Younger family members slow to remember me when visiting home

x43r0

Context: There are 6 grandkids in our family. Each of my (3) siblings have two children each. They are 15, 8, 5, 5, 3 & 2 years old.

I'm living away from home and visit probably 3 times a year. When I'm home, my siblings know I miss everyone and are great to make the effort to call up to our family home with the kids. So much so that in a 4 day trip I'd see them all at least twice.

Since the younger ones have gotten a bit more grown-up they can be very slow to talk to me or let me play with them. They all warm to me after a while (in the exact same order usually!). I know this is just a familiarity thing from not being around so often. It was a lot easier when they were smaller, I'd take them as much as I could, give them bottles etc. One of my brothers and I are very alike even so that when his two were younger I think they'd mix us up and I'd get lots of affection

Just looking for some advice from the parents here about anything I could do to help them realise a bit sooner that I'm not a big scary stranger

sparrowcar

FaceTime or Skype them once a week while away? If they see you and hear you in conversation more regularly then it might make your time at home easier.

Also next time you're home try and get a few pics of them with you and get the pics framed. Your siblings might oblige and put the pics up on the wall so the kids see your face daily.

kandr10

It’s a thing you just have to work through. When they get a bit older you’ll see a difference. My own daughter was like this with my brother who’s abroad and the worst phase was probably between 2-3 years old. She chats away a lot quicker now she’s older. It sounds like you’re trying your best and playing with them/ getting down to their level. Just wait it out and try not to take it too personally.

TherapyBoy

I see it with all my friends kids or young cousins/nieces/nephews, they're always a bit wary at the beginning. If I try to talk to them/play with them or attempt to get any interaction from the start they shut down or hide behind their parents legs. Give them space & they'll come looking for you soon enough. You just have to give them time to realise you're not big & scary.

When they first enter the house don't approach them at all or interact as little as possible, once they get used to the 'someone new' they'll be hanging out of you after 10 minutes.

x43r0

Thanks all!

Scarlet42

bring them presents .... they will start remembering you then .. and will even look forward to seeing you!

Write to them, even the young ones. Get into the habit of sending postcards and/or short letters. Find out what they're into and maybe send them a magazine or two on the subject.

Kids love receiving post addressed specifically to them.

Sesame

I wish my siblings were interested in my kids. We meet occasionally at my parents house and they are ignored and my youngest wouldn't know one of their names. :-(

It's wonderful that you are showing an interest. Keep making an effort even if it's not always reciprocated. They will in time, and a month in a child's life is like a year to them so they need reminding!