Life.....

khaldrogo

What's the point?

I mean, why the rush, panic to do this and get that, we all die.

I realize I've no right feeling like this at my age (mid 30s) but here I am.
I've always had, not a a fear of death, but I've always said I never want to die. There's so much yet to be known. The futility of it all. Then I look at my kids, my wonderful beautiful girls and know that they too will die some day and it's all I can think about.
I can only get to sleep some nights by thinking about good memories from my youth etc.

I look at the night sky and wish to know what's out there but realize I'll never know.

I'm drunk if that's not clear. But still serious.

My childhood was rather nice, at least the parts I can remember.

My teens were a living nightmare of bullying, high expectations from others, and black hatred of everyone.

My twenties were a stoned excess with pathetic dating intermixed with a rather frustrating career. Lots of fun with my small circle of friends.

My thirties were a sense of discovery. Travelled throughout Eastern Europe, Asia, M.East and parts of Africa. Discovered the joys of racial and cultural diversity of women. hmm.. Asian women. Packed in my career for a new one.

My forties have just started. Another new phase. Another new career. And while I'm frustrated with my current income, I love my life, experience, and sense of value in myself.

I have zero fear of death. I've been close to it quite a few times, and while I'm sure there's plenty left to be scared of, I have no sense of loss in finishing things tomorrow. I am somewhat jealous of people who married, had kids etc, but it just never happened to me. Never met anyone I could stand longer than a few years. Still... early days yet.

I'm not terribly serious about life. I find that people tend to take things too seriously, and not enjoy themselves enough. Again, though, my perspective is lacking a wife/kids. I'm mostly alone and independent. I could get depressed (and I sometimes do but it rarely lasts longer than a day) but what's the point? I have one life. It's not like there's a restart button anywhere. I checked.

And OP... Judging from some of my married friends, who have children, life can be very good. Chin up! Life's what you make of it.

drunkmonkey

Point is Pizza

worded

khaldrogo wrote: »

I'm drunk if that's not clear. But still serious.

Everyone dies but it not everyone lives or something along those lines

Drink is a depressive, maybe you drink too much or it doesn’t suit you?

thedeere

Oh my god it’s good to be alive.

worded

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Point is Pizza

That’s very deep

Deep pan pizza .... mmmmm

thedeere

worded wrote: »

That’s very deep

Deep pan pizza .... mmmmm

Pizza makes you obese.

khaldrogo

worded wrote:

Drink is a depressive, maybe you drink too much or it doesn’t suit you?

Once a month if that tbh.

Always felt like this, long before I was able to drink.


I could say more to explain what I meant but it's too depressing to think about

OldMrBrennan83

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Blacktie.

Patww79 wrote:

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Why what dramatic change happens after 30 that it's good before then and bad after?

OldMrBrennan83

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Jobs OXO

khaldrogo wrote: »

What's the point?

I mean, why the rush, panic to do this and get that, we all die.

I realize I've no right feeling like this at my age (mid 30s) but here I am.
I've always had, not a a fear of death, but I've always said I never want to die. There's so much yet to be known. The futility of it all. Then I look at my kids, my wonderful beautiful girls and know that they too will die some day and it's all I can think about.
I can only get to sleep some nights by thinking about good memories from my youth etc.

I look at the night sky and wish to know what's out there but realize I'll never know.

I'm drunk if that's not clear. But still serious.

Oh life, oh life, I'm afraid of the dark. Especially when I'm in a park and there's no one else around. Ooh, I get the shivers, I don't want to see a ghost
It's a sight that I fear most, I'd rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere Name the place, I'll be there. Life, oh life. So after all is said and done I know I'm not the only one. Life indeed can be fun. If you really want to sometimes living out your dreams ain't as easy as it seems. You wanna fly around the world in a beautiful balloon

Lorelli!

I think most people, every now and then get an uncomfortable awareness of their own mortality OP. It's horrible but it just comes into your mind sometimes and then it passes.

I had it quite bad after losing a friend a couple of years ago and I still get moments where I think about them and the realization that they are gone.

Wibbs

Jobs OXO wrote: »

You wanna fly around the world in a beautiful balloon

Not me thanks.


Meh, life has its ups and downs but for me it beats the alternative.

5rtytry56

thedeere wrote: »

Pizza makes you obese.

no no no no no deere!!! This is NOT AH

OldRio

I'm 60 years old next year. I've done many things in my life.
Lads, you're still learning the job for the first 30 years. A wee young buck with the best bits still to come.
I've experienced so much more in the last 30 than the first 30.
Women, art, friends, travel, nature food and wine. Even sport ( I had to give up Rugby but learnt to ride a horse.) Life in general is better.
Keep yourself fit mentally physically and spiritually.
Enjoy it.

Blacktie.

Patww79 wrote:

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Well this sounds like a very depressing attitude to have towards life.

johnnyskeleton

Life is wasted on the living.

- Douglas Adams

Plopsu

Best to accept that there simply is no point... and then go from there. All we really are is just compost for the next crop.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Life is a crazy bunch of ups and downs. Currently at 34 I feel like things are great for me - happily married, recently had our first baby which is a great adventure and no financial issues. I look at the past and there is not much I would change I think and I like the present.

That said, I can be pessimistic about some things, namely my future career prospects. I work in IT which is a strong industry at the moment but I do wonder what my career prospects will be like in 20-30 years time. IT does seem like a young person's games and with the retirement age increasing, I would not be surprised if my retirement age is 70. I wonder how many people will be able to hold down a decent paying job in the private sector until that age.

To be frank I need to give myself a kick up the hole in the new year. I want to create a reasonable career plan for myself (not looking to be a CEO but do want to remain employable, relevant and earning a decent salary), need to exercise more and also need to improve my social life (settled in a rural area with a kid can be detrimental to that )

I know a few older men that I really admire when I talk to them. They adapted throughout their life working in many different industries and having a good lifestyle, those guys are cool. Now it's not all about work, but that is the area I would be most negative about in the future. I see work as something that allows me to do the things I like by using the salary I receive.

khaldrogo

khaldrogo wrote: »

What's the point?

I mean, why the rush, panic to do this and get that, we all die.

A lot of things we do in life are goal orientated. So they have a "point" as in an ultimate goal or outcomes you are working towards. Be it going to college or merely going to the shop - we generally "do X because I want Y".

The same kind of thinking does not work - for me - when it comes to finding a "point" in life. Rather life is one of those situations of "The Journey is the destination".

When I start(ed) looking at life that way there was a massive perspective shift on a lot of things that cascaded through my view of life. And the idea there needed to be - or that I required - a "point" to life just fell away. It became it's own end in itself. Life did not have a point - life was the point.

So much so that even sitting around worrying about the "point" of life - or trying to find out - started to seem like an unconscionable squandering of the little time we get. And every second spent pondering the fact my children will be dead some day became a second wasted not in celebration of the fact they are not dead _now_.

Chancer3001

Agree 100% with the op.

I have the exact same outlook as you.

Find it hard to enjoy anythung for too long

Like Xmas at home with parents, this is great , but then it switches to, well they'll die soon. And me too.

Walking the beach and it's beautiful , fuk sake this is so nice it's so unfair that I have to be dead for eternity

If one's attention span for this subject extends to a one or two hour conversation - then coincidentally Sam Harris had a discussion this week with David Benatar. Benatar is someone who espouses the philosophy that life is not particularly worth living - and creating new sentience life in the universe (such as having children) is morally questionable.

I am only 20 minutes into the talk myself - but Benatar is so far challenging a few of my natural intuitions and preconceptions on life. Whatever your view of the value of life - or your own life - actually is I think it is challenging to formulate that in a way that actually rebuts some of his points and arguments and thoughts on the matter.

Chancer3001

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Walking the beach and it's beautiful , fuk sake this is so nice it's so unfair that I have to be dead for eternity

Nobody knows what happens after we die. So anything is possible.

Why focus on the negatives? If you're that unhappy then change your existing lifestyle, find new activities/pursuits, and enjoy what you have "remaining".

Find it hard to enjoy anythung for too long

Same, but TBH I've met very few people who do. Most get bored. Even with happiness, and fun.

Chancer3001

It's not that I'm unhappy.

I'm so happy that I'm annoyed it all has to end

Plopsu

Chancer3001 wrote: »

It's not that I'm unhappy.

I'm so happy that I'm annoyed it all has to end

Are you also having trouble fitting all you large bank notes into your wallet? Are your diamond shoes too tight?

Chancer3001

Id just get a larger wallet. Or larger shoes.

Can't just live forever tho

kerryjack

The way I look at it is yes you die but you live on in your kids your kids are a mini version of you, I look in the mirror and I see my father looking out at me So for me I see my own father every day although he has passed on.

Plopsu

Chancer3001 wrote: »

Can't just live forever tho

At the rate the genetic revolution is going, that might just be a matter of how old you are now.

Plopsu

Plopsu wrote: »

At the rate the genetic revolution is going, that might just be a matter of how old you are now.

Or the willingness to attempt going digital with your consciousness.

utyh2ikcq9z76b

kerryjack wrote: »

The way I look at it is yes you die but you live on in your kids your kids are a mini version of you, I look in the mirror and I see my father looking out at me So for me I see my own father every day although he has passed on.

It's actually more than that, they hold your genetic code so they really are you.

OldMrBrennan83

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DEFTLEFTHAND

Patww79 wrote: »

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You don't have to get out the pipe and slippers either.

