Partner struggling to find work

LegacyUser

Hi

Please feel free to move this by the way, if posting in the wrong forum.

My partner currently travels for work and is away Monday to Friday. He has been in this role almost 3 years.
He has been looking for work closer to home for over a year now. He has applied for numerous jobs in a similar field, been to about 7 interviews - progressed to 2nd interviews with approx 2 - but to date, hasnt managed to secure a new role.
At this stage, he is becoming extremely disillusioned and hates being away from home - so much so, that when he does have to head off, the humour is bad and there can be tears. He loves his kids and is a great dad - and I think now its tearing him apart when he leaves.

I am trying to be supportive, but am struggling too, esp when interview after interview seem to lead to nothing. I have advised him to speak with his current company, who have offices closer to home, and may be able to offer him a role elsewhere. He is reluctant to do that as he feels he is essentially telling them he plans on leaving soon.

Not sure what advice I am looking for. Does anyone have any pointers re what to do to get him past the interview stage? or who can help?? He is so disiullisioned now, he just wants to pack it all in, not look for other roles..." whats the point" he thinks! Not healthy attitude and I dont believe packing it in would be the best choice..

Can anyone offer any support / advice / been in this dilemma?

Thanks

Neyite

Has he had any interview coaching? His CV is obviously rising to the top of the pile to get called for interview so there's something maybe going wrong and maybe it's the way he's selling /not selling himself?

There's no harm in him asking for a transfer to be nearer home. It shouldn't reflect badly on him at all for asking or for enquiring about other roles they might have that he might enjoy more.

Yellow pack crisps

Podcast and ted talks about perfecting the art of interviews. His CV is obviously good enough so there is something that is hindering him. As for asking his company for a position nearer to home? Again why would they assume thet he wants to leave? They would surely assume if he communicated his needs properly that he wants to be closer to his family, that's quite normal. Is his communication in general good?

Ursus Horribilis

I don't understand how asking for another role within the company, closer to home equates to him intending to leave? It makes absolute sense that a man with a family would want to live with them, not in some sort of Monday-Friday twilight zone. He absolutely should ask and see what they can do for him. What does he have to lose?

It sounds like he's caught up in a spiral of negativity. It could be why he seems to think asking for that transfer would be interpreted like that. Or why he's not getting those jobs. Sometimes the more desperately you want a job, the more pressure you heap on yourself and the worse you do. As a practical step, would he think about going for interview training and having someone vet where he's going wrong?

Big Bag of Chips

I'd second the interview coaching idea. I recently went to an interview skills evening and was taught some very basic skills, lines, phrases that will almost certainly improve my chances in future interviews. I'm a great worker, I'm just not good at putting that across to prospective employers. And nowadays interviews are almost a box ticking, points system: say the right phrase, you get a point. Get the most points, the job is yours.

Asking for a transfer, and having his company consider the fact that he might have to leave if he doesn't get it is likely to be a positive thing for him rather than a negative. If he is a good employee and if they are happy with his work, they will want to keep him. So they would be more inclined to try to accommodate him. I know he's stressed and under pressure at the moment and often that can lead us to having negative rather than positive thoughts. But this is where you come in! And you start planting a few different thoughts. Different scenarios to the ones he is playing out in his head.

Also looking into interview skills somewhere for him. It'll be time and money well spent.

shesty

I would firstly encourage him to put in the request.Funnily enough I know a couple of people in positions somewhat similar to yours and their other halves were also reluctant to say anything.It was odd because generally men will say it when there is a problem, yet they all stalled at this conversation.I don't know is it that they found it hard to admit the situation wasn't working for them or what and to ask for help from the company, but it took a lot of pushing for them to even just start the conversation.
He would be doing what any sane person would.'Hi. i have been working for you for four years, I would like to start getting closer to home, can you help me at all".It's life.He's not saying I'm leaving, he's saying I'd like to stay if you can accommodate me a bit.So it's quite the opposite. And if they say no, and he ends up leaving for another job, it's no big loss. It is a very common thing these days and if it is causing him that much misery, then he needs to say it for the good of his health.
Along with that some interview coaching could be good too, there is nothing stopping him from also applying for jobs.Look on the positive side, If he is getting that far in the interview process something will eventually come through for him.

Sunny Dayz

Another plus one for enquiring about any positions closer to home. My husband did the long commute to work before. He left at 7am and was home around 7pm for a 9-5 job. There's only some much of that you can really take, it's ok for a few years. He requested a transfer to a nearer office and he also went for a job interview for a place in a different company nearer to home. His manager (who's very nice) got wind of him going for an interview and realised that the company could lose him so he ensured that he got his transfer, and my husband now happens to be still under this same manager.

BlondeBomb

If he's good at his job the company would be willing to keep him.

Someone single without commitments might love the idea of travelling with work.

Management in the company I imagine probably have family too and will understand. They're not monsters (usually).