Single dad, just learned I've to move out, what's my next move?

newboard

Hi all,
I've just learned that I've to move out of my current place in 3 months time.

I'm a single dad and this place has been perfect for my young daughter and I. My rent has been 650/month sharing, where I've been the main leaseholder and been able to dictate the rules of the place to ensure suitability for my daughter.

My chances of getting somewhere similar are essentially zero - firstly I can't expect a house share to accept someone with a daughter, and secondly even if they would, I wouldn't be able to ensure it'd be suitable for her in terms of compatible housemates, parties, people coming over etc.

As such my only option would be a 1 bed, but then you're talking at least double in rent.

Moving back into my mother's house is an option thankfully, even though it'll be tough. However, it would allow me to save ~15k over the next two years.

My current salary is 30k before tax. I expect this to increase to 42k+ in about 2 years (complicated situation).

I have no savings, but this could be the time to start saving towards a mortgage. If I could set a goal of getting my own place in the next X amount of years, this would make everything much easier to deal with.

I know next to nothing about mortgages and what I'd be eligible for, etc. Posting here was my first port of call, in the hopes that someone could at least point me in the right direction.

Advice really appreciated, thank you

kilburn

Dont have any advice but really wish you the best of luck

Richard tea

Have you been in touch with the council about your situation? It's a tough one alright. Hope things work out for you

newboard

Thanks for the replies.

Richard tea wrote: »

Have you been in touch with the council about your situation? It's a tough one alright. Hope things work out for you

I don't think I'd qualify for any type of social assistance? Sorry when I say single dad, I mean my daughter's mother and I aren't together, it's not that I'm a lone parent (in case that was cause of confusion).

Mrs OBumble

Talk nicely to your mother. It's not what I'd normally advise for anyone, but in your case it would be worth it for the savings, and also the better lifestyle for your kid (Assuming she likes her granny). And set yourself a savings goal and target for getting out of there too.

Also, if you're earning 30k, then register for the housing list now. You'll most likely never get offered a house, or be earning too much to still be eligible when you finally do. But just in case something goes wrong with the job or you get ill, it's good to be clocking up some time on the list anyways.

ForestFire

newboard wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.



I don't think I'd qualify for any type of social assistance? Sorry when I say single dad, I mean my daughter's mother and I aren't together, it's not that I'm a lone parent (in case that was cause of confusion).

Who is the primary gardian/ career for your daughter? You or your (ex)wife?

newboard

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Talk nicely to your mother. It's not what I'd normally advise for anyone, but in your case it would be worth it for the savings, and also the better lifestyle for your kid (Assuming she likes her granny). And set yourself a savings goal and target for getting out of there too.

Also, if you're earning 30k, then register for the housing list now. You'll most likely never get offered a house, or be earning too much to still be eligible when you finally do. But just in case something goes wrong with the job or you get ill, it's good to be clocking up some time on the list anyways.

Thanks for the advice. What I'm worried about is if I move back to my mother's, then the only good reason to move out of there will be to move into a place I'm buying. There are so many unknowns that I don't know how likely that is. I'm too old to be moving back to my mother's, I know it's much more common these days but it's not going to be easy.

I'm co-director of a small (but growing) company, and salary is a bit tough to define at the moment due to varying circumstances but as mentioned there's every expectation I'll be earning more in the coming years and this definitely will be the case in the next ~2 years. I don't know how that may or may not effect my eligibility for housing.

Any advice on who to talk to about this?

ForestFire wrote: »

Who is the primary gardian/ career for your daughter? You or your (ex)wife?

She is, but we were never married. I have our daughter 2-3 days a week.

dar100

newboard wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. What I'm worried about is if I move back to my mother's, then the only good reason to move out of there will be to move into a place I'm buying. There are so many unknowns that I don't know how likely that is. I'm too old to be moving back to my mother's, I know it's much more common these days but it's not going to be easy.

I'm co-director of a small (but growing) company, and salary is a bit tough to define at the moment due to varying circumstances but as mentioned there's every expectation I'll be earning more in the coming years and this definitely will be the case in the next ~2 years. I don't know how that may or may not effect my eligibility for housing.

