Friendless

RoisinClare6

I moved counties 2 years ago, so I live about an hour or so away from home. My friends from home haven't made any effort to visit or even keep in touch l since I moved. I never had a lot of friends only really 3. I don't drive but get the bus down to visit family when I can, tried arranging meet ups to no avail, for example agreed to meet one friend he said yeah, we'd meet for an hour but on the day I text him to say I'd be in the pub for 6pm. He said he couldn't meet as he had to help his dad for the night. I headed to the pub anyway and well his dad was there the entire night with no sign of my friend. Another example is one of them broke up with her boyfriend and was calling me for an hour every night for a week or so which was grand she was upset, she said she'd call up the following week, never showed or text until a few days after where she said she'd be up next week and that went on for about a month. I call them to check in every so often but they'll never call me unless somethings wrong. For example one of them has been my friend since we were 6, hadn't seen him since the night I before I moved. Got numerous calls from family members asking me to collect him because he got drunk and ended up at a party where I live and now had no where to go.. I hadn't heard anything from him in the longest time and haven't since that morning I picked him up.

I under stand as you get older you tend to drift apart but I didn't think I'd lose them entirely. I haven't made friends in this new place and it does get a bit lonely. I have my boyfriend and my family and his family but I still need to have friends.

I'm the first person they call if there's trouble or upset but if its me that calling I go unanswered.

I find it tough to meet new people and I'm staring to get a bit lonely. I'm 26 and practically friendless. I hate the thought of cutting them loose altogether but it's not exactly friendship if its one sided is it? I'm just their agony aunt now

Ursus Horribilis

I think you're just going to have to work harder to make friends where you live now. Regardless of what has happened with these other people in your home place, you're now living elsewhere and have no friends there. It's not healthy to be depending on your boyfriend and his family for company. Unfortunately there's no magic formula for making friends other than to put yourself into social situations where you'll meet people. Are there any sports or hobbies you'd like to take up? Local clubs you could join.

via4

These people don't sound very nice and take advantage of your kind nature.
The great news is your life has moved on & you can find new friends in your area.
But you need to join clubs get chatting to people it will take a while but you have new opportunities so all is not lost. It does take a good while to get to know people but if these other friends are treating you like that I wouldn't bother with them tbh

KrustyUCC

I agree with Ursus Horribilus it's best to concentrate on making new friends where you live now as your 'friends' back home are making no effort to keep the friendship alive

When I moved area I found meetup.com to be of great use

There is groups for everything from photography to mountaineering, running to just meeting up in a pub for a night out

Hopefully there is a group nearby or a bus ride away for a hobby that you may have or will want to take up

RoisinClare6

Quick update, I've joined a book club. First meeting is not until mid august but looking forward to it. Also went on a night out with my boyfriend and his work friends last week, so I met a couple of the girlfriends when we were out and have agreed to meet up again in a couple of weeks.

Thanks for your input guys!

via4

I'm so glad to hear that:) im in a book club it's amazing to be around people who you wouldn't normally socialise with like older people the people that go to book clubs are lovely. Also well done on the night out & meeting people keep getting out & about that is key.

Teyla Emmagan

A book club a good start, but you should be exploring a few other options at the same time. Have you a sport of any sort? Could you join a local club? Could you take something up? Join a gym? Do something crafty? Learn a language? There should be lots of cheap night classes starting up locally in Sept. And do look at meetup because at least that will be full of people actively looking to expand their social circle i.e. people like you.

Also, learn to drive. It opens up endless possibilities and will make you feel more confident in general.