Wedding fiasco bullshіt

LegacyUser

So in two weeks time my sister is getting married.

I have a nice pair of grey trousers and crisp white shirt and lovely grey jacket and brown shoes and red tie. They all fit perfectly.

Apparently, the colours of the jacket and the trousers don't match exactly so I've been told not to wear them :rollseyes: And apparently buying a suit from Penneys is a no-no for a wedding. It should be bought from a suit shop .....(according to my family). I'm 26 y/o male btw.

Jesus, the wedding is costing the Irish average of 20K+, it feels like I'm going to Victoria Beckham's wedding or getting a Royal Knighthood the way I've been asked to dress. FFS I feel like I'm a soldier in the North Korea army. Why all this stuffiness?

Just be happy you have the person's company and **** off.

jimmycrackcorm

Tell them you'd be happy to wear another suit if they'd be happy to buy or rent one for you.

ahnow

On the other end of things, it's your sisters wedding, she's your family and she's probably not going to be doing it again. A bit of effort would probably be really appreciated, especially because you're family. It's only the one day, and then it's over.
I wouldn't be in to lavish weddings, and dont understand the 20k spending spree stuff either, but at the same time when it's someone close to you getting married it's not appropriate to be wearing a mismatched suit, and I wouldn't be getting my outfit from Penneys, it gives off the impression that you're not really bothered.

GingerLily

That's between your and your family to be fair, if anything weddings are becoming less rigid in their dress code! (My nephews are wearing blazers and cons for example, I think that sounds awesome!l)

baby and crumble

I'll be brutally honest OP, if your jacket and trousers are close but don't match perfectly (ie it isn't a suit) then it'll look crap. You either want an actual contrast (ie navy blazer with grey trousers) or a suit. Anything else will just look lazy. And people WILL notice. Especially in the photos that come down the line in a few months.

I will say though, I get where you're coming from. People make mad demands at weddings, but it's no harm to get yourself a proper suit at this stage of your life. Or at least a contrasting blazer.

Try M&S for a decent suit, or the likes of Burtons (who have a seriously good suit sale on at the moment, as it happens).

Also forget what your family are saying about Penneys. Penneys suits have gotten seriously good recently- get a 3 piece in there for well less than €100, spend another €30 or so to get it adjusted to fit you really well and boom, you're sorted for weddings for the next couple of years (that is if you're not wearing the suit a lot- it won't last as long as a more expensive suit but if you don't already have a suit at 26 then I'm assuming you don't wear them a lot)- and at your age, the invitations will likely start coming thick and fast.

Addle

ahnow wrote: »

A bit of effort would probably be really appreciated

It has been my experience that effort is expected and not at all appreciated.

At least it's just your attire and not your appearance that's the issue OP.
I'm familiar with much higher demands when it comes to weddings!

retro:electro

Just get a suit in Penneys or wherever and tell them it's rented. How will they ever know? All suits look the same to me I wouldn't have a monkeys what is what just by looking at them.

Toots

baby and crumble wrote: »

I'll be brutally honest OP, if your jacket and trousers are close but don't match perfectly (ie it isn't a suit) then it'll look crap. You either want an actual contrast (ie navy blazer with grey trousers) or a suit. Anything else will just look lazy. And people WILL notice. Especially in the photos that come down the line in a few months.

I will say though, I get where you're coming from. People make mad demands at weddings, but it's no harm to get yourself a proper suit at this stage of your life. Or at least a contrasting blazer.

Try M&S for a decent suit, or the likes of Burtons (who have a seriously good suit sale on at the moment, as it happens).

Also forget what your family are saying about Penneys. Penneys suits have gotten seriously good recently- get a 3 piece in there for well less than €100, spend another €30 or so to get it adjusted to fit you really well and boom, you're sorted for weddings for the next couple of years (that is if you're not wearing the suit a lot- it won't last as long as a more expensive suit but if you don't already have a suit at 26 then I'm assuming you don't wear them a lot)- and at your age, the invitations will likely start coming thick and fast.

100% agree. It didn't look good. If it's your sister getting married, you're most likely going to be in a lot of photos. My husband was in a similar situation and had the outfit planned - charcoal coloured trousers and a jacket that he thought was the same shade - but when he tried it on the day before...... they were slightly different colours, and it was really noticeable.

We legged it down to penneys and he got a lovely suit, it actually fit him better than a more expensive one that he had bought previously. He got plenty of compliments on it at the wedding, and he's gotten good wear out of it since - a couple more weddings, a christening and a couple of job interviews.

