Ed Sheeran, an agent of the Lizard People?

riffmongous

I was rewatching the X-Files last night when I had a moment of clarity..

16 songs in the top 20 singles, 3 out of 5 in top albums

Top streamed songs on Spotify

Seemingly endless playing on national radios, millions of followers on twitter, facebook, instagram, billions of views on youtube and awful, awful music.

With less and less people getting vaccinated and the discovery of chemtrails, have the lizard people as part of a massive government conspiracy switched to using Sheeran's music to control us with superpositioned ultrasonic brainwaves? At this point I'd like to remind skeptics about the principle of Occam's Razor, that the simplest answer is most likely the correct one, and here it's a pretty easy decision; that an extra-terrestrial race of lizards in conjunction with shadowy government groups is relentlessly aurally bombarding us to weaken our willpower and make us easier to control, or that somehow people choose to listen to this 'music' on purpose?

Whether Ed himself is one of the blood bathing space reptiles or simply a human puppet remains to be seen, but there are disturbing signs out there, take a look at this picture Scully, notice the motif on the guitar fretboard? And the tattoo on the right elbow? If that's not enough, explain this frankly bizarre image

The pieces fit, the only questions that now remain are, how much more popular will he get and how will this affect the takeover timeline? I'd suggest everyone go straight to the kitchen and craft themselves a set of tinfoil earmuffs to block out the ultra high frequency waves, as your standard tinfoil hat leaves the ears free, undoubtedly this was part of the decision to switch to auditory control mechanisms.

98q76e12hrflnk

Never go full retard

Outlaw Pete

How's your sisters these days, Jim.

riffmongous

Decker Grumpy Symmetry wrote: »

Never go full retard

Looks like they've gotten to you too declan

AlmightyCushion

I'd like to point out that his name is an anagram of eared hens. That can't be coincidence. I think it's safe to say that he's using the money from his music career to create some sort of human chicken hybrid to help the Illuminati take over the world.

riffmongous

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

I'd like to point out that his name is an anagram of eared hens. That can't be coincidence. I think it's safe to say that he's using the money from his music career to create some sort of human chicken hybrid to help the Illuminati take over the world.

You fool! Can't you see it's the Rand Corporation, everyone knows the Illuminati are just a government cover story

Hoboo

If it looks like a lizard, and sounds like a lizard.......

riffmongous

Hoboo wrote: »

If it looks like a lizard, and sounds like a lizard.......

The truth is right there Mr. Hoboo

Arghus

Well known troubadours those lizards.

Xaracatz

If you take some of the letters of his song 'Happier', it spells rep_i__.

REPTILE !!! :eek:

riffmongous

Arghus wrote: »

Well known troubadours those lizards.

Think about it, snakes, crocs, dinosaurs all make noise yet lizards appear silent to humans

Alf Stewart.

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

I'd like to point out that his name is an anagram of eared hens. That can't be coincidence. I think it's safe to say that he's using the money from his music career to create some sort of human chicken hybrid to help the Illuminati take over the world.

riffmongous

Xaracatz wrote: »

If you take some of the letters of his song 'Happier', it spells rep_i__.

REPTILE !!! :eek:

Nice find, now we just need to find the partner songs to complete the sequence. I'm guessing the number of songs will tell us how many years we have left

Xaracatz

riffmongous wrote: »

Nice find, now we just need to find the partner songs to complete the sequence. I'm guessing the number of songs will tell us how many years we have left

But wait, there's more..



In a bold move, 99.5 PLAY FM outed Ed Sheeran as a chameleon - the most devious and sneaky of all lizard-kind. This was almost two years ago, and I have never heard of 99.5 PLAY FM in this time. Have they been silenced!?!

Mister Vain

I'd like to hear David Icke's opinion on it.

riffmongous

Xaracatz wrote: »

But wait, there's more..



In a bold move, 99.5 PLAY FM outed Ed Sheeran as a chameleon - the most devious and sneaky of all lizard-kind. This was almost two years ago, and I have never heard of 99.5 PLAY FM in this time. Have they been silenced!?!

:eek:

I did some background checks on 99.5 PLAY FM and see they had a transmitter in a secret facility somewhere called Antipolo City. Possible link to a polio vaccine based Lizard Syndicate? Was their outing of Ed and subsequent silencing part of a secret conflict between different Reptile factions??

Atoms for Peace

His music is on the same frequency that caused Brian Cranston's head to explode, when he guest starred in an episode of the x-files.

Xaracatz

riffmongous wrote: »

:eek:

I did some background checks on 99.5 PLAY FM and see they had a transmitter in a secret facility somewhere called Antipolo City. Possible link to a polio vaccine based Lizard Syndicate? Was their outing of Ed and subsequent silencing part of a secret conflict between different Reptile factions??

I fear this has gone beyond mere coincidence.

riffmongous

Xaracatz wrote: »

I fear this has gone beyond mere coincidence.

We're through the looking glass here people

The Hill Billy

Evergreen - reference to the colour of his 'true' skin?

New Man - song about how he feels after moulting.

Shape of You - the fave tune for a Shape-shifter slow set.

Castle on the Hill - clearly the Great Pyramid of Cheops.

Plus he is ginger & therefore has no soul. OP - You are definitely on to something here!

Mickeroo

Disguising himself as a daywalker was the real masterstroke.

riffmongous

The Hill Billy wrote: »

Evergreen - reference to the colour of his 'true' skin?

New Man - song about how he feels after moulting.

Shape of You - the fave tune for a Shape-shifter slow set.

Castle on the Hill - clearly the Great Pyramid of Cheops.

Plus he is ginger & therefore has no soul. OP - You are definitely on to something here!

Shape of you, of course..I said it at the start but all the pieces fit, I just hope they don't shut down the entire Boards project now in an effort to cover this up

rmchmufc

I don't know about him being an agent of the Lizard People but what I do know is that his Galway Girl song is total crap.

Dr Crayfish

I honestly don't know one of his songs, they wouldn't believe me at work when they were trying to buy tickets recently. Where do you people hear this sh*t? In fairness I only listen to RTE Radio 1 and Newstalk, and don't watch Music Television. It's quite easily to avoid this nonsense, I'd have to go out of my way to hear him, so you're doing it wrong if you're hearing him but you don't want to.

Also, the lighter your skin the worse tattoos look IMO.

dirkmeister

Yvan eht nioj

riffmongous

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I honestly don't know one of his songs, they wouldn't believe me at work when they were trying to buy tickets recently. Where do you people hear this sh*t? In fairness I only listen to RTE Radio 1 and Newstalk, and don't watch Music Television. It's quite easily to avoid this nonsense, I'd have to go out of my way to hear him, so you're doing it wrong if you're hearing him but you don't want to.

Also, the lighter your skin the worse tattoos look IMO.

Not even one? I guess maybe if you only listen to certain stations it's possible Dr Krycek

Dr Crayfish

riffmongous wrote: »

Not even one? I guess maybe if you only listen to certain stations it's possible Dr Krycek

Well maybe if I heard one I'd know the tune, but nope, couldn't hum or name any of his songs.

Agricola

I hate this "post cool" age. Back in the good old days musicians used to smoke and drink and wore leather jackets while they were sticking it to the man. They walked with a swagger and smashed the gaff up because........why wouldn't you.

Now people fall over themselves over scruffy little ginger lads with big Irish heads on em who sing about their wexford granny and the like.

I'm out.

Dr Crayfish

Agricola wrote: »

Back in the good old days musicians used to smoke and drink and wore leather jackets while they were sticking it to the man.

Well the ones who didn't die at the time all became bourgeois, and now many of them are ageing millionaires, so it didn't really mean anything! Johnny Rotten went on I'm a Celeb ffs.

Agricola

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

Well the ones who didn't die at the time all became bourgeois, and now many of them are ageing millionaires, so it didn't really mean anything! Johnny Rotten went on I'm a Celeb ffs.

Still take him over Niall Horan!

Capt'n Midnight

riffmongous wrote: »

You fool! Can't you see it's the Rand Corporation, everyone knows the Illuminati are just a government cover story

It's all explained here, you just have to know where to look

https://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/monograph_reports/MR1418/MR1418.deviates.pdf

riffmongous

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

It's all explained here, you just have to know where to look

https://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/monograph_reports/MR1418/MR1418.deviates.pdf

Thanks Deepthroat, but next time I'd prefer a clandestine handover in an underground carpark

riffmongous

Agricola wrote: »

Still take him over Niall Horan!

