Going to see College Doctor about my depression

TheBiz

I don't want to go to my GP because that would mean telling my parents and getting a lift down or not telling my parents and then being pestered about it.

But she tends to be quite callous, she's there for acute issues as she mentioned before (I was in to her for a separate issue, not mental) and she said she was for 'chest infections, sexual health stuff'..

I'm not sure if she will just say 'oh you should speak to your GP about that, I don't know you it's really not for me to say', refer me to a specialist or just give me leaflets about counselling services.

From what I could see online it says 'psychiatric referrals' as one of the student docs functions.

I need to see someone about this, in all honesty I should have a long time ago.
I failed 2 exams because I didn't want to leave my bed, I didn't leave the apartment for weeks at a time, I had/have no friends and I've struggled to do anything or think in an anyway logical manner.

But I'm worried I'll get a fluffed up version of 'sounds like you should have gone to someone else'..
I was in and out for roughly a month to her, and on antibiotics for the same amount of time, so I'm sure they're all sick of seeing my face.

I want to defer the year, it's going downhill, it's already started and I can't work at the level I want to/should be working at, I know why, but my parents think it's laziness and drinking too much.
I don't think I can, or I don't think I can get any of my fees back considering I'm half way through and I failed 2 exams..

What should I do?

neonsofa

Could you maybe try to start the session with "I am here for a psychologist/psychiatric referral due to feeling x,y and z" and bring the leaflet with you to show her if she says she cant do that. She may very well say go back to your gp but if you state exactly what you need and she knows that you aren't expecting her to solve your problem as it were, she may be happy enough to just ask you the relevant questions and organise a referral accordingly.

Alternatively, can the counselling service make direct referrals? Is there a reason you don't want to avail of that service? They can actually be extremely helpful and have the time to offer you a listening ear and go through things that some healthcare professionals don't always have.

Is there a doctor close to the college that offers student discounts? Maybe you could ask around and use them instead of your GP.

I wish you all the best.

Edit: or is it that you actually only want the doctor to prescribe something without a referral? What is it you want to happen, I suppose I'm asking? As I thought you wanted a referral but from re reading it seems you maybe don't?

TheBiz

neonsofa wrote: »

Could you maybe try to start the session with "I am here for a psychologist/psychiatric referral due to feeling x,y and z" and bring the leaflet with you to show her if she says she cant do that. She may very well say go back to your gp but if you state exactly what you need and she knows that you aren't expecting her to solve your problem as it were, she may be happy enough to just ask you the relevant questions and organise a referral accordingly.

Alternatively, can the counselling service make direct referrals? Is there a reason you don't want to avail of that service? They can actually be extremely helpful and have the time to offer you a listening ear and go through things that some healthcare professionals don't always have.

Is there a doctor close to the college that offers student discounts? Maybe you could ask around and use them instead of your GP.

I wish you all the best.

Edit: or is it that you actually only want the doctor to prescribe something without a referral? What is it you want to happen, I suppose I'm asking? As I thought you wanted a referral but from re reading it seems you maybe don't?

Thanks for the advice,
I just want some improvement.

I want to see what she will advise/prescribe.
That info was on the website, I just want to go into her and say I've been struggling with depression for sometime, I don't want to tell my parents just yet and that's why I haven't gone to my GP about it.. whether she prescribes something or gives me a referral (would that be just to a counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist or to be admitted to hospital? I'm guessing not the latter).
At the very least I want something concrete to go back to my parents with, so I can focus the discussion around getting it sorted rather than the discussion being around what 'it' is.
I mean I will tell them but I just don't want to take the form of a counselling session with them.

There is a counselling service but I'd have to wait until next Wednesday to even get an appointment (they come first come first serve, and you have to be there for 2.00 Wednesday or something like that).

I've been to a counsellor before but I didn't find him helpful in any way, he just talked about his brilliant nephew who became a neurosurgeon, because I mentioned I had an interest in becoming a doctor at the time, honestly the relevance is lost on me but I just remember not finding him helpful..

I do want to avail of the counselling service but I want more than just talking through it, or at least something in conjunction with that.

Ultimately I want to defer the year if it's possible, it matters to my overall result, I've been in a very bad place for the past year, year and a half..
I don't even know if that will be possible but I don't want to be in the same mental state I'm currently in.

Scraggs

Make an appointment with the college doctor and explain how you are feeling. You should also speak with your course coordinator with regard to deferring options and what the story is regarding your failed exams, deferring fees etc. The sooner you engage with them the easier it will be to make a plan.

neonsofa

So you're basically trying to work through your decision re college and you want to be able to go to your parents with a somewhat formed plan based on having spoken to a professional? Is that correct or am I way off?

