Feel Like I'm Doing Something Stupid

kylith

I don't really, but I don't know how to put it into words properly.

OH and I have been together about 7 months now and have recently decided to stop worrying about if I get pregnant. I want kids, I'm in my mid-30s, and I 100% trust that even if the relationship were to fail he will be a good and involved father. We've known each other, on and off, for a long time and even almost got together as teenagers.

Its just that after almost 20 years of Don't Get Pregnant it's hard to switch to the mindset of Pregnant is OK. I feel like I'm doing something stupid and irresponsible. I suppose that it's because it's such a huge, life altering thing; and not just my life, his life and a child's life too. And then there's the worry about what if I can't get pregnant? Do I want it enough to go for IVF?

Is this normal? This is normal, right? It's not something you ever feel 'ready' for? He's all excited about it, researching fertility rates, conception times for women in their 30s, gestational milestones, and the rest, and I'm just a wee bit terrified about growing a human.

Meeeee79

kylith wrote: »

OH and I have been together about 7 months now and have recently decided to stop worrying about if I get pregnant. I want kids, I'm in my mid-30s, and I 100% trust that even if the relationship were to fail he will be a good and involved father.

This is all very me, me ,me, what does he want? Hard to give advice when we dont know his view on it.

kylith

Meeeee79 wrote: »

This is all very me, me ,me, what does he want? Hard to give advice when we dont know his view on it.

As per my last paragraph:

He's all excited about it, researching fertility rates, conception times for women in their 30s, gestational milestones, and the rest

Meeeee79

Oops sorry!! I literally read the whole thing but obviously had my question in my head before this line and I didnt take it in!

to be honest I wouldn't be rushing into it. It sounds like this is right time right place in your head but not necessarily right person (but not necessarily wrong person). To me it sounds like no matter what person you were with right now you would think this was a good idea as you seem to really want a baby. My only advice would be wiat 6 months. See how you feel then. If you are both still as excited and stable and financially equipped to give a child the life it deserves then go for it but take those 6 months for the reality of what having a baby would be like sink in for both of you.

Ps. Im also not sure from your post if this is the advice you are looking for or if its more what its like to be pregnant advice you are after so ignore my post if this is not what you are getting at!

kylith

kylith wrote: »

I feel like I'm doing something stupid and irresponsible. I suppose that it's because it's such a huge, life altering thing; and not just my life, his life and a child's life too.

It's a funny thing, we women spend most of our lives trying NOT to get pregnant so I guess it's complicated when we decide to change that mindset.

You want kids, you're with someone you love who wants kids, you're in a great place for having kids.

But it must be tough to turn off that switch and accept the fact that another person could be growing inside you any day now!

So go easy on yourself, accept that it's mind-boggling and life changing and ginormous and trust that you're happy with your decision and are doing something wonderful.

Am I right in thinking that it's the relative newness of the relationship that's niggling at you? Seven months isn't a very long time, though if you knew each other before you got together that changes that too.

Your gut is a great barometer I always believe. If your gut is telling you to go for it and it'll all work out, pull out all the stops and go for it. If your gut keeps telling you it's a bad idea or to be cautious, then maybe put off the decision for another month or two, or three. You need to be comfortable with this to feel confident about it.

Sorry, I'm not much help!

meeeeh

I think sometimes it is better to just jump. You can be the best prepared person and still struggle or you can just wing it and everything goes smoothly. You are not a spotty teenager who thinks it would be cute to have a baby, your living/working situation is probably relatively secure, the relationship is at an early stages but you are probably know by now what your partner is like. For me having a baby was harder than I imagined but I also did not imagine that I would love it so much. Don't let the fear stop you.

kylith

Meeeee79 wrote: »

Oops sorry!! I literally read the whole thing but obviously had my question in my head before this line and I didnt take it in!

to be honest I wouldn't be rushing into it. It sounds like this is right time right place in your head but not necessarily right person (but not necessarily wrong person). To me it sounds like no matter what person you were with right now you would think this was a good idea as you seem to really want a baby. My only advice would be wiat 6 months. See how you feel then. If you are both still as excited and stable and financially equipped to give a child the life it deserves then go for it but take those 6 months for the reality of what having a baby would be like sink in for both of you.

Ps. Im also not sure from your post if this is the advice you are looking for or if its more what its like to be pregnant advice you are after so ignore my post if this is not what you are getting at!

