I have nothing in my life

LegacyUser

I have many acquaintances and people to talk to, but no real friends. I feel I annoy people and am awkward. I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend or anything even close. To quote my grandmother, I am "plain and plump". I have felt so lonely for most of my life. I have always been an underachiever - I did terribly in school but worked my way through a PLC and eventually got in to college. I am in my 4th and final year. Since 1st year I made a promise to myself that I would put my everything in to college and get a first class degree. So far I have gotten mostly A's with a few B1's. I was so proud of myself and felt I had finally found something I was good at.

As this is my last year, it is worth the most. I am on a placement at the moment which is non-repeatable (if I fail, I don't get a degree at all). I knew this year was worth so much, so I worked 3 jobs over the summer to save up so I could quit my regular job for this year and put all my focus on placement and assignments/exams. This placement is also worth a huge amount of my final degree. I have done placements before and got on great. But, this time I am being told that I am currently sitting on a C2 grade and if I don't show improvement I will fail. I am devastated. The one thing I had going in my life is gone. I don't even know how this has happened - I felt I was doing well. I am being told that I am bad at things I was previously told I was excellent at. I haven't changed the way I do things since the last placement (except to me I felt I had improved). I get up at 6.30 every morning and don't go to bed until about 1 that night because I am working so much. I can't possibly put in more effort unless I just never sleep. Even if I do scrape a pass it's looking like a low C - which will drag my average down as it is worth so much.

I am posting this in PI because I am just feeling hopeless now in general. My one redeeming feature of grades is gone and I don't know what to do. I am in shock about how the past few weeks have gone and how quickly things have gone down hill. With my grades gone, I have nothing.

Vlove

upset211017 wrote: »

I have many acquaintances and people to talk to, but no real friends. I feel I annoy people and am awkward. I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend or anything even close. To quote my grandmother, I am "plain and plump". I have felt so lonely for most of my life. I have always been an underachiever - I did terribly in school but worked my way through a PLC and eventually got in to college. I am in my 4th and final year. Since 1st year I made a promise to myself that I would put my everything in to college and get a first class degree. So far I have gotten mostly A's with a few B1's. I was so proud of myself and felt I had finally found something I was good at.

As this is my last year, it is worth the most. I am on a placement at the moment which is non-repeatable (if I fail, I don't get a degree at all). I knew this year was worth so much, so I worked 3 jobs over the summer to save up so I could quit my regular job for this year and put all my focus on placement and assignments/exams. This placement is also worth a huge amount of my final degree. I have done placements before and got on great. But, this time I am being told that I am currently sitting on a C2 grade and if I don't show improvement I will fail. I am devastated. The one thing I had going in my life is gone. I don't even know how this has happened - I felt I was doing well. I am being told that I am bad at things I was previously told I was excellent at. I haven't changed the way I do things since the last placement (except to me I felt I had improved). I get up at 6.30 every morning and don't go to bed until about 1 that night because I am working so much. I can't possibly put in more effort unless I just never sleep. Even if I do scrape a pass it's looking like a low C - which will drag my average down as it is worth so much.

I am posting this in PI because I am just feeling hopeless now in general. My one redeeming feature of grades is gone and I don't know what to do. I am in shock about how the past few weeks have gone and how quickly things have gone down hill. With my grades gone, I have nothing.

I'm sorry you feel this way and sure i have a lot of accquincances like you. I'm 22 and a first year in college. Have you ever thought about joining societies or even go to classes outside of college? I'm sure you don't annoy anyone at all. I know its hard for you that you're in your last year of college but, it would be good for you to get out there and give yourself a break. Regarding that you're at a C2 grade, is there anyone else you can talk to about that and maybe help you?

Purple Mountain

Go into your college and speak to your class tutor. State your case clearly and tell them you're very surprised and worried. Don't bottle this up to yourself.
Also I'm wondering about your time management and I'm not criticising you here. But if you're only sleeping between 1am and 6.30am then you're not adequately rested. Would you make an appointment with your college counsellor to discuss retaining a better study - life balance?
You need to find another outlet apart from study.
Exercise or join a choir. You'll meet like minded people.

dory

I would agree with the above - you need to sleep more.

Also, what do you mean by a C2? How are they giving you Leaving Cert type grades? A C2 in Leaving cert is 60-65% in college which is really good. 70% is a first class honours. Most people get in the 60s in college (of those who put in a lot of work anyway). You can get into masters and get on graduate programs with a 2.1 which in (old) Leaving Cert speak is a C2 - C1.

