Are chat rooms still a "no no" when trying to make friends?

LegacyUser

So after several years as a teen isolating myself both intentionally and unintentionally, I'm deciding to start making friends as a 20yr old. I'm becoming more confident, more social and trying to adopt the 'party rave culture' that I once shunned a lot of my peers for taking part in.

The thing is, I'd also obviously like to get a 'quickie' with a 'girlfriend' and thus I'v been thinking of joining Irish chatrooms.

My parents and cousin say I'll get "raped and killed by murderers" which is quite ridiculous though I understand their concerns as some people have been hurt after organizing a real life meeting on dating apps and online chatrooms.

I still have some faith that even if 80% of people online are fake, that you can filter through the BS predators and meet someone genuine. Or maybe it's incredibly risky. I wonder if anyone here has or knows someone else that used a chatroom.

LegacyUser

Is there any reason you couldn't make some friends in the real world? Perhaps take up activities, join clubs, that sort of thing?

cochrane

cochrane wrote: »

The thing is, I'd also obviously like to get a 'quickie' with a 'girlfriend' and thus I'v been thinking of joining Irish chatrooms

What do you mean by this?

Are you looking to make friends or find a girlfriend or get laid?

Rubberchikken

I don't understand what your post is about.
If you want to socialise and make friends then figure out what you're interested in. Are you into sport then join a club. Exercise then maybe a gym or running group. Drinking/ music then head to a pub or club.
If it's just sex then maybe chat rooms or dating sites.

You don't need to join the 'party rave culture's you mention although I don't even know if that's an actual thing.
There's a sense of condensation in the post that could impede making friends so maybe start with that.
Good luck

LegacyUser

Rubberchikken wrote: »

There's a sense of condensation in the post that could impede making friends so maybe start with that.

'Condensation'? I'm sorry but what do you mean?

lazybones32

Virtual friendships are nothing like the personal interaction between 2 or more people. The dynamic is completely different and it can only be learned and improved by meeting with people.

The internet might help you get a date but it's the interaction between the 2 of you that will decide if it lasts longer than 30 mins.

There is no silver bullet for your situation but keep trying and keep getting out meeting people. A walking club is a great way to socialise; plenty of milfs at them too! Plenty of younger women too but older women are better.

Ursus Horribilis

Chatrooms? I thought for a moment that 1997 had just called, looking for your Yahoo! username and your A/S/L.

Why not just use Tinder like everyone else does? Especially if you only want to get laid. Or you could hone your social skills and leave the house and meet people. Again, like what most people do. I've met people I first chatted to online (not dating though, but through Boards and Facebook) and it can be surprising how different some people are in real life. Chatting to people online is fun but you really can't beat the real thing. Turn off your computer and go meet some people in real life.

leggo

I'd be fairly actively single and wouldn't even know a chat room to go to if I wanted to meet someone. My last experience of them (as a teen, years ago) was that it was largely men and maybe 1% women starved for real world attention trying to get cheap kicks and some sense of connection while engaging in some self love. And that was when chat rooms were a thing, which I don't believe they are anymore.

If you actually want to meet someone for a bit of casual, try Tinder. Casual is doable on Tinder, but the thing is that from what I hear from women I know on it, like 90% of men on Tinder are looking for the same. And it's an almost entirely looks-based currency. So if you're not ridiculously good looking or have a bit of game, you're going to be swiping forever. If you want to meet someone, make a bit of a connection, or even just get talking to people, try POF. Again there are a lot of men out there on it looking for casual hook-ups, so you'll need to either drop your standards or offer something that'll make you stand out or you'll be pissing into the wind.

As far as social stuff goes, you don't have to go to parties and nightclubs if you don't want to. Take up a hobby that you're passionate about, join a club or do a course, and you're more likely to meet people who think like you. Try MeetUp for this if you're struggling to find something.

Lastly, I know you're dealing with limited options, but your parents aren't great people to go to for dating advice. The dating world has changed so much in the past five years alone, never mind trying to pick the brains of people from a different generation! They won't be able to help you, understand or relate, and as your parents (who sound quite protective, which is good in a sense and you're lucky to have that) your safety will be their first priority rather than respecting the fact that you're an adult now and can make your own decisions. If you're stuck for advice as you progress through this scary new chapter, you can post in this board as you go and you'll find people happy to help who have a ton of life experience and aren't as biased or invested in you so can give you solid tips that'll make a difference.

Overall though, well done on taking this step and I wish you well on your adventures! You're long overdue getting to make some stories for yourself, go make your mark on the world!