I'm gay and just found out my brother is to should I tell him I know

Rockyh101

So I'm 29 and my brother is 23 and he has a girlfriend but he is on grinder he got talking to my best friend and sent him pictures its definitely him . my friend didn't send pictures back so he has no idea that we no . I don't no what to do . do I tell him I know or let him come to me in his own time the only problem I have is that he has a girlfriend and he is cheating on her any suggestions ? Also he has identified as straight up until now .

AllForIt

Rockyh101 wrote: »

So I'm 29 and my brother is 23 and he has a girlfriend but he is on grinder he got talking to my best friend and sent him pictures its definitely him . my friend didn't send pictures back so he has no idea that we no . I don't no what to do . do I tell him I know or let him come to me in his own time the only problem I have is that he has a girlfriend and he is cheating on her any suggestions ? Also he has identified as straight up until now .

no

Professor Moriarty

Rockyh101 wrote: »

So I'm 29 and my brother is 23 and he has a girlfriend but he is on grinder he got talking to my best friend and sent him pictures its definitely him . my friend didn't send pictures back so he has no idea that we no . I don't no what to do . do I tell him I know or let him come to me in his own time the only problem I have is that he has a girlfriend and he is cheating on her any suggestions ? Also he has identified as straight up until now .

None of your business. Gay, Straight, Bi is irrelevant. Your brother is attempting to cheat on his partner for his own good reasons. Stay out of his business. If he wants to come out to you then let him do it in his own time. If he wants to tell you that he's cheating on his partner let him tell you in his own time. This isn't about you.

Rockyh101

Professor Moriarty wrote: »

I don't think its my business I'm just worded about him . maybe I should say that he is going through a bit of a hard time at the minute . he has been out of work for about two months now with depression . may be related ?

Ten of Swords

Rockyh101 wrote: »

So I'm 29 and my brother is 23 and he has a girlfriend but he is on grinder he got talking to my best friend and sent him pictures its definitely him . my friend didn't send pictures back so he has no idea that we no . I don't no what to do . do I tell him I know or let him come to me in his own time the only problem I have is that he has a girlfriend and he is cheating on her any suggestions ? Also he has identified as straight up until now .

So your friend is on Grindr but doesn't send pics?

Make new friends op.







Also stay out of your brothers business

Rockyh101

Ten of Swords wrote: »

my friend is not out and he sends pics but when he got sent pics from my brother didn't send any back

JJayoo

Oh ya your "friend" is chatting to him on grinder.....OP stop sexting your brother

Rockyh101

JJayoo wrote: »

well thats rotten

Professor Moriarty

Rockyh101 wrote: »

Professor Moriarty wrote: »

I don't think its my business I'm just worded about him . maybe I should say that he is going through a bit of a hard time at the minute . he has been out of work for about two months now with depression . may be related ?

Very possible. He may be struggling to come out to himself, to admit to himself that he is gay (or Bi) or he could just be experimenting. Best thing you could do is to be there for him and let him work through this himself. No leading or loaded questions, just meet up for coffee/drink and chat away. He'll open up when he's ready. Just make sure that he is getting the proper help he needs for his depression.

Rockyh101

Ye we are trying

wakka12

Your brother will not appreciate this. Stay out of it until he feels comfortable telling people. He might not be gay he could be bi, also. The cheating is an issue but I guess thats something they need to work out as a couple, I feel there will be a case of shooting the messenger if you intervene

And if he is gay and going through such lengths to hide it by having a girlfriend then he most certainly woudlnt be comfortable with you knowing

robyntmorton

If in doubt, remember rule 1:

You do not out anyone to anybody, ever.

This includes outing your brother to himself.

As much as you may want to talk to him about it, until he comes to you and brings it up, treat it as being absolutely off limits.

Avatar MIA

This really depends on your relationship with your brother, but if you're asking the internet if it's okay to talk to your brother, it probably isn't in the place it needs to be to talk about this.

Mr.Frame

I agree with many of the comments above, say nothing and stay out of it.

How do you know he's cheating? He could for all you know be on grindr for the "thrill" its anyones guess.
It is interesting though that you said he is suffering with depression, yes it could be relevant , perhaps he is struggling with his sexuality in a big way.

For the moment I way just advise that you be there for him and if he does happen to come out, love him even more.

Rockyh101

We get on very well as it is and if he is gay or bi that will only make us closer I my mind . I'm just worded about him I remember how I felt when I wanted to come out and it wasn't nice just don't want him to be going through the same thing but I guess thats out of my hand .

Rockyh101

We have a good relationship we talk about everything or most things any way I feel like no matter what I do it will be the wrong thing . I just want to be there for him

Mr.Frame

Rockyh101 wrote: »

We get on very well as it is and if he is gay or bi that will only make us closer I my mind . I'm just worded about him I remember how I felt when I wanted to come out and it wasn't nice just don't want him to be going through the same thing but I guess thats out of my hand .

That's lovely of you.

Perhaps if you get a chance some day/night to have a chat about anything and everything and tell him you want him to get well that you love him.
Tell him you are there for him no matter what and if he needs to talk to you about anything you will always be there for him.

Best of luck, you sound like a great brother btw.

Heebie

If he knows you're gay, and that you don't have a problem with gay/bi/questioning guys, he'll tell you when he's ready.