Regret having children? Is there anything good about having children?

The Planters Daughter

Apologies in advance for this long winded post! But I am desperate for some advice and feedback on this subject – I have been researching it for months!
My husband and I have been married for five years - Together for ten - We have a great life and we really are best friends (Mushy I know) We go on two or three holidays a year, we love going out for meals, wine bars, concerts and just enjoy the freedom that we have.

I am yet to hear that maternal scream from my ovaries begging me produce an off-spring the way most other women seem to, in fact the two of us have always been adamant that children are not on the cards for us in life. But because I am almost 32 and that biological clock of mine is quietly ticking away I have started to force myself to consider the positives of becoming a Mother to reduce the chance of having any regrets in older life. I am very close to my own Mother and this is one of the main things that sways me in the direction of Motherhood, I want that bond with my own daughter (But oh God what if I have a son!!!)

I also love the idea of having a little part of my husband and I combined together, to see what a beautiful little human we could make (But oh God what if we have an ugly one!!) to pass on our stories to them, to tell them about our own childhoods, our travels, their grandparents and to hand down clothing, jewellery our favourite books. We are both at times quite childish, love children’s movies, love Christmas….all those amazing fun things that having a child (I believe) makes even more fun? When I thought about this beautiful fairy-tale image of raising children I almost had myself convinced I could throw away the condoms….until…

Never one for believing my own mind, I have a bit of an addiction to “Googling” every question that pops into my head, and so I have spent the past months non-stop googling forums and Facebook pages about the pros and cons of being a parent, and what I have found is quite disturbing, from Redditt, mumsnet, and Men’s health to that famous Facebook page called “I regret having children” all I can seem to find is horror stories about how much having Children destroys everything good in a person’s life. From Mothers who say their bodies are destroyed and their lives turned upside down in the worst way possible, to Fathers who resent their children for stealing the wives attention away and who wished they had never had kids in the first place. Even the parents who say they don’t regret their decision to reproduce moaned on about how mundane their lives were and how they never realised it would be as hard as it is. The most common complaint I came across was that the joy really didn’t outweigh the negatives and that marriages can really be strained under all the pressure, and never quite the same. (I really don’t want to ruin what we already have)

So Basically I want to hear from the parents – Is it really all that bad?? Do you regret it?? Does having a little human of your own not make it all worthwhile – And what about Christmas – Surely having a little Santa believer running around the house at Christmas time is enough to make up for having zero sleep the rest of the year? In saying that my husband has just run a bubble bath, and we are about to open a bottle of wine – On a school night – Do I really need a cute little human ruining our peace on nights like this? 

Pawwed Rig

Not sure what you have been reading or what your sources are but you seem to just be reading the negatives. Personally I cannot imagine life without my 2 little ones. They bring so much happiness to our lives. The negatives are far outweighed by positives.

Dtp1979

I thought I was reading a thread title from after hours for a minute. There are no negitaves, just changes.

AndyBoBandy

Is it tough? Yes.

Is our 3 year old son mental? Yes.

Are lie ins a thing if the distant past? Yes.

Do they become the centre of your life? Yes.


But is it all worth it? Absolutely.

The joy, the smiles, the feeling when you have those moments of uncontrollable laughter with your child,

It’s difficult and there are always the moments when you wish you could just flick a switch and revert back to ‘normal’

But life would be a very hollow place if we didn’t have him.

You can have careers, cars, houses etc... but you’re not complete until you have a child, and only then will you truly know the meaning of life.

LushiousLips

What kind of sh*te are u finding on Facebook and forums. I've never seen anything like that. What kind of a person regrets having their kids. Sure, it's hard at times but there is no comparison between the pros and cons. The joy ur kids bring u is a feeling you'll never have experienced before and you'll feel love in your heart that you've never felt before.

AndyBoBandy

Also, your child will never be ugly. Your child (just like mine) will be the most beautiful child the World has ever seen. Fact.

Peregrinus

What can I say? It's the most expensive, exhausting, draining, never-ending commitment you can possibly make.

On the other hand, when you have a child you will realise that it's what you were put on earth to do. It's the whole point of your existence.

I'm not telling you that you should have a child; that's for you and your husband to decide. But, if you do, though it will test you in ways that you cannot possibly imagine, you will not regret it.

Pawwed Rig

AndyBoBandy wrote: »

It’s difficult and there are always the moments when you wish you could just flick a switch and revert back to ‘normal.

3.5 years in and I can honestly say I never had 1 of those moments.

