Brides giving speech

MiliMe

I'm in two minds about giving a speech. Anyone give or plan on giving one?? Any advice...

mcgiggles

Gona plan to say a few words but see how I feel on the day.. I HATE speaking in public :-(

HurlingRanker

MiliMe wrote: »

I'm in two minds about giving a speech. Anyone give or plan on giving one?? Any advice...

Why are you in two minds? If there's something you want to say and you've put a bit of thought into it then definitely should if it's what you want!

I was at a wedding a year ago where the bride spoke, was surprising at first because that was the first time that happened at a wedding I was at. Was good though, something different, and she did fine.

I can't give great speech advice as I completely messed my one up earlier this year! Well it was ok really, I just stood up and suffered a catastrophic mental block and forgot what I had wrote down. I remembered the key bullet points and just improvised from there, and it was probably more heartfelt than some structured and practised performance.

Oh yeah, not only did the bride speak but her sister spoke too for a few minutes! It was nice though. If it's what you want to do then so be it!

baby and crumble

We're not doing "speeches", more like toasts. But I will be saying something, and I have a feeling bride 2 will as well.

Kalimah

I got married in 1988 and made a speech!

SwD

Its your day. Do as you please. If your feeling it, do it. If your not, don't. But don't let it stress you out. Enjoy the day!

Toots

I did at mine. I went last, so everyone who'd needed to be 'officially' thanked, had already been thanked, so I did a kind of jokey one and thanked the group of friends who introduced me and the hubby, said a few nice bits about him and his family and sat back down. I wrote it all down cos I tend to go off on tangents, and that helped me keep it short and sweet.

missmatty

I did and I really enjoyed it. My husband has a phobia of public speaking so he was happy for me to do it on our behalf.

MiliMe

HurlingRanker wrote:

Why are you in two minds? If there's something you want to say and you've put a bit of thought into it then definitely should if it's what you want!

I'm just not sure if I'd be stressing about it for the day. Tho we are having a small wedding so it's just our closest friends and family so if I mess up it's not really the end of the world. I'll probably just never hear the end of it. 😊

TheRiverman

I was at a wedding last year where the speeches were almost non existent.The best man just called on the priest to say grace and the groom said a few nice words of thanks and that was it.Lovely relaxing time for everyone.

neonsofa

MiliMe wrote: »

I'm just not sure if I'd be stressing about it for the day. Tho we are having a small wedding so it's just our closest friends and family so if I mess up it's not really the end of the world. I'll probably just never hear the end of it. 😊

Once you don't call your hubby by the wrong name, not alot can go too wrong, don't worry about it! People understand that nerves happen.

ChewChew

My only regret is that I didn't do a speech and it was after the honeymoon when I actually thought about it and that I would have liked to have done one! So go for it if you're thinking about it

GingerLily

It makes sense to address your guests, I'll definitely say some words but I don't think it will qualify as a speech

autumnbelle

TheRiverman wrote: »

I was at a wedding last year where the speeches were almost non existent.The best man just called on the priest to say grace and the groom said a few nice words of thanks and that was it.Lovely relaxing time for everyone.

This is what I want

skallywag

If you feel confident speaking in public then I would say go ahead by all means. I actually think it's great when the bride says a few words. But if you are in any way nervous about it at all then I would say give it a swerve, you don't want it to be gnawing at you during the day, you will have enough on your mind. Nobody will be expecting you so say anything at all, so you can just make an impromptu decision at the time as to whether you feel like adding a few words or not.

lawred2

If you want to - do it

If you don't - don't

mcgiggles

My thing is I want to do it, but if I don't feel like it on the day I'm not gona pressure myself to do it :-)

An Bhanríon

If you would like to give a speech at your wedding I would say go for it.

We only had two speeches at ours. I spoke first and then my husband. We both spoke for around the same amount of time, sharing anecdotes, thanking people, etc. It took me ages to write my speech and it went through God knows how many drafts, but the preparation was well worth it and it went down really well.

Not that you need to give a big long speech as a bride. I think people love when the bride speaks anyway, even if it is just a few words. But I had seen a few brides give speeches before my wedding that were just as good as any groom or best man speech so I decided to go for it.