You've already got the shirt and the tie so at least you're part of the way there. Next also do nice suits and if they have a sale on you can get good bargains there. H&M have some nice stuff, too. If your family are being pernickety about it coming from penneys, then when you're out buying the suit, buy a suit bag from argos or the likes, and stick the suit in there before you get home, they'll be none the wiser.

amtc

You really can't wear two different shades of grey. It will look like what it is, just something cobbled together. Plus brown shoes with grey? Yuck.

It is your sister's wedding. People do go ott but you just have to realise that it's their day, whatever you might think about it.

You're at the age where you should have a go to suit anyway.

baby and crumble

amtc wrote: »

You really can't wear two different shades of grey. It will look like what it is, just something cobbled together. Plus brown shoes with grey? Yuck.

I disagree. Brown shoes look great with grey trousers.

http://www.primermagazine.com/2010/spend/your-gray-suits-new-brown-shoes

retro:electro

I agree grey suit and brown shoes can look great and very handsome. Op the whole outfit looks like it could look great but if the two shades of grey are off it'll just look mismatched and wrong! Check out River Island, Penneys and H&M. They do great suits that you'll have for years. You're 26 now so time to be getting a nice suit that'll do you for future weddings. You don't need to spend an arm and a leg. Your family don't need to know where you bought it. Just let them know you've it sorted.

Bambi985

There's a lot of bullsh1ttery surrounding family weddings, I'd consider this a relatively tame request to that end OP.

Use it as an excuse to buy yourself a well-tailored suit that you can have for these kinds of occasions, it'll stand you well ultimately.

GingerLily

It's a good opportunity to buy yourself a suit, everyone needs a piece of formal wear in their wardrobe.
I always recommend buying two pairs of trousers with every suit jacket as you'll wash/wear the trousers twice as much and they're a lot cheaper then the jacket - so up get a lot more wear out of it all in all!

freshpopcorn

I got talked into buying a good suit a few years ago. I despise it and it's never worn unless absolutely necessary. It did look nice in the shop at the time and still looks nice.
I say just get a suit that they'll be happy with and put it on for the day and throw it in the wardrobe!

santana75

baby and crumble wrote: »

Anything else will just look lazy. And people WILL notice. Especially in the photos that come down the line in a few months.

Like the OP said, the important thing is that he's going to be there, anything else is irrelevant, especially whether or not a poxy suit doesnt match this or that. Honestly some folks just get caught up in things that are vain and petty and miss the big important picture.

Ursus Horribilis

Try being a woman, then you'd know all about wedding bullshît. The scales are really tipped against us. All a man has to do is pull a suit out of his wardrobe and he's sorted.

I'm not familiar with the suits in Penneys so I can't comment on how good or bad they are. Maybe a Penneys suit will look fine on you on the day but it's unlikely to last you for many more formal events. So maybe it's time to get a better suit and have it in your wardrobe. You're getting to the age where weddings, family christenings and funerals are going to become a part of your life. Regardless of where you buy the suit, make sure it fits you properly and doesn't look like it was thrown at you.

freshpopcorn

santana75 wrote: »

Like the OP said, the important thing is that he's going to be there, anything else is irrelevant, especially whether or not a poxy suit doesnt match this or that. Honestly some folks just get caught up in things that are vain and petty and miss the big important picture.

People get really worked up over weddings and how the photos will look. The OP is lucky it isn't a black tie weddings!

MissShihTzu

I have to agree with Ursus. I shudder whenever I hear black tie weddings mentioned. Very few of them are done properly, and in any case I think it's ridiculous to have people dressed in full evening dress for a daytime event.

Why don't you rent a nice suit? Doesn't cost much and at least it won't be hanging around in the wardrobe if you don't wear them much. Think Conor McGregor (OK, he's a tool, but you have to say he's a seriously sharp dresser). Black is traditional for weddings, nice white shirt which you already have and you can go a bit mad with the tie - even have a dicky bow if you like. I think they look cool with the right clothes. Navy and charcoal are also nice and will go well with the brown shoes. Make sure they're lace-ups though! Slip-ons look awful for formal occasions.

Hope it works for you.

freshpopcorn

MissShihTzu wrote: »

I have to agree with Ursus. I shudder whenever I hear black tie weddings mentioned. Very few of them are done properly, and in any case I think it's ridiculous to have people dressed in full evening dress for a daytime event.