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

upset211017 wrote: »

I have many acquaintances and people to talk to, but no real friends. I feel I annoy people and am awkward. I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend or anything even close. To quote my grandmother, I am "plain and plump". I have felt so lonely for most of my life. I have always been an underachiever - I did terribly in school but worked my way through a PLC and eventually got in to college. I am in my 4th and final year. Since 1st year I made a promise to myself that I would put my everything in to college and get a first class degree. So far I have gotten mostly A's with a few B1's. I was so proud of myself and felt I had finally found something I was good at.

As this is my last year, it is worth the most. I am on a placement at the moment which is non-repeatable (if I fail, I don't get a degree at all). I knew this year was worth so much, so I worked 3 jobs over the summer to save up so I could quit my regular job for this year and put all my focus on placement and assignments/exams. This placement is also worth a huge amount of my final degree. I have done placements before and got on great. But, this time I am being told that I am currently sitting on a C2 grade and if I don't show improvement I will fail. I am devastated. The one thing I had going in my life is gone. I don't even know how this has happened - I felt I was doing well. I am being told that I am bad at things I was previously told I was excellent at. I haven't changed the way I do things since the last placement (except to me I felt I had improved). I get up at 6.30 every morning and don't go to bed until about 1 that night because I am working so much. I can't possibly put in more effort unless I just never sleep. Even if I do scrape a pass it's looking like a low C - which will drag my average down as it is worth so much.

I am posting this in PI because I am just feeling hopeless now in general. My one redeeming feature of grades is gone and I don't know what to do. I am in shock about how the past few weeks have gone and how quickly things have gone down hill. With my grades gone, I have nothing.

First of all please stop criticising yourself that can't be helping your confidence. Going by your post you seem to be a very kind an caring person and very bright too so they are two very good traits to have. As far as not having a boyfriend I too never had a girlfriend until I was in my late thirties and she is now my loving wife. So you will meet the right person when the time is right. You Are doing the right thing by concentrating on your degree but the one thing I would say is get plenty of sleep. You need to set yourself a proper sleep pattern because your brain can not function properly if your sleep is all over the place. Also you will feel down in yourself if your tired all the time so your concentration will be affected and your ability to store information and hold it will make things more difficult. The reason i'm telling you this is because I suffer from fatigue and I have to go for a couple of hours sleep every day otherwise my body won't function properly and I get very moody and find it hard to concentrate. So please regulate your sleeping pattern and try and get out and about more to see if you can meet new people and make some friends. I hope I have helped you in some small way.I know it might'n feel like it now but things will work out for you and remember you are not alone. Best of luck for the future.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice everyone, I was feeling particularly bad yesterday when I posted the above, but quite a bit better now. I plan to discuss the potential low grade with my tutor this week and hopefully receive specific feedback on how to improve and raise the grade.

dory wrote: »

I would agree with the above - you need to sleep more.

Also, what do you mean by a C2? How are they giving you Leaving Cert type grades? A C2 in Leaving cert is 60-65% in college which is really good. 70% is a first class honours. Most people get in the 60s in college (of those who put in a lot of work anyway). You can get into masters and get on graduate programs with a 2.1 which in (old) Leaving Cert speak is a C2 - C1.

Hi, in my university they give grades rather than percentages, but they are the same as other colleges. A C2 would be around 50%.

Jenneke87

Hey there,
First of all: I feel like strangling your grandmother. Saying that you're " plain and plump.." How dare she! Our family are suppose to be the ones to sing our praises, not the one's criticizing our looks! I'm sorry you took that comment to heart so much. I'm sure you're not at all how she described you. This focus on womens looks and that we're only worthy of people's respect, kindness and help if we have a pretty face is one of the many thing I find wrong with our society's treatment of women. And even if she were right(I highly doubt it) most of us are no stunners and still get on with our lives, find someone, get married etc. Putting people down about their looks really achieves nothing.

As for you college work, I admire the work and discipline you've put in it so far. If you ever were un underachiever I'd say you more than proved yourself not to be. I agree with the other posters that you need to balance your schedule more, only getting 5 and a half hours of sleep is not enough. Your attitude is to be admired but I don't think your body and mind can keep this up forever.
I see you already made plans to speak with your tutors to get feedback which is a good step so well done for that! I have no doubt you're going to graduate and you absolutely deserve it. Keep your head up and sleep some more. You'll be fine, I'm sure

Airyfairy12

Don't worry about your grades. With a 2.2 you can do a postgrad. Ive never been asked what grade I got from college. Employers are generally just interested in you having the degree. Ask your tutors and work placement for feedback on your performance and ways you can improve.

