New on the dating scene

Datingdisaster

Hi all, just looking to get other perspectives on something.

So I'm now on the dating scene and 3 weeks ago I met up with a guy from pof. We had a great first date, really hit it off and the're was alot of chemistry and we agreed a 2nd date for the following week, but for work reasons I had to cancel 2 days before it but we arranged to do it the following day however he cancelled it and we both said we'd arrange something the following week.

Things went quiet for 3 or 4 days after that with neither of us messaging the other. On the 4th day he messaged me and we arranged date number 2 which was on Wednesday gone and it went brilliant we got on like a house on fire and we arranged date number 3.

We did both say that we were also dating other people however he told me he slept with someone the week we were originally meant to go on our second date. I respect his honesty but it has put me off sleeping with him!!
I haven't slept with him yet or anyone else done my relationship ended.

I know with dating people are free to date as many people as they like and I don't judge people it they want to sleep with someone on the first date or the 10th date but It doesn't feel right for me to sex with someone who was sleeping with someone last week! I did go another date too but I didn't kiss the guy.

I know he's single and he can do what he likes and sleep with whoever he likes and to be fair he was open and honest with me. For me personally I don't have one night stands and if o got to the stage where I was going to have sex with someone I wouldn't be dating other guys.

So is it normal when going on dates that the guys I'm dating would be having sex with other women hes dating? Am I being prudish? Would you guys continue dating him?

All opinions welcome!

bmwguy

It's up to you to feel however you want, if it turns you off that's fine. I just find it bizarre he would tell you that.

I wouldn't tell a girl that I would assume there would be a very good chance it would turn her off. He may not have slept with anyone OP his words are only words. He might be trying to show he has women willing to sleep with him and that you better put out if you want to stay with him. Could be wrong though.

Mr. Incognito

Depends how it came up.

Someone obviously asked are you seeing other people and you both got honest answers.

Im not sure how the sex question came up unless it was directly asked but if you like him and the chemistry is there Id probably keep going.

Lots of people are bed hopping in modern disposal dating world.

If you liked him so much why were you off dating in between. No different for him sex or no sex.

Perhaps you should ask him to be exclusive whilst you are dating. Unfortunately that has to be spelled out these days.

I admire his honesty. Its a good trait

Emme

OP that is normal for people you meet on POF. It's a conveyor belt and some people on it are very promiscuous. I would also be put off by him sleeping with somebody else and making it so obvious. I would also be put off by his attitude that women are disposable but he isn't the only person (male or female) on the dating scene with that attitude.

It isn't easy to meet genuine people especially on dating sites and apps. You might be better to meet a guy through clubs or meetup groups but the likelihood of that can vary depending on your age.

If this guy doesn't feel right for you don't see him again.

Xterminator

I would also be put off by his attitude that women are disposable

not sure where you got that from? Perhaps your personal experiences are colouring your views?

OP it seems that until you have the 'are we exclusive' talk, then the new norm is that people continue to date others and yes dates can end up with sex.

silverharp

Xterminator wrote: »

OP it seems that until you have the 'are we exclusive' talk, then the new norm is that people continue to date others and yes dates can end up with sex.

it might be a thing but its hardly the norm? I'd imagine such a scenario would turn a lot of people off

Augme

silverharp wrote: »

it might be a thing but its hardly the norm? I'd imagine such a scenario would turn a lot of people off

I'd be quite surprised if it isn't the norm. But the norm is also not to actually say you are sleeping with other people because it would turn a lot of people off. Ignorance is bliss and all that.