NIMAN

I think you change as a person the moment you bring a child into the world.

I used to love socialising, holidays, free time, doing nothing, TV etc etc etc.

Your life is taken over by them. Its no longer about you, and all about them. To many people without children this might sound like the worst thing ever, but thats the way it goes. You tend to accept it, although in a small number of cases parents still want to go out on the lash and let the kids raise themselves in front of a screen.

Don't get me wrong, it can be incredibly hard. I had awful sleep for 6 years. I am grumpier than I used to be. But I wouldn't change it for a minute.

I wouldn't be a helicopter parent by any stretch of the imagination, but now when I have time to myself, I find myself empty and clueless about what to do with it. Your life with your own time is a strange concept, it so rarely happens.

SwissToni

Looks like you’ve got one of the hardest things out of the way already, your up a 5.30 in the morning!

munster87

I know you say differently but to me it sounds like your ovaries have started to scream!

CramCycle

There is no ups or downs. Don't feel pressurised into having children, it won't fufil you. This said if you have them, you will never regret it but if you never have them, that should only be a fleeting thought unless you really wanted them, which you don't seem to.
It will change you in ways you can't imagine but if you don't go down that route, it's just different, neither are bad options if you are happy.

CalamariFritti

Not going to be the right forum for impartial opinions. You don’t go to the dirt bike enthusiasts forum and ask why is riding dirt bikes sh1t.

I don’t have children myself and never will have and I have never regretted not having any. It was just choice.
But I imagine if I did I would dearly love them and never regret having them either. Because they’re humans and they’re your humans. They’re not like a car you regret buying. Obviously.

You just have to make up your mind go with it and never look back. Either way.
And you probably need to err on the side of caution. Since they are your little humans and they will need all your love and dedication.

fleet

You're not going to get a straight answer from either camp.

The childless don't really know, and those with children don't have a choice anymore so cognitive dissonance takes over.

Utimately humans have to reproduce or society is screwed, so I'm glad many make that choice.

pwurple

Sorry to break the love-in. But I do know people who regretted it.

I know a woman whose husband left them as he decided child rearing wasn’t for him after a few months. She was way out of her depth and took it out on the boy emotionally. Their son grew up angry and resentful and then spent his teenage years in and out of psychiatric hospitals and attempting suicide. She hasn’t soon him in years and told me several times she regrets having him. It certainly does happen.

Personally, I think you need to go in with your eyes wide open and two committed people. You are not in your twenties anymore... can you also keep up with a 5 year old learning to cycle?

On the positive side, you can raise your children to participate in all that stuff too. I bring my two to restaurants during the day and they love it! Babies are a bit impatient, so one course only, but by age 3 they are better with the chats and food. My buddies bring their brood to electric picnic. We have a strong supportive group of friends and family for babysitting, so we still go out for meals and enjoy wine. There are plenty of vineyards with family camping on site.

weiland79

Regrets? Never a single one. Joy and happiness? All the time.

Now if I could only figure out a way to get the 2 year old out of our bed every night cause there's no room.

But while she's here I'm just going to lie here and kiss her little cheek until I have to get up, cause she won't be there for ever.

Avatar MIA

Generation Juvenile?

If not sure, don't do it. While if it did happen it could be the best thing in the world, some people don't make good parents. You may be great, but if you're only doing it because you MAY regret in the future you can always adopt.

SSr0

AndyBoBandy wrote: »

but you’re not complete until you have a child, and only then will you truly know the meaning of life.

What an ignorant/smug comment.

DeanAustin

Logically, there’s barely a good reason I can come up with to have kids. It’s bloody hard work, disrupts your whole life and we effectively have a second mortgage with childcare costs.

Emotionally, I can’t imagine life without my two. I would do anything for them and it hurts me to think of anything bad ever happening to them (even just falling over or getting in a fight - all the things kids do).

But think carefully about it. There is social pressure on people to have kids and it’s not fair or right. It really isn’t for everyone and that doesn’t reflect badly on those people at all.

GalwayGrrrrrl

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Generation Juvenile?

If not sure, don't do it. While if it did happen it could be the best thing in the world, some people don't make good parents. You may be great, but if you're only doing it because you MAY regret in the future you can always adopt.

No, you cannot always adopt. It takes years and years, a huge amount of money and OP may already be too old to start the process.

I don't regret having my kids. Had them in early 30s and feel that was a good time. I'd had some lovely holidays, lots of wild nights out and was settled in my career. Now I'm enjoying two pre-teens who make me laugh every day and inspire me with their energy and intelligence.

