The 45 minute intruder!!

Beanybabog

Apparently (according to Dr Google anyway) babies often wake after 45 minutes due to the length of the sleep cycle and can't get themselves back to sleep. I have been struggling with this and it takes a lot of work to get baby back to sleep. She wakes around 40/45 minutes after going for her nap. The first nap isn't too bad but her later nap is - she wakes giving out, upset, rubbing her eyes etc, still obviously very tired. If I get her up she's not in good form.

Anyone managed to over come this? I have tried rocking her crib, holding her hand, shushing her, picking her up. The only thing that works is taking her out and breastfeeding, and even at that it's a good half hour at least before she'll drift off again. Also I'm thinking of starting trying to avoid Bf as a way to sleep because i am now the only person who can get her down. She used half wake and I could rock her back to sleep and she'd be down for 2 hours. Now it's another 45 minutes max and she can start to get tired after 30-60 minutes awake and is in poor form. So I spend most afternoons lying in bed with her trying to keep her asleep.

Anyone managed to teach baby to overcome this by themselves?

PhoenixParker

What age is baby?

tiredcity

Also struggling! Baby is 14 weeks & breastfed. Had horrendous two days where he woke all day & night every 45mins and be impossible to settle & sleep is still all over the place. Been trying a 90 min awake 90 min asleep EASY routine for the last three days with mixed success but nightime is still a disaster. He's waking to feed 4 times which could mean growth spurt but is slowly killing me...

Any tips/advice gratefully recieved!

Beanybabog

God Tired city I feel bad for moaning now!!! Mine is sleeping great at night at least. Had a bad week myself at 14 weeks but apart from the naps it's resolved. Mine is nearly 16 weeks and breast fed. Went down for 45 mins at 7.45am this morning and that's it. Eyes hanging out of her head 4 hours later and won't sleep

dori_dormer

As they get older the sleep cycle gets a bit longer. My fella used to wake every 30 minutes. Sometimes of I was quickenough I could get him back down for another cycle. But usually not. Until 4 months old he'd go down every 90 minutes for 30 minutes. He's 8 months now and will nap 3 times a day for anywhere between 45 and 2 hrs. Honestly babies are generally bloody cranky in the afternoon anyway! My guy whinges from about 3pm onwards. Haven't found anything to fix it other than plenty of food and not letting him get over tired.
I make sure he's not too hot or cold, snuffle balm keeps his breathing ok and white noise drowns out any loud noise. Development leaps can also mess with sleep patterns.
Your best bet after she wakes cranky is to go for a walk or to the shops if it's rainy. More visually entertaining than the house for you and them!

Beanybabog

I just fed mine and put her down - no joy!! Now she's lying in the bed beside me talking to herself. Since 8.30 this morning she slept for 20 mins in her car seat. I tried to get her down for an hour and a half today, no joy and then we went out (hence the car seat nap). She looked shattered a while ago but no joy!!

endacl

Sure you never know what they'll be getting up to after dark once they're up on their back legs!

PhoenixParker

Beanybabog wrote: »

I just fed mine and put her down - no joy!! Now she's lying in the bed beside me talking to herself. Since 8.30 this morning she slept for 20 mins in her car seat. I tried to get her down for an hour and a half today, no joy and then we went out (hence the car seat nap). She looked shattered a while ago but no joy!!

If the car works the buggy might be worth a shot?
I just rock mine to sleep in his buggy every time. Usually takes five minutes.
I find the key with naps is to catch them at the first sign of tiredness. First or second yawn and down he goes. At four months that was 90mins from when he woke up.

But like all things baby what works for me probably won't work for you.

Beanybabog

PhoenixParker wrote: »

If the car works the buggy might be worth a shot?
I just rock mine to sleep in his buggy every time. Usually takes five minutes.
I find the key with naps is to catch them at the first sign of tiredness. First or second yawn and down he goes. At four months that was 90mins from when he woke up.

But like all things baby what works for me probably won't work for you.

