Gift for cousins wedding we are not attending.

John_Rambo

I'm a bit out of the loop.

We're not attending the wedding of a cousin of my wife's. She doesn't really know him. I'm thinking a €100 voucher for a very good restaurant in their area. (one Michelin *). Should get them the bones of a dinner, they'd only have to stump up another few quid for vino and a cheeseboard.

Suitable? Thanks in advance.

JayRoc

John_Rambo wrote: »

I'm a bit out of the loop.

We're not attending the wedding of a cousin of my wife's. She doesn't really know him. I'm thinking a €100 voucher for a very good restaurant in their area. (one Michelin *). Should get them the bones of a dinner, they'd only have to stump up another few quid for vino and a cheeseboard.

Suitable? Thanks in advance.

You're not attending. A gift is not necessary.

missmatty

I got married recently and to be honest I think that's a bit too generous? Especially if you or your wife don't really know the cousin. I had several cousins I know quite well who couldn't come to my wedding and most of them sent a card with maybe 50 euro which I thought was completely acceptable.

Addle

Buying someone a voucher knowing that they'll have to add to it is not a gift.

Just give them €50 along with your rsvp.

John_Rambo

missmatty wrote: »

I got married recently and to be honest I think that's a bit too generous? Especially if you or your wife don't really know the cousin. I had several cousins I know quite well who couldn't come to my wedding and most of them sent a card with maybe 50 euro which I thought was completely acceptable.

OK, might downgrade the voucher to a €50 one for a good restaurant or maybe a really good bottle of port, delivered. Is cash a bit crass for someone not attending? €50 cash could just dissolve in to the Tesco shopping! I'd like them to enjoy something nice that they wouldn't normally buy.

(it's not often I buy €50 bottles of port or gin, but I like them as gifts)

Addle

JayRoc wrote: »

You're not attending. A gift is not necessary.

I disagree. Personally, my wedding gift is always based on the occasion and my relationship with the couple, not whether I'm attending a function or not.

Toots

The bottle of port is a nice idea, but you'd want to make sure they actually like port That being said, I think it's most likely something that they wouldn't normally buy and if they've never drank port before, the best way to get started is with a really good bottle!

RoisinClare6

I went to the afters of a wedding last year, my boyfriend's cousin whom he knew but wouldn't really see or have a relationship with. We were a tad but under pressure for money and felt a bit weird about 20 in a card. Went to a nice place up the road and got a really nice wedding frame with loads of different sections and funny captions for all the different people in the wedding party! It was small but a nice keepsake

John_Rambo

Toots wrote: »

The bottle of port is a nice idea, but you'd want to make sure they actually like port That being said, I think it's most likely something that they wouldn't normally buy and if they've never drank port before, the best way to get started is with a really good bottle!

Yeah, you're right, but nobody likes port until they have a really good glass with Manchego cheese and good chutney!!

I'm thinking this.

http://www.thecorkscrew.ie/sweet-and-fortified-wine/niepoort-colheita-2000-port.html

I have a bottle, it's stunning, good for special occasions or sharing at a dinner party. It will last too.

JayRoc

Addle wrote: »

I disagree. Personally, my wedding gift is always based on the occasion and my relationship with the couple, not whether I'm attending a function or not.

Fair enough. But the OP said that the person getting married was a cousin of his wife's that she is not close to.

GingerLily

If I received that gift from someone who didn't attend I'd be very pleased, I do like port though

emeldc

Addle wrote: »

Buying someone a voucher knowing that they'll have to add to it is not a gift.

Just give them €50 along with your rsvp.

If giving €50 is better than giving €100 then why not be a complete legend and give them nothing

c6ysaphjvqw41k

This post has been deleted.

cruizer101

Addle wrote: »

Buying someone a voucher knowing that they'll have to add to it is not a gift.

I'd disagree for restaurant vouchers, once the voucher covers the majority of the meal, a meal out isn't a fixed value.

In regards to OP's case I wouldn't be giving anything if you are not going to wedding.

evolving_doors

Act in kind. Did the missus receive any gifts from non attendees from any of the same cousin's family?
If not then don't bother, if so then cough up.
Depends on your own financial circumstances too! If you can afford it then go for it, committing someone you don't really know to a restaurant can be a bit pushy though. Just give the dosh.

Port!!! Hate the stuff

jlm29

I wouldn't buy a bottle of anything unless you know they'd appreciate it. I'd be horrified if someone wasted money buying a gift like that for me or my oh. Although we would appreciate the gesture, We'd have no meas in it, and it would end up gathering dust and eventually either being regifted or put down the drain.

Hrududu

I wouldn't send a voucher that you know they'll have to add to. Your gift will be costing them money to use it. Unless you know for a fact that they are foodies and are looking for an excuse to go to a Michelin starred restaurant. Even at that they'll have to put a good bit of money to the 50 to get a meal and drinks there

John_Rambo

Port or a good restaurant would be appreciated by them. They’d have no problem adding to a voucher.

They’re both cultured, urbane, sophisticated and appreciate nice food, drink and experiences.

Thanks for the suggestions folks. Going with the Port.

Addle

John_Rambo wrote: »

They’re both cultured, urbane, sophisticated and appreciate nice food, drink and experiences.

You do know them well enough so.

John_Rambo

Addle wrote: »

You do know them well enough so.

My wife talked to their parents last night. All sorted.

Toots

My dad got a nice bottle of white port for his birthday recently and the whole family raved about it. It's served chilled with orange zest apparently.

John_Rambo

Toots wrote: »

My dad got a nice bottle of white port for his birthday recently and the whole family raved about it. It's served chilled with orange zest apparently.

Or with tonic and mint. Amazing aperitif.

august12

Toots wrote:

My dad got a nice bottle of white port for his birthday recently and the whole family raved about it. It's served chilled with orange zest apparently.

Do you know the name?

John_Rambo

august12 wrote: »

Do you know the name?

I’m pretty sure it was Royal Oporto. Not expensive at all. I had it in a fish restaurant in Kerry.

Toots

John_Rambo wrote: »

I’m pretty sure it was Royal Oporto. Not expensive at all. I had it in a fish restaurant in Kerry.

I think it was something like that alright. I don't drink so wouldn't be familiar with different brands but I had a sip and it was very pleasant. I just googled there and O'Briens stock it.

100 euro in cash. I wouldn't be bothering with vouchers especially ones where they will have to spend money to actually use it. The cash will be most welcome for helping towards paying for the day.

cactusgal

Liana Proud Standout wrote: »

100 euro in cash. I wouldn't be bothering with vouchers especially ones where they will have to spend money to actually use it. The cash will be most welcome for helping towards paying for the day.

It's not the guests' responsibility to help pay for the day.

Especially when they're not even in attendance (<

---

this part is key).

100 quid is way too much.

John_Rambo

Liana Proud Standout wrote: »

100 euro in cash. I wouldn't be bothering with vouchers especially ones where they will have to spend money to actually use it. The cash will be most welcome for helping towards paying for the day.

No, we've talked to the parents. It's not that type of wedding, it actually sounds similar to my own, same venue too. They'd appreciate something a bit more thoughtful and creative.

Toots

Thanks to this thread I now have a mad craving for cheese and chutney