People think I'm a lesbian- and I'm not

LegacyUser

So just as the title says...

Reasons for them to them to think it:
Apparently I check out other women- but I think it's just making people watching a bit too obvious.

Reasons I'm not:
I don't have sexual thoughts about women
I've been with guys before and been happy

I've just been out on a night out with a meetup group. I have to admit I was very upset over it. The organiser of the group took one look at me, said "hello" and turned his back to me. Muttering "queer", "gay" and "freak".

I dress elegantly, have lots of interesting topics of conversation.

I'm beginning to start to think I am a lesbian though. Going by the fact that so many people think that i am.

Could I be in denial?
Are peoples "gaydar" generally correct? Especially if SO many ppl seem to think i'm a lesbian?

JackTaylorFan

unsure123 wrote: »

So just as the title says...

Reasons for them to them to think it:
Apparently I check out other women- but I think it's just making people watching a bit too obvious.

Reasons I'm not:
I don't have sexual thoughts about women
I've been with guys before and been happy

I've just been out on a night out with a meetup group. I have to admit I was very upset over it. The organiser of the group took one look at me, said "hello" and turned his back to me. Muttering "queer", "gay" and "freak".

I dress elegantly, have lots of interesting topics of conversation.

I'm beginning to start to think I am a lesbian though. Going by the fact that so many people think that i am.

Could I be in denial?
Are peoples "gaydar" generally correct? Especially if SO many ppl seem to think i'm a lesbian?

OP, are you the same person who posted in PI a few daya ago? I thought you were offered some decent advice there, to be honest.

Also, what kind of meetup was this? It sounds kinda strange that anyone would mutter all three of those phrases in one fell swoop like that.

Lauren3142

have you ever heard of the kinsey scale ? if not id look into it , might help you understand human sexuality more and educate you some ?

how old/young are you ??

baby and crumble

Sometimes people are straight until they're not, and vice versa. Nothing is set in stone, but honestly,OP, if you are attracted to men, and not to women, then you're probably not gay.

How you dress, or look, or act, has no bearing on your sexuality. If someone tthought you were English because of the way you spoke, would that make you English? Of course not.

If you're worried about it, might be no harm to check in with a professional and talk through y our worries. Maybe you do have an attraction to women you haven't connected with yet, but from how you describe yourself, I doubt it.

Also tell the pass-remarkable people to bog off. It's none of anyone else's business who you find attractive, end of.

nkav86

That's madness! The organiser sounds like a moron, best ignored. If you are happy with men and feel you are straight then there isn't any way for people to convince you otherwise, just like we can't be convinced this 'gay thing' is some phase we'll get over or the right guy/girl will change our minds some day. Once you're happy, live your life for you and continue being happy!

prateekjainaa

you shouldnt get influenced by what others will think and are thinking. Do what you feel is right, no-one here is perfect. also, you dont have to prove anything here. You are, what you are and by choice.

As posted, I wouldn't care what others think of me.
On the comments from the homophobic organiser, I would've challenged him on his comments.

Most people have no time for someone like that nowadays.

gizmo81

As that respected philosopher, Ru Paul, said: "Unless they pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind".

foxylaydee

Thank you all, I appreciate your comments. Feeling really down.

There is a guy that I had a crush on, but staff warned him off me. :-S

Dick Turnip

foxylaydee wrote: »

Thank you all, I appreciate your comments. Feeling really down.

There is a guy that I had a crush on, but staff warned him off me. :-S

Easier said than done OP but try ignore them as best you can.

From above, the staff of where warned him off you?

Also, what sort of meetup group was it for? The organiser sounds like a tool anyway. Better off away from his company regardless.

foxylaydee

I only work part-time there. Work is not plentiful in my sector. Very very bitchy people (not all of course). Although, those that have little else to do except gossip and interfere will do so. I think they are miserable as it's not an easy place to work in. They really only employ the best and consistently expect the best from staff.

The meetup organiser doesn't attend that much. At least the other members took my side "she might be gay, but she's a very nice person" and I believe he's mostly not liked. I can't help but feel upset by it. Hugs to anyone that is going though/has gone through similar homophobic behaviour.

Dick Turnip

foxylaydee wrote: »

I only work part-time there. Work is not plentiful in my sector. Very very bitchy people (not all of course). Although, those that have little else to do except gossip and interfere will do so. I think they are miserable as it's not an easy place to work in. They really only employ the best and consistently expect the best from staff.

The meetup organiser doesn't attend that much. At least the other members took my side "she might be gay, but she's a very nice person" and I believe he's mostly not liked. I can't help but feel upset by it. Hugs to anyone that is going though/has gone through similar homophobic behaviour.

Sounds like a nasty bit of work. Can't understand how someone like that ends up being the organiser of a meetup group

foxylaydee

You have to pay to become the organiser of it. I think he is wealthy from the way he was speaking.

TheYoungWan

gizmo81 wrote: »

As that respected philosopher, Ru Paul, said: "Unless they pay your bills, pay them bitches no mind".

Too right, love dah!

NIMAN

Its nobody else's business but yours.

Forget about them.

foxylaydee

Just wondering....


Like- people that came out later in life- did you often overhear comments of ppl saying that "he/she is gay" about you? Even though you weren't out to yourself at the time...

Annasopra

Mod
OP I have merged your threads together.
Perhaps have a good read through this thread and the other one over in the Personal Issues and if you still have questions you don't feel have been addressed come back onto this thread with them.

wakka12

Yeh, lots of people thought I was gay and I heard it said behind my back a couple times. I think I knew though , but just didnt want to admit to myself