She hates her pram. I could go walking for hours and she won't nap. She won't nap in it anymore at home (she used to) but she's a big girl and it's an icandy which seem to havendaurly small bassinets. The car seat napping only started this week. I've tried staying at home all day and bring her up at the first yawn, at 90 minutes etc. And then I get frustrated because I'm up there for an hour to two hours trying to make her nap- today after 1.5 hours I just quit and brought her downstairs because we were going out. She was in great form today for the most part despite the lack of naps so that's good.

She's sleeping well at night so I suppose I can't win them all!! The only issues I've had with her all along I suppose is napping. Even when I thought I had nailed it it only lasts a few days and there's a new nap problem!!

shesty

Honestly?no there's nothing you can do!Both mine were forty minute nappers.Baby no.1 did it til six months, when she suddenly (the day she turned six months!) Slept an hour and a bit one morning and the same in the afternoon and we never looked back.Baby no. 2 did it for about 9 months, until we dropped the evening nap (because she was able to get through the evening to bedtime ok) amd then her morning and afternoon naps started stretching.

Neither child stretched their naps and believe me i tried everything.Neither really went in for car sleeping and buggy sleeping either.No.1 showed no signs of tiredness in the day until she was way too overtired and too wired for sleep.

So with number one at about 13 weeks I did some desperate research and discovered they really need to be going for a nap about two hours from when they last woke up.She gave no indicators of tiredness so I had no clue!So I implemented that.Stayed at home every morning for a week or so (to get the routine) amd two hours after she woke up in the morning, i put her up in her cot for a nap.I did try with no. 1, rocking and singing and all that good stuff....but at 16 weeks I realised she was getting big to hold her to rock, it was taking longer and longer to get her to sleep, so I was best off just doing a little read of a book, closing the curtains and putting her in her cot.Initially I sat in the room til she dropped off, after a couple of weeks, I hung around outside the room.And basically did that for the rest of the day.For the second nap I'd try to be in the car or out with buggy (you have to get out!) Amd then the third nap was hardest in the late afternoon.....took long to fall asleep (tired after the day) and only ever slept maybe 30mins.Both kids were the same, only no.2 was easier...I had learned on no.1 so I just got no.2 into a napping habit way earlier!Nothing I could do about the forty minute thing except structure my day around it as best I could.They do grow out of it and you do get used to it but it is an absolute pain in the #$%!!

Oh yes and....the harder you try to get them to nap, the greater the chance they won't go!They pick up on everything!You need to take some really deep breaths, and just let it all go and relax, really.It's so tough, but they sense your....stress, for want of a better word.You need to be really relaxed and almost uncaring (about them napping) and your chances will be better :-) I've been there too!

brokensoul

Beanybabog wrote: »

She hates her pram. I could go walking for hours and she won't nap. She won't nap in it anymore at home (she used to) but she's a big girl and it's an icandy which seem to havendaurly small bassinets. The car seat napping only started this week. I've tried staying at home all day and bring her up at the first yawn, at 90 minutes etc. And then I get frustrated because I'm up there for an hour to two hours trying to make her nap- today after 1.5 hours I just quit and brought her downstairs because we were going out. She was in great form today for the most part despite the lack of naps so that's good.

She's sleeping well at night so I suppose I can't win them all!! The only issues I've had with her all along I suppose is napping. Even when I thought I had nailed it it only lasts a few days and there's a new nap problem!!

I can't get any nap routine with my two, apart from if I bring them for a walk they will always nap in the buggy when they get home.

They will sometimes fall asleep in the mornings while they are playing on the playmat but won't do any structured nap.

They both sleep through the night every night though and have from about 14 weeks so to be honest I don't want to mess too much with it in case it stops them sleeping at night!

Possibly I will regret in the future not imposing more of a nap routine now, but there is only so much we can do.

Any mothers have babas that never did a routine napping thing?

bp

Trying to remember what we did (sleep consultant advised), from what I remember anything after 6am is wake up time so out of bed and downstairs for breakfast/ boob/ bottle etc. Back to bed within 90-120 minutes. Before the first yawn. I was dubious of this but actually worked. And putting baby into cot awake so they put themselves to sleep. All very gentle etc rub belly to help settle and reduce intervention as time goes by but no crying it out.

