Pre marraige course

paddyirish23

Hi All,
I'm getting married the end of the year and I'm wondering what the story is with this course? Ppl are telling me it's 2 and 3 days long and costs 150 euros. It's a church wedding but I'm doing shift work and have a son who's been recently diagnosed with ASD so I've enough on my plate without worrying abt how to do this course that is booked out for months already. Is this compulsory even if we living together 8 yrs and together 11?! Sounds like a bloody money racket to me

stargazer 68

All depends on your priest..he may say no it's ok or he wants a particular course done. You will have to ask.

paddyirish23

Dovies wrote: »

All depends on your priest..he may say no it's ok or he wants a particular course done. You will have to ask.

So it's not a definitive thing so, at least that's something! Thanks!

leanonme

Not sure about all of them but we are doing our course this month and its from 8-10 on Friday, and 10 till 6 on the Saturday. Our priest said they would always want a course, but depends on the couple. We are together 10 years, and he wanted the accord one. But said if someone had been a widdow or older they would look at different ones.

eoinzy2000

We done it in an 6-8 hr day. Its a load of gash. But if you have to do the church ****, then prob have to do it. Appeal to priest on financial grounds and time and hope for the best. I found it a good day off in the end, away from the kids and the breaks were spend lying on the grