Treat people with Social Anxiety

KJohnson7780

I'm looking for advice on how to get past/over the responses i get from other people eg eye rolls, gossiped about, laughed at, basically been treated with contempt.

All because i suffer from Social anxiety. It can be very obvious most of the time that i am suffering from SA stutter, freeze etc

I don't have any friends but some people i have talked to say i'm very nice (too nice i think). I'm certainly not an assertive person.

Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night & can see these people laughing at me & the look on there faces etc like.

I just don't understand why some people can be like that & it hurts.

Johngoose

KJohnson7780 wrote: »

I'm looking for advice on how to get past/over the responses i get from other people eg eye rolls, gossiped about, laughed at, basically been treated with contempt.

All because i suffer from Social anxiety. It can be very obvious most of the time that i am suffering from SA stutter, freeze etc

I don't have any friends but some people i have talked to say i'm very nice (too nice i think). I'm certainly not an assertive person.

Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night & can see these people laughing at me & the look on there faces etc like.

I just don't understand why some people can be like that & it hurts.

Irish people are very quick to pass remarks/ offend. They could be as ugly as fcuk themselves and comment on somebody else's appearance. I find Irish people to be very judgemental and offensive.

cazzer22

Just remember that people don't care about us as much as we think they do. It took me a while to realise this.
If you take every look or laugh personally, life is going to be very difficult. Just allow people to laugh, roll their eyes or whatever else it is that they do, shut down the thought process ('it's not about me.') and smile. I find it's the thought process in between that really gets me anxious. For example: I used to get anxious walking past a bus full of people, worrying they would judge me or pass comment. I used to try and control the thought process or distract myself as it was happening. Mindfulness can really help. Focusing on the traffic, things around you, smells, birds, anything.
Do you have evidence that being 'gossiped about or laughed at' is actually about you? Are you just assuming it's about you? My advice would be to fill your mind with statements, writing them down really helped me of things that you can say to yourself at that moment to shut down the negative thoughts. It's a tough kind of anxiety to live with. I'm there with you.
Are there particular situations that make you believe you're being laughed at or gossiped about?

0byme75341jo28

It could also be possible that your social anxiety is causing you to see problems when there is none. Could you be taking offense to an eye roll/a smirk when it's actually something unrelated to your stutter/freeze? That can be an issue for people with social anxiety, understandably.

zoobizoo

Not meaning to belittle what you're saying but when I had social anxiety, everyone appeared to be doing that type of thing. I'd read the negative into every interaction with people I didn't know.


Get a copy of The Feeling Good Handbook for practical advice on the matter.


that's not to say it doesn't happen - one friend of a friend made reference to it in front of a bunch of people which made my red face even redder... he was a bit of a prick anyway.

But overall, people are nice and not out to point out our faults.

chicorytip

Oaklynn Wet Vaccination wrote:

It could also be possible that your social anxiety is causing you to see problems when there is none. Could you be taking offense to an eye roll/a smirk when it's actually something unrelated to your stutter/freeze? That can be an issue for people with social anxiety, understandably.

Social anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder are both forms of Schizophrenia so sufferers should never be dismissed as simply being overly sensitive individuals.

0byme75341jo28

chicorytip wrote: »

Oaklynn Wet Vaccination wrote:

It could also be possible that your social anxiety is causing you to see problems when there is none. Could you be taking offense to an eye roll/a smirk when it's actually something unrelated to your stutter/freeze? That can be an issue for people with social anxiety, understandably.

Social anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder are both forms of Schizophrenia so sufferers should never be dismissed as simply being overly sensitive individuals.

Eh... What? Have you a source?

roro1990

chicorytip wrote: »

Social anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder are both forms of Schizophrenia so sufferers should never be dismissed as simply being overly sensitive individuals.

That is patently misinformation. Schizophrenic outpatients often show symptoms of social anxiety (social isolation, withdrawal) but that doesn't mean SA is a form of schizophrenia. AVPD patients have Cluster C personality disorders, marked by anxiety, dependence, or obsessive-compulsive behaviour.

askU

chicorytip wrote: »

Social anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder are both forms of Schizophrenia.

WRONG

begbysback

I would recommend Susan cains book Quiet

IMO social anxiety is primarily caused by the pressure to be outgoing - if u are an introvert then save yourself thousands in therapy and just learn to be introvert and content with it..

Also she has a good TedTalk on the topic

Starkystark

Hi OP,

I was like that back in my teens - don't know what age you are, doesn't really matter but I got CBT and it honestly was the best investment of my life. You really need to stick with it and work with it. I know it can be costly but there are some affordable options out there.

chicorytip

begbysback wrote:

IMO social anxiety is primarily caused by the pressure to be outgoing - if u are an introvert then save yourself thousands in therapy and just learn to be introvert and content with it..

This is nonsense. It is caused by trauma or unhappiness experienced during childhood and/or inherited personality traits.

chicorytip

Oaklynn Wet Vaccination wrote:

Eh... What? Have you a source?

Sure. Ask any consultant psychiatrist.

begbysback

chicorytip wrote: »

This is nonsense. It is caused by trauma or unhappiness experienced during childhood and/or inherited personality traits.

Rubbish - your saying ever person with social anxiety has a root cause of traumatic childhood?

Esel

begbysback wrote: »

Rubbish - your saying ever person with social anxiety has a root cause of traumatic childhood?

Read the post again...

chicorytip wrote: »

This is nonsense. It is caused by trauma or unhappiness experienced during childhood and/or inherited personality traits.

begbysback

Esel wrote: »

Read the post again...

Yes, I read the post and left that out - why? Because every personality trait is considered to be inherited, it seems the second condition may have been conveniently thrown in to make the entire statement appear always true - Therefore my question stands...

Sometimes it may be best to let the intended person answer the question when the context is not fully understood.

chicorytip

begbysback wrote:

Rubbish - your saying ever person with social anxiety has a root cause of traumatic childhood?

Social Anxiety is a disabling mental illness. Mental illness develops over a prolonged period of sufferers lives. It's not like catching influenza. You just don't wake up one morning suffering from it. Our early childhood and adolescence are, naturally, the formative periods of our lives. Any trauma or unhappiness experienced during this stage of our development - say, for example, the death of a parent or a dysfunctional home environment caused by the abuse of alcohol - is bound to impact negatively on the formation of one's personality and mentality. Adult sufferers of Social Anxiety will all have been, as children, anxious, introverted and withdrawn. The root causes of this, I believe, are twofold, as outlined in my previous post.