It was so hard to not bf the back to sleep in the morning at 6am but it really did work for us

Having a schedule really helped here but baby was a little older when we got the sleep consultant.

mirrorwall14

Our lad had to go down incredibly fast for his first morning nap or naps would be rubbish. I'm talking like 50-60 minutes max. The first indication at all of sleepiness. He continued to need a very early nap until nearly 18 months

Beanybabog

Well after three very short naps today (20 mins) she was very cranky and went down again after a feed.. and I had to wake her after 2.5 hours so it's not too close to bed. I give up, she's calling the shots here!

Lucyfur

Mine sleeps for between 15 and 30 mins 3 times a day, unless we are in sling/car/buggy where she will sleep a little longer. And she wakes every 90 mins or so at night! I'm just gonna roll with it. It's not for forever. Hopefully! She's just over 5 months.

shesty

Yes Mirrorwall, I found my first would never go the full two hours in the morning, that was the one she used to get tiredest for quickest.
Two hours was just my guideline anyway, if it went too much beyond that, I knew it was time to put them up to bed or chaos would ensue.
After a certain point....like 18 months or so....the naps become as much for you as for them.!!!! It's awful but my 2.5 yr old still sleeps in the day and I need that break as much as she does!!!

Beanybabog how old is your baba?If she's still less than 12 weeks then I wouldn't bother too much with trying to push a routine in the day...you'll end up tearing your hair out :-)

fits

It's impossible for me to implement any sort of routine with two only follow their lead. Napping is seemingly unpredictable before15 weeks anyway. They generally sleep well at night. Except for reflux pains at times with twin 2. But good night sleeping is the main thing for me.

mirrorwall14

shesty wrote: »

Yes Mirrorwall, I found my first would never go the full two hours in the morning, that was the one she used to get tiredest for quickest.
Two hours was just my guideline anyway, if it went too much beyond that, I knew it was time to put them up to bed or chaos would ensue.
After a certain point....like 18 months or so....the naps become as much for you as for them.!!!! It's awful but my 2.5 yr old still sleeps in the day and I need that break as much as she does!!!

Beanybabog how old is your baba?If she's still less than 12 weeks then I wouldn't bother too much with trying to push a routine in the day...you'll end up tearing your hair out :-)

It was such a pain in the neck because he slept through all the toddler classes, swim classes etc. We were never ready to go back out again until 1130 or so after he woke, fed, changed etc!

yellow hen

Lucyfur wrote: »

Mine sleeps for between 15 and 30 mins 3 times a day, unless we are in sling/car/buggy where she will sleep a little longer. And she wakes every 90 mins or so at night! I'm just gonna roll with it. It's not for forever. Hopefully! She's just over 5 months.

Oh lucyfur, congratulations. I know you from ttc but didnt realise you had a baby. That's such grear news

Beanybabog

Shesty she's 16 weeks so I think I can start to implement a routine? She just moans when she's in the crib, no matter how tired she is. Nightime is not a problem. I don't want to let her CIO although sometimes it's not crying, just general giving out and she smiles when I look in, so she's not distressed!! Knows well what she's doing!!

Lucyfur

yellow hen wrote: »

Oh lucyfur, congratulations. I know you from ttc but didnt realise you had a baby. That's such grear news

Thank you She's amazing

shesty

Oh yeah, you definitely can! For what it's worth (and feel free to disregard!), just do her naps every couple of hours.I don't cry it out but I did spend a lot of minutes (and probably hours!) Sitting by the cot, holding a hand or shhhing.It's all you can do.I wouldn't waste too much time trying to get her back to sleep after forty mins, that will resolve itself over time.Just aim to get her into fairly regular naps, but you do have to sit with them and sort of support them. We use a soother here, don't know if that would be your choice.She will cry and whine a bit, that's to be expected. Also I'd try and do one nap at least at home everyday and just try to have her in the buggy or pram or car or whatever for one of the others because you have to get out! :-)

