrying him, he would take over.

To be honest though, I had forgotten about cluster feeding at that age. That would put me off alright.

Also, if ear muffs aren't suitable for small babies, we won't be going. I wont be risking damaging his hearing, obviously

I wouldn't be too concerned about weather. If it was raining, I wouldn't go. With or without baby, it just wouldn't be an enjoyable experience.

Thanks for the selfish and child abuser comments, much appreciated!

I read more about how you could handle it there than how your six week old could handle it.
Says it all for me tbh.

Don't ask what people think if you only want to hear what you want.

the_sonandmoon

Foweva Awone wrote:

I'd be afraid of putting noise protection equipment on a baby that small because their skulls are still so soft and delicate, I'd be afraid the pressure of the headphones could move the skull out of shape ... I'd be avoiding anything like that until the soft spot is well closed over.

I think you are right. I had assumed they made these specifically for babies, but it seems not. No gigs for us this summer so!

s7ryf3925pivug

The Electric Picnic Website suggests it's not good for the kids

this is a large outdoor concert and may be not be a suitable environment for children under the age of 5. It is important to note that high noise levels can damage a child's hearing. We would just ask that you take this into consideration.

https://www.electricpicnic.ie/information/family-info

Bit disgusted to hear this is something people are doing now.

the_sonandmoon

KellyXX wrote:

Don't ask what people think if you only want to hear what you want.

I asked for people's opinions. There were 2 points which I considered valid, which I had not realised, or had forgotten - cluster feeds and that earmuffs were not safe.
As soon as I realised these, I stated that I couldn't go.

I'm not sure how my child would be expected to handle my recovery from an episiotomy, which was the point I was responding to, but I'll be sure to ask him how he feels about it in july!

the_sonandmoon

iamwhoiam wrote:

Six weeks old is quite simply too small and fragile to drag to a gig in my opinion .A six weeks old needs would always come first for me . Always. And in fairness OP it is selfish as it not for the babys sake at all

Because something is not done for the sake of a baby, doesn't make it selfish.
I had considered that a baby cocooned to its mother's chest, with milk supplied on demand, protected from the noise, would be happy. I still do.
But if I can't keep it safe from the noise (as I have learned this morning), I won't be going.

iamwhoiam

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

Because something is not done for the sake of a baby, doesn't make it selfish.
I had considered that a baby cocooned to its mother's chest, with milk supplied on demand, protected from the noise, would be happy. I still do.
But if I can't keep it safe from the noise (as I have learned this morning), I won't be going.

In all fairness yes taking a baby to a gig because you didn't want to miss it is in my opinion a selfish act . Its just not a place for an infant . But thats my opinion and I still think it . Infants are precious and always should come first
Have you no one who could mind the baby ?

shesty

I just find evenings are not a good time for newborns (and trust me they are an infinitely worse time if you have a toddler and newborn!) On a practical level, babies are often overtired, dealing with a lot of input from the day and often obviously cluster feeding if breastfed.As to whether you can get earphones or whatever I don't know, but nah, I wouldn't bother with anything at that age.Plenty of years ahead to make up the gigs ;-)

the_sonandmoon

iamwhoiam wrote:

In all fairness yes taking a baby to a gig because you didn't want to miss it is in my opinion a selfish act . Its just not a place for an infant . But thats my opinion and I still think it . Infants are precious and always should come first Have you no one who could mind the baby ?

I totally disagree about it being selfish. If I could protect the baby's ears, I would still be considering it. Again, not about putting baby first or second. If the baby's needs were met, they are coming first.

I have loads of people to mind the baby. But that's not what I wanted to do. I believe in the 4th trimester. Baby stays with me at all times until at least 3 or 4 months old. If baby can't go, I can't either.

iamwhoiam

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

I totally disagree about it being selfish. If I could protect the baby's ears, I would still be considering it. Again, not about putting baby first or second. If the baby's needs were met, they are coming first.

I have loads of people to mind the baby. But that's not what I wanted to do. I believe in the 4th trimester. Baby stays with me at all times until at least 3 or 4 months old. If baby can't go, I can't either.

