What do you think of 'substitute friends'?

FaceTurnedAway

As long as you've plenty of money as well as variety in your life, and that you're constantly achieving and developing as a person - then is it okay to have substitute friends? Assuming that substitute friends are easy to keep around, or that you could have a constant stream of them. But as long as you've got someone (or something) to fill that void, isn't that enough?

Thankfully for me, a lot of stuff as come together in my live lately. But there seems to be a difference between me and others I've known growing up - which is, that after a decade or more passes, the people who seem to have remained their best friends are the ones that they either went to high school or played sports with. This is not the case for me. But one thing I've noticed about myself, is that when I travel and meet folks in hostels, my social status seems to be higher, in comparison to acquaintants back home.

On the other hand, in movies and TV shows, it's often as if each character doesn't have any family! Particularly in the likes of the CSIs and the Law & Orders. It's like they're all orphans or something! I'd often be watching these shows, and think "wow, they've none of those bullsh1t obligatory family occasions!" In the movies, you could get some fella asking a semi stranger being asked to be his best man!

I guess you can tell a lot about a person based on how far back they go with they're friends, and I guess ultimately this might be something that'll be highlighted at future obligatory family occasions. Perhaps I'd also like to be able to give the illusion to my friends that "oh by the way, I've got other friends too that I'm closer to" as would be the impression I get from them.

But who knows, maybe day some I'll get married, and I'll be a case of "you guys are the only friends I have"! I can picture my wedding being so awkward! If it were to happen, I'd love to just fcuk off and do it quietly somewhere! But what normal minded woman would be okay with that?!

As a side note, I think permanent friends are something that's more important to women. As in, if a guy were to move to a different city, he wouldn't start calling up his friend from back home twice a week talking about his feelings.

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Jack the Stripper

Tldr you like cake op?

I still have the same question before and after reading that; what's a substitute friend?

FaceTurnedAway

Deleted User wrote: »

I still have the same question before and after reading that; what's a substitute friend?

it's when the ball you kick is coming back off the wall u kicked it at, as opposed to from the person you kicked it to!

paleoperson

I thought what he meant was when the first choice friends aren't available, giving the lower-tier "reserve" team friends a call.

Jack the Stripper

Football friend.

Your Face

Jaysus.

gramar

I got as far as this and gave up...

'when I travel and meet folks in hostels, is that my social status seems to go up, in comparison to acquaintants back home'

darkdubh

Are friends electric?

gramar

gramar wrote: »

I got as far as this and gave up...

'when I travel and meet folks in hostels, is that my social status seems to go up, in comparison to acquaintants back home'

I don't know what that means either

old_aussie

OP, you've come to the right forum, it's just that the right people aren't here yet to offer up the warm, friendly expert advice that you would expect from After Hours users.

FaceTurnedAway

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't know what that means either

He took it out of context.

tomwaterford

FaceTurnedAway wrote: »

He took it out of context.

WHAT ARE SUBSTITUTE FRIENDS

Gravelly

The OP sounds like it was spoken by Siri in Mandarin into google translate before being posted here.

FaceTurnedAway

tomwaterford wrote: »

WHAT ARE SUBSTITUTE FRIENDS

you're just echoing the words of the poster above! Sheep!

tomwaterford

FaceTurnedAway wrote: »

you're just echoing the words of the poster above! Sheep!

^^I may see where your having difficulty in the friend department

Gravelly

tomwaterford wrote: »

^^I may see where your having difficulty in the friend department

Perhaps this approach works when they are substitute friends?

I genuinely don't know what you mean by the social status thing.

Your social status is seemingly higher when you meet people in hostels? Does this mean you are more popular amongst strangers? You consider yourself more successful than people at home, specifically when meeting people in hostels?

Elemonator

Yes and no, they fill an immediate void but to have a strong connection with someone takes time to build and you can't build it with everyone but I imagine its different to everyone. I have friends in my home town and friends from college, but I notice a difference with my friends back home. They are going to be professional musicians and I'm going on to be a solicitor. I'm still good friends but not as close as we once were when I'd be playing in bands. It's a shame really. All that could change when I start taking my music seriously again.........

FaceTurnedAway

Deleted User wrote: »

I genuinely don't know what you mean by the social status thing.

well at least you know what substitute friends are!

Deleted User wrote: »

Your social status is seemingly higher when you meet people in hostels? Does this mean you are more popular amongst strangers?

Of course that's what it means! I guess I'm hinting at the fact you're judged by your past.