Beanybabog

Well the good news is that I put her down this morning after 1.5 hours awake and she got herself to sleep happily enough, she woke at 45 minutes and drifted back off without giving out once!! Fingers crossed we are making progress

fits

I have to say. Getting two babies to nap is freaking difficult. I envy you mums of single babies at times. Currently have one feeding in my arms and rocking the other with my foot. Yesterday was a hell of a day. They were so cranky by five o clock!

shesty

I struggled with my pair under two years old to get it to work.Twins would finish me.
Or alternatively, having survived the first couple of months of the 21 month age gap, I'd be able for anything.
I would not be willing to find out though.

fits

They fell asleep feeding at twelve and I transferred to cribs. One sleep 45 minutes and joined me while I had lunch. The other slept 90 minutes then I fed both and they are back asleep on feeding cushion. I'm afraid to move them but I have a stew on which needs turning off

catrionanic

fits wrote: »

They fell asleep feeding at twelve and I transferred to cribs. One sleep 45 minutes and joined me while I had lunch. The other slept 90 minutes then I fed both and they are back asleep on feeding cushion. I'm afraid to move them but I have a stew on which needs turning off

Congrats on even getting the stew on. Commiserations on it burning!!

fits

catrionanic wrote: »

Congrats on even getting the stew on. Commiserations on it burning!!

I saved it . This is actually the first time I've managed to prepare dinner. Go me! The secret is to make it in the morning. Now I know why Irish mammies make dinner at lunchtime

catrionanic

fits wrote: »

I saved it . This is actually the first time I've managed to prepare dinner. Go me! The secret is to make it in the morning. Now I know why Irish mammies make dinner at lunchtime

Yep it takes me hours to make dinner as I've to make it in multiple short intervals whenever I get a chance! However today we discovered the amazingness of the baby gym... my cranky clingy post-vaccine baby, who cried any time I left his line of sight today, lay and played happily in the baby gym for a whole 40 mins while I rushed around the kitchen making a lasagne. Success!

Beanybabog

fits wrote: »

I saved it . This is actually the first time I've managed to prepare dinner. Go me! The secret is to make it in the morning. Now I know why Irish mammies make dinner at lunchtime

I remember those days, it's awful. Now I have more time I can cook dinner but she always wants a feed just as I'm about to sit down to eat!! If it makes you feel any y better my 16 week old usually goes to be at 7pm and sleeps for8.5 hours, which means I now can have a glass of wine and cook a steak dinner in peace. There's light at the end of tunnel!!!

shesty

Oh there is!One year on, we all eat dinner together (bit of a rush to prepare after work!) And they both head for the bed round 7pm.
Leaving myself and OH lots of time to ourselves to....clean up the kitchen after said dinner and restore the living room to an adult state.
But at least they're asleep (well...in bed anyway)!

Mink

Beanybabog, my lad was exact same as your baby, and at around the same age. The 45 min naps drove me bonkers, and the whole general-not-seeming to settle into a predictable routine.

He's 4.5 years now and 90% of the time, after about 9 months, he was predictable. He had a nap time, he had a bed time, life calmed down.

It's just a waiting game for you now, and keep at it with trying to encourage a routine, the main thing to know is that it will all definitely settle down soon so hang in there.

Beanybabog

Well today she woke and managed to resettled herself and now has been asleep for over 3.5 hours!! I'm half tempted to wake but that never did me any good before and sure if she's tired she's tired

catrionanic

My wee fella has become a sleepaphobe the last week or two. He's 10 weeks old tomorrow. It's so so difficult to get him to go down, even though he's really tired, and I spend so much time rocking/patting/shushing. He finally goes down and is awake within 10 minutes crying! Almost always impossible to get him back to sleep too. I've been on so many long walks without success. A dodey helps somewhat but only alongside other tactics. It's almost impossible to get anything done in the house as he's crying for attention all the time.