Triceratops Ballet

Chancer3001 wrote: »

It's not that I'm unhappy.

I'm so happy that I'm annoyed it all has to end

If life was infinite it wouldn't be as precious. We're here for a drop in the in the ocean of infinite time. Take that annoyance and turn it into passion, live as fully as you can as often as you can for all the time you have left, try not to waste time being annoyed at something so inevitable

Crypto Coin

Patww79 wrote: »

It's the only one I've ever known really. No ideas above my station running around acting the young fella in my 30's.

Just do whatever you want to do, stop complicating everything. There is no point to life, so just enjoy yourself.

OldMrBrennan83

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Crypto Coin

Patww79 wrote: »

I keep myself to myself and I'm not doing anyone any harm. I did all I want up until 30 anyway (bar probably career which passed me by) so I suppose I have to be happy enough.

Why not continue to do all you want, what is stopping you?

OldMrBrennan83

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HandsomeBob

worded wrote: »

Drink is a depressive, maybe you drink too much or it doesn’t suit you?

Drink just brings out what's there already. The OP sounds like a thoughtful person but of course it's best not to dwell on the realities of life too much. It's ok to be worried about your child but if they're mortality is keeping one awake at night, it's better to talk to someone about it instead of dismissively talking about drink being a depressant.

Life to me is what it is at this stage for me at 30 years of age. I'm thankful for being here but the futility of it all does play on my mind at times. It has to for everyone doesn't it? Best solution is to spend how you want to and with the people you want to.

I like to think that when my time comes, it won't be too cruel and that I'll be ready for it by then having watched many go before me.

Crypto Coin

Patww79 wrote: »

What I was originally saying, life now isn't built for old people. Especially career.

What can't you do at 30 in your career that you could when younger?

DEFTLEFTHAND

Patww79 wrote: »

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Usually careers are made in the 30s, it's when the hard work finally begins paying off.

If the situation is that you don't like the career you're in then it's not too late to change, I've known people older than you (presuming you're 37/38 going by your username) who've made a change.

Patww79

Patww79 wrote: »

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Um, compared with any other part of history... being old is far better in modern times. You live longer, can be far more active (physically/mentally), and society has far more services/benefits to help the elderly.

As for careers, it really depends on what you're doing, and what you consider worth investing your time in. I have a close friend in his late 70s from the US, who didn't want to retire, moved to China, got himself a 40-year-old girlfriend, and is a lecturer in University.

Personally, I've changed my "career" four times in my life, and I suspect I'll do so again within the next few years. You can make a reasonable income without playing the career game.

OldMrBrennan83

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Dial Hard

Patww79 wrote:

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Jesus Christ, dude, you're in your 30s and you've mentally checked out already.

My dad is 71, still refs UCL matches every week, is still very hands-on in the company he owns, goes on four or five holidays a year and is generally happy as a pig in sh*t.

You're in the prime of your life and you've written yourself off and by the sounds of things don't even have a particularly misspent youth to be nostalgic about. That's genuinely no way to live and it actually sounds a bit like you might be suffering from depression.

I'll be 36 next month and while I'm certainly nowhere near where I want to be career-wise, I feel great. I'm young, I'm strong, I'm fit, I'm healthy. I can still laugh about drawing a giant cock and balls on my my sister's car in the supermarket car park. I've an amazing holiday to look forward to with my extended family next year. My life isn't what I thought it would be in my 20s, but it's still good.

You can't just draw and arbitrary line in the sand at 30 and decide "That's it now. Time to get busy dying." You have so much more than that ahead of you if you'd just open up to it.

Jobs OXO

Patww79 wrote: »

I keep myself to myself and I'm not doing anyone any harm. I did all I want up until 30 anyway (bar probably career which passed me by) so I suppose I have to be happy enough.

Did you try salsa dancing

OldMrBrennan83

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Patww79

Patww79 wrote: »

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It's actually heaps of fun.

um7y1h83ge06nx

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Personally, I've changed my "career" four times in my life, and I suspect I'll do so again within the next few years. You can make a reasonable income without playing the career game.

Not sure if you want to share but I'd love to hear details. I really admire people like you who have the balls and drive to change career. When I hear these people it makes me more confident that I can adapt in 10, 20, 30 years time.

mr.anonymous

I'm curious
Of the people with negative and positive outlooks, how do your social networks compare? That is said to be a main determinant of your quality of life.

HandsomeBob

mr.anonymous wrote: »

I'm curious
Of the people with negative and positive outlooks, how do your social networks compare? That is said to be a main determinant of your quality of life.

I would say I have a reasonable outlook on life, able to see the good and bad and handle both. I always have someone to spend time with so I guess that counts as a good network?

I always wonder about people who boast about their wide social circle. Makes me think they don't like to be left alone with their own thoughts.

OldMrBrennan83

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