My friend was child free by choice for first 10 years of her marriage. She has recently become pregnant by choice at age 43. Her sisters have kids and she didn't want to miss out on the experience.

Crimson King

The only thing of meaning I have done in my life is having my daughter. Take from that what you will.

Was trying to leave the house this morning without waking my wife and daughter as I leave at 5.30 am. At the front door I hear 'Daddy, you didn't give me a hug!'

That made my day. Hell, it made my week.

Fr Tod Umptious

People without kids and people with kids keep feeling sorry for each other.

Tom Mann Centuria

Most things are good about having kids, mine are well passed the toddler stage now. They are great, and how they are turning out fills me with happiness and pride, but there are down sides.

The stress in my life from the minute they were born jumped up 1000%. When they're unwell it's the worst feeling, you take every knock they take personally, every time they're upset it hurts. When your parent dies, the pain is double as you watch your children mourn their grandparent.

Financially they're a massive burden, free education costs thousands upon thousands, clothes cost hundreds every year because the blighters insist on growing. First they'll eat nothing, then when they're older they think their personal mission is to empty all food from a fridge or cupboard and eat anything not nailed down (apart from fruit)

I never got much out of the newborn stage with my kids, puking crying and pooing but everything changes when you get the first bit of character showing up, when they actually smile and not just vurp.

Then as they grow they go from the unquestioning belief their parents know everything, to the teenager unquestioning belief their parents know fupp all, it's all good stuff.

Adoption isn't a quick fix (as my sisters struggle would attest) and some people don't want children and I certainly wouldn't recommend having them because it's societal norm.

Have a chat with your other half OP, there's no right or wrong answer.

noble00

Hi I know having kids can be scary , but I can honestly say not for a sec do I ever regret having my two even when they are driving me mad , I don't know if I have ever met anyone that has regret having children

BoJack Horseman

The Planters Daughter wrote: »

Do I really need a cute little human ruining our peace on nights like this? 

Seems you've already made your mind up.
Stick with your booze and baths.

Having a family requires first and foremost even the slightest ability to set aside instant gratification.

It would be far worse to have a child you clearly don't want.

So don't.

GDK_11

SSr0 wrote: »

What an ignorant/smug comment.

agree with this, it's just not for some people. My partner and myself don't, we may in the future but it's not a guarantee we will head in that direction.

Will a child enhance our lives? Maybe, but it certainly will not 'complete us'.

SteM

The Planters Daughter wrote: »

...In saying that my husband has just run a bubble bath, and we are about to open a bottle of wine – On a school night....

You posted this at 5:42am, I'm guessing you're not in Ireland. If you are in Ireland and opening bottles of wine at this hour of the morning then you have bigger issues than wondering whether to have kids

barney shamrock

First 10 years are tough. After that it gets easier.

_Brian

We’ve two kids, eldest is 15 doing her junior cert.
CAnt think of one negative experience
In the whole time. Challenging maybe but nothing negative.

Hannibal_Smith

pwurple wrote: »

Sorry to break the love-in. But I do know people who regretted it.

I know a woman whose husband left them as he decided child rearing wasn’t for him after a few months. She was way out of her depth and took it out on the boy emotionally. Their son grew up angry and resentful and then spent his teenage years in and out of psychiatric hospitals and attempting suicide. She hasn’t soon him in years and told me several times she regrets having him. It certainly does happen.

Personally, I think you need to go in with your eyes wide open and two committed people. You are not in your twenties anymore... can you also keep up with a 5 year old learning to cycle?

On the positive side, you can raise your children to participate in all that stuff too. I bring my two to restaurants during the day and they love it! Babies are a bit impatient, so one course only, but by age 3 they are better with the chats and food. My buddies bring their brood to electric picnic. We have a strong supportive group of friends and family for babysitting, so we still go out for meals and enjoy wine. There are plenty of vineyards with family camping on site.

That's a fairly extreme example.

I'm sure there are people who regret it, maybe in previous generations where children were more an expectation than a choice. I don't know anyone my own age who has regretted it.

My kids aren't restaurant material. Some kids aren't. Mine prefer to be outside 24/7 with a football. So just be aware op that not all kids will conform to adult life and that's ok. As long as you are aware that sometimes you might have to get mucky too!!