This all started 8 days ago when he had his vaccines. I'm hoping it will pass soon

deh983

Same here with 6 week old. Some days she is perfect others like today are a nightmare. She's slowly wearing be down

catrionanic

deh983 wrote: »

Same here with 6 week old. Some days she is perfect others like today are a nightmare. She's slowly wearing be down

Deh983 I've seen you post a few times and it sounds like things are really tough for you. What sort of support do you have? Have you gone to any local mother and baby groups? Being alone all day with a toddler and a baby who won't sleep could wear anyone down, but it sounds like you're not getting much enjoyment out of life at the minute... maybe speaking to someone in a similar situation could help?

deh983

catrionanic wrote: »

Deh983 I've seen you post a few times and it sounds like things are really tough for you. What sort of support do you have? Have you gone to any local mother and baby groups? Being alone all day with a toddler and a baby who won't sleep could wear anyone down, but it sounds like you're not getting much enjoyment out of life at the minute... maybe speaking to someone in a similar situation could help?

Oh god is it that obvious that I'm struggling!! I went to my go on Monday and was prescribed something for pnd. Was the hardest thing I've had to do but so glad I did.

Beanybabog

deh983 wrote: »

Oh god is it that obvious that I'm struggling!! I went to my go on Monday and was prescribed something for pnd. Was the hardest thing I've had to do but so glad I did.

Good woman, I know how hard that is and you're brave. I went once before for anxiety myself (not pregnancy related) and I know how hard it can be to ask or help but I also know these things can turn around very quick. Exhaustion is a killer at 6 weeks. Have you anyone to help you with the baby? Let you sleep, clean up for you etc?

deh983

Beanybabog wrote: »

Good woman, I know how hard that is and you're brave. I went once before for anxiety myself (not pregnancy related) and I know how hard it can be to ask or help but I also know these things can turn around very quick. Exhaustion is a killer at 6 weeks. Have you anyone to help you with the baby? Let you sleep, clean up for you etc?

I have help from my mam etc but she can't be here 24/7 either. My partner is very good but works long hours & is exhausted himself. Everyone keeps telling me after 6 weeks it gets better! Our first cried for 6 weeks so I should be well used to it.

Sorry for hijacking your thread. Hope things improve for everyone soon!

Beanybabog

deh983 wrote: »

I have help from my mam etc but she can't be here 24/7 either. My partner is very good but works long hours & is exhausted himself. Everyone keeps telling me after 6 weeks it gets better! Our first cried for 6 weeks so I should be well used to it.

Sorry for hijacking your thread. Hope things improve for everyone soon!

It is hard. I can't recall when I felt I turned a corner but maybe 8 weeks. At 4 months it's grand,, I'm getting a proper night sleep so while I give out about her napping it's no where near like the early days. I feel for you but it WILL get better

deh983

Beanybabog wrote: »

It is hard. I can't recall when I felt I turned a corner but maybe 8 weeks. At 4 months it's grand,, I'm getting a proper night sleep so while I give out about her napping it's no where near like the early days. I feel for you but it WILL get better

Thanks so much. The thing is I know it will get better but I just get myself a bit worked up and overthink things too much aswell. I also get terrible mammy guilt with the toddler not getting any attention.this too will pass

Beanybabog

deh983 wrote: »

Thanks so much. The thing is I know it will get better but I just get myself a bit worked up and overthink things too much aswell. I also get terrible mammy guilt with the toddler not getting any attention.this too will pass

Sadly my friends told me guilty is their default state these days!! We all get worked up though. I didn't have the baby blues but after a week or two I burst my stitches and it was a Friday night so I couldn't get to the doctor to get the antibiotic - if you saw me you'd have thought someone had died I cried so much!! I remember my husband hugging me and shushing me like a baby lol. It's no fun at the time but it's par for the course- we all get meltdowns and bad days. That's not belittle your PND,you needed help, but more to say that the women who don't get PND aren't exactly flying around thinking theyre mother of the year. Id challenge anyone to say they never had a meltdown or a cry or some really bad days. One of my friends who's so relaxed has only remembered since I had my baby that hers has colic and she reckons she blocked out the weeks of dispair at the start when she cried for hours on end - she recalls them saying they'd have no more kids it was just too awful... now they're trying for number two lol

shesty

:-( it's so hard.Two is as much of a shock to the system as the first, in a different way. I remember getting to about seven weeks on number two and feeling day after day that I just didn't have the energy for any of it....I just couldn't even put the effort into getting them out to the car and going somewhere.Taking the buggy in and out of the boot seemed like the most monumental task ever.Result was we spent several days a week at home, which made it worse because then I felt bad for sitting at home all day.It got much easier around ten weeks or so though.

