Last few days with my dog - need advice

QueenMTBee

This breaks my heart but I've just brought my dog home from the vets because she has only days (at the most a few weeks) left to live and I'd rather she was here with me. She has renal failure and it's so advanced that her blood test results are higher than the machine can even process. She's been on iv fluids for three days and her bloods have barely moved so it's apparently final stage renal failure.

She's not in any pain currently and I won't keep her and make her suffer just because I can't bear to lose her but I don't want to give up too soon either. I don't really know what I'm asking. I've never gone through this before and I'm completely lost. She's literally my whole world. How do I know when it's time to let her go? What can I do to make this easier for her?

punisher5112

QueenMTBee wrote: »

This breaks my heart but I've just brought my dog home from the vets because she has only days (at the most a few weeks) left to live and I'd rather she was here with me. She has renal failure and it's so advanced that her blood test results are higher than the machine can even process. She's been on iv fluids for three days and her bloods have barely moved so it's apparently final stage renal failure.

She's not in any pain currently and I won't keep her and make her suffer just because I can't bear to lose her but I don't want to give up too soon either. I don't really know what I'm asking. I've never gone through this before and I'm completely lost. She's literally my whole world. How do I know when it's time to let her go? What can I do to make this easier for her?

Do everything you always have once not too stressful on the dog and obviously just be there for them.

Dogs don't like change but you been there will be nice for the dog and even you.

Remember the good times get a few pics together and so on.
It's a tough time but try be there for each other really and just remember the dog has had a great life and once you have treated them right you can take that as comfort.

I understand too early but consider getting a rescue dog or similar if it's something you could see yourself doing in time. Best of luck.

Adam261

I had a golden retriever for 9 years,from my childhood through my teens to my early twenties.he was an amazing dog and a great pal.
He died very unexpectedly when I was away at college and my parents waited until I came home the following week.
I was devastated,but at the same time it isn’t easy to watch your dog die(as my brother did at the time).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it will never be easy,there is no perfect time,I still miss him like mad and it’s been 4 years now.

If the vet has diagnosed end stage renal failure then unfortunately there isn’t any hope,it’s just a matter of time.
Prolonging her life isn’t going to cure this,my advice would be to give yourself a few days then let her go before she suffers.it won’t ever be easy

_Brian

I’m really sorry about your dog, nothing more useful to add.

QueenMTBee

Thanks everyone. She ate a little freshly cooked chicken but wouldn't touch anything else. She just wants to sleep curled into the duvet beside me. She seems happy enough - even got a little bum wiggle from her earlier - but the diarrhoea has already returned. She even had a few barks when someone went passed the window. I guess part of me is hoping that she'll just go peacefully in her sleep.

Zapperzy

In my final days with my dog I brought him on his final walk, wandered round the village at his pace. He wasn't able for much and I went at his pace, stopped and sniffed every blade of grass, carried him if he needed it. My mum slept on the couch beside him at night so he wasn't alone for his last few nights. Let him eat whatever he wanted or would eat which wasn't much.

Sorry to hear, it's an upsetting time, never easy.

jimf

never an easy decision I'm afraid

but its your final act of love for them they rely on you to make the hard decisions

thinking of you at this time have been there myself several times

CelticRambler

QueenMTBee wrote: »

She ate a little freshly cooked chicken but wouldn't touch anything else. She just wants to sleep curled into the duvet beside me. She seems happy enough - even got a little bum wiggle from her earlier - but the diarrhoea has already returned. She even had a few barks when someone went passed the window. I guess part of me is hoping that she'll just go peacefully in her sleep.

Unfortunately, makes for a horrible end, and it's unlikely she'll just go peacefully in her sleep. Even if you don't realise it, you are describing most of the worst signs: nausea, due to those off-the-scale parameters measured by the vet, and the diarrhoea means she's almost certainly suffering with gastric ulceration due to the same toxic products in her blood, plus fatigue and depression.

She will try to respond to you with a tail-wag and turn of her head, even try to eat, but that's because she knows you're upset and she's trying to reassure you.

QueenMTBee wrote: »

I won't keep her and make her suffer just because I can't bear to lose her but I don't want to give up too soon either.

It's not a question of "giving up". She is suffering. There is nothing you can do for her now, other than give her the gift of freedom from her suffering. The longer you wait and see her deteriorate, the more you'll wish you'd made the necessary decision sooner.