Why don't you rent a nice suit? Doesn't cost much and at least it won't be hanging around in the wardrobe if you don't wear them much. Think Conor McGregor (OK, he's a tool, but you have to say he's a seriously sharp dresser). Black is traditional for weddings, nice white shirt which you already have and you can go a bit mad with the tie - even have a dicky bow if you like. I think they look cool with the right clothes. Navy and charcoal are also nice and will go well with the brown shoes. Make sure they're lace-ups though! Slip-ons look awful for formal occasions.

Hope it works for you.

Not to derail the thread. I was under the impression a reason why people were going for black tie events were to stop people showing up in bluey coloured suits and brown shoes(Conor Mcgregor look)

MissShihTzu

Not always. Some brides like to have a formal dress code. I used to work as a wedding co-ordinator, and that was my experience. But to get back to the point -I think the OP should hire a suit. Saves the aggro, and will look a lot smarter than the original outfit he planned.

baby and crumble

santana75 wrote: »

Like the OP said, the important thing is that he's going to be there, anything else is irrelevant, especially whether or not a poxy suit doesnt match this or that. Honestly some folks just get caught up in things that are vain and petty and miss the big important picture.

Fair enough if that's your opinion. Many people would disagree. There's a time and a place for dressing well. I personally reckon that dressing appropriately is a mark of respect. Look, wearing two types of grey is absolutely not a cardinal sin, and yeah, he'll be here for his sister and happy days. But like it or not a mismatched "suit" looks like crap. People will notice it. His sister will remember it. Is is worth the aggro over something that will likely be brought up if/when HE decides to get married?

freshpopcorn

baby and crumble wrote: »

Fair enough if that's your opinion. Many people would disagree. There's a time and a place for dressing well. I personally reckon that dressing appropriately is a mark of respect. Look, wearing two types of grey is absolutely not a cardinal sin, and yeah, he'll be here for his sister and happy days. But like it or not a mismatched "suit" looks like crap. People will notice it. His sister will remember it. Is is worth the aggro over something that will likely be brought up if/when HE decides to get married?

If that all she remembers about her wedding, she's be a fairly sad individual.
Look OP. Rent/But a suit that will make her happy and remember. You don't have to get lots of photos taken if you don't feel comfortable.
If you do get married yourself OP. You might choose decide what's suitable to wear for your family.

MissShihTzu

All the politics aside - I would think the OP will want to look sharp whatever the occasion!

ted1

What's your employment situation like? At your age you should have a good suit to wear fir job interviews and the like, if you get one now you'll find that you'll wear it a good few times

ted1

MissShihTzu wrote: »

I have to agree with Ursus. I shudder whenever I hear black tie weddings mentioned. Very few of them are done properly, and in any case I think it's ridiculous to have people dressed in full evening dress for a daytime event.

Full evening dress is a white bow tie with tails.
Black tie with a short jacket a.k.a tuxedo is less formal

freshpopcorn

MissShihTzu wrote: »

All the politics aside - I would think the OP will want to look sharp whatever the occasion!

I have a feeling he thinks he looks sharp in what he has!

ted1 wrote: »

What's your employment situation like? At your age you should have a good suit to wear fir job interviews and the like, if you get one now you'll find that you'll wear it a good few times

I was in a similar position to the OP and was talked into buying a good one. It their if I need it but I never do. I haven't wore it in years. I have it tough so I would consider buying one.
If you do decide to buy a suit jest remember that if you wan't the suit for more formal/business events don't pick out anything to shiny/flashy.

Honestly if I was in your position and knew my sister would be flappy I'd bring her to a suit hire shop and tell her to pick out she wanted/

MissShihTzu

ted1 wrote: »

Full evening dress is a white bow tie with tails.
Black tie with a short jacket a.k.a tuxedo is less formal

Actually, both are considered evening dress. Most formal occasions are black tie and are more usual. Things like ceremonial dinners (State Banquets, etc) are usually white tie.

Neyite

Nobody mentioned a kilt yet?

Get a suit for it - it's not just for the wedding. It's an investment and you have it there for funerals, interviews and other times when you might need to get one but the last thing you want to do is shop for one. It's like a warm coat or other staple wardrobe basics that are good to have.

whoopsadoodles

ahnow wrote: »

it's your sisters wedding, she's your family and she's probably not going to be doing it again.

I'm going to my sis's 2nd wedding soon

Ursus Horribilis

Neyite wrote: »

Nobody mentioned a kilt yet?