BoardsMember

upset211017 wrote: »

Thanks for the advice everyone, I was feeling particularly bad yesterday when I posted the above, but quite a bit better now. I plan to discuss the potential low grade with my tutor this week and hopefully receive specific feedback on how to improve and raise the grade.

Please make sure you do this. I did this in my last year of college and it helped enormously.

You're doing absolutely brilliantly, and I think you know it.

Whatever is the end result, the degree will stand to you. And after a couple of years working, even after you start your first job, the actual grade won't matter. If you display that level of determination and commitment to work you will be a success in whatever you do.

Work life is often where people first flourish too, school can be hard, college is not for everyone. You are young and you have it all ahead of you. Don't overthink it, get this particular situation sorted by meeting with your tutor and then move on. I wish you the very best of luck, there are loads of good people out there that would be proud to call you a friend, and enjoy your company, you just haven't met them all yet!

Ric.ie

I don't have much specific advice for you, but:

Since 1st year I made a promise to myself that I would put my everything in to college and get a first class degree. So far I have gotten mostly A's with a few B1's. I was so proud of myself and felt I had finally found something I was good at.

As this is my last year, it is worth the most. I am on a placement at the moment which is non-repeatable (if I fail, I don't get a degree at all). I knew this year was worth so much, so I worked 3 jobs over the summer to save up so I could quit my regular job for this year and put all my focus on placement and assignments/exams.

Wow! Well done. You're giving yourself a really hard time here, but I have to say you have put an amazing effort in from the sounds of things.

I would add that in my experience mock exams/provisional results can sometimes be lower than what you merit (as a way to motivate students) - so definitely follow up and explain to a tutor/lecturer how you feel about it & the incredibly grueling schedule you're enduring.

Might I also suggest considering seeing a counselor at college? The counselling service exists for situations exactly like yours.

Before seeing a college counselor, I felt like my problems with college work didn't merit taking up someone's time. But once I swallowed my fear and went through with it, it had a massively beneficial short-term effect on my mood & helped me pass my subjects.

Fakediamond

Do you have a good relationship with your placement supervisor? I know in my job, there is a person who supervises placements who can be quite petty if her ego is not stroked by students. It's unfair but she has shafted students she doesn't like. It's definitely worth speaking to your tutors, if this is an anomaly to your usual standard, that needs to be acknowledged and you need to be given a grade commensurate with your previously proven ability.

Rubberchikken

I've no knowledge of college grades but if I were you and doing so well all along I'd be speaking to a class tutor or lecturer or whoever is in a position to go through things and see what's happening.

Sleep is vital. Tbh more vital than any results. Without it you will be unable to concentrate and do your best.

Whatever results you get are not you. They are a measure of work /exams. You are a good person. Working hard and trying to do their best.
You also need to see that there's more to college life than study.

dev100

You've been given some good advice by others OP . I never went the formal college route and didn't achieve the highest mark in my qualification in my field of expertise. It did annoy me at the time as I was all for being the best. 15 year later all that matters to employers is I can do my job well. No one asks me why I didn't get the distinction they just ask my previous employers what I was like.

We all put ourselves under pressure to achieve the highest marks possible. Sometimes it's achievable sometimes it's not and often we need to learn to let go . Learning to see the bigger picture usually comes with age . You can possibly achieve your goal but in future you could be working in a high stress job trying to meet targets etc so in years to come we are just swapping one set of stress for another.

You need to take a rest and talk to someone. We can be our own harshest critics. So talk to tutors or placement rep and ask them their opinion of how you are getting on.

My advice get more sleep and take up an activity that has nothing to do with your field of study and give your head some down time. In time you will learn how to do stress management but you have to have down time also .

All work and no play and all that.

Good luck

amtc

I have a First Class Honours degree and came top of my class every year. I was told by career guidance and indeed recruiters that this was a disadvantage as employers didn't see you as a team player as you were focussed on yourself and own achievements. Now my cv just has my degree on it. Honestly as long as you've shown the capacity to get through college that is all that is needed. Do go talk to a tutor or head of year. You have nothing to lose and all to gain.