I hope I'm not rushing into anything, I've made a conscious decision to put it off previously when I was in a relationship where I wasn't sure that he was really 100% on board, and I wound up being right about that. This guy is wonderful, really supportive, and I love him very much. He's excited for us to be a family, to the point where I've asked him to keep it a bit quiet until we know if anything's going to happen or not. I have PCOS and I don't want family members asking if anythings happening when nothing might happen at all; that way I don't have to admit... failure's the wrong word...that it's a no-go. Better to tell them once I'm pregnant than tell them every month that I'm not.

I'm not even sure if I'm looking for advice as such, more reassurance that it's normal to be a bit 'Jebus Cripes, what have I just decided to do?!' That kind of standing on a bridge, attached to a bungie cord feeling.

Deleted User wrote: »

It's a funny thing, we women spend most of our lives trying NOT to get pregnant so I guess it's complicated when we decide to change that mindset.

You want kids, you're with someone you love who wants kids, you're in a great place for having kids.

But it must be tough to turn off that switch and accept the fact that another person could be growing inside you any day now!

So go easy on yourself, accept that it's mind-boggling and life changing and ginormous and trust that you're happy with your decision and are doing something wonderful.

That's it, I suppose. Since I became sexually active the emphasis has been on not getting pregnant, I'm finding it hard to wrap my head around purposefully doing something it's been drilled into me not to do.

I think your mind is made up, Kylith. It's just your habits that are holding you back. If you want this and he wants this - and you don't seem to have any reservations about that at all - then do it. Best of luck to both of you with it too.

kylith

Candie wrote: »

Am I right in thinking that it's the relative newness of the relationship that's niggling at you? Seven months isn't a very long time, though if you knew each other before you got together that changes that too.

Your gut is a great barometer I always believe. If your gut is telling you to go for it and it'll all work out, pull out all the stops and go for it. If your gut keeps telling you it's a bad idea or to be cautious, then maybe put off the decision for another month or two, or three. You need to be comfortable with this to feel confident about it.

Sorry, I'm not much help!

No, seven months isn't a long time in a relationship, and I'm aware of that. We're half living together and are able to talk about when we need space, or support. It's nice to be in a relationship where you can exactly verbalise what your thinking or feeling without fear of judgement.

My gut is excited, but nervous, wondering if I've made the right decision. I'm always like this though; so paralysed by trying to be sure that I'm sure that I'm never sure, if that makes sense. Even when adopting my dog they had the homecheck done and the dog all-but gift wrapped before my brain accepted that this was something that I had decided to do.

sadie1502

7 months that's a relatively new relationship I'd be cautious too to be honest. There's no way I'd be having a kid with someone that soon to be honest.

kylith

kylith wrote: »

My gut is excited, but nervous, wondering if I've made the right decision.

There'd be something wrong if you weren't nervous, it's just an acknowledgement of the magnitude of the decision. Nerves are to be expected really.

Ms2011

Both of my pregnancies were wanted & planned & both times when I saw the positive tests I bawled my eyes out with seer panic of what the hell have I just done;)
Both times life changed & both times we adjusted.
Being nervous I think is a very normal emotion when making such a huge decision but I think the fact that it's excited nervousness says alot

Lux23

sadie1502 wrote: »

7 months that's a relatively new relationship I'd be cautious too to be honest. There's no way I'd be having a kid with someone that soon to be honest.

When you hit your mid-30s and you want to have a kid you might have to take a leap of faith.

I was thinking of doing the same thing kylith, just stop using any kind of contraception just to see what might happen. I think I am more scared of nothing happening though.

kylith

Lux23 wrote: »

When you hit your mid-30s and you want to have a kid you might have to take a leap of faith.

Yeah, that's the worry, if I put it off and this relationship doesn't work then my next stop would have to be a sperm bank, or Coppers. Not that I'd be considering doing this if I had any concerns about this guy. I'd rather not have kids than be stuck tied to a jerk for 18 years.

Lux23 wrote: »

I was thinking of doing the same thing kylith, just stop using any kind of contraception just to see what might happen. I think I am more scared of nothing happening though.

That's a scary thought too.

Neyite

Kylith, it is monumental - like stepping off a cliff. Like Ms2011, when I finally did get that extra line on the test with a fully planned, long awaited baby, I did have that momentary 'ohsh!t' moment. And it's a surreal feeling walking out of the hospital with that baby in the MaxiCosi and being pure bemused that security /social services were actually letting two clueless yokes walk out with a baby!

None of us know what the future holds for our relationships. We hope that we are happy until we are old and decrepit. But one thing he and I were rock solid on was that even if down the line we were to split, our feelings and emotions would come secondary to the welfare of any children involved. It looks like you've got as much confirmation of that as you can in your relationship too.

Being nervous, thinking about all the possibilities is a good thing. Anyone can be a parent, but the ones who do the research, think carefully, and try their best are the good ones. And we still screw up and do stuff wrong from time to time and see moments that weren't our finest.

Do you live together?

sadie1502

Lux23 wrote: »

When you hit your mid-30s and you want to have a kid you might have to take a leap of faith.

I was thinking of doing the same thing kylith, just stop using any kind of contraception just to see what might happen. I think I am more scared of nothing happening though.

Well I still wouldn't just jump in with someone and bring a child into the world after seven months. Seven months IMO is way too soon to have a baby together regardless of what age i would be.

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kylith

Neyite wrote: »

Do you live together?

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We live together 5 nights a week or so, and the only reason its not more is that my brother lives with me and grouses about us taking over the place.

My parents own the house I live in and we are currently in discussion with them about buying it from them.

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kylith

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I see what you're saying and will take it on board. The house he's currently renting has just gone sale agreed so he will be moving in fully before long. He does more around the place than my brother, who officially lives there, does.

We are in a relationship for 7 months, but have known each other, on and off, since we were 16/17.

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neonsofa

kylith wrote: »

I'm not even sure if I'm looking for advice as such, more reassurance that it's normal to be a bit 'Jebus Cripes, what have I just decided to do?!' That kind of standing on a bridge, attached to a bungie cord feeling.

.

I suppose my feeling on it would be, is he standing holding your hand on the bridge or has he gone and jumped off it himself already because he's so excited to get going? Ye can't both jump together but you're both going into it together and you should both feel supported and united in your decision because if ye aren't at his stage then it'll only get worse when a baby arrives.

And you don't want to feel resentment towards him if you find it difficult or you feel it was too soon so you need to be sure if it's your own decision-made with him- even if it is a decision that scares you!

I'd try living together full time first and have the housing situation sorted prior to getting pregnant.

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It's a fair point though, get all the extraneous stresses sorted before bringing the added stress of new parenthood into the picture. New babies can be make of break, and I've seen couples find it very hard.

I think getting the living together and the home sorted can only make the transition from new couple to new family easier.

It does make a huge difference that you've known each other so long, seven months from introduction is a different situation altogether.

meeeeh

I don't know how long you need to live together because transition we had was very easy although we did live together a few years before we had children. What I would never want to do again is building a house and moving houses a month after our first one was born. That was hugely stressful.

eviltwin

Planned or unplanned, finding out you are going to have a baby is a terrifying thought especially when it's your first and you've no experience of how it will go or the impact it will have on your life. It's a huge decision to make, you are bound to be nervous. I too would be wary of having a baby so soon into a relationship although it worked for me. We were only properly dating 5 months and not living together either but we'd known each other a long time so it wasn't like he was a stranger. Look, no one here can judge, we don't know your situation. Just don't rush into it because you are worried that it might not happen if you wait.

Madam Oblong

If your gut says go for it, then go for it...sounds like he's on board and in your mid-30s it's not likely to happen right away! Not trying, not preventing seems to be a good approach

Jixa

I'm 2 years with my boyfriend in November and next month will mark a year since we've moved in together! Next month will also be when our baby is arriving! We only knew each other for a few months before we got together and things moved really (REALLY) quickly with us because it just felt so right. If it feels right then go for it! You know how you feel and he knows how he feels and if you're both on the same page, there's no reason not to go for it!

I was on the contraceptive bar twice without break so that was 6 years and then moved from the bar to the pill straight away with no break for 2 years. So 8 years on constant contraception. We went to the doctor to talk about it and she said to start trying but 'realistically' it will be around 9months to a year before anything happened because of the contraception situation, despite me being 24 at the time. I came off my pill at the start of November and found out on New Years Day I was 4 weeks pregnant! So what I'm trying to say is, make sure you're prepared for it to happen now, even if it doesn't - Not in a few months or a year, considering what people and your doctor will possibly say because you're over 30! We started trying for the baby with it in our heads it will take months and months, that right now we'd be finding out we're having a baby and not 4 weeks away from having her!

