Lonely

LegacyUser

Hi, I feel so lonely. A few years back I was really happy with a good social life. Now two good friends who got married in the same town have literally fallen off the radar and never to be seen. One of these I did so much for and always there when she had a crisis but last year when I had a crisis it took 4 weeks for her to contact me, I was beyond hurt. We had been such great friends but because I broke up with partner my life went a different direction. I know from before when one of them spoke about her colleagues complaining how she wasn't invited out anymore because she was single and them claiming she would be a spare wheel which I thought was offensive and said it at the time. I feel because I don't have children they think I don't fit in with their new yummy mummy friends. I know at this stage I probably won't have children but I am fine about this. I know at work they would be shocked to know I feel this way. I enjoy my work and have no problems. However I feel so lonely when I go home I am thinking of quitting my job so I can move up home to be close to family. All my friends up home have moved away and we only ever see each other twice a year. I literally see noone after I leave work whereas before I had loads going on. I don't know if this is just a natural progression thing in life. I just feel so empty and lonely when I get home every day. I feel like such a failure saying I am so lonely.

Hombre Lobo

Do you do anything outside of work when you finish for the day? Hobbies, gym, out for a walk? Anything at all?
There's a lot of threads here that have plenty of suggestions on social activities.

If you have any interests, Meetup might have a group of people who share those same interests that you could go to.

Tell me how

I have heard a lot of people speak positively about Meetup. I haven't tried it myself so far but have thought about it. Depending on the location there can be lots of groups going on.

I am in a very different place to all those who I would have considered close friends in my past. I haven't really managed to make new friends even though I think I get on with people in general.
I have started to think that there is parts of my life which i would find it very difficult to change to accommodate others and so maybe I am choosing to stay this way. I'm not quite sure. I enjoy it for the most part. I think...

You say you get on fine at work, do you have any interests or are aware of any interests which someone else at work has that might overlap? I do believe you don't find a friend as such, you find people who you start to connect with who ultimately can become friends depending on how life goes. I wouldn't go moving just yet to fix the problem, might feel like running away and particularly when you say your old friends have moved away from the area, you might end up finding the same problems exist there.

Finally, do things you enjoy even if you do them on your own, cinema, drinks, shows, holidays can all be enjoyed immensely even if you are on your own. Also, you are much more likely to meet and chat to people when out like that and who knows maybe that could be your next best friend.

Hope things pick up for you.

Funny Feeling

I read an article in the dentist yesterday (so can't remember the magazine) about a woman in her 30's trying to make new friends after moving towns in England. She posted flyers with an email address looking for people to hangout with and it seemed to work.

She also talked about apps for finding friends which i didn't know existed. Maybe try girlcrew for people looking to make friends as adults.

Best of luck something will happen. A job you like is hard to find so don't go giving that up just yet.

Derrigra

I'm not for a minute suggesting you need it, but local Slimming World group's are a fantastic source of friendship. I'm in one and the laugh's we have every week are fantastic, all age group's, men, women, singleton's, etc. belong to the group. Although it's only about an hour and a half each week, we belong to a facebook page and everyone is so welcoming and chatty. We're even going to do the Great Limerick Run shortly. It might be worth considering while getting fit and healthy at the same time?