It's hard to say what a gp would do without getting into the medical side of things but generally with depression they advise attending counselling and may sometimes prescribe medication if they felt it was required.

Your previous counsellor seems a bit unhelpful in fairness. It is sometimes a personality thing too. People sometimes have to try a few different ones before they find one who "gets them". I wouldn't write off the counselling service tbh cause they can just give you space to work through what you actually want to happen so you can go to your parents or your doctor with a plan you've already worked through. If they are the college counselling service then they also probably deal with similar issues regularly- they probably know a bit about deferring etc and the prsssure of college that a general counsellor may not be as familiar with. There's nothing stopping you seeing them and a doctor.


I'm wondering is it that you want a professional diagnosis/prescription of some sort to kind of demonstrate to your parents that you need to defer? You seem to want something more concrete to bring to them? Are you worried that they won't want you to defer?

TheBiz

neonsofa wrote: »

So you're basically trying to work through your decision re college and you want to be able to go to your parents with a somewhat formed plan based on having spoken to a professional? Is that correct or am I way off?

It's hard to say what a gp would do without getting into the medical side of things but generally with depression they advise attending counselling and may sometimes prescribe medication if they felt it was required.

Your previous counsellor seems a bit unhelpful in fairness. It is sometimes a personality thing too. People sometimes have to try a few different ones before they find one who "gets them". I wouldn't write off the counselling service tbh cause they can just give you space to work through what you actually want to happen so you can go to your parents or your doctor with a plan you've already worked through. If they are the college counselling service then they also probably deal with similar issues regularly- they probably know a bit about deferring etc and the prsssure of college that a general counsellor may not be as familiar with. There's nothing stopping you seeing them and a doctor.


I'm wondering is it that you want a professional diagnosis/prescription of some sort to kind of demonstrate to your parents that you need to defer? You seem to want something more concrete to bring to them? Are you worried that they won't want you to defer?

I actually just mentioned to my mother that I was looking at it/wanting to and I just got 'absolutely not' as the response.

I want to have something concrete to show them, I want to say 'I went to the college doctor, she says I have depression' and she recommends/wants me to do x,y and z.. so I can focus the conversation on the treatment not on what they've done, why didn't I tell them, what do I think will change etc..

I just want to see someone about it, I'm sick of this little black spot in my brain that just grows and shrinks.
I want to primarily not be depressed, secondly I want to show to my parents I didn't fail the exams for lack of trying and too much drinking/having fun because I hated this past semester and first year, my first year of college was the worst year of my life.

TheBiz

Scraggs wrote: »

Make an appointment with the college doctor and explain how you are feeling. You should also speak with your course coordinator with regard to deferring options and what the story is regarding your failed exams, deferring fees etc. The sooner you engage with them the easier it will be to make a plan.

I'm wondering if it will even be a possibility,
Or even if they'll just see it as a cop out.
I kind of see it as a cop out, I mean it was my mistake to begin with, I don't know if they can let me defer the year when I'm half way through..

neonsofa

That makes sense. Did she know your reasons why though? At the end of the day they are your parents and they want what is best for you so if they think that you might be a little stressed and think you're flippantly choosing to defer they may say no and try to discourage you, whereas if you are upfront about how you're feeling I think/hope they would be more supportive in your decision.

TheBiz

neonsofa wrote: »

That makes sense. Did she know your reasons why though? At the end of the day they are your parents and they want what is best for you so if they think that you might be a little stressed and think you're flippantly choosing to defer they may say no and try to discourage you, whereas if you are upfront about how you're feeling I think/hope they would be more supportive in your decision.

No, I am planning to tell her but I want to have something going into the discussion rather than having her/them act as my therapist..
I want to approach the whole deferring situation with something more concrete, I probably should not have mentioned it until I actually went to the doctor.

I'm not close to my parents, I love them and they love me but we don't talk about that sort of thing, I don't talk to my brother about girls, we don't really do that..

I'm just out of the preliminary appointment with the nurse, she was asking if it's obsessive, it's my own fault because I was talking about the change in attitude rather than the attitude, how I went from wanting to enforce a strict routine, decision fatigue, minimal wardrobe to feeling depressed..
It's my own fault on that, I just wanted to skirt around the depression because I felt my hands shaking, headaches and in the waiting room I felt physically sick.

Honestly, I feel stupid for going, I tried to leave but I can't continue how I was, I feel like a f*ck up but I'd rather be a f*ck up who has it under control rather than someone who falls out of society.

koumi

Don't know if it helps but went through similar process recently, I went to my own GP just prior to starting College in September because I knew I needed to get things sorted out before I got stuck into studies but at the time was reluctant to take medication because I wanted to get settled in first and see how I got on before deciding what was best.

