We're not official, am i over thinking?

LegacyUser

Been on about 15 dates with a guy dating three months.

My friend is online on POF and she sees him online. I was aware he had a profile as we met online but he took his pics down which was fine. He says all the right things and seems to be crazy about me.

He would be annoyed if I was online on dating site, and we have agreed we would just date eachother and see how it goes.
I confronted him and he denied doing anything wrong. It's such early days and I dont want trust issues to arise when everything else has been good. Good spark etc, all there.

Despite him not being my boyfriend im disappointed and feel a bit disrespected. He is full of apologies and knows je ****ed up. Its not an isolated incident as his phone bleeped with a tinder notification but that was in early stages when we had 3 or 4 dates and I didn't make a big deal.

Keep or get rid?

SimpleDimples

15 dates is enough to know where things stand.

If you don't know, it probably isn't good.

wirelessdude01

I think you really need to just sit down with him and have a conversation with him. At this stage you really should know where you stand with him.

What ages are ye?

LegacyUser

OP here.
I am 27 and he is 29.

I thought I did know where I stood. We had the exclusivity chat and I have stuck to it.
We talked about what it meant. He deleted his profile himself, I didn't ask him to. He was almost annoyed I didn't give him an ultimatum to do that.
I've said it isn't good enough at this point if he is messaging other people. He admitted to replying to some girl he had been messaging ages ago, thought it was "harmless". He used to date loads, seems it's tough for him to date one person.

wirelessdude01

Looks like you have a decision to make then. After 3 months he should really have stopped all contact with others from those sites.

Ursus Horribilis

He has an odd attitude to it all, don't you think? Deleting a dating app shouldn't be any big deal once you've met someone. And yep, after 3 months he has no business replying to anyone on any site or any app. I get the impression you don't fully trust him.

Jasper_

Maybe its just me, but I take great pleasure in deleting all dating apps once I know I have met the right person.

leggo

This is simple: you caught him. He was saying one thing to you, expects something from you, then does the opposite himself. This is how any potential relationship is going to be and you can expect to be cheated on routinely if you go into this, you’re just making excuses for him because you’re attracted to him if you believe otherwise.

Boardno1

If everything else in your relationship is going well then I'd take this as a moment to stand your ground and let him know you mean business. Tell him how you truly feel and if he does like you and want this to go somewhere he'd respect this and show you he means it (take down the pages, be open etc). It is still pretty early and sometimes people don't really think about how the other person in the relationship would feel at this stage..

LegacyUser

Cheers for the different perspectives.

I understand where people are coming from saying I should know where I stand. To give context he is single 2 years and I'm around 6 months.
He had been laying cards out since the start saying he felt like we had potential but I was a bit more reserved.
He introduced me to friends and his brother but I was more laid back about things.
Thinking about things I have been giving mixed messages too. Essentially wanting him to commit without a label.

I was worried if I didn't let him in he would get bored or feel I was stringing him along. Him being online on POF kind of confirmed my feelings that I want to take things further. We are in agreement not to date anyone else and take it really slow.
I can't expect him to give me the best of both worlds without repercussions, i.e potentially losing a really rare ans good thing.