You do get over the guilt.Well you kind of have to let it go.You are one person and you know what.....kids are very adaptable.And when they are small they quickly get to a point where they don't remember a time before the second child.And you kind have to realise that all you can do is your best for both of them and really, that you haven't the energy to feel bad about it the rest of the time.And that's ok. Before you know it they will be playing with each other and you'll realise they are actually ok with it all, even if you aren't.
Being a mammy is tough and it's definitely ok to ask for help.

deh983

Anybody having any luck with the short naps?? Ours are getting worse if anything else

Beanybabog

deh983 wrote: »

Anybody having any luck with the short naps?? Ours are getting worse if anything else

Funny enough, I am!! (The OP). I don't think it'll last as she always reverts to not napping but I've got a few good ones- she's sleeping a lot more in her pram so a walk helps. Today she went to baby swimming for the first time and was shattered!! Fell asleep in the car and the at home we put her in bath and fed her and she slept for 2.5 hours!! Then did another 45 mins later which was ok as it was 5pm so I didn't want her down too long: I think if she's busy she gets more tired and is more likely to stay down

shesty

I found my first went through a period of about a month where her naps shortened to 25 mins , no matter how tired she was....right before she started sleeping longer naps.Also developmental leaps play havoc with their sleep. (I can attest to this after a disaster of a day and night yesterday with my one year old, who is learning loads of new skills right now!!!)
Persevere, I promise you it will improve!
Also deh, when they get more active they do sleep longer.....your baba is still quite small, right?

deh983

shesty wrote: »

I found my first went through a period of about a month where her naps shortened to 25 mins , no matter how tired she was....right before she started sleeping longer naps.Also developmental leaps play havoc with their sleep. (I can attest to this after a disaster of a day and night yesterday with my one year old, who is learning loads of new skills right now!!!)
Persevere, I promise you it will improve!
Also deh, when they get more active they do sleep longer.....your baba is still quite small, right?

Yes she's only 7 weeks. I have to keep reminding myself that she'll fall asleep against my chest no problem but the minute I lie her down she's awake within a few minutes.
This too shall pass

shesty

deh983 wrote: »

Yes she's only 7 weeks. I have to keep reminding myself that she'll fall asleep against my chest no problem but the minute I lie her down she's awake within a few minutes.
This too shall pass

It shall.Both mine were the same.Second used to go into a beautiful deep sleep in the sling but when I put her into her bed,she'd howl within ten mins.As I said before, I rolled with it for about 11 weeks, and then started being a little firmer about being in her basket for naps.She made the change fairly easy, but still only ever napped for forty mins at a time til she got much bigger. Just hang on in there :-)....I know it's not ideal, but these days, my baba is 1, and I love when she snuggles up on me for a little snooze. (Usually pre-bedtime!!!).I appreciated her baby time more than the first I think, because I knew how quickly it passed :-)

catrionanic

Naps still unpredictable here! He's 10 weeks and going through leap 3 so I'm just winging it! We have both our families coming over Easter bank holidays for his christening so things will be a bit hectic (my husband's family live in Wales and haven't seen him for five weeks and will be wanting to cuddle and play with him all the time rather than letting him nap) - so I'm a bit worried about how cranky he will be from being overstimulated/not getting enough nap time.

catrionanic

I am now 90 mins and counting trying to get him down for a nap. Three times I've got him to sleep, put him in his cot, and he's awake within 5 mins and won't resettle. Currently on attempt 4 and ready to give up. He's so tired - yawning, eyerubbing etc - and hasn't slept for 5 hours. Why won't you sleep little one?!??

deh983

catrionanic wrote: »

I am now 90 mins and counting trying to get him down for a nap. Three times I've got him to sleep, put him in his cot, and he's awake within 5 mins and won't resettle. Currently on attempt 4 and ready to give up. He's so tired - yawning, eyerubbing etc - and hasn't slept for 5 hours. Why won't you sleep little one?!??

Did u have any joy in the end??