Deleted User wrote: »

You consider yourself more successful than people at home, specifically when meeting people in hostels

that'd be reading into it too much.

FaceTurnedAway

Elemonator wrote: »

Yes and no, they fill an immediate void but to have a strong connection with someone takes time to build and you can't build it with everyone but I imagine its different to everyone. I have friends in my home town and friends from college, but I notice a difference with my friends back home. They are going to be professional musicians and I'm going on to be a solicitor. I'm still good friends but not as close as we once were when I'd be playing in bands. It's a shame really. All that could change when I start taking my music seriously again.........

People are beginning to take me seriously! Perhaps I met you in a hostel!

I hope you find time for the music as you say. It could be hard to get time.

FaceTurnedAway

tomwaterford wrote: »

^^I may see where your having difficulty in the friend department

^^I may hear why you like being in caves

andekwarhola

Will they always be your substitute? Whenever they need you?







woh woh

FaceTurnedAway

andekwarhola wrote: »

Will they always be your substitute? Whenever they need you?
woh woh

well they don't have to be!

FaceTurnedAway

Gravelly wrote: »

The OP sounds like it was spoken by Siri in Mandarin into google translate before being posted here.

That is not true

Capt'n Midnight

Deleted User wrote: »

I still have the same question before and after reading that; what's a substitute friend?

Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

FaceTurnedAway wrote: »

That is not true

Ah, I get you now. My old old friend. I have had to loom for a substitute, you were away so long. Welcome back!

FaceTurnedAway

Stephen Wooden Birthmark wrote: »

Ah, I get you now. My old old friend. I have had to loom for a substitute, you were away so long. Welcome back!

ah yeah

Glenster

Can I have those 90 seconds back from reading the nonsense OP? Please.

FaceTurnedAway

FaceTurnedAway wrote: »

As in, when a guy moves to a different city, he wouldn't start calling up his friend from back home twice a week talking about their feelings.

U ok hun? xx

FaceTurnedAway

Glenster wrote: »

Can I have those 90 seconds back from reading the nonsense OP? Please.

Leave it marinate.

FaceTurnedAway

Deleted User wrote: »

U ok hun? xx

ah that was like the only typo in there!

Winterlong

Glad we cleared that up. This has been enlightening.

FaceTurnedAway

Winterlong wrote: »

Glad we cleared that up. This has been enlightening.

Perhaps I should have put it in the relationship and personal issues forum!

FaceTurnedAway

Gravelly wrote: »

Perhaps this approach works when they are substitute friends?

ah yeah

Beyondgone

Yeah me too.

WTF?

DivingDuck

I was going to say "I'll have what he's having" but on reflection, maybe not.

FaceTurnedAway

Beyondgone wrote: »

Yeah me too.

WTF?

What's with all these cynical answers? It's a far more unique thread than the other one I came across you in!

Prime Irish Beef

Are these the friends you call when the besties aren't available?

Ferrari3600

High school?

FaceTurnedAway

Ferrari3600 wrote: »

High school?

I was planning on putting it on another website originally!

Skerries

Prime Irish Beef

Is there an offside friend rule as well?

Agricola

It's been a while since I read an OP and still wasn't any the wiser what the fúck it was about when I'd finished.

OP. Look at me when I'm talking to you!

FaceTurnedAway

Deleted User wrote: »

OP. Look at me when I'm talking to you!

No

koumi

I had to go through many hoops before I could register on boards. Eventually I managed contacting someone from boards admin to help guide me through the process of unlocking access as I was seemingly entering via a foreign IP address, or stuck behind a firewall, some unusual configuration preventing me from doing so and despite routing through proxy servers, I finally managed to get in through a back door incognito style. I wonder about that a lot OP.

FaceTurnedAway

koumi wrote: »

I had to go through many hoops before I could register on boards. Eventually I managed contacting someone from boards admin to help guide me through the process of unlocking access as I was seemingly entering via a foreign IP address, or stuck behind a firewall, some unusual configuration preventing me from doing so and despite routing through proxy servers, I finally managed to get in through a back door incognito style. I wonder about that a lot OP.

So you mean if you tried incognito style first day, it would've worked?

koumi

FaceTurnedAway wrote: »

So you mean if you tried incognito style first day, it would've worked?

yeah I think so

Ben Gadot

Is this a game where someone throws out a phrase and people have to respond with a one word answer? If so....twat.

FaceTurnedAway

FaceTurnedAway wrote: »

No

I said look at me! :mad: