Is there any harm in opposite sex adults sleeping together?

jeanjolie

I'm 20yrs old and I'm going on a trip to the US in a week and a half until mid September. Some time, I'll break off with my father and stay with my female cousin 18 in another state until we leave.

What concerns my parents is the fact that we'll be sleeping in the same bed. They're less iffy about the same room but they really are not comfortable with the former. I know I'm an adult and they've acknowledged that as well; the issue here isn't whether I'm allowed to or not so much as if their reaction is rational.

They've always been semi-traditional non-Irish parents, not too strict but always holding onto their beliefs and in this case, even when my cousin's family is okay with that (she has a mother, 52 and older sister, 26 living together). I don't know what they fear, we're definitely not going to have sex and my cousin says that privacy for her isn't a concern so long as I keep her things in order, maintain good hygeine etc..

What do you think?

pwurple

EW.

The Ick factor is large.

lifeandtimes

There have been plenty of times I've fallen asleep after a night in the same he's as a number or woman and guys.

You're both adults and can do as you like

eeguy

I can't even comprehend how silly that question is.

eviltwin

What's wrong with it

Anyway you are 20, an adult. You can make your own decisions can't you regardless of your parents opinion.

dobman88

Thread title and the op are completely different imo.

To answer the title. No, it's perfectly natural for opposite sex to sleep together.

To answer the op. Yes there's a problem with sleeping with your opposite sex cousin. Boundaries ffs

brilou23

Certain states of America its all ok

fineso.mom

Mmmmh , what a strange question. why do you need to share at all? Your cousin could sleep in with her mother or sister or you could sleep on the couch.

eeguy

dobman88 wrote: »

Thread title and the op are completely different imo.

To answer the title. No, it's perfectly natural for opposite sex to sleep together.

To answer the op. Yes there's a problem with sleeping with your opposite sex cousin. Boundaries ffs

There's nothing wrong with sleeping in the same bed as your cousin. Often slept with male and female friends and family in the same bed. Keep the T-shirt and boxers on. Get some pyjamas if it makes you feel better.

dobman88

eeguy wrote: »

There's nothing wrong with sleeping in the same bed as your cousin. Often slept with male and female friends and family in the same bed. Keep the T-shirt and boxers on. Get some pyjamas if it makes you feel better.

When you're a young kid, acceptable.

When you're an adult, creepy.

eeguy

dobman88 wrote: »

When you're a young kid, acceptable.

When you're an adult, creepy.

Why? I can understand if you were living together or it was a single bed, but for a week or so its not creepy at all. So long as you don't wake up with the other person spooning you.

Is it that much different to sleeping in a twin room?

dobman88

eeguy wrote: »

Why? I can understand if you were living together or it was a single bed, but for a week or so its not creepy at all. So long as you don't wake up with the other person spooning you.

Is it that much different to sleeping in a twin room?

Yes very different. Are there no boundaries? Although as has been mentioned, sleeping with family is acceptable in some states

XsApollo

Wouldn't bother me,
If ye are both ok with it , what's the problem.

kylith

dobman88 wrote: »

Yes very different. Are there no boundaries? Although as has been mentioned, sleeping with family is acceptable in some states

What boundaries? They're just sharing a bed, not having mad orgies.e

OP, get some pyjamas, and try not to dry-hump her in your sleep.

eeguy

dobman88 wrote: »

Yes very different. Are there no boundaries? Although as has been mentioned, sleeping with family is acceptable in some states

What sort of boundaries would you like? They're just sleeping in the same bed. What do you think will happen?

dobman88

Some creepy fcukers on this forum if ye have no problem jumping into bed with a family member

Big Bag of Chips

Why do you have to share a bed?

cactusgal

dobman88 wrote: »

Yes very different. Are there no boundaries? Although as has been mentioned, sleeping with family is acceptable in some states

Yes, it's legal in some US states.

However, it's also legal in the Republic of Ireland. All of it: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/getting_married/legal_prerequisites_for_marriage.html

Op, just sleep on the couch. Sharing a bed with your cousin when you're no longer kids is weird.

ted1

Sleep on the couch, Morning Wood rubbing against an 18 year old girl that's your cousin isn't something that you want

jeanjolie

Wow never knew we had so many backwards people here in Ireland...didn't know sharing a bed was the equivalent to a misdemanour...

eeguy

dobman88 wrote: »

Some creepy fcukers on this forum if ye have no problem jumping into bed with a family member

Creepy fcukers are the ones who's minds turn to perversions when it's mentioned.

freshpopcorn

Wear some type of night wear or lounge wear to bed and I don't see the issue!
People who make issues out of things like this are generally creeped out by everything and can be pathetic in my opinion.

Austria!

Are people understanding the question? He's not asking about having sex with her, just sleeping in the same bed for convenience.

I would have zero problem with this and would challenge anyone to provide an actual argument against it.

baby and crumble

I have shared sleeping arrangements with both men and women (I'm a lesbian just FYI) and don't see a problem. It's not like the OP is about to bang his cousin. It's a bed, and it's SLEEPING. Ok yeah maybe don't spoon her during the night like!

Ursus Horribilis

jeanjolie wrote: »

Wow never knew we had so many backwards people here in Ireland...didn't know sharing a bed was the equivalent to a misdemanour...

So if this is your opinion on the matter, why did you start the thread?

Donal55

Jerry Springer show had a few programmes on this.

FriendFree93

OP you obviously think it's a little odd if you started the thread.

I wouldn't like to share a bed with a grown cousin of the opposite sex. Not because there's anything sexual about it but because we fart and snore and scratch and do all sorts in our sleep and I just wouldn't be comfortable with it.

fizzypish

Kip on the couch or the floor. If the ick factor doesn't bother you go for it but I would presume it might bother her too. I'd take the floor over sharing a bed with a male friend or female I've no amorous intentions with. You can give out about society and its norms till the cows come home but this is the society we live in and its generally considered a tiny bit weird.

mahamageehad

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping beside a member of the other sex in a non sexual way. I've done so in the past and was completely comfortable with it. That would be with friends id be comfortable with though. Under no circumstances would I bed in with a male cousin, especially if I didn't know them that well. I just wouldn't be comfortable with it. Hell, I'd find it awkward to bed in with an aunt even in a double bed. I'd happily sleep on the couch or on the floor though.

Ursus Horribilis

OP, from what I can see, you started this thread as a vehicle to bash backwards Irish people. I don't see what the problem is. If you and your cousin are happy to share a bed, go right ahead. You're adults and can make your own decisions.

Personally, I'd be wondering what sort of tight feckers your relatives are. Do they not have an air mattress or folding bed in their place?

Hitman3000

jeanjolie wrote:

What do you think?

Thread title bears no resemblance to OP, that for a reason?
As for sleeping with your female cousin you go for it. Certain states in the US have a strong tradition of shall we say "keeping it in the family". I believe sofa beds or inflatable mattresses are non existent in the US.

jeanjolie

FriendFree93 wrote: »

OP you obviously think it's a little odd if you started the thread.

I wouldn't like to share a bed with a grown cousin of the opposite sex. Not because there's anything sexual about it but because we fart and snore and scratch and do all sorts in our sleep and I just wouldn't be comfortable with it.

And you wouldn't get farts, snoring and scratches from a same sex cousin?

Ursus Horribilis

Why would anyone want to share a bed with their cousin of either gender at 20 years of age. Do air mattresses, sofa beds, futons or other sorts of temporary bedding not exist in the land of the free?

jeanjolie

mahamageehad wrote: »

I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping beside a member of the other sex in a non sexual way. I've done so in the past and was completely comfortable with it. That would be with friends id be comfortable with though. Under no circumstances would I bed in with a male cousin, especially if I didn't know them that well. I just wouldn't be comfortable with it. Hell, I'd find it awkward to bed in with an aunt even in a double bed. I'd happily sleep on the couch or on the floor though.

Do you fear them 'fondling' you at night? My cousin trusts me. We've been pretty close in the past and she says that she feels absolutely nothing sexual towards me.

I respect your opinion but personally I just can't understand the reasoning of not sleeping with an opposite sex cousin. If you knew they were asexual (since I assume you're afraid of something being sexual) would that change your mind? Isn't that a bit sexist?

Ursus Horribilis

Why did you start this thread? Are you just trolling for the craic?

FriendFree93

jeanjolie wrote: »

And you wouldn't get farts, snoring and scratches from a same sex cousin?

I'd be less embarrassed about bodily fluids and noises infront of a female cousin. Saying that I'm close to my female cousin's so that's why it wouldn't be a thing.

You obviously think it's ok to sleep in a bed with a grown women of the opposite sex so go ahead and do it. What you are comfortable with is what matters. Though you wouldn't of started the thread if you were okay with it

jeanjolie

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Why did you start this thread? Are you just trolling for the craic?

No, I wanted honest opinions but I didn't expect such conservative opinions..

I mean really, honestly if you trust each other and don't have this obsession with the 'ick', why would you not sleep together? It seems utterly baffling to get obsessive over something minor.

jebus28

At what point did you have a conversation with your cousin about sexual attraction? Jesus..

Ursus Horribilis

It's not an actual problem for you though, is it? I mean you're happy to share a bed with your cousin. What's your issue, other than enjoying bashing "conservative" people? This looks like like a debate and not someone who is looking for advice.

FriendFree93

How does your cousin feel about it? Her being the women I'd be giving her the option if she wanted you in the bed.

Hitman3000

jeanjolie wrote:

I mean really, honestly if you trust each other and don't have this obsession with the 'ick', why would you not sleep together? It seems utterly baffling to get obsessive over something minor.

Sure why not sleep with your 56 year old auntie so instead of your 18 year cousin if like you said there is no issue?

The Princess Bride

jeanjolie wrote: »

My cousin trusts me. We've been pretty close in the past and she says that she feels absolutely nothing sexual towards me

Seriously.
Who even has this conversation with a cousin?

Do what you wanna do.
It really doesn't matter what others think if you're both okay with it.

jeanjolie

Okay. I suppose the 'issue' is resolved. can the mods close this thread please.

Hitman3000

jeanjolie wrote:

Okay. I suppose the 'issue' is resolved. can the mods close this thread please.

Ah don't it's great craic summons up thoughts of Berndine and Cletus.

FriendFree93

jeanjolie wrote: »

My cousin trusts me. We've been pretty close in the past and she says that she feels absolutely nothing sexual towards me.

?

The fact you had that conversation with your cousin is a bigger issue here.

Hitman3000

jeanjolie wrote:

Okay. I suppose the 'issue' is resolved. can the mods close this thread please.

So I take it you won't sleep with your 56 year old auntie, why not. Surely it would be no different than sleeping with your 18 year old cousin.

jeanjolie

Hitman3000 wrote: »

So I take it you won't sleep with your 56 year old auntie, why not. Surely it would be no different than sleeping with your 18 year old cousin.

I would of course...provided she's okay with it.

As I said, I see nothing wrong with either. Do you think I'm a rapist or something?