I wouldn't give mine back. I don't mind the odd weekend away to feel normal again...well the old normal...theres a new normal now. It doesn't present itself as regret though.

shamrock55

No words on an internet forum can explain what it's like to have your own children,would I recommend them,most certainly

Zadkiel

Pretty much what a lot of people have already said.

Before our little girl came along we were in a bar or restaurant every second night. We had nice holidays, we were spontaneous. We REALLY enjoyed our life.

Do we miss it? No.

Do we enjoy our new life? Infinitely more. It's challenging.

If you decide to have a baby, as someone has already mentioned you will be tested in ways you can't imagine.
We've had days where we can't string a coherent sentence together because we've been so tired.
You're patience will be stretched to breaking point.
We're constantly spending money on clothes. We've been in Temple Street three times in 26 months.
My missus can't get two minutes to herself to go to the bathroom when I'm not in the house.

But...
Every sleepless night is worth seeing your child take their first steps, hearing them laugh for the first time or the first time they spontaneously say "i love you daddy". That's the case for us anyway. But we've always wanted a family.

You have to do what's right for you. Please don't have children if you really don't want them. No child deserves to be resented and they will know it if they are.

AnneFrank

The best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a dad, i simply couldn't imagine life without them,
to see the world through their eyes, and to feel that pride in watching them grow is like nothing else on earth,
No negatives whatsoever for me OP

TheAnalyst_

There are loads of negatives. It probably just about evens out in the end but ignore anyone that says they are the only reason for living and life is meaningless without them. People like that obviously never had much else going on in their life.

AndyBoBandy

AndyBoBandy wrote: »

................ but you’re not complete until you have a child, and only then will you truly know the meaning of life.

Let's not get carried away, there must be loads of childless folk out there who are complete and truly know the meaning of life.

Like, do you consider that scobey fnckers with sprogs are complete and truly know the meaning of life?

TheAnalyst_

Some interesting counterpoints.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5077509/Parents-reveal-secretly-hate-children.html

I can understand the age you are at and giving up a life you are used to.

My advice to you now is to just get on with it.

If you're lucky enough to get pregnant quickly enough, you'll have a good nine months to get used to the idea and to get ready to make adjustments in your lives.

A lot of couples think "will I be a good parent etc".

That's a good way to be as it shows they are thinking about the commitment.

But I'll say again. Just get on with it. It's the most wonderful thing that can ever happen to you. A whole new world will open up for you. And you'll be able to deal with it all and make preparations and adjustments as needed. That is of course if you want to have kids.

And I'm completely respectful of folk who prefer not to have kids. Best wishes whatever way forward you decide is right for you.

JimmyMcGill

GDK_11 wrote: »

agree with this, it's just not for some people. My partner and myself don't, we may in the future but it's not a guarantee we will head in that direction.

Will a child enhance our lives? Maybe, but it certainly will not 'complete us'.

And that sounds like you have the choice, which is the best scenario.

What about all those couples who can't? They're never going to lead a fulfilled existence without children? Doubtful.

OP the very fact you started this thread must point you somewhere nearer the answer you thought you'd never want to hear. My take on it anyway.

chooey

She is without a doubt the best thing I've ever done in my life. I haven't regretted ever having her. I've never loved anyone like I've loved this little person. It completely changes your life but I think for the better.

Bacchus

This a very emotive question to answer objectively. While I don't doubt there are parents out there that regret having kids... I think that's more about them as a person than anything else. What I mean is that no-one, absolutely no-one, no matter how many books they read, is prepared to be a parent. That moment you arrive home with your baby and you set the carrier seat down... you and your partner looking at it... at each other... wondering "what do we do now". It's real. Most parents, I feel and hope, rise to the task of raising a baby. It's hard work, it's exhausting, and it is relentless (this is coming from the Dad's side, so imagine what it is for the mom). I can see how there are some people that are simply overwhelmed by it. There's a whole classification of depression that affects around 1 in 5 new mothers. Life is seriously tough for the first 4-8 months. It is a minefield of things that can go wrong, or 'not smoothly', nevermind the basics like sleep. We experienced a few bumps in the road and we still feel like we had a pretty good first 6 months (we're nearly 1 year in now as parents to our little girl). So, yeah if there regrets, I can see them stemming from simply not being able to cope and I feel a great deal of pity for those parents and for the baby. If you're in that position, you need to seek help from family and friends. Even if it's just to give you an hour to take some downtime. You need that anyway, put just doubly so if you're struggling.