Any advice on who to talk to about this?



She is, but we were never married. I have our daughter 2-3 days a week.

Claim the tax credit for your daughter

mojesius

I'd suggest biting the bullet and moving into your mother's for a few years with a view to saving for a deposit on your own home, if it's an option. Rents are crazy right now, hence why a lot of 'more mature' adults (like myself)! have moved back to their parents' homes. People don't really bat an eyelid these days. What you're paying your mother in rent, bills etc. will likely be less than a rental and will allow you to save. Sit down with her to discuss arrangements, iron out any concerns, understand what the ground rules are etc. first.

See if you can do a bank transfer for rent etc. every month to her to show prospective lenders that you're paying rent (as well as any child maintenance if this is being paid). If your earnings are due to increase in your company the next few years, that's an ideal time to approach a bank for a mortgage.

Best of luck

newboard

Thanks for the replies. Have barely slept with the worry.

dar100 wrote:

Claim the tax credit for your daughter

Thanks I'll ask my accountant about this

mojesius wrote:

See if you can do a bank transfer for rent etc. every month to her to show prospective lenders that you're paying rent (as well as any child maintenance if this is being paid). If your earnings are due to increase in your company the next few years, that's an ideal time to approach a bank for a mortgage.

Didn't think of that, worth looking into thanks.

There's another option I didn't think of - my current flatmate would also have to move out too. We could potentially look for a new place together. It'd be more than what I'm paying at the moment, but would be an easy transition for my daughter, and even if my current flatmate moved out I would be the primary leaseholder for any new tenants coming in so again I'd be able to ensure suitability for my daughter.

However, I'm not sure if I want to pay a good bit more rent for what would likely be a worse place than what I currently have, and maybe it is time to look towards getting a mortgage instead.

What are realistic minimums for mortgages these days (in Dublin)?

Thanks again

mojesius

Moving home is a no brainer imo, even if you didn't have to move out of your current place I'd still move home if it was me, why pay rent if living at home is an option especially as it's a house share with a stranger. Be a bit different if living alone but for me anyway living at home would be miles ahead of housesharing with someone and if trying to save it would be preferable to any other option.

mojesius wrote: »

See if you can do a bank transfer for rent etc. every month to her to show prospective lenders that you're paying rent (as well as any child maintenance if this is being paid). If your earnings are due to increase in your company the next few years, that's an ideal time to approach a bank for a mortgage.

Best of luck

Firstly I'd hope his mother won't go looking for rent of her son, share of bills and food shopping, help with a repair etc of course but regular rent to live at home is a concept I never understood (nor do my parents understand either) especially when someone is trying to save hard.

Secondly and more importantly remember that a child renting from their parent is not covered under the rent a room scheme so any bank transfers of rent could land the mother with a tax bill.

Pelvis

You've no savings and no prospect of buying a home right now. That is not going to change anytime soon if you have to rent a place on your own.

Moving back in with your mum seems like the only logical thing to do here. However, getting the savings together is one thing, but you need to try and get the salary up to. In most cases you'll only get a mortgage 3.5 times your salary, it could be even less in your case as you have a dependent. So, if you live in or near Dublin for instance, even a 42k salary won't be enough to actually buy anything, unless you somehow manage to save a monster deposit.

newboard

Pelvis wrote: »

You've no savings and no prospect of buying a home right now. That is not going to change anytime soon if you have to rent a place on your own.

Moving back in with your mum seems like the only logical thing to do here. However, getting the savings together is one thing, but you need to try and get the salary up to. In most cases you'll only get a mortgage 3.5 times your salary, it could be even less in your case as you have a dependent. So, if you live in or near Dublin for instance, even a 42k salary won't be enough to actually buy anything, unless you somehow manage to save a monster deposit.

What's a monster deposit?

Pelvis

newboard wrote: »

What's a monster deposit?

Well, to buy in Dublin I think you'd need a minimum budget of 200k to buy something, though 200k would not get you much.

So assuming you're on 42k and the bank give you 3.5 times that, 126k. You'd need to make up the other 74k. Not very feasible.

