Noisy housemate

DauphinAi

My housemate came home drunk last night and was on the phone talking loudly, making loads of noise, and I'd to be up at 6 this morning. I wasn't able to get back asleep after. I txt her to ask her to keep it down and all I got back was "yep", as she seems to get defensive about it. This has happened so many times and I'm a laid back person so hate having to moan but she will literally be chatting away on the phone, music blaring at 1am when I'm trying to sleep and even though I've said it to her every time she hasn't stopped doing it.

I don't know what the resolution is, and then I also wonder if maybe she has a right to make a racket if she wants considering she's a tenant too? I'm just fed up now having got no sleep last night and a day of work ahead of me.

Tokyo

Have you tried having a face to face conversation with your housemate, in the cold and sober light of day? If her being drunk and noisy is an issue for you, then a text message while she's still drunk probably isn't the best path towards resolution....

DauphinAi

mike_ie wrote: »

Have you tried having a face to face conversation with your housemate, in the cold and sober light of day? If her being drunk and noisy is an issue for you, then a text message while she's still drunk probably isn't the best path towards resolution....

She's noisy when she's sober too. I've brought it up in a light hearted way as I don't want to have a big sit down about it, but it doesn't seem to change anything

baldbear

DauphinAi wrote: »

She's noisy when she's sober too. I've brought it up in a light hearted way as I don't want to have a big sit down about it, but it doesn't seem to change anything

Move or stay and bear it. That's the only solution I can see if she won't keep the noise down.

Try having a final 1 to 1 chat and see how you get on.

But then if you do decide to move & you might get to meet another loud idiot.

House shares are tough.

DauphinAi

baldbear wrote: »

Move or stay and bear it. That's the only solution I can see if she won't keep the noise down.

Try having a final 1 to 1 chat and see how you get on.

But then if you do decide to move & you might get to meet another loud idiot.

House shares are tough.

They really are, I was just thinking this morning that every house share I've had has been tough!

Estrellita

DauphinAi wrote: »

I've brought it up in a light hearted way as I don't want to have a big sit down about it, but it doesn't seem to change anything

Then be prepared for nothing to change. This isn't one of her funny little quirks as a house mate, you said this is causing you loss of sleep before work.

Ask to speak to her in the living room, sit her down and tell her you are worn out from no sleep. If she is a decent person she will apologize and take what you've said on board. If she wants to be defensive about it and immature, then you are at nothing. Start looking for new accommodation and move on. You will have to grow thicker skin when it comes to house sharing, people will P.iss you off all the time, and you have to learn to stand up for yourself.

I've lived in shared accommodation in the past too, and they range from damned inconsiderate to messy and smelly to just plain odd as a three dollar bill. It strikes you that their parents or previous house mates must have been glad to see the back of them.

Bottom line is; harden up and speak up.

listermint

Serious suggestion,. Earbuds?

Ursus Horribilis

Years ago I was that noisy housemate, embarrassing and all as it is to say. I wasn't as bad as your housemate but I was practicing my guitar late at night, drying my hair after midnight and listening to music loud. All while being on the other side of the wall to someone who used to get up at 6:30 every morning.

She tried dropping hints but they didn't work because I didn't *get* how much of a nuisance I was. In the end, she took me aside and told me politely but firmly what was going on. I was absolutely mortified because I'd never realised how it was affecting other people. After feeling a bit embarrassed for a little while after that, things returned to normal between us.

The only advice I can give you is to take your housemate aside and spell out to her very clearly that being noisy in the small hours of the morning is not on. Texts and hints don't cut it. It's going to have to be face to face.

skankkuvhima

If she is paying the same rent as you then I think she is entitled to go out on a weekend night and make a bit of noise.

If you want to run the house your own way then I think you might need to rent a place on your own.

Estrellita

skankkuvhima wrote: »

If she is paying the same rent as you then I think she is entitled to go out on a weekend night and make a bit of noise.

If you want to run the house your own way then I think you might need to rent a place on your own.

Paying rent in a house does not entitle you to make a nuisance of yourself or to make everyone elses existence there a misery.

noodler

skankkuvhima wrote: »

If she is paying the same rent as you then I think she is entitled to go out on a weekend night and make a bit of noise.

If you want to run the house your own way then I think you might need to rent a place on your own.

Here right to make noise in the wee hours, if it exists, doesn't not outweigh your right to enjoy a reasonable night's sleep.

skankkuvhima

If I'm paying rent in a house then I'm entitled to make a bit of noise once in a while on a weekend night as far as I'm concerned.