I've counselled a great number of pet owners who've reached this point, and almost all of those who say "just a few more days" regret it - especially those who actually witness the trauma of a natural death (rather than just finding their pet dead in the morning ) Euthanasia would be a far more dignified manner to send her on her way.

QueenMTBee

CelticRambler wrote: »

Unfortunately, makes for a horrible end, and it's unlikely she'll just go peacefully in her sleep. Even if you don't realise it, you are describing most of the worst signs.
It's not a question of "giving up". She is suffering. There is nothing you can do for her now, other than give her the gift of freedom from her suffering. The longer you wait and see her deteriorate, the more you'll wish you'd made the necessary decision sooner.

Would the vet not have suggested this to me as an option if it was at that stage already? He wanted to run one more test for a possible 1% chance it is addisons but that result won't come back til Tuesday. If she's in pain I cant let it wait that long.

Gael23

This is a really tough place to be and from experience end stage renal failure moves along very quickly, I would go with days rather than weeks. To answer your question, the time is when she stops eating and gets more and more lifeless to the point she will sleep round the clock. The diahhrea is not really a good sign, in the end with our guy he got extremely dehydrated from that and because his kidneys weren’t working we couldn’t rehydrate him fast enough. In the end he did die in his sleep, but that was only because he deteriorated so rapidly that day we hadn’t made the final decision on euthanasia when he died.

The vets may be able to give pain relief and that in the very short term but that’ will only prolong the inevitable.

elperello

QueenMTBee wrote: »

Would the vet not have suggested this to me as an option if it was at that stage already? He wanted to run one more test for a possible 1% chance it is addisons but that result won't come back til Tuesday. If she's in pain I cant let it wait that long.

I would wait until Tuesday and if the test is negative then do what is inevitable.

If it is any consolation to you there is no need to worry about her leaving. She will be there one second and gone the next. I used to dread that moment myself but had to do it a few times and got over the fear.
You will feel bad immediately afterwards but then you will realise you did the right thing.
If you like get someone to go with you.
If you don't get a new dog right away you might find it helpful to visit a friend or neighbour who has a dog and spend some time with him.

All the best.

cocker5

so sorry OP ...

look after yourself and spend as much time as you can with her X

zoe 3619

So sorry.Such a hugely hard thing to go through.
I'd agree with the poster above.Wait for the results on tuesday,then maybe let go if you need to.
There's been a couple of times that I couldn't bare to let go,and I'll always feel guilty for prolonging the inevitable.
Have a couple of snuggly duvet days together if you can,snacking on cake,steak,whatever your dog liked the look of but wasn't allowed.
Please don't upset yourself too much or feel guilty.You're not deciding this for your dog,but you can have a say on the terms on which it happens.x

jimf

maybe a home visit from the vet when the time comes would be easier for you

zoe 3619

zoe 3619 wrote: »

So sorry.Such a hugely hard thing to go through.
I'd agree with the poster above.Wait for the results on tuesday,then maybe let go if you need to.
There's been a couple of times that I couldn't bare to let go,and I'll always feel guilty for prolonging the inevitable.
Have a couple of snuggly duvet days together if you can,snacking on cake,steak,whatever your dog liked the look of but wasn't allowed.
Please don't upset yourself too much or feel guilty.You're not deciding this for your dog,but you can have a say on the terms on which it happens.x

Sorry.Did write you're NOT deciding this for your dog.

punisher5112

jimf wrote: »

maybe a home visit from the vet when the time comes would be easier for you

We had to do that recently as our last Labrador lost all power and couldn't move.

Poor thing knew well and unfortunately was crying.

But it was a comfort that we were all there with him and the vet was so good and the veteranery nurse.

They treated him with so much dignity and it was a horrible but lovely experience at the same time.

Never forget how much of a friend we had for over 14 years.

La.de.da

Aw. It's such an awful time.

Use these days to cuddle your dog, spoil her, and give her all the affection you can.

It sounds cliche but you will know when the time comes for the inevitable to happen.

Ye are in my thoughts x

QueenMTBee

Thanks for all the posts. It helps to know you've all been through it. I'm not sure I'll sleep much tonight but she's snuggled up beside me snoring. I'll see how she is in the morning but she's gone downhill since I first posted a few hours ago so I'm not sure we'll get as far as Tuesday - one day at a time I guess. Thanks again.