I think it's important if this is something that you need to draw up a pros/cons list to make your decision, that you really do think it through. For us, we just wanted to have a family and despite all the work it is the best thing we ever did. One smile from our daughter just makes everything else melt away. Seriously I nearly cried the first time she crawled... won't be able to cope when she starts walking. The sight of her clapping her hands grinning up at you at 5am makes you forget it's 5am. It is just amazing seeing your little mini-us become their own person. But... back to my point... if it isn't an instinctual thing for you and you're considering it just because well it's the "thing to do" then REALLY consider it. I love it, but I do miss sleeping past 7am on a Saturday morning (though my wife and I do take turns), popping out with my wife for a casual meal or drink in town, or any number of other leisures we once had. It's a price I happily pay... not everyone will want to sacrifice that though and as bad as it might be for parents to realize this isn't for them, it's the child I feel more sorry for. I'm sure even with regret there is still love and caring but to come packaged with the weight of what you've "taken away" from your parents... I dunno, makes me sad.

GDK_11

JimmyMcGill wrote: »

And that sounds like you have the choice, which is the best scenario.

What about all those couples who can't? They're never going to lead a fulfilled existence without children? Doubtful.

OP the very fact you started this thread must point you somewhere nearer the answer you thought you'd never want to hear. My take on it anyway.

I would be quite sure that they could and would live a fulfilled existence without children.
We may not have the choice down the line, I don't know. However would my life be fulfilled either way, i don't see why it wouldn't be.

AndyBoBandy

SSr0 wrote: »

What an ignorant/smug comment.

I guess my comment was made from the perspective of already crossing the line into parenthood, and perhaps should have been considered as being part of my entire post.

After the fact, Yes, I feel the way I feel about it, as in I couldn't comprehend life now without our child.

I'm not saying people who don't have children aren't 'complete'. I myself felt perfectly happy & content with life prior to being a parent, but once becoming a parent, perspectives change.

Am I wearing rose tinted glasses? of course I am.

optogirl

AndyBoBandy wrote: »

... but you’re not complete until you have a child, and only then will you truly know the meaning of life.

Think this is a bit of an overstatement - it's not for everyone. Having said that I am very glad I have my two - they bring a lot of happiness and open up parts of life that you wouldn't experience otherwise. Some Saturday mornings I do wish they'd bugger off for an hour or so mind you but that's my problem, not theirs.

Malayalam

Make no mistake, it's a huge thing to have children. If you are going to do right by them you will have to put yourself last, sacrifice your desires, almost 100% of your time, even your basic needs sometimes. You will have to be grown up and careful not to inflict your neuroses on them. This is a whole other independent and vulnerable human being who needs and deserves unconditional love, constant physical care, education, guidance and training, attention, true consideration. Being a parent is a serious task, an awesome adventure. And that's in the good times. In the hard times, when they are sick or suffering in some way, it can be inexpressibly strange. Your heart stretched to infinity.
I am glad I did not have to make the choice. It would be tricky to stand on that precipice, so I understand your hesitation. It is an awesome leap. My children arrived when I was very young and quite innocent, and certainly not planning it. Looking up to breathe 25 years later, now that they are my dearest, most beloved friends, I can honestly say it has been an honour and a blessing beyond what I deserved to be their mam.

Bacchus

Zadkiel wrote: »

Pretty much what a lot of people have already said.

Before our little girl came along we were in a bar or restaurant every second night. We had nice holidays, we were spontaneous. We REALLY enjoyed our life.

Do we miss it? No.

Do we enjoy our new life? Infinitely more. It's challenging.

If you decide to have a baby, as someone has already mentioned you will be tested in ways you can't imagine.
We've had days where we can't string a coherent sentence together because we've been so tired.
You're patience will be stretched to breaking point.
We're constantly spending money on clothes. We've been in Temple Street three times in 26 months.
My missus can't get two minutes to herself to go to the bathroom when I'm not in the house.

But...
Every sleepless night is worth seeing your child take their first steps, hearing them laugh for the first time or the first time they spontaneously say "i love you daddy". That's the case for us anyway. But we've always wanted a family.

You have to do what's right for you. Please don't have children if you really don't want them. No child deserves to be resented and they will know it if they are.

100% this, in a nutshell how I feel.

pwurple

Hannibal_Smith wrote: »

That's a fairly extreme example.  

I'm sure there are people who regret it, maybe in previous generations where children were more an expectation than a choice.  I don't know anyone my own age who has regretted it.

My kids aren't restaurant material.  Some kids aren't.  Mine prefer to be outside 24/7 with a football.  So just be aware op that not all kids will conform to adult life and that's ok.  As long as you are aware that sometimes you might have to get mucky too!!

