Anxiety Taking Over

LegacyUser

Hi all

I don't even know why I am writing this as I know I what I need to do to get back to where I was. Maybe I just want to vent a bit.

A few years ago a close relative had a major psychotic episode which ironically enough sparked anxiety in me. I have had bad panic attacks. I am constantly on edge. I feel like I am in a dream a lot of the time - like I am not real and that what i am seeing isn't real. I can keep talking to people and continue daily tasks but I just feel horrible and like I'm about to faint.

I have done CBT and found it works but I did it for years and years and it definitely hasn't cured me. I am on meds but feel like they aren't doing what they were. Xanax is the only thing that makes me feel normal... although I know that they are addcitve so I try and limit it to when I really feel like I need it (prob one a week at least, 2-3 a week at most).

I just feel a bit all over the place. I worry that my doc will stop prescribing me Xanax because it's getting bad press from people abusing it. I worry that there's some medically wrong with me all the time. I find it hard to be in a relationship, hold down a job, keep fit etc. I am doing all of these things but I feel like it takes more effort for me than most people. A lot of the time I just want to be alone...

I am generally just whining here but I genuinely just feel a bit sick of feeling on edge all the time. I have a lot going for me and I know that but it's just the physical sypmtoms of it that make me feel tired, sore, numb, and distracted. I feel like sometimes I can't enjoy life because of this. I am not suicidal or depressed but I am getting to the point where I am beginning to be a bit self-destructive. Smoking when drinking. Not exercising as much. Comfort eating.. Not exactly shooting heroin but not being myself and it's upsetting me.

Anyone properly overcome anxiety? Feel like this is me for life and i've been like this for 10 years and no end in sight.

Nichololas

We're not allowed give medical advice and some of what you're saying (meds not working like they used to, xanax use) should probably be addressed by a medical professional instead of some people on the internet.

Getting Fed Up wrote: »

I am not suicidal or depressed but I am getting to the point where I am beginning to be a bit self-destructive. Smoking when drinking. Not exercising as much. Comfort eating.. Not exactly shooting heroin but not being myself and it's upsetting me.

It's a fairly big step from 'not being yourself' to 'not exactly shooting heroin' so I may be a bit off the mark here but if you're drinking, smoking, taking a few xanax, plus maybe a few other (recreational or prescribed) drugs, not exercising as much and overeating then you're not going to feel that good, are you? You might not have chronic, clinical depression but it's a slippery slope that -everyone- stands on (even if it looks like they're doing fine).


If I cherry pick a few things that you've written; " I am constantly on edge. I feel like I am in a dream a lot of the time", "on meds but feel like they aren't doing what they were", "I worry that my doc will stop prescribing me Xanax" it sounds like the beginning of something you might want to nip in the bud. Anxiety (and panic attacks in particular) can create a pretty vicious cycle. I'll stop before straying into medical advice, because I think the best advice I can give is to for you to get medical advice.

LegacyUser

Nichololas wrote: »

We're not allowed give medical advice and some of what you're saying (meds not working like they used to, xanax use) should probably be addressed by a medical professional instead of some people on the internet.

It's a fairly big step from 'not being yourself' to 'not exactly shooting heroin' so I may be a bit off the mark here but if you're drinking, smoking, taking a few xanax, plus maybe a few other (recreational or prescribed) drugs, not exercising as much and overeating then you're not going to feel that good, are you? You might not have chronic, clinical depression but it's a slippery slope that -everyone- stands on (even if it looks like they're doing fine).

If I cherry pick a few things that you've written; " I am constantly on edge. I feel like I am in a dream a lot of the time", "on meds but feel like they aren't doing what they were", "I worry that my doc will stop prescribing me Xanax" it sounds like the beginning of something you might want to nip in the bud. Anxiety (and panic attacks in particular) can create a pretty vicious cycle. I'll stop before straying into medical advice, because I think the best advice I can give is to for you to get medical advice.

Yeah I think I need to get to a doctor. I'm quire resiliant and don't think I will ever have a bout of depression - something my CBT has told me seeing as I'm quite good at getting myself on the right track - but it's more the anxiety that bothers me. The feeling like I'm in a dream... constantly... I ran 10K last night and ate healtily all day. I don't think I explained myself brilliantly here tbh.

Vlove

Getting Fed Up wrote: »

Yeah I think I need to get to a doctor. I'm quire resiliant and don't think I will ever have a bout of depression - something my CBT has told me seeing as I'm quite good at getting myself on the right track - but it's more the anxiety that bothers me. The feeling like I'm in a dream... constantly... I ran 10K last night and ate healtily all day. I don't think I explained myself brilliantly here tbh.

I agree with Nichololas there, its best to receive medical advice instead of diagnosing yourself. I mean, we all have anxiety now and again but it's better to treat it with care(something we all should do). I'm glad you're getting CBT because at least you're in the right track in getting yourself sorted with your routine. We'll done as well for doing that 10k keep up