To be a sole buyer in Dublin you'd need a min salary of 50k imo, and be willing to "settle" in terms of the house you get and the area you want to live in. There are slim pickings out there at the moment.

Of course, the further away from Dublin you get, the greater your options, in terms of the size and quality of the property.

tusk

Pelvis wrote: »

So assuming you're on 42k and the bank give you 3.5 times that, 126k. You'd need to make up the other 74k. Not very feasible.

3.5 would get you 147k mortgage, but everything pelvis says is bang on. With a 10% deposit you're looking at a value of around 163k which would mean you're looking at something like a 1 or 2 bed apartment around Clondalkin/Tallaght in the current market.

To be honest, if security and safety is your main priority, it seems like moving home is your only option as the way rents are going these days, there is neither safety nor security.

Pelvis

tusk wrote: »

3.5 would get you 147k mortgage, but everything pelvis says is bang on. With a 10% deposit you're looking at a value of around 163k which would mean you're looking at something like a 1 or 2 bed apartment around Clondalkin/Tallaght in the current market.

Woops, this is what happens when you do math in bed.

clint_silver

tusk wrote: »

3.5 would get you 147k mortgage, but everything pelvis says is bang on. With a 10% deposit you're looking at a value of around 163k which would mean you're looking at something like a 1 or 2 bed apartment around Clondalkin/Tallaght in the current market.

To be honest, if security and safety is your main priority, it seems like moving home is your only option as the way rents are going these days, there is neither safety nor security.

Just to note op is on 30k with a dependent.

The 42k in 2 years shouldnt be discussed for purposes of a mortgage here as an immediate solution is sought.

I looked recently for myself and without any outstanding loans and with 4 kids was reduced down to about 60% the 3.5 calculation so roughly 10% per child.
Then on current salary op can only get 3.5x 27k. Which realistically wont get on the ladder here in any part of town.

Moving back in with mother looks to be not just only option but if long term savings track record for 2 years hence is big goal looks to be a very sensible one.
And definitely get on the housing list.

I really wish you all the best in the future.

NollagShona

Best of luck op. You seem to have gotten good advice here

newboard

Thanks again for the replies. On one hand it's good to be forced to look ahead to the future, on the other hand these are really not ideal circumstances.

I am confident I could hit 50k salary in the next 3-4 years, so while right now the situation isn't great over time things should improve, and if I can form a 'getting out' goal to work towards that would make things a lot more bearable.

If I was at 50k in 4 years, that's probably a mortgage of around 225k with around 50k of savings (if all goes well).

However who knows where the market will be in that time. I'd also be touching on 40 at that stage, and I assume that effects your eligibility for a mortgage too?

clint_silver

newboard wrote: »

Thanks again for the replies. On one hand it's good to be forced to look ahead to the future, on the other hand these are really not ideal circumstances.

I am confident I could hit 50k salary in the next 3-4 years, so while right now the situation isn't great over time things should improve, and if I can form a 'getting out' goal to work towards that would make things a lot more bearable.

If I was at 50k in 4 years, that's probably a mortgage of around 225k with around 50k of savings (if all goes well).

However who knows where the market will be in that time. I'd also be touching on 40 at that stage, and I assume that effects your eligibility for a mortgage too?

Just the term. Youd only be looking at a 25yr mortgage if 65 is the longest youll be working for
Really factor in life. If your current child is the only one you will have take 10% off the calculations. So 3.5x45k if youre looking to the future and think youll be earning 50k.

King of Kings

just to say , you could look for another father in a situation like yours.
Maybe you know somebody .

I was renting a double room in my house (I'd a son with my ex) and met a local fella around my age with a son.
He stayed 2 years and it worked well...not perfect but well.

only difference was I did own the house but it could work the same.

Paddytheman

There was a show on RTE called this crowded house. One single guy in Navan on similar money to yourself and one in Swords with a child that stays with him a few days a week. The show isn't great viewing but if you watched these two episodes alone they will both open your eyes and give you a lot of the information you are looking for. Best of luck...

