Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Anxiety of strangers

  • 01-05-2017 11:33pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi

    A bit of a stupid issue here but I get anxiety when dealing and talking to strangers. It could be as simple as walking up the road, and I constantly look anywhere but at them in case they look laugh at me. It could be trying to avoid walking behind someone incase I'm accused of following them. In shops or cafes I can never make small talk with the staff.

    If I'm making a phone call, I think of everything they could possibly say to laugh and slightly me. If I'm going on a night out, I think of all the things that could possibly go we wrong, instead of enjoying the night.

    This is really getting to me as I shouldn't be afraid to live my life. No don't get me wrong, I have an OK social life, but a good life in general. I'm 21. I study computer science in college. I have a part time construction job. I have great friends from, school and college. My social life generally is football with my mates every Friday, pubs few times a month, nightclubs rarely, cinema occasionally. I even went to France last year, my first holiday without my parents.

    This stems from when I was 14. I was texting this popular good looking girl. I'm not exactly popular, I'm more of a nerd (but a decent looking one) Things were going great, texting most days, met up with her a few times. The she texted me asking 'why do you stalk me'. It was not at text that caused anxiety. I was afraid of what people would think of me even though I did nothing wrong. I was afraid she knew somewhere and they would say this to me in front of all my friends, in a shop ect.

    I don't know what to do in order to sort this. Any advice.


Comments

  • #2
    silverharp
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,854 ✭✭✭✭silverharp


    Im sure someone can give you a more detailed answer but things to note, people don't care 1/10 as much about your every move as you think they do. Secondly if your strategy is not to be laughed at you are going about it the wrong way, people/strangers are going to warm to you more if you are "breezly" polite rather than you thinking about how not to send out any social cues.
    As a simple starting point set yourself the goal of making a comment to someone who works in a cafe or supermarket as you are going through the till , weather, how busy or quiet it is it doesn't matter and you should find your anxiety levels should drop overtime to the point you don't think about it.

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • #3
    zoobizoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭zoobizoo


    Hey,

    Sounds like me at that age... from about 14 to mid 20s.

    You're looking for things that aren't there and aren't really - even though you may feel they are.


    Get yourself a book called The Feeling Good Handbook - there are some exercises in there to help with scenarios similar to the ones you describe.


    As for what the girl texted... well, she may not have meant it in such a harsh way..... maybe she had wanted you to make a move on her, you didn't and she took it as a slight. Then was asking "why do you keep contacting me if you're not going to ask me out? " Is that a possibility?


Advertisement