Ursus Horribilis

OP describes it as " This has happened so many times". It's not a once off.

He/she has nothing to lose by talking to the housemate. If it improves, then happy days. If not, then another houseshare is on the cards. It's very flippant to just throw out the "live by yourself" line. People usually house share out of economic necessity, not because they have a burning urge to share with strangers. A bit of respect and consideration for your housemates goes a long way. And I'm saying that as the person who was a nuisance at one stage.

wirelessdude01

skankkuvhima wrote:

If I'm paying rent in a house then I'm entitled to make a bit of noise once in a while on a weekend night as far as I'm concerned.

OP clearly states this is not a once in a while occurrence.

kylith

OP, you're going to have to gird yourself and actually have this out with her. You will have to have a sit down about it. You may well have to get up when she comes in drunk and noisy and puts music on. Initially try to be calm and rational, but yes, it might get shouty before she gets the point.

Doctor Nick

Firstly, why text if housemate is on phone? They obviously won't see it if on a call.

Secondly, how often is often? If it's once or twice per week, i.e. Weekends, then not much can be done. It's their home too and they are allowed to enjoy use of said home. If it's more frequently, or worse nightly then maybe speak to the housemate. Not a text, but speech. It should hopefully improve things. It's harder to ignore someone talking to you than it is a text message.

noodler

Doctor Nick wrote: »

Firstly, why text if housemate is on phone? They obviously won't see it if on a call.

Secondly, how often is often? If it's once or twice per week, i.e. Weekends, then not much can be done. It's their home too and they are allowed to enjoy use of said home. If it's more frequently, or worse nightly then maybe speak to the housemate. Not a text, but speech. It should hopefully improve things. It's harder to ignore someone talking to you than it is a text message.

On what planet is it OK to rock in the wee hours of the morning and play music?

Is this a hypothetical point you are making?

Do you honestly think, in any situation be it renter, family, partner etc that turning on music loud enough to prevent someone's sleep is being "allowed to enjoy use of said home"?

Doctor Nick

noodler wrote: »

On what planet is it OK to rock in the wee hours of the morning and play music?

Is this a hypothetical point you are making?

Do you honestly think, in any situation be it renter, family, partner etc that turning on music loud enough to prevent someone's sleep is being "allowed to enjoy use of said home"?

Didn't actually notice that it was 1AM until I reread the OP after your reply. NO that's not alright and would drive me crazy. In saying that, my point still stands. The OP should talk to the person if they're in the same house, passive aggressive texting is no way to communicate if there are problems.

pilly

noodler wrote: »

On what planet is it OK to rock in the wee hours of the morning and play music?

Is this a hypothetical point you are making?

Do you honestly think, in any situation be it renter, family, partner etc that turning on music loud enough to prevent someone's sleep is being "allowed to enjoy use of said home"?

In a planet where young people share houses it's quite normal.

Maybe it's not okay but it happens. You see it on ads all the time "not a party house".

It's something people have to take into consideration when sharing a house.

Either you have to be someone who sleeps like a log or you deliberately set out to find quiet housemates.

I agree with another poster above, I'd also try earplugs.

rondog

I would hit the roof.Its basic courtesy and consideration not to make noise and wake people who you are sharing with.If I had to be up for work I would not like it if an inconsiderate flatmate came in and woek me up.
How would the person making the noise feel if the person getting up at 6am was to start making a racket and waking him up?

athtrasna

Did the housemate know you had to be up early? Yesterday was a bank holiday, a day in which people tend to not have to get up for work, Sunday night was not a normal Sunday.

leggo

skankkuvhima wrote: »

If I'm paying rent in a house then I'm entitled to make a bit of noise once in a while on a weekend night as far as I'm concerned.

No, you're not. If you're sharing a house, the key word is 'sharing', therefore everyone considers each other's needs and compromise in the name of that. So if someone is up at 6am, the fact that you pay a portion of the rent and bills towards the place doesn't give you the right to make as much noise as you want. In fact most shared apartments etc have certain limitations regarding noise at a certain time. If you're in one, go check your lease, it's probably in there.

So no: if you want to march to your own beat, save up and buy your own house. Nobody can stop you doing what you want then. If you can't afford that then your financial situation dictates that you do, in fact, have to keep the noise down.

OP, as much as you hate it, serious face-to-face chats are the next step here after what you've tried has failed. Next step after that is looking to see if there are any noise guidelines in your own lease and possibly contacting the landlord with proof.