Financial issues...future issues

LegacyUser

Hi, I’ve recently met a great girl 6 months ago and we’re getting on very well, We are both early 30s no children etc. Recently talk turned to our living arrangements.
I’ve my own house in the countryside about 15mins away from the nearest town and she has a house in the same town.
I self built my house and I’m in the lucky position that the house is paid for mainly due to working abroad in the Middle East for most of my 20s after college in the oil and gas industry (well paid work but in dangerous countries and horrible work environments) I’m now finished with this line of work as it was a means to an end ie a mortgage and loan free life,
My girlfriend bought a house on her own when she was 22 just before the crash for 300k and is in 120k negative equity. She has mentioned that this was a reason for past breakups of relationships that guys seen this as a mill stone around her neck so to speak and didn’t want to get involved.
We both have well established careers in the semi state sector.
I’ve no opionion either way on this but her comments about past relationships has made me think has anyone being in a similar position? I guess it’s unusual as there’s no ex partners involved in the situation.
Any advice appreciated.

Big Bag of Chips

Negative equity is only an issue if she intends to sell. Does she intend to sell? Can she afford her mortgage at the moment? Unless the mortgage repayments are hindering her ability to go out and do things that a couple would like to do together then I can't see why it would be an issue.

silverharp

i dont see it as a huge problem given your circumstances, its not like student loan debt or consumer debt. if her property can be rented out and it cover the mortgage or thereabouts then its not going to be a financial drain and in 20 odd years time it will be a definite asset, even if she has to top it up in some way its a "pension" down the road

Mokuba

It is a noose in a way - I doubt she is going to want to sell the house while it is in negative equity (which is surely a conversation that will be had if ye stay together).

Will it ever get back into positive equity? If it was bought during the boom it mightn't - though property prices are on the rise.

For the relationship to progress past a certain point ye will have to move in together. I imagine that she will want to move into hers and for you to help pay off the mortgage, rather than her selling the house and having to make payments against a sold house for years.

You said you worked hard to ensure a debt free lifestyle so I would recommend that you don't readily sacrifice that unless you are sure.

A lot of what I said is hypothetical. It might be a conversation worth having though, if you think the relationship has a long term future.

leggo

I know someone with the most horrible financial noose I’ve heard: she had a house in her name and lived there with an abusive ex, so she ended up leaving for her own safety. She met a fella and had to live with him short-term to have a guaranteed roof over her head while she went through the Gardai and courts to get her house back, which she eventually did. They live there now and are relatively out of the woods financially. He could’ve left at any stage because I doubt it was easy, but from the outside it didn’t seem like that was ever even on the table.

I mean this stuff is only a noose if you let it be. If you love the person, these are just the circumstances you deal with to be with them. We all have our stuff: if it’s not financial, it’s emotional or physical or sexual. I definitely wouldn’t go leaving this relationship yet just because others have. There may come a time when you want to advance it that it becomes difficult and you change your mind, if that’s the case fine, but for now just keep your home and good financial situation and enjoy the relationship.

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woodchuck

Mokuba wrote: »

For the relationship to progress past a certain point ye will have to move in together. I imagine that she will want to move into hers and for you to help pay off the mortgage, rather than her selling the house and having to make payments against a sold house for years.

Or they could move into the OPs house and she could rent her house out. Hopefully the rent would cover the mortgage repayments and way down the line when the mortgage is paid off, she/they might actually be able to turn a profit by renting it out.

OP maybe her previous boyfriends just weren't as financially secure as you. Maybe they pictured themselves living in her house and sharing her debt. It doesn't have to be that way though, but I suppose it's one of those not so pleasant conversations you'll have to have sooner or later to see if there is a long-term future.

Mokuba

woodchuck wrote: »

Or they could move into the OPs house and she could rent her house out. Hopefully the rent would cover the mortgage repayments and way down the line when the mortgage is paid off, she/they might actually be able to turn a profit by renting it out.

Good point.

s4uv3

There are ways around it if you see a long term future together.
Could ye both live in your house and rent out hers to cover the mortgage?
If you sit and do the sums as if ye were married (hypothetically), ye're probably doing fairly alright overall. Two houses and one mortgage between ye isn't bad at all at all. But that only makes sense if ye see yerselves being together for the long haul.

I can see how it might be a problem if say you didn't already have a house and her house was unsuitable for settling down in (too small, wrong town, too old or whatever) but unless you both want to move somewhere different and need a mortgage for that it wouldn't be much of a problem.

She might be a third of the way through the mortgage already. Have ye done the sums on renting one out to see if the rent would cover the mortgage and tax due?

LegacyUser

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OP here, I did what I did for the career experience and seeing parts of the world that a normal person can’t rarely travel to, it just so happened luckily that it was well paid work.
I’m not worried about the financial position of the person, I’d be just as happy if they had no house etc and lived at home if we shared the same life goals.

The reason for the thread was seeing if I was missing some angle that caused the other guys to leave. The posts here have spelled it out pretty well..it may have been them making a mistake and I’ll gain a great woman from it

utyh2ikcq9z76b

Just don't get married and you should be fine, but you really should think about protecting the assets you have worked hard to build up. Let's say you marry and have children and the relationship falls apart, will you be liable for her debts as well as having to leave your home? Or could banks force you to sell to cover her debts if **** hit the fan.I mean just think of anything that could go wrong in the future. It's her debts and in no way should you have to pay anything to it, even allowing her to live with you free is subsidizing her. I think your right to be concerned.

drunkmonkey

The mortgage will be cleared someday then you have an income or asset for retirement. On a long enough time scale this isn't an issue to bother ye and shouldn't stand in the way of your relationship.
Get busy enjoying yourselves, don't get caught up in money and park the conversation until your pushed to make a decision and by the sounds of it yere along way from there yet.

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Big Bag of Chips

Just to point out that even if they do live together for a time it doesn't give her automatic right to 50% of everything. She may be entitled to a return of the percentage she invested in the house (if any).

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/property_rights_and_the_breakdown_of_a_cohabiting_relationship.html

Your house will belong to you unless you make arrangements to add her to the title deeds.

I think this is all very premature talk though and for now her finances and yours are completely separate so this is not/should not be an issue.

Mr. Incognito

Ah the Celtic Tiger days

A what- 300K mortgage to a 22 year old girl. Madness.

As other posters have pointed out unless she is crippled with mortgage payments and cannot afford to go anywhere and do anything I cant see how its an issue. This might have been the problem.

At this stage she has 10 years paid off. If your relationship progresses further then surely she moves in with you and rents it out to cover the mortgage, Easy.