I wouldn't give mine back.  I don't mind the odd weekend away to feel normal again...well the old normal...theres a new normal now.  It doesn't present itself as regret though.

Well... yes and no. I'm sure we could all think of plenty more extreme examples of people who should never have become parents. I would imagine if you spend every waking moment regretting someone's existence, it's easy to slide into abuse.
Absolutely, you never know what life will throw at you. Special needs, health issues, etc. 

And whatever eejit suggested adoption. Forget about it. Not on the cards in Ireland.

matrim

The Planters Daughter wrote: »

in fact the two of us have always been adamant that children are not on the cards for us in life.

What does your husband think of your new found doubt? Because if he's still adamant about not having kids, then you deciding to have them may either breed resentment and / or end the relationship

seamus

Whatever way you choose, it's close to guaranteed that you will squander the time that you have

People who have children find themselves with grown up children wondering how those years went by so quickly and wishing they could go back and really appreciate them.

People who don't, find themselves at 60 years of age realising that they should have spent all their free time exploring the world and learning new things rather than going to work and watching TV. You can't bring your sh1t with you when you die, so don't waste your time working and saving money unless you're planning on retiring at 40.

I have two kids, but I would never pressure someone into having them. It's hard work, that can't be doubted, and some people are wired in such a way that the loss of their free time and personal space actually makes them miserable. You can still love your children and not regret them, while being miserable because you're a parent.

Other people are wired in such a way that nothing brings them more joy than a house full of children.

Most people lie somewhere in the middle; they love having the kids around but also appreciate the chances they get for a little personal time.

In terms of the OP, I would say that there's nothing like kids to inject the fun back into family occasions like Xmas, birthdays, etc. Without kids they become mundane, by-the-numbers affairs with a group of adults getting drunk around the table watching eachother grow slightly older and grumpier. Kids snap you back to your childhood and you get the opportunity to come up with your own traditions.

I'm not going to advocate for either side; as you can see by this thread, people who've made their choice tend to be convinced that they're right and kids are great/awful.

You're 32, you've got some time to think about it. Whatever decision you've made though, you both have to be on board with. Yes it can strain a marriage, but also make one much stronger and closer as a result.

whatawaster

Having children is not for everyone, and I'd urge you to be as sure as you can be before you make a decision to have one.

Is having a child the best thing I've ever done in my life? - 100% yes.

Is it all sunshine and roses? - of course not.

We all have moments where we wish we could go out with our friends, or go to a movie, or out for dinner, only there is no one to babysit. And when the crying has been going on for an hour, it does sometimes seem like it will never stop.

There are the sleepless nights, the changing dirty nappies, the cleaning up of vomit, your baby spitting carrots into your hand because she only wanted to chew them but not swallow them. Then she cries when you take the carrots away.

But for me those are such minor complaints they are almost irrelevant. My daughter makes me smile a hundred times a day. She steals my phone and laughs like a maniac as I try and catch her and get it back. She hugs me for no reason. She takes holidays like Easter, Halloween and Christmas and just makes them better. One day, I will get to read Harry Potter to her, whether she likes it or not.

I will say that we both knew we wanted kids. We talked about it all the time, and we both adored all our nieces and nephews. It turned out to harder and more of a sacrifice than we thought it would be, but also a thousand times more fulfilling.

seamus

whatawaster wrote: »

There are the sleepless nights, the changing dirty nappies, the cleaning up of vomit, your baby spitting carrots into your hand because she only wanted to chew them but not swallow them. Then she cries when you take the carrots away.

In hindsight, I laugh when people mention nappy changing & sleepless nights and all the rest as barriers to having kids. That seems like a lot of work. It seems like you'll be changing someone else's nappies until you're old enough to be wearing your own.
And sometimes when you're in the middle of it, it feels like it's never going to end.

But it actually passes by in the blink of an eye. 3-4 years and then the physically hard bit is over; the child eats normal food, sleeps all night (doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning); uses the toilet and plays on their own without needed constant attention (most of the time).
And you realise not much time has actually passed, you haven't "missed out" on a damn thing.

tomo75

I am a Dad of 3 girls. The eldest turned 4 when the 3rd was born. Did I look in the mirror and think we had bitten off more than we could chew......yep....but we kept the head down and almost 3 years later it is still great fun. I think it's the change of priorities that gets you. If you embrace it...it's more rewarding.