It really is the most amazing thing though and I wish you both the very best with everything if you decide to go ahead with it xx

pwurple

Absolutely know what you mean. It's a headwreck, and can easily affect your sex life if you don't get it straight in your own head actually. I found it took a while tbh.

There's a whole online community of women trying to get pregnant who start talking in terminology of "doing the babydance" , and taking it on like a work project who would scare the life out of you. Trying to get pregnant initially was probably the least sexy sex we've every had! We had a chat about it, and basically decided that he felt huge pressure of having to perform when he was aware of things like ovulation calendars, so we made that all a mystery (to him), and it worked much better. I know couples who have broken up from it, so be aware of that too maybe!


I know this is cheeky of me and you're being very realistic and rational here, but this line in your post... "I 100% trust that even if the relationship were to fail he will be a good and involved father. "...
It's almost resigned to it ending already, rather than what was unsaid... which would ideally be more like: "We will do our utmost to make this relationship work, through all the hard times being parents brings"

Can I ask why you're not considering marriage? There are some legal and financial implications of children that you should probably think through.
- Next of kin. If something happened you during pregnancy or childbirth for example, he can't consent to medical procedures, you'd have to have a parents or whoever is your next of kin available, next of kin becomes your spouse when married.
- Inheritance. Should either of you be hit by a bus and have a life policy or death in service at work or elsewhere. Family disputes about inheritance, preparation for that eventuality, and tax implications of inheritance if not married.
-Guardianship of the baby for him, as you've not lived together, it's not automatic, he would need to apply for it afterwards. This again can make a difference for medical procedures (unable to consent for medical treatment for the baby.. so for example, he couldn't bring the baby to the doctor for their vaccinations), travel (he couldn't travel solo with the baby).
-Tax credits, yours won't transfer to him if you want to take extended maternity leave.

All these legal bits and pieces that need to be manually taken care of if you're not married.

pwurple

pwurple wrote: »

I know this is cheeky of me and you're being very realistic and rational here, but this line in your post... "I 100% trust that even if the relationship were to fail he will be a good and involved father. "...
It's almost resigned to it ending already, rather than what was unsaid... which would ideally be more like: "We will do our utmost to make this relationship work, through all the hard times being parents brings"

Can I ask why you're not considering marriage? There are some legal and financial implications of children that you should probably think through.
- Next of kin. If something happened you during pregnancy or childbirth for example, he can't consent to medical procedures, you'd have to have a parents or whoever is your next of kin available, next of kin becomes your spouse when married.
- Inheritance. Should either of you be hit by a bus and have a life policy or death in service at work or elsewhere. Family disputes about inheritance, preparation for that eventuality, and tax implications of inheritance if not married.
-Guardianship of the baby for him, as you've not lived together, it's not automatic, he would need to apply for it afterwards. This again can make a difference for medical procedures (unable to consent for medical treatment for the baby.. so for example, he couldn't bring the baby to the doctor for their vaccinations), travel (he couldn't travel solo with the baby).
-Tax credits, yours won't transfer to him if you want to take extended maternity leave.

All these legal bits and pieces that need to be manually taken care of if you're not married.

I'm with my boyfriend over a year and still say "who knows what's around the corner". Perhaps Kylith is trying to be cautious but at the same time conflicted because of her desire to have a baby. As for the legal implications of not being married, well there are many unmarried families happily living their lives.

Kylith, this is a decision that only you will be able to come to. I understand why you would want advice but sometimes that can muddy your own intuition. Life is short and we only get one shot at it. Trust yourself and the best of luck to you.

pwurple

Deleted User wrote: »

As for the legal implications of not being married, well there are many unmarried families happily living their lives.

Absolutely true. It has no bearing on happiness whatsoever. Speaking from my own experience, it can become an issue when the sh1t hits the fan. I was living with my boyfriend for years, we had bought our house together etc, happy out, didn't see the need for the marriage, sure weren't we grand as we were. (This was before the cohabitation act, which would have made a difference for us, but still wouldn't apply here in OP's case)

Then he had an accident at home. Massive blood loss, he was not conscious. Ambulance arrived, and I couldn't consent to a damn thing, I had to phone his mum (who was in hospital for cancer treatment) to get verbal consent. It's no harm to be at least aware of your rights.

It's also an issue for father's rights. Some men are denied access to their own children because the relationship breaks down, and they discover they are then out in the cold with no entitlement whatsoever. As a feminist, and for equality's sake, men's rights of access to their children are as important as women's. Those limitations are something to be aware of before you go down that road.