AndrewJRenko

QueenMTBee wrote: »

Thanks for all the posts. It helps to know you've all been through it. I'm not sure I'll sleep much tonight but she's snuggled up beside me snoring. I'll see how she is in the morning but she's gone downhill since I first posted a few hours ago so I'm not sure we'll get as far as Tuesday - one day at a time I guess. Thanks again.

Sorry to hear that. The best thing I did for our cat who went through kidney failure was to arrange for the vet to come to the house for the final step. It avoid the stress of the travel for the pet and gives you some privacy to grieve.

AiB123

You'll know when it's time to let her go.
Our family dog Holly was 16 when we put her to sleep, we got her when I was 6 and she was my best friend in the whole world.
It's the hardest thing to do and you'll wish you could explain to them why you have to do it, but you'll know when.
Just make sure she's comfortable and you're there. She'll know how much she's loved in her last days and weeks.
Take care.

Stoner

CelticRambler wrote:

I've counselled a great number of pet owners who've reached this point, and almost all of those who say "just a few more days" regret it - especially those who actually witness the trauma of a natural death (rather than just finding their pet dead in the morning ) Euthanasia would be a far more dignified manner to send her on her way.

We'd a collie for 15.5 years. She had multiple issues, a neighbor told my mother he was surprised that a person like her was keeping the dog alive while she was in pain. We had her put to sleep the next day. It was very difficult, but it gets to the point where the dog is being kept alive to suit the owner not the dog, obviously people don't realize that at the time.

We'd another dog years ago that at the age of 12 became ill, he went off himself away from the house to pass away in the church grounds.
Dogs are amazing animals, they will suffer through all sorts to please you and go to great lengths to spare you.

Sometimes at the end you need to release your friend from this burden.

I don't envy you at all. I hope it all goes as well as can be expected.

Jeff2

I hope your dogs goes peacefully in its sleep.

CelticRambler

QueenMTBee wrote: »

He wanted to run one more test for a possible 1% chance it is addisons but that result won't come back til Tuesday.

You haven't said how old your dog is, but I was assuming she was elderly. Addisons is a disease of young/middle-aged dogs (4-6 years) so it would be extremely unusual to be trying to confirm that in an older dog.

On the other hand, if she is a middle-aged dog (no more than 8) with off-the-scale results, then that changes everything ... but if that's the case, she should still be at the vets in intensive care.

QueenMTBee wrote: »

Would the vet not have suggested this to me as an option if it was at that stage already?

That all depends on the vet and his/her experience. Some focus more on diagnosing and treating the animal and not so much on caring for the owner. Even the "good" ones have a difficult time when faced with an owner who isn't prepared for bad news, or who wants to do "everything" before letting go.

La.de.da wrote: »

It sounds cliche but you will know when the time comes

AiB123 wrote: »

You'll know when it's time to let her go.

Stoner wrote: »

We'd a collie for 15.5 years. She had multiple issues, a neighbor told my mother he was surprised that a person like her was keeping the dog alive while she was in pain. We had her put to sleep the next day. It was very difficult, but it gets to the point where the dog is being kept alive to suit the owner not the dog, obviously people don't realize that at the time.

The vast majority of pet owners don't know when it's time, and a good vet should make the decision on behalf of both pet and owner. The bond between an owner and their pet is too strong for them to see things for how they really are, unless they've already gone through the experience before. Someone who's not as emotionally involved is in a much better position to decide what needs to be done.

tk123

QueenMTBee wrote: »

Would the vet not have suggested this to me as an option if it was at that stage already? He wanted to run one more test for a possible 1% chance it is addisons but that result won't come back til Tuesday. If she's in pain I cant let it wait that long.

In my experience and from friends the Vets will often discharge them to let you say your goodbyes. My cat had kindey failure and was at the stage where your dog is now.. I got him home Saturday morning and was ready to call the vets on the Sunday but they were closed.. I made the call first thing on the Monday

gilly 60

So sad for you. I have gone through this a few times in my life. Vets do their best but they never seem to tell you when its time for the dog to go, and will suggest new treatment that everybody knows is futile.
No matter how ill a dog is it will try and please you, wagging tail etc. From what you say its time to get the vet to call to your house if possible, its less distress on your dog.

jimf

how is doggy today

what I found with kidney failure is they improve greatly while on the drip but fall back quickly once off it again

I suppose the drip is diluting the toxins from the blood and keeping up hydration

Gael23

With my dog the drip wasn’t doing it’s work fast enough, the diarrhea just got so bad he was loosing fluid much quicker than it could be replaced. Gilly60 is right, a dog will always try to please you and I remember the last time I saw him, he never even make eye contact with me, that’s when I knew the end of the road was approaching.
OP one thing I’ll always remember is the movement the vets told us there was nothing they could do, they said to never for one minute think you could have done something sooner or wished you noticed something wrong sooner because it won’t have changed anything, particularly in an older dog.