Our wedding didn't follow the normal speech pattern, though, because we had no best man or bridesmaid (our mothers were our witnesses) and both fathers are dead so there was no fathers' speeches either. And our mothers would have had no interest in giving a speech!

cailinoBAC

I'm not great at public speaking but I gave a speech, but really it was just me thanking a lot of different people who I wanted to thank directly or who wouldn't have got decent enough thanks from others! My sister got married a few weeks ago and she and my other sister both gave speeches. If you don't want to do it, don't but no reason why it should just be the guys!

tickingclock

I did and I feel strongly that no one could've thanked my folks as heartfelt as I did on the day. I always think it's impersonal when the groom thanks the bride's parents. I also wanted to acknowledge my friends and neighbours that are wonderful. However, I'm used to speaking in public and I wasn't that nervous!!
Practice a few times before the main event and enjoy yourself.

miamee

i'm not a public speaker but made a speech at my sister's wedding last year as her chief bridesmaid. I wasn't sure I'd go through with it but had it all prepared and just let the best man know before he kicked off the speeches that I'd say a couple of words and that was it. I was so bervous I did it all while sitting down at the top table but other than that it went really well, few funny bits thrown in there to liven things up

SozBbz

I love it when the bride speaks. Doesnt have to be a full on best man type speech complete with witty anecdotes and embarrassing stories, but as one of the two most important people there, why would you not say a few words, even if its more of a toast than a full on speech.

The men only speaking tradition is one of the patriarchal traditions about weddings that irk me, so I love it when a bride bucks that trend.

GingerLily

SozBbz wrote: »

I love it when the bride speaks. Doesnt have to be a full on best man type speech complete with witty anecdotes and embarrassing stories, but as one of the two most important people there, why would you not say a few words, even if its more of a toast than a full on speech.

The men only speaking tradition is one of the patriarchal traditions about weddings that irk me, so I love it when a bride bucks that trend.

Exactly!!!!!

mcgiggles

SozBbz wrote:

I love it when the bride speaks. Doesnt have to be a full on best man type speech complete with witty anecdotes and embarrassing stories, but as one of the two most important people there, why would you not say a few words, even if its more of a toast than a full on speech.

That's why I'd like to do it, I don't really care who else speaks, the day is about the 2 of us and I think its nice when the bride speaks :-) hopefully some bubbles will help with my nerves :-)

scarepanda

I think I'm going to be speaking on behalf of us. Himself doesn't want to and I would like to thank everyone. It'll just basically be a thank you speech rather than anything witty.

Sunny Dayz

I don't think it needs to be a full on speech but if the bride wants to speak and has people she wants to thank personally and publicly then go for it.
I only remember seeing it once - it was a friend of mine - she thanked both families and her bridesmaids for all their help in the run up to the wedding, thanked her husband's family for being so welcoming and thanked us, her group of girlfriends, for everything over the years. We've all been friends since school and been through some highs and lows. Ah stop I'm welling up thinking of it, we were all teary at the time!!

Spanish Eyes

Speeches are so boring and time consuming. We already know about the B+G (as much as we want to!), so best kept really short, thanks, welcome, raise a toast, great to see you, enjoy. The End. Whew.

I'm all for the Bride to do this. But not as an appendage. Then eat drink and be merry!

mirrorwall14

I didn't want to and didn't. I was more than happy to let my husband talk for me. I knew the speeches would be decent and reasonably long as husband, best man and my Dad are all experienced public speakers.

Having said that I performed with my musical group straight after the meal so I had enough to be going on with!

JennyZ

Make up your own rules, it's your wedding. If you want to stand up and thank people for being there then do. You don't have to do it on the day if you suddenly don't feel like doing it so don't put pressure on yourself in advance. There is nothing written in stone on who or who should or should not speak. I've been to weddings where the mother of the bride stepped in when the father refused to speak, where a groom gave 2 words and on a few occasions people other than the groomsman gave a speech, really nobody cares. The main thing is just to thank guests for being there on the day.

stinkle

I was never *not* going to do a speech though I think that surprised some people as I'm quite quiet. I do speak in public a lot for work, but it still gives me anxiety, however having that experience made me more relaxed for the speech. i still wasnt 100% about doing it until the day itself, but like other above have said, I only felt that I could properly thank certain people, like my folks, my siblings for some of the wedding stuff they helped with, my bridesmaid who travelled a looooong way to be there, and so on. Husband had family travelling from all over the world, while my family were mostly local so I got a few jokes in about that. Plus I did a better job than my husband of remembering some of the people we needed to thank so I filled in anyone he forgot!

It was very enjoyable to do, though I wasnt able to sit through the speech parts of the video ever without cringing at my bit! Sure have a few notes at hand, if youre the type to go off on a tangent then have s "STOP WAFFLING NOW!!!!" little cue on your notes, and be sure to have some tissues and water close by. The beauty of a bride's speech is that there are no rules really, just be yourself, it doesnt have to be massively long or anything. I think it's nice to have a female voice in what is traditionally a very male-dominated part of the day.

huggles85

I spoke at my wedding this year. I wrote a few lines a week before the wedding of what I wanted to say then on the day just put some key words on a piece of paper and worked around the rest. I really enjoyed speaking - on the day you are surrounded by people you love and as Stinkle said above - its nice to have a female voice in what is traditionally a very male part of the day. Alot of women at my wedding commented on the same point after.  Women bring a total different slant on it when they speak too (IMO).  Its your day, if the mood takes you then go for it!!