68 lost souls

clint_silver wrote: »

Just the term. Youd only be looking at a 25yr mortgage if 65 is the longest youll be working for
Really factor in life. If your current child is the only one you will have take 10% off the calculations. So 3.5x45k if youre looking to the future and think youll be earning 50k.

Dont forget they would also look at repayment capacity which is lowered by approximetly 250 per child a month I believe, a repayment of 225000 at current rates over 25 years is €1100ish plus the 250 means you need to show the bank that you are capable of saving at least €1350 a month.

As a co-director in a company does that make you self employed? I believe they look for 4 years accounts for self employed applicants so while things might be tough for you OP if you can do your best to knuckle down and save as best you can for the next 4 years hopefully it will be all worth it for you and your kid. Best of luck

johnnyskeleton

newboard wrote: »

Moving back into my mother's house is an option thankfully, even though it'll be tough. However, it would allow me to save ~15k over the next two years.

My current salary is 30k before tax. I expect this to increase to 42k+ in about 2 years (complicated situation).

I have no savings, but this could be the time to start saving towards a mortgage. If I could set a goal of getting my own place in the next X amount of years, this would make everything much easier to deal with.

This seems like the obvious choice to me. Move in with your mam and save as much as you can, work out what youd need to get a mortgage etc and in two years time youll hopefully have a deposit and a higher salary. Ita also possible, but by no means guaranteed, that property prices will have gone down a bit by that stage!

HelgaWard

Could you just rent a room for yourself in a house share, and when you have your daughter both stay in your Mams?

ouxbbkqtswdfaw

There's nothing wrong with living with your mother. Both parties will benefit. Don't put any time limit on it. I guarantee it will all work out for the best.

newboard

Thanks for all the replies everyone, much appreciated.

The initial shock has dissipated and while it's going to be tough, I'm thankful to be heading into this next phase of my life sooner rather than later.

The main thing that's worrying me now is how bad the market is, and how restrictive the 3.5x salary rate is. Even if I hit 60k over the next few years that's still not going to give many options for buying in Dublin.

While I could take living with my mother for a couple of years, the thoughts of living there indefinitely while earning a pretty good salary but having no options because of the market is very disheartening.

jobless

newboard wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies everyone, much appreciated.

The initial shock has dissipated and while it's going to be tough, I'm thankful to be heading into this next phase of my life sooner rather than later.

The main thing that's worrying me now is how bad the market is, and how restrictive the 3.5x salary rate is. Even if I hit 60k over the next few years that's still not going to give many options for buying in Dublin.

While I could take living with my mother for a couple of years, the thoughts of living there indefinitely while earning a pretty good salary but having no options because of the market is very disheartening.

best of luck..... i think you are making the right decision.... hopefully in a couple years you will be in a place to buy....

karenalot

newboard wrote: »

The main thing that's worrying me now is how bad the market is, and how restrictive the 3.5x salary rate is. Even if I hit 60k over the next few years that's still not going to give many options for buying in Dublin.

There was talk of an affordable housing scheme being launched soon by the government. They are supposed to be modeling this on a group of Ballymun houses that were recently sold by developers from 140k each.

http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/affordable-housing-scheme-to-help-struggling-buyers-460862.html

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/housing-co-op-sells-dublin-houses-for-140-000-1.3147094?mode=amp



Just a note if you are self employed, most banks look for 3 years certified accounts (ie signed off by an accountant) and some will only take the average of your combined salary over those 3 years. Make sure your accounts are in order from day one.

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

Cyrus

newboard wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies everyone, much appreciated.

The initial shock has dissipated and while it's going to be tough, I'm thankful to be heading into this next phase of my life sooner rather than later.

The main thing that's worrying me now is how bad the market is, and how restrictive the 3.5x salary rate is. Even if I hit 60k over the next few years that's still not going to give many options for buying in Dublin.

the 3.5x multiplier is there to protect people from themselves, keep prices somewhat in check and also give you some scope to have leeway should your circumstances change.

you should use the time living with your mum to investigate other areas that may be suitable i.e. a reasonable commute to your ex's and work but not necessarily in dublin.