Funny you should mention that. I was at a Scottish wedding recently and I thought the kilts were lovely and smart

I thought I'd go back to your original post and make an observation. You're coming across in your post as a teenager who's stamping his feet and throwing a strop. If that's your attitude towards this wedding in real life, it's going to stress your sister out no end. Even if your sister isn't one of those Bridezillas we've all heard about, she's going to be going up the walls with the stress of trying to get everything done. The last thing she needs is stroppy brother digging his heels in, rolling his eyes and threatening to turn up in something that might not look right. Whether you like it or not, you're going to be noticed more at this wedding than you normally would be. Wearing that "suit" isn't a good look and it's disrespectful to your sister.

zoobizoo

If every one else is dressed better than you, you'll regret it when you see those photos in a couple of years.

Saw the brother in law of a friend turn up to friend's wedding in a pair of jeans and white cheap runners..... He ruined the photos that he was in.

A mismatched suit looks dreadful. Depending on the tone of the trousers and the tone of the shoes, it could be a bad combo.

How do you normally dress?

Over the next few years you'll be going to a fair few weddings and as a man, you need a suit.

newdriverlad

If it was my wedding. I would have problem with you turning up in two different shades of grey. It's not tough.
Just go along with them and get the suit. Either rent it or buy one.
You'll know yourself if you'll need it in the future. If you feel you won't wear it again just rent it.

If your sister is fussing over this she just one of these brides and she'll be like this over everything. Give her one less thing to whinge over.
When you get married you can wear what ever you want and have suggestions for your family.

retro:electro

newdriverlad wrote: »

If it was my wedding. I would have problem with you turning up in two different shades of grey. It's not tough.
Just go along with them and get the suit. Either rent it or buy one.
You'll know yourself if you'll need it in the future. If you feel you won't wear it again just rent it.

If your sister is fussing over this she just one of these brides and she'll be like this over everything. Give her one less thing to whinge over.
When you get married you can wear what ever you want and have suggestions for your family.

I don't think it's fair to label the sister as "one of those brides" just because she wants the brother to have a matching suit! We haven't seen the two piece it could literally be dreadful and totally unmatched. Sometimes lads need a kick up the behind my brother is the same! The only stubborn one here to me is the op. Just get a bloody matching suit ffs

andekwarhola

You won't get a better formal suit for the money than Marks and Spencer at the bargain end of the spectrum.

As said already, in a sense, it's a bit of a useless formality but for a quiet life, just get a suit. It's not going to kill you.

Plus somebody your age should really have a half-decent, all-occasions suit anyway.

newdriverlad

anna080 wrote: »

I don't think it's fair to label the sister as "one of those brides" just because she wants the brother to have a matching suit! We haven't seen the two piece it could literally be dreadful and totally unmatched. Sometimes lads need a kick up the behind my brother is the same! The only stubborn one here to me is the op. Just get a bloody matching suit ffs

Sorry, we're never going to agree on this matter. I'd be suggesting the sister should get a kick up the behind. I've heard people similar to the OP's sister in the past and they've always being nightmares.
You just give them their own way and things are grand.
They'll look back on the photos and find something wrong with with Uncle Joe or Auntie Jean is wearing!

retro:electro

newdriverlad wrote: »

Sorry, we're never going to agree on this matter. I'd be suggesting the sister should get a kick up the behind. I've heard people similar to the OP's sister in the past and they've always being nightmares.
You just give them their own way and things are grand.
They'll look back on the photos and find something wrong with with Uncle Joe or Auntie Jean is wearing!

I'd disagree. I'm the most laid back person ever but when it comes to brothers and sisters I'm brutally honest and if I think something looks dreadful I'll tell them. The only thing I'd object to is her demanding the suit not be from Penneys but if she wants his suit to match I think the op should just suck it up and buy the bloody suit.

judeboy101

Red tie and brown shoes, are you feckin mad?

freshpopcorn

anna080 wrote: »

I'd disagree. I'm the most laid back person ever but when it comes to brothers and sisters I'm brutally honest and if I think something looks dreadful I'll tell them. The only thing I'd object to is her demanding the suit not be from Penneys but if she wants his suit to match I think the op should just suck it up and buy the bloody suit.

To me the fact that a Penneys suit won't do really show what kind of a person the OP's sister is. She wants everything perfect. That's fine.
This is why I think it's important that the OP brings his sister to pick out the suit.

meeeeh

You are probably better off getting a suit. Not because of your sister but because other people notice that kind of stuff and people who don't know you well will judge you a lot more harshly. That being said River Island, Zara or H&M is not an investment suit. They are not made to last and their tailoring or color goes out of fashion very quickly. I'd go either for something funky and bin it after a year or two or something less adventurous and keep it for longer (M&S ).