During my second week of college I got a call from doctor to ask me to return as she said she mislabeled my bloods and wanted to do a second batch. I don't know what happened but as soon as she stuck that needle in me my body went into state of shock. It was like I had received a shot of adrenaline and everything was a blur and I requested counselling referral at that point.
I was very unwell in the days after that and attempted to get to A&E but called doctor first to see what I should do, was allowed to go in and a different doctor informed me that symptoms were result of anxiety and put me on a weeks supply of medication. Went back after a week as instructed to with medication and was asked why I was there and was referred to psychiatry. (I actually had no clue what was going on here or why these doctors were so angry, they had lost my bloods and my medical records to boot)

Long story short, I was unable to attend college, the medication was really difficult to manage and I was pretty unwell with same symptoms and managed to get to doctor to get a letter to give to college. They were particularly unhelpful at that surgery (lost medical records, very abusive) so I changed doctor who helped me process documentation, discussed medication and made recommendations.

I started to wean myself off medication after three months of struggle with it, anxiety had increased to the point where I had become agoraphobic and I really didn't want to live like that anymore. I felt like everything had been swept away from me, I had been looking forward to starting college and the abuse I received from first doctor had me at such a low point I was pretty suicidal. So I tapered dosage down until I eventually went off them clean and it was rough but life is a hundred times better, I can function, sleep, eat and have counselor who I can discuss concerns with and a new GP who is aware of the situation.

Inso far as college is concerned, As it had been so early in the semester we didn't have an appointed class tutor so I went to admissions office and left sick certs there to be relayed to relevant departments and discussed situation about requesting medical deferral there. They forwarded documentation to retention officer who contacted me to explain process and I've been providing documentation in that respect since November which includes but is not limited to, 2 letters from GP outlining situation, a number of sick certs, documentation from counsellor/therapist/psychologist or whichever of these may apply. I have until February 10 to get this stuff on the table for both Department of SP and College retention officer, as I had been in receipt of BETA up until that point.

Just a heads up if you are thinking of going down that route, you may want to discuss the plausibility of medical deferral with college doctor before proceeding, I do know there is a time limit on it but it might be a whole lot more straight forward at the college you attend.

Teyla Emmagan

I have to say your college doctor is not very professional if she says she's only there for 'acute' issues. She's a proper doctor surely, not a nurse dispensing bandages! But you won't know until you go in. Just come straight out with 'I am having mental health issues, I think I might be depressed. I need some help because I can't cope with life right now'. Tell her you can't get out of bed. I don't know what she will say but she must hear it every day of the week so you will find out. It will be medication/counselling or a mixture of both.

As for your parents I would tell them that you are going to see your college GP because your mood is very bad lately and you are having trouble with college. Don't lead with 'deferral'. It might seem like the only way out now but it isn't necessarily. It is only the start of February. You could be a totally different person by June. Personally I think it is better to give your parents a heads up, particularly as I presume you will be heading home if you do drop out. Text them if you don't want to say it face to face.

And give yourself some slack, you have just been sick for ages, of course you are going to be worn down. Your mind could be worn down too. But it will come back again, this doesn't have to be a long term thing. Hopefully it is just a blip.

TheBiz

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I have to say your college doctor is not very professional if she says she's only there for 'acute' issues. She's a proper doctor surely, not a nurse dispensing bandages! But you won't know until you go in. Just come straight out with 'I am having mental health issues, I think I might be depressed. I need some help because I can't cope with life right now'. Tell her you can't get out of bed. I don't know what she will say but she must hear it every day of the week so you will find out. It will be medication/counselling or a mixture of both.

As for your parents I would tell them that you are going to see your college GP because your mood is very bad lately and you are having trouble with college. Don't lead with 'deferral'. It might seem like the only way out now but it isn't necessarily. It is only the start of February. You could be a totally different person by June. Personally I think it is better to give your parents a heads up, particularly as I presume you will be heading home if you do drop out. Text them if you don't want to say it face to face.

And give yourself some slack, you have just been sick for ages, of course you are going to be worn down. Your mind could be worn down too. But it will come back again, this doesn't have to be a long term thing. Hopefully it is just a blip.

Thanks for your reply, yeah I definitely was not thinking when I mentioned about deferring because I had to answer back with 'I'll let you know when I have it sorted out', which was as vague as humanly possible..

Just to save this being a wall of text I'm going to finish it as another post.

TheBiz

Ok, so I went to the doctor yesterday.
I was feeling physically sick in the waiting room and just generally horrid.