Looks like this goes all the way through the music industry

pictured:Niall Horan and Zayn Malik

antodeco

His next song is great!

Na nanananana nanananana Leader

Jack the Stripper

He badly needs a hair cut.

antodeco

Jack the Stripper wrote: »

He badly needs a hair cut.

He should get it sheer-ed

snowflaker

He needs to OD to stay relevant.

Anongeneric

Agricola wrote: »

I hate this "post cool" age. Back in the good old days musicians used to smoke and drink and wore leather jackets while they were sticking it to the man. They walked with a swagger and smashed the gaff up because........why wouldn't you.

Now people fall over themselves over scruffy little ginger lads with big Irish heads on em who sing about their wexford granny and the like.

I'm out.

Exactly, in the good old days our musicians were dangerous, damaged, dysfunctional people,
The more DDD the better and edgier the music.

And it's also seeped into women's fashion,
In my time a woman with tattoos was from a damaged toxic family and thus an easy score, now they're just doing it instead of developing a personality.

What good is a well adjusted, well educated young one who has had healthy and respectful relationship with her father, to me?

The corporations have ruined it for us all with the aid of the Rand Corp and a Ginger Pied Piper

Insect Overlord

snowflaker wrote: »

He needs to OD to stay relevant.

He's another year away from qualifying for the 27 Club.

ive suspected this for quite some time..

snowflaker

An File wrote: »

He's another year away from qualifying for the 27 Club.

I was wondering that

Samaris

Ed Sheeran being a lizard-person explains so much. Thank you for the moment of enlightenment!

Galway Girl is the story of his meeting a young woman, deciding she is worthy of bearing the next lizard generation through her beating him at darts and pool (and dancing, singing and etcetera) and bringing her home to impregnate her with his lizardly spawn. Next song is reportedly "My Lovely Nest".

RikkFlair

He's got his own subheading on the RTE website, between News and Sport.

Don't click on it or you'll be turned straight into a lizard.

riffmongous

So hours after their conspiracy is outed Buckingham Palace calls an emergency meeting.... Don't be surprised if we never hear from poor Ed again

ilkhanid

No idea. I've never heard an Ed Sheeran song....that I'm conscious of hearing anyway. Are they any good?

sbsquarepants

rmchmufc wrote: »

I don't know about him being an agent of the Lizard People but what I do know is that his Galway Girl song is total crap.

Worst song ever is a strong statement - but it is definitely the worst song, ever!

topper75

When a fat pasty-faced ginge singing Ronan Keating-grade stuff fills sports stadiums...

gonna need some pretty whacky theories to explain it away.

OP could well be sane yet.

riffmongous

topper75 wrote: »

When a fat pasty-faced ginge singing Ronan Keating-grade stuff fills sports stadiums...

gonna need some pretty whacky theories to explain it away.

OP could well be sane yet.

There is simply no other even remotely plausible explanation

Samaris

Don't know anything about the bloke, I just heard fairly recently that half the dross that comes out of the radio in work is by him*. Galway Girl is the only one I can name and/or might recognise enough to put a name to if I heard it.

*No joke, I had no clue who this Ed Sheeran fella was until about a month ago when I picked it up by osmosis from workmates. Apparently he's been A Big Thing for a while now. Huh.


In retrospect, the influence of Ed Sheeran's Boyzone-style stuff may be the reason I'm humming "Tell Me Why" by the Backstreet Boys. Bloody annoying song. And it is looping around my mind maddeningly.

riffmongous

Samaris wrote: »

Don't know anything about the bloke, I just heard fairly recently that half the dross that comes out of the radio in work is by him*. Galway Girl is the only one I can name and/or might recognise enough to put a name to if I heard it.

*No joke, I had no clue who this Ed Sheeran fella was until about a month ago when I picked it up by osmosis from workmates. Apparently he's been A Big Thing for a while now. Huh.


In retrospect, the influence of Ed Sheeran's Boyzone-style stuff may be the reason I'm humming "Tell Me Why" by the Backstreet Boys. Bloody annoying song. And it is looping around my mind maddeningly.

You should be careful, that sounds dangerously out of touch

Samaris

riffmongous wrote: »

You should be careful, that sounds dangerously out of touch

Says the Ed-Sheeran-is-a-lizard guy :P