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Saunas and Shame

  • 23-04-2017 7:33pm
    #1
    LLMMLL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,590 ✭✭✭


    I've started this thread to reply to some stuff in the Boiler house thread that was going off topic.
    "The real motivator for men to use saunas isn’t just any old sex though – it’s a specific type. Cheap and anonymous, it requires none of the responsibilities of a relationship. The cheap part is easy to pass off, but the need for anonymity and the fear of intimacy are more complex social issues. We can’t ignore the reality that some gay men are addicted to one-night stands and, because of arrested development and/or internalised homophobia, run the risk of never achieving their potential for finding long-term partners.

    I’ve no doubt that many of the lads who frequent saunas are happy and fulfilled in their lives. However, on my visits I’ve seen a lot of drunken desperation, sometimes laced with thinly veiled shame and internalised agesim."

    http://theoutmost.com/.../trouble-gay-saunas/

    This article sums up the problem with queer theory type approaches. This guy admits saunas make him feel bad. So he sees them through this shameful lens.

    What behaviour exactly constitutes "thinly veiled shame"? Basically the author saw something he didn't like, and then ascribed the label "result.of shame" with zero evidence that this behaviour resulted from shame. He sees what he wants to see. It doesn't matter how guys in saunas behave to the author. He feels ashamed, thinks other people must also feel ashamed, and therefore sees any behaviour he doesn't like as driven by shame.

    It's like asking an anti gay rights campaigner to go.to a gay bar and report back on the behaviour they see. Hardly to be taken as impartial.


Comments

  • #2
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 13,102 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    No shame in going to a sauna. I actually met my ex in the Boilerhouse in 2000 and we were together for nearly 10 years and are still very close friends.

    As long as you play safe and don't harass others I don't see the problem. On the Continent there are some amazing saunas with full swimming pools and lounges.

    I can see how saunas would act as an outlet for closeted gay men. But gay men of all sorts use saunas.


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