I went into see the nurse first and it was essentially word vomit of everything except the word depression, she was lovely, gave me a red card and a note with "DT" which I was told means double time with the doctor.
Came back nd hour later and I was into the Doctor in a room that was somewhat out of the way.

The doctor was lovely, very helpful.
We talked about everything and she could tell it was affecting me as I was drinking a lot of water and stripping down to my T-shirt feeling very warm.

Long story short I will be seeing the student health coordinator (or something to that effect) who will discuss my lifestyle, ways to try and manage it and seeing if a deferral will be necessary, or justified.
I am also on a waiting list to see the psychiatrist who comes in once a week, despite having private health insurance.

Her diagnosis was I at the very least suffered with depression but probably not clinical (overly severe) but bad enough to be debilitating.

She said I could possibly have Cyclothymia which is essentially a low grade Bi-Polar, but if the depressive episodes are deemed severe enough that would be escalated to Bi-Polar Type 2.
Reason being is I have intense periods of focus and concentration, just a two weeks ago I was planning a minimal wardrobe maybe even a uniform of the same clothes (think Zuckerberg), I was trying to avoid decision fatigue so I set out a very strict routine..
This is apparently a sign of hypomania, because I'm not gambling away my life or stealing cars.. but it's not entirely normal to have a week of total clarity and decisiveness.

Thanks for the help everyone.

TheBiz

Scraggs wrote: »

Make an appointment with the college doctor and explain how you are feeling. You should also speak with your course coordinator with regard to deferring options and what the story is regarding your failed exams, deferring fees etc. The sooner you engage with them the easier it will be to make a plan.

Should I wait until I have a diagnosis to talk to the course coordinator?
I would think the validity of the whole thing would hang on what the doctors say, if it's justifiable to defer or if it's just a cope out.
I know the doctor said it's 'something you can look into as a possibility' when I brought it up.

neonsofa

Well done OP. I hope they continue to support you and you decide on the best course of action for yourself. Don't rush into a decision either way. See how you get on. All the best.

LegacyUser

Just - a piece of tangential advice I may offer.

Psychiatry can be a contentious subject - if you listen to Today FM on weekends, you here the clinical director for Irish psychiatry speaks regularly, addressing this.

Regarding medication which psychiatry normally goes the way of - it can be beneficial to educate yourself as to what you're being given, and what your options are.

Mental health teams go through so many people, they may often gloss over these details.

Point is, pharmacology is the principle discipline behind psychoactive medication.
Shrinks actually have team pharmacist they normally liaise with before prescribing most things that go beyond their familiarity - outside of typical protocol.

An author, Dr Stephen Stahl has two primary books that are very user friendly.
You can research that name for the exact titles; a primary book, and an accompanying handbook.

If it materializes that you experience most relief from medication - it might be no harm to do a little reading on the subject.
The various conditions are categorized according to potential pharmaco agents used in treating them.

You can download them via library genesis.

Scraggs

TheBiz wrote: »

Should I wait until I have a diagnosis to talk to the course coordinator?
I would think the validity of the whole thing would hang on what the doctors say, if it's justifiable to defer or if it's just a cope out.
I know the doctor said it's 'something you can look into as a possibility' when I brought it up.

I personally wouldn't wait, knowing what options are available will likely be a comfort to you. People defer for many reasons not just sickness. Some colleges and courses have extra supports available so if they know what's going on (even if you don't want to fully disclose your medical issues) they may be able to offer support/guidance. Also if you decide to continue the course while undergoing treatment there might be options like extended assignment deadlines, exam supports etc. which you could benefit from.

TheBiz

Scraggs wrote: »

I personally wouldn't wait, knowing what options are available will likely be a comfort to you. People defer for many reasons not just sickness. Some colleges and courses have extra supports available so if they know what's going on (even if you don't want to fully disclose your medical issues) they may be able to offer support/guidance. Also if you decide to continue the course while undergoing treatment there might be options like extended assignment deadlines, exam supports etc. which you could benefit from.

I just told my parents,
They want to wait and see, to get a genuine diagnosis and then think about getting in contact with someone in the Uni.

They’re really against a diagnosis, my dad mentioned in the car yesterday and said ‘it’s not something a doctor should call someone’, I know he meant that they shouldn’t say it without outright certainty but even that’s just not true.

They don’t want me to be diagnosed because it could impact me in the future, that it could all be down to me not applying myself or being flippant about college and to put it in my mothers words ‘it hasn’t clicked that you need to buckle down at college’.

They mean well but they’re nothing short of detrimental.

I said about deferring and their first question was ‘sure what will ya do between now and then!?!’

I don’t want to have a mental illness, they say how looking it up online could be the problem..

I’d rather be fine, be fully competent and capable, but in reality it’s a miracle I haven’t dropped out yet.