Do you mind me asking you why you think its better for a baby to be never left in the care of a loving adult ? I ask because my kids and my grandchild was left with loving grandparents . They all grew up to be perfectly happy content polite clever and loving adults . My grandchild was very lucky to have four grandparents who loved her . She is a happy , bright , sociable , chatty and gorgeous child . She runs in to her granda ( she was left with us when an infant if we were needed ) snuggled in to him and asks for a book read to her .
Genuine question please , what benefit is it not to be left as an infant ? Because I am of a very different opinion that it takes a village to raise a child

the_sonandmoon

iamwhoiam wrote:

Do you mind me asking you why you think its better for a baby to be never left in the care of a loving adult ? I ask because my kids and my grandchild was left with loving grandparents . They all grew up to be perfectly happy content polite clever and loving adults . My grandchild was very lucky to have four grandparents who loved her . She is a happy , bright , sociacable , chatty and gorgeous child . She runs in to her granda ( she was left with us when an infant if we were needed ) snuggled in to him and asks for a book read to her . Genuine question please , what benefit is it not to be left as an infant ? Because I am of a very different opinion that it takes a village to raise a child

I don't think that at all. My toddler is lucky enough to spend a lot of time with both sets of grandparents and with my sister and her family. Has done on a regular basis since he was about 10 months old. He adores his relatives, and I am very much about the village parenting.

I'm taking about very young babies, up to 3-4 months old. I believe it takes time for them to adjust to life outside the womb. So they are held close to mamma listening to her heartbeat, fed on demand, swaddled, moved around in a sling being soothed by the movements they are familiar with.

iamwhoiam

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

I don't think that at all. My toddler is lucky enough to spend a lot of time with both sets of grandparents and with my sister and her family. Has done on a regular basis since he was about 10 months old. He adores his relatives, and I am very much about the village parenting.

I'm taking about very young babies, up to 3-4 months old. I believe it takes time for them to adjust to life outside the womb. So they are held close to mamma listening to her heartbeat, fed on demand, swaddled, moved around in a sling being soothed by the movements they are familiar with.

Thanks for the answer . Well I disagree about the under 4 month old needing only its mother as a loving grandparent is a huge bonus to any age . Unless you can proove that the baby who stays only with his mother has any benefit above the one who occasionally is hugged by a grandparent ?

the_sonandmoon

iamwhoiam wrote:

Thanks for the answer . Well I disagree about the under 4 month old needing only its mother as a loving grandparent is a huge bonus to any age . Unless you can proove that the baby who stays only with his mother has any benefit above the one who occasionally is hugged by a grandparent ?

Sorry, perhaps I'm not explaining myself very well.

Of course babies should be held, hugged, etc by other family members, especially dad.

4th trimester parenting isn't about keeping the baby away from others, just easing its transition into the world by keeping it close to mamma most of the time. But there's always a place for a hug from grandad!

NIMAN

KellyXX wrote: »

Maybe it's just me, but I'll say it.
I would consider that child abuse.
Your baby is 6 weeks old. Still very fragile. Imagine the stress on being at a concert for a six week old. Nuts.

Child abuse is maybe stretching it a bit, but to be honest when I read this thread I thought it had to be some sort of wind-up.

If its genuine, accept that you have a young baby OP, get over it and forget about the concert. It should be way down your list of priorities.

endacl

Not an outdoor gig, where people would be smoking. I'd say it'd be grand in the likes of Vicar St. where you could just pop the nipper into the cloakroom?

the_sonandmoon

NIMAN wrote:

If its genuine, accept that you have a young baby OP, get over it and forget about the concert. It should be way down your list of priorities.

Yep, as you've probably seen from my posts all morning, I've accepted over and over that I won't be going, due to the fact that I won't be able to ensure against damage to the baby's hearing.

Can you give me an idea if what my priorities should be? Other than keeping baby safe, warm, fed, clean, loved, all of which would have been covered.

xalot

To those giving the op grief - please get some perspective. She was just considering something and asked for advice, when she got lots of different opinions (mostly sensible) she realised that it wasn't the most practical or safe idea.

I always thought of this as a forum to come to for advice and guidance. It's possible to make somebody aware of possible dangers without calling social welfare!

Pregnancy and motherhood are hard enough without all the bloody judgement.

iamwhoiam

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

Sorry, perhaps I'm not explaining myself very well.

Of course babies should be held, hugged, etc by other family members, especially dad.

4th trimester parenting isn't about keeping the baby away from others, just easing its transition into the world by keeping it close to mamma most of the time. But there's always a place for a hug from grandad!

