Unwanted Gift ~ What To Say?

Stigura

I hope ye don't think this too trivial for this board? I can't think where else to put it.

I have just received a birthday present from my brother. It's a boxed set that sells for about €250+. That's insane enough as it is. But, it's by a performer in who I lost all interest decades ago!

I've just put it away in my store room. It'll be there when I'm found dead. But, right now, my bro's expecting an email from me. What, in gods name, can I say?! My mind's just freezing up in horror.

ASOT

You can start by not being ungrateful and saying thanks regardless if you wanted it/will use it.

OttoPilot

Stigura wrote: »

I hope ye don't think this too trivial for this board? I can't think where else to put it.

I have just received a birthday present from my brother. It's a boxed set that sells for about €250+. That's insane enough as it is. But, it's by a performer in who I lost all interest decades ago!

I've just put it away in my store room. It'll be there when I'm found dead. But, right now, my bro's expecting an email from me. What, in gods name, can I say?! My mind's just freezing up in horror.

Lie and say you love it? What's to be gained from telling him you don't want it?

GingerLily

Thank you for your gift - it was very generous of you - I had a great day yada yada yada.......

Stigura

ASOT wrote: »

You can start by not being ungrateful and saying thanks regardless if you wanted it/will use it.

Thanks. But, it's got nothing to do with ingratitude. I fully appreciate the magnitude of the gesture. I just feel I should be coming over as all excited and blown away. Enthusing about various tracks I've never even heard.

I guess I'm just facing a situation where I have to lie through my teeth. I'm not good at that. It's not easy for me. Posting here was an act of desperation. I don't know what I thought anyone could say.

But, if you got off on chiding me? At least my posting has served someone some benefit.

Thanks, everyone. I'll unsubscribe now and shall just practice doing what I know I'll have to do.

Addle

You're overthinking it.
Maybe you're in shock because of his generosity.
Just say thanks.

Rubberchikken

Nothing worse than something you dont want or already have. And it cost a lot.
Just say thanks. Tell him how much youll look forward to watching it. He meant well.

Ursus Horribilis

Does anyone go on at length and in detail about any present they got? Just say thanks and that he was very kind. Then move in from there.

Addle

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Does anyone go on at length and in detail about any present they got? Just say thanks and that he was very kind. Then move in from there.

Exactly. Tell the truth.
Thanks. Very generous. Big surprise.
No need for lies or exaggeration.

December2012

“You're very kind. I haven’t seen / listened / read some of these for years! How are you?”

Done

Fakediamond

If it’s around for decades, maybe it didn’t cost anywhere near €250. Maybe he got it for €25 on donedeal!

mr_edge_to_you

Fakediamond wrote: »

If it’s around for decades, maybe it didn’t cost anywhere near €250. Maybe he got it for €25 on donedeal!

Maybe he did get it for €25. Am I the only who thinks buying your brother or sister a €250 present for Christmas is a bit much (ordinarily)? Did you actually open it and look at it?

My wife got me a t-shirt at Christmas which was nice - nothing extravagant. Needless to say I thanked her but she could gauge from my reaction that I didn’t open it properly as there was 2 tickets to a sold out gig for my favorite singer wrapped in it, which I was thrilled to receive. Maybe there’s more to it?

Anyway, just thank him and move on. You don’t have to have say you love it. Just thank him for the very thoughtful gift.

Big Bag of Chips

There's a few things here.

Your brother might not have bought it. It could have been regifted. Or he might have bought it at a very reduced price. Or he might have paid €250 for it but could well afford it. Is he usually extravagant with gifts?

You don't have to be gushing and insincere or "lying through your teeth". You said he's expecting an email. Send him an email saying as other have mentioned "Wow, blast from the past. Thanks. Hope you had a good new year. We had to bring the dog to the vet with a brussels sprout stuck in his paw" or similar. Just thank him and move on with the news.

Tenigate

Horror, you say? Sounds terrible. I'm sure your brother didn't want his gift to elicit that emotion.

The tricky thing about gifts is most are how hard it is to buy for someone. It's actually easier to spend a lot of money than to spend a little when choosing a thoughtful gift. Everyone has everything they need, and most people are in a quest to declutter so gifts like gift sets and box sets feel almost intrusive.

Well, the first thing to do is to open it. Listen to a track you used to enjoy the most. Or leave it on in the background while you're doing some housework or having a bath. Hopeful you'll feel something.. nostalgia maybe, or at least happy that your bro remembered something silly like that from so long ago. You might end up enjoying the music in spite of yourself.

Next thing is to call your brother. Tell him you're listening to it. He'll no doubt be glad his gift was appreciated, (or at least the thought of it!) Sure, it didn't change your life. But I'm sure you'd be more disappointed if he didn't think of you at all.

And.. when you're ready, see if you can find a new home for it. You might not love it, but if you give it to a charity shop someone else might. Not only that, but the proceeds of the sale would help someone less well off.

Paddy Cow

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Does anyone go on at length and in detail about any present they got? Just say thanks and that he was very kind. Then move in from there.

Some people go to on and on about presents they give. Did you like it? Have you worn it/watched it yet? I thought you'd really love it..... I've had to act overly excited about something I had no interest in because my sister got it and she thought I'd love it. She'd have been crushed if she knew I was indifferent.

Tenigate

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Some people go to on and on about presents they give. Did you like it? Have you worn it/watched it yet? I thought you'd really love it..... I've had to act overly excited about something I had no interest in because my sister got it and she thought I'd love it. She'd have been crushed if she knew I was indifferent.

I think women are more like that then men. They spend a lot of time on choosing presents and want them to be appreciated. Best way to appreciate the gift is to appreciate the thought and effort that went into choosing it. Rather than the fact it's really just an inanimate object and you would have bought it yourself long ago if you actually wanted it.
And by using the gift, even just making an attempt to use it or enjoy it, you're showing as much respect in receiving the gift as the person did in giving it. Of course some effort is involved but just do it, get it out of the way, and say "thanks, i love it"

qwerty13

I genuinely don’t understand your dilemma.

Tell him thank you, that you appreciate his gift, thank him for a blast from the past, tell him that he was so thoughtful to remember. Job done.

Why would you almost feel compelled to criticise his gift, as in ‘I don’t like this thing any more’. I’m a bit too literal/honest myself about what I like/dislike, but I think you are carrying this (and your worries about it) to extremes.