Ursus Horribilis

freshpopcorn wrote: »

To me the fact that a Penneys suit won't do really show what kind of a person the OP's sister is. She wants everything perfect. That's fine.
This is why I think it's important that the OP brings his sister to pick out the suit.

Maybe, maybe not. As I said earlier, I'm not familiar with suits from Penneys. But going by the other clothes they sell, it's in the lap of the gods what you get. The suit could be the bargain of the century and look really great. Or it could be made from the sort of material that makes you look like you've slept in the suit once you've worn it for an hour.

freshpopcorn

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Maybe, maybe not. As I said earlier, I'm not familiar with suits from Penneys. But going by the other clothes they sell, it's in the lap of the gods what you get. The suit could be the bargain of the century and look really great. Or it could be made from the sort of material that makes you look like you've slept in the suit once you've worn it for an hour.

It's just one of these thing we're not going to agree on.
I do think if the OP does decide to get a suit and go to the wedding that the sister should know what it looks like.

Toots

Penneys suits didn't used to be great, but in the last few years the quality and cut has improved a lot and they look really well. If your sister is picturing the older versions (which looked a bit cheap in fairness) that may be why she doesn't want you to get one there.

KERSPLAT!

anna080 wrote: »

I'd disagree. I'm the most laid back person ever but when it comes to brothers and sisters I'm brutally honest and if I think something looks dreadful I'll tell them. The only thing I'd object to is her demanding the suit not be from Penneys but if she wants his suit to match I think the op should just suck it up and buy the bloody suit.

You're obviously not.

OP, if the suit doesn't match to your liking, just go with a shirt, tie and pants. If your sister wants a full 2/3 piece suit, she can but it.

retro:electro

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

You're obviously not.

OP, if the suit doesn't match to your liking, just go with a shirt, tie and pants. If your sister wants a full 2/3 piece suit, she can but it.

? When someone asks for my opinion I'll tell them it honestly. I fail to see how that disqualifies me from being laid back, but hey ho.
The op is 26 years old. Having his sister buy him his suit is pathetic. He's a big boy.

KERSPLAT!

If you were so laid back you wouldn't care, it seems you do. Being brutally honest doesn't mean laid back.

Wear what you want OP, if your sister has issues she can fork out for it.

retro:electro

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

If you were so laid back you wouldn't care, it seems you do. Being brutally honest doesn't mean laid back.

Wear what you want OP, if your sister has issues she can fork out for it.

What are you even going on about.
Aaaaanyway.

SimpleDimples

At 26, your sister shouldn't have to tell you how to dress properly. Everyone should have at least one good suit..covers weddings, funerals, interviews, court appearances etc.

freshpopcorn

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

If you were so laid back you wouldn't care, it seems you do. Being brutally honest doesn't mean laid back.

Wear what you want OP, if your sister has issues she can fork out for it.

I read your first post again OP. I noticed your family said the suit most come from a suit shop and Penneys wasn't good enough. Be very careful with all high street shops if that's the case.

leggo

Even if you don't care about looking bad or cheap (and a mismatched suit would look both), it comes across as really disrespectful. I remember seeing a bloke I vaguely know tagged in wedding photos in casual clothes and I just thought "what a knob, he's ruining that picture for them just so he doesn't have to go to any effort."

This is all a part of growing up OP. You don't have to be done up to the nines in the latest trends if it's not your thing, but just get one generic black suit, white shirt, black tie so you have it for all occasions and can blend in. I doubt news of this wedding was sprung on you on short notice so you've had time to prepare, the fact you haven't and are getting hit with expenses now is a learning experience. These days as soon as I get a wedding invite I'll start budgeting.

newdriverlad

Op, make sure you show your sister the suit in time in case she doesn't approve of the one you buy.
I'd just go to a shop and get her to pick one out that she'll like.

Lots of people are being harsh on you here. You want to wear a grey trousers and jacket. You'd swear you wanted to wear jeans and hoodie!

kunst nugget

At 26, you should have a proper, co-ordinated suit and a good suit can last you years. Calling the thread 'Wedding fiasco bull****' because your sister would like you to be at her wedding in matching clothes is a tad melodramatic and has a touch of Kevin the teenager in it.