If people making the decision to marry or not marry, whichever way it goes, let that be an informed choice is all I'm saying. Most of the items I listed above can be worked around without marriage through other legal means, like applying to the courts for guardianship etc. (bar the tax one I think?).

rainbow kirby

Madam Oblong wrote: »

in your mid-30s it's not likely to happen right away!

Wouldn't necessarily agree with that! There are a hell of a lot of couples in that age group that conceive quickly and that have unplanned pregnancies because the decline in fertility by mid-30s is a bit overstated generally.

I'm 33 and 13 weeks at the moment, it's never taken us more than 2 cycles.

kylith

Thanks for all the comments, folks. Ye've given me food for thought and even though I'm going to do what I want anyway (:P) it's good to consider it from different sides.

pwurple, we have been discussing marriage and though he's not sold on the idea he does seem to be coming round to it as something that would be easier than trying to sort out all familial rights separately. And the tax.

I'm about as far from a bridezilla as you can get, and the thought of spending money I don't have on trying to organise a big ceremony I don't want gives me palpatations so, thinking about it, all the stress would be in telling people trying to push me into a big wedding to insert their opinions where the sun doesn't shine. A licence and a nice meal out, with a session back at the house, would do me nicely.

neonsofa

kylith wrote: »

Thanks for all the comments, folks. Ye've given me food for thought and even though I'm going to do what I want anyway (:P) it's good to consider it from different sides.

pwurple, we have been discussing marriage and though he's not sold on the idea he does seem to be coming round to it as something that would be easier than trying to sort out all familial rights separately. And the tax.

I'm about as far from a bridezilla as you can get, and the thought of spending money I don't have on trying to organise a big ceremony I don't want gives me palpatations so, thinking about it, all the stress would be in telling people trying to push me into a big wedding to insert their opinions where the sun doesn't shine. A licence and a nice meal out, with a session back at the house, would do me nicely.

Aw kylith, sounds lovely, very exciting time for you and your little growing family. I wish you all the best.

bee06

pwurple wrote: »

Absolutely know what you mean. It's a headwreck, and can easily affect your sex life if you don't get it straight in your own head actually. I found it took a while tbh.

There's a whole online community of women trying to get pregnant who start talking in terminology of "doing the babydance" , and taking it on like a work project who would scare the life out of you. Trying to get pregnant initially was probably the least sexy sex we've every had! We had a chat about it, and basically decided that he felt huge pressure of having to perform when he was aware of things like ovulation calendars, so we made that all a mystery (to him), and it worked much better. I know couples who have broken up from it, so be aware of that too maybe!

This is so true. There is nothing less sexy than trying to get pregnant! I was doing ovulation induction so there were two days a cycle where you had to have sex. Before those days no unprotected sex. I had to lie to my husband about my scans and treatment because of the performance anxiety. The month I got pregnant I told him the treatment didn't work so when I told him I was pregnant he was really surprised!

Kylith, there is no right or wrong decision I think. I think the worst thing about making the decision to start trying is you don't know how long it will take. When we started I had just moved jobs so I wanted to wait 3 months after I started before I got pregnant assuming it would happen straight away. In the end it told a year and a half after finding out I had PCOS. At my lowest times during that year and a half I was so angry at myself for the time I lost because I wanted to change jobs etc. But hindsight is 20/20.

It's a leap of faith really whatever you chose to do.

kylith

kylith wrote: »

Thanks for all the comments, folks. Ye've given me food for thought and even though I'm going to do what I want anyway (:P) it's good to consider it from different sides.

pwurple, we have been discussing marriage and though he's not sold on the idea he does seem to be coming round to it as something that would be easier than trying to sort out all familial rights separately. And the tax.

I'm about as far from a bridezilla as you can get, and the thought of spending money I don't have on trying to organise a big ceremony I don't want gives me palpatations so, thinking about it, all the stress would be in telling people trying to push me into a big wedding to insert their opinions where the sun doesn't shine. A licence and a nice meal out, with a session back at the house, would do me nicely.

Whatever you decide, and however you sort it, best wishes and nothing but happiness for you and himself, Kylith. Good luck with everything.

7 Seconds...

If you are both on the page and want the same things in your relationship then I think ye should do what ye want. I worry too much about other people think and I recently throw away what could have been my best relationship ever all because I thought I wasn't good enough for him and that he could do a lot better than me, I been listening to the wrong people all my life. I am also a single parent as I have a child from a previous relationship, it is a very lonely road and I won't kid you it is also very hard, but is worth it and I am really thankful I have him!