Thanks for the reply . ! I am still confused why then the baby cannot be minded while you go out ?

fits

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Thanks for the reply . ! I am still confused why then the baby cannot be minded while you go out ?

I agree with op in that I could not have left the babies for several hours until they were several months old. Two hours max with anyone.

iamwhoiam

fits wrote: »

I agree with op in that I could not have left the babies for several hours until they were several months old. Two hours max with anyone.

I am simply asking why not . What is the benefits ? Are there any proven benefits ? Lets say your toddler needs you more , is in hospital and you leave a newborn with family . Are they at a disadvantage to another who was never left ?

lukesmom

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

Yikes. Ill call the social worker, ask her if I should give up my kids

Okay the social worker will question your ability to provide basic needs to such a young infant.

Warmth
Food
Regular nappy changes
Shelter
Safety

If you can 100% guarantee these needs above being met, then go for it. But I would seriously question your ability to parent adequately if you come to the conclusion that an outdoor concert with a 6 week old is an appropriate situation to be trying to meet these needs.

fits

iamwhoiam wrote: »

I am simply asking why not . What is the benefits ? Are there any proven benefits ? Lets say your toddler needs you more , is in hospital and you leave a newborn with family . Are they at a disadvantage to another who was never left ?

Who said anything about disadvantage. Newborn babies are happiest with Mum. That’s all

lukesmom

iamwhoiam wrote: »

I am simply asking why not . What is the benefits ? Are there any proven benefits ? Lets say your toddler needs you more , is in hospital and you leave a newborn with family . Are they at a disadvantage to another who was never left ?

From a social work prospective, as was mentioned earlier. It is always preferable to have a baby with its mother, so long as its needs will be met. However in this case it would be far more suitable to have the 6 week old baby with an another family member/caregiver who can guarantee his needs being met at home, as opposed to an outdoor concert.

iamwhoiam

fits wrote: »

Who said anything about disadvantage. Newborn babies are happiest with Mum. That’s all

And equally happy for periods with its granny . No one will convince me otherwise .

bee06

iamwhoiam wrote: »

And equally happy for periods with its granny . No one will convince me otherwise .

Considering the baby will be breastfed and 6 weeks is the earliest a breastfed baby would be recommended to be given a bottle, there is no guarantee he/she would take the bottle if left. All the loving grandparents in the world are no use if the baby is screaming for her moms boob for hours.

eviltwin

I went to a gig when my son was about three weeks old. He didn't come. No way would I have coped with him there, it was to noisy, crowded and I was tired enough due to sleepless nights to be worrying about nappies and feeding. You won't enjoy it with a baby to care for and I agree it's not a suitable environment for a new baby. If you really want to go I'd go and get a babysitter.

iamwhoiam

bee06 wrote: »

Considering the baby will be breastfed and 6 weeks is the earliest a breastfed baby would be recommended to be given a bottle, there is no guarantee he/she would take the bottle if left. All the loving grandparents in the world are no use if the baby is screaming for her moms boob for hours.

The conversation was about babies until 3-4 months being happiest with the mother .And if the baby is six weeks old and breast fed and best with the mother then fine but that not at a gig in my opinion .

ZiggyBean

No real advice to be given here, to each there own and all that. I personally wouldn't bring a small baby to a concert. But then I dealt with my 6 week old a little differently to most due to a traumatic birth.

I'm mainly curious as to what the gig is that has you even considering bringing the baba along?? Someone likely not to be here again??

the_syco

the_sonandmoon wrote: »

I can't imagine, even at a gig, that somebody would be so drunk that they would push against me so hard that it could hurt a baby snuggled right in on top of me in a sling.

Intentionally, no. But if they tripped, and and fell on top of you whilst you were walking, baby would probably suffer injuries.Heck, add a bot of rain, and the chance of someone slipping and knocking into you would probably increase.

Also, the noise would probably damage the babies hearing; but you won't realize the damage until a few years later.

fits

Yeah I couldn’t imagine going to a gig at six weeks. Either with a baby or without. But I didn’t leave my twins for longer than two hours until they were eight months!

XsApollo

Bring a 6 week old baby to a stadium gig?
How are you even contemplating it never mind actually questioning it if you can?
Madness.

the_syco

Also the child won't have any of it's vaccinations, so if it comes in contact with any feral unvaccinated people, it could get a serious illness and die.