Bad mental health ruining my life

LegacyUser

I'm going to try keep this short and sweet because I could type for days if I were to get going.
Over the past two years my mental health has been deteriorating rapidly. My main issues are anxiety,agoraphobia and panic attacks. I've had one session of cbt and have been waiting a month for another appointment but no luck.
I can't remember who I used to be...all I feel is fear. I feel like I've been living in a dream state,life is just passing me by. It's getting to the point now were everything fills me with dread,even going to the shop for milk. I get about 4 or 5 panic attacks a day,my life is now spent thinking and feeling the effects of anxiety. I get physical symptoms like dry mouth,diarrhoea and light headedness. If I'm talking to a friend and I go through one of these "episodes" she miswell be speaking German it's like I can't concentrate or understand what she's saying,all I can think about is when the conversation will be over and I can go. It's completely and utterly ruining my life.
My main question is, is there anywhere I can actually check myself into? Like an anxiety clinic? I can't keep going on like this,something has to change.

Thank you for reading my ramblings.

Ps I'm a 31 year old female if that makes a difference.

Airyfairy12

I went through what youre describing, it took years for me to pull myself back and im still not 100%. I had been to gp's, counsellors, took meds and nothing worked. All the years I was trying to get help no doctor or counsellor mentioned any anxiety clinics or check in places, as far as I know mental health institutions and clinics are very expensive and only for people with sever mental issues like schizophrenia. We dont even have proper care for eating disorders here, people suffering from those kind of illnesses are brought to England if their family can afford it. Mental health care in Ireland is a total disgrace. All you can do is keep on at your gp and ring different counsellors to try and get an appointment.

What happened in your life that made your mental health deteriorate so much? can it be something you can work on or remove from your life?

QueenRizla

OP, the time between appointments is very long. There are online CBT programmes that are free. It might help in the meantime if you throw yourself into that and do the exercises to get some coping strategies.

FitnessLife

OP are you suffering from Depersonalisation/Derealisation symptoms from your anxiety, sounds like the dream state. I was where you were and am coming out the other side. You will too. Bad times don't last.

Johnny157

Hi,

I hope this helps - I've been there.
OK, here is what I would do - get a Gp appt and make sure thyroid and bloods are all OK, make sure your vitamin levels are correct - it sounds mad but it is so important.

Secondly, you have to realise that anxiety is the start of the issue - from this you have the dreamlike state, general anxiety, panic etc.
I don't often reply to posts here but I really feel for where you are because to anyone who has not been there it is pretty much unexplainable.

Your strategy should be as follows:
1. Recognise that this is not a permanent state - it WILL get better. Your state is not always a 10 out of 10 anxiety state - so learn to grade your state - some days you are a 9, some an 8, some a 5 etc.
2. You will learn that the more you control this the easier it becomes to feel you are progressing.
3. You have to start small.
4. Recognise the anxiety is the start of it, that it is OK, that people have this and that in your case your anxiety response is disregulated.
5. You need to get to the place where you can see the anxiety abating a little and see that you managed to get it to abate, this takes time.
6. Start small - get Dr Aine Tubridys book - 'When Panic Attacks' - this was my bible. LISTEN TO THE CD EVERY DAY - 3 - 4 TIMES A DAY. THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT - once you learn to relax your reaction and regain control you will start to feel better.
7. Panic attacks were very difficult for me - I eventually learned to just let go when they came - no running away - just let them wash over me - once I realised I would not go mad/die then they lost their power.
8. Make meditation a part of your daily life and see if you can be the 'watcher' of what comes up as you meditate as opposed to being a participant - this is happening now, I can see this, now I am thinking about panic, now it is gone, now I am thinking about work etc. Name each thought.
9. once your little steps yield benefits you will improve.
10. Great if you get CBT but be wary of hanging your hopes on 'the future' or 'someone else fixing this' - you can do a lot of this yourself. If you get CBT it will help.


I fully know where you are and how afraid you are, it will change and you can do it.

Take care.

X

LegacyUser

Op here. Thank you all so much for your replies, I'm genuinely blown away.
@Airyfairy12, ive always been quite anxious,even as a child but it escalated rapidly when I passed out and had some sort of seizure when I was 28 (I've never had any health issues in regards to neurology before so this was terrifying to me) this happened again when I was abroad and alone a year later and they said I had a brain tumour. I came back to Ireland and they said I didn't have a Brain tumour that it was a gland. This really messed my head up. When I'm out I'm terrified of this happening to me and people videoing me and I'll be all over the Internet. So in my head I will never get over this ( may be anxiety talking) as this could happen outside and I would be extremely embarrassed/ashamed.
@fitnesslife I do super from Depersonalisation/Derealisation aswell and it's the scariest thing. This started happening after the second time I passed out when I was abroad.
@johnny157 thanks for all the information in your response,it's nice for people to understand what's going on with me as none of friends suffer from anxiety so I don't talk to them about it as it is impossible to explain and one friend actually said to me she couldn't emphasise with me as she doesn't suffer with mental health problems which was upsetting to hear. I've had my thyroid checked and it was a bit low but not critical levels. My vitamins are ok. I try to stay active and do workouts at home as I couldn't face a gym with so many people. I've taken a screenshot of your post so I can go back on it and go through all the posts and really.focus on trying to get better and get back to my old self.

Thanks again for all your replies it means more than you'll know

FitnessLife

losing myself wrote: »

<Snip> The post is just there ^. There is no need to repost it.

Stay strong OP, it's all a heightened state of anxiety which will pass. My advice would be is to go and talk to your GP and find medication which works for you and try to get out there and do things that you enjoy. You deserve to be happy so be kind to yourself. You will feel better, keep your head up and look after yourself. Genuinely wish you all the best.

lazybones32

There is L'arch community (you'll have to google them cos i can't link/won't link) who have a few centres in Ireland. I know of one man who spent time living with them on the Continent. He had a breakdown and stayed there for nearly a year. I've heard and read stories about people's experience in the Irish communities, so i'd encourage you to think about talking to them. They will have a lot of contacts too, so even if their live-in community doesn't suit you you won't face this alone. They are a charity, so you won't need to mortgage the house to live there. Talk to them at least...

lazybones32

Also, in the meantime, there are Aware meetings held in nearly every town. Look into that.
As corny as it sounds, you could contact St V de P for a house visit if you are feeling lonely and isolated. I did this before for a different crowd and no-one passes any judgement or ridicules those who are lonely or housebound for whatever reason. Fancy biscuits aren't expected but don't throw out stale rich tea's to visitors☺
Think about it.

Dragons

Hi,how are you feeling today?
I have gone through the very same myself and i know how constant and bad it really is.
You are far from alone,lots of us go through the same thing but we keep it to ourselves which makes it worse.
First step posting on here is a great start.
I eventually managed to get out of the house and get to a doctor.i absolutely fell spart and told him how bad it really was for me,he really listened and went through options with me.
Thr right choice for me was medication to start(this eventually stopped all my panic attacks and really lowered my general anxiety) and then counciling to try sort out where my panic stemmed from.
Im now in a relationship and have a full time job.coming from a place where i didnt leave my house for a month its been such a big change but step one is please go and get professional help and advice.
U are not alone😊