Best of luck and I hope you make the right decision for you both and not the right decision for everyone else.:)

Madam Oblong

rainbow kirby wrote: »

Wouldn't necessarily agree with that! There are a hell of a lot of couples in that age group that conceive quickly and that have unplanned pregnancies because the decline in fertility by mid-30s is a bit overstated generally.

I'm 33 and 13 weeks at the moment, it's never taken us more than 2 cycles.

That's great, but it took us almost a year at 30. All I'm saying is don't assume, because you don't know until you're actually trying!

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable".

kylith

Wow. Six months since I started this thread. and so little has happened in the intervening time, until now. My period's a week late. I did a test last night and another this afternoon. I'm slightly pregnant

Himself has been warned about counting any chickens, and I'm going to do my best to ignore it for the next 10 weeks (barring giving up the booze, odd fag, and parcour) because a lot can happen, or stop happening, between now and then.

Just one question: if I want twins, is being 2 weeks gone too late to start jumping up and down to split the embryo in two? :P

neonsofa

I was hoping your thread was bumped for this reason
Afaik, they advise taking the test first thing in morning before breakfast, but regardless of when you do It, if there is even a slight line then you have your answer!
You're being very pragmatic about it all so I don't want to jump in with celebrations if you're not there yet! How are you feeling about It?

Knine

Ah that is Brilliant News. Congrats.

kylith

neonsofa wrote: »

I was hoping your thread was bumped for this reason
Afaik, they advise taking the test first thing in morning before breakfast, but regardless of when you do It, if there is even a slight line then you have your answer!
You're being very pragmatic about it all so I don't want to jump in with celebrations if you're not there yet! How are you feeling about It?

I had a very faint line from an evening test, and then I went and got a digital one the next day so there'd be no ambiguity and it came up "Pregnant 1-2[weeks]", and that's that.

I'm not feeling much about it one way or the other, TBH. I'm certainly not overwhelmed with feelings or dread, so that's a good sign. I wouldn't say I'm overjoyed either. Perhaps it hasn't sunk in yet. Perhaps the fact that we were taking an 'if it happens, it happens' attitude rather than actively trying to get pregnant means that I wasn't giddy when the test was positive. Maybe it's just me not wanting to get my hope up too much in case it miscarries in a couple of weeks.

angeldelight

Congrats it was our 19th cycle of trying when we got our positive test. I still stood in the kitchen bawling for half an hour thinking “wtf have we done” despite wanting nothing else for the preceding year! Our daughter is coming up on three now and it still feels terrifying that we’re responsible for her safety and turning her into a decent human being

neonsofa

kylith wrote: »

I'm not feeling much about it one way or the other, TBH.... Maybe it's just me not wanting to get my hope up too much in case it miscarries in a couple of weeks.

In my case it was unplanned but I felt the same as you too in the early days. Once the initial shock passed, I was kind of... "distant" isn't the right word but it kind of explains it, kind of like I couldn't really attribute any feelings until things started properly happening- bump growing, scans, buying clothes etc. For me it was like it wasn't actually going to be real,it was all a bit abstract.
And like you, the risk of miscarriage in the early days played a part I think, didnt feel like it was all really happening for me until I got past the 12 weeks mark I think. Although i certainly had physical symptoms long before then!

I really wish you and your partner so much happiness, look after yourself!

rainbow kirby

Woohoo, congratulations!

It definitely takes a while to sink in - even when it's as planned as can be! There's a real "what have we done?" sense! I booked an early scan both times (8-9 weeks, private) and that did help with getting my head around things.

Neyite

Yeah, the first while is surreal all right. And moreso when you've researched the statistics and risks and all that. It tends to be all that's in your head in the first few weeks.


Congratulations to you both

kylith

Thanks for all the well wishes folks! Still not doing cartwheels, but every time I have a wee and there’s no tinge of pink on the paper I feel happy.

Today I have spent the time since lunch feeling like i’m going to puke. Could be the start of morning sickness, could be psychosomatic, could be a dodgy prawn.

Sleepy

Congrats kylith!

LynnGrace

Congrats and wishing you all the best!

m'lady

Congratulations! I just read the whole post and like others I hoped it was bumped for this reason! I hope everything works out fantastic for you 😉