QueenMTBee

I'll post in the other thread but just wanted to say thanks to everyone - you helped me make the right decision. The vet said I could probably drag it out for another week and she was the happiest dog he ever saw at that advanced stage. But I knew last night she was ready. She hated her paws being touched and she snuggled onto the pillow next to me and put her paw under my hand and looked straight into my eyes for ages. The vet came to my house and she went to sleep today curled up on her favourite duvet on the sofa with her head in my hands. My heart is broken but I know I loved her to the very last.

DBB

Aw no... You poor thing
I know your story will resonate with many here, myself included. It's a terrible place to be, we all dread it and the inevitability of it.
But I think you were seriously brave and absolutely right to let her go now, it's just not fair keeping a terminally ill dog going for the sake of a few more days if they're feeling sick. Incredibly hard as it is, letting her go while she was still in good enough form was absolutely right. You need to be able to look back without regret, albeit with heart-crushing sadness.
Look after yourself now... Feel free to talk here if you need to... You'll have plenty of understanding ears

anewme

I’ve literally just checked in here now to see how she was and seeing this update I’m gutted for you.

You did your best and you did the right thing for her.

This is the hardest time and the time in pet ownership when people say, never ever again, but focus on the many happy times you’ve had with her and the joy she’s brought to you and given the option, you’d make the same decision to have had her as part of your life ten times over.

Be kind to yourself.

jockeyboard

You made the right decision at the right time. Xx

Doctors room ghost

Sorry to hear about your dog and with any luck it might go itself when its asleep and comfortable at home.otherwise just put your own feelings aside and call it as it is if the dog is suffering a lot in the finish and do what's best for the dog.hopefully it won't go to that and it might go naturally.enjoy yere time together most importantly and I wish ye the best

Jimmy Bottlehead

I'm so sorry OP. I had a similar situation last Xmas and you can take solace knowing you saved her from additional pain and gave her a loving, dignified end. She had a good owner and I'm sure she knew it right to the end.

Take care.

DBB

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your dog and with any luck it might go itself when its asleep and comfortable at home.otherwise just put your own feelings aside and call it as it is if the dog is suffering a lot in the finish and do what's best for the dog.hopefully it won't go to that and it might go naturally.enjoy yere time together most importantly and I wish ye the best

The OP said goodbye to her dog today. The post updating us is only a few posts above this!

jimf

my heart goes out to you as I have been there myself and its never easy

as my dear old friend used to say if we didn't feel this way we shouldn't have them in the first place

you may not think this now but you will love again when another little buddy comes your way

I'm not saying now or in a few weeks time but you come across as a caring loving owner and it would be a shame not to share this again in the future when the time feels right for you

be kind to yourself and take solace from the fact you done all you could and had the strength to be there when she went peacefully at home where she was clearly loved and cherished

anewme

Take a duvet day tomorrow QueenMTBee...

jellybear

So sorry for your loss

So sorry to read this Queenmtbee. Had been following this thread. You did the kindest thing for your friend. Take care of yourself xx

Jeff2

QueenMTBee wrote: »

I'll post in the other thread but just wanted to say thanks to everyone - you helped me make the right decision. The vet said I could probably drag it out for another week and she was the happiest dog he ever saw at that advanced stage. But I knew last night she was ready. She hated her paws being touched and she snuggled onto the pillow next to me and put her paw under my hand and looked straight into my eyes for ages. The vet came to my house and she went to sleep today curled up on her favourite duvet on the sofa with her head in my hands. My heart is broken but I know I loved her to the very last.

You did the right thing.

I'm not long back from walking my little dog .....I won't go on.

Seems like it had a good owner and good life.

AndrewJRenko

Sorry for your loss. She looks like a lovely animal.

QueenMTBee

Is it normal to keep worrying that I did the right thing even though I know I did? I keep replaying the moment that she left over and over in my head and I'm so upset cos I don't know if she knew I was doing it cos I loved her. I know this is all jumbled.

I keep thinking of all the things I should have done different - more walks, less time away from her at work or sports, lots more cuddles. And the times I was cranky with her. She was the most adored little dog ever.

degsie

All part of the normal process. It will pass.

La.de.da

QueenMTBee wrote: »

Is it normal to keep worrying that I did the right thing even though I know I did? I keep replaying the moment that she left over and over in my head and I'm so upset cos I don't know if she knew I was doing it cos I loved her. I know this is all jumbled.

I keep thinking of all the things I should have done different - more walks, less time away from her at work or sports, lots more cuddles. And the times I was cranky with her. She was the most adored little dog ever.

Very normal. You're hurting. And grieving. Very powerful emotions. Shows how much you cared and loved her.

It'll get easier with time xx

elbyrneo

QueenMTBee wrote: »

Is it normal to keep worrying that I did the right thing even though I know I did? I keep replaying the moment that she left over and over in my head and I'm so upset cos I don't know if she knew I was doing it cos I loved her. I know this is all jumbled.

I keep thinking of all the things I should have done different - more walks, less time away from her at work or sports, lots more cuddles. And the times I was cranky with her. She was the most adored little dog ever.

You have just had a very similar experience to my own. I fretted too afterwards if we took the decision too early. But that worry soon passed and I know now (and strangely look back with a sense of pride as a dog owner/carer) that putting her to sleep, on her favourite blanket, with me curled up beside her and rubbing and reassuring her the whole time, was the kindest thing we could have done. But mostly it was the best thing for Jessi - my retreiver, 7 years at the time :-(

You did the right thing - be sad, but be proud of how you minded her just how she needed you to.

irishlady29

QueenMTBee wrote:

I'll post in the other thread but just wanted to say thanks to everyone - you helped me make the right decision. The vet said I could probably drag it out for another week and she was the happiest dog he ever saw at that advanced stage. But I knew last night she was ready. She hated her paws being touched and she snuggled onto the pillow next to me and put her paw under my hand and looked straight into my eyes for ages. The vet came to my house and she went to sleep today curled up on her favourite duvet on the sofa with her head in my hands. My heart is broken but I know I loved her to the very last.

This post litteraly brought a tear to my eye. What a kind and brave person you are, to do the right thing by your fur baby. A very difficult decision to make. Mind yourself OP over the coming weeks. A very sad time for you.

arybvtcw0eolkf

OP I hope I'm as strong and brave as you when the time to let go has come.

I've two, Richo and Ruby. I can't imagine life without them, esp Richo ~ he does or wants to do just about everything with me.

You were very good, very strong and very brave in the end OP.. Even putting your final days and hours to text showed courage and strength.

Peace

FrostyJack

My mothers dog has gone through the exact same symptoms the last few days, and the blood test today confirmed the worst. Though at decent age of 16/17 he has gone downhill in the last week. He can no longer stand any length of time on his back legs and will not eat or drink. I have told her the best course of action for him and hopefully within the next day or 2 he will get his well earned rest. She will be devastated when he goes, not looking forward to it at all.

Purple Mountain

Big hugs x

RabbleRouser2k

Very sorry for your loss. I relay things over, and over in my head about the dogs who have passed, so I understand your feelings. Some losses affect more than others. One such loss took me over a year to deal with.

I hope you remember her for the great times, and know that this was her time to go. We all have our time too go, and I'm glad she didn't suffer, for her and for your benefit.

stephrousseau

For what it's worth, I lost my dog just before Christmas. I had the emergency vet come to the house, and I really wish I'd gone earlier that day or waited until the next day and brought him to the vet I knew and trusted. It took a few attempts with the second injection (the first is a general anaesthetic so I don't think Alfie was aware of anything happening), and I was really traumatised. When, after about 6 attempts the vet confirmed he was gone I found it really hard to believe. I would have had much more faith in my own vet, whereas I doubted this vet was doing it right, worried he was scrimping on the volume of the euthenising drug to save money etc.

I know on one of the facebook groups I'm on they always say 'better a week too soon than a day too late', and I think that's wise. You have choices of who does it and where if you do it before the dog is in obvious pain. If you wait until she's in obvious pain you may not be able to choose who does it.

Sorry to be negative, but I regret the way he went much more than the fact that he did go, and if I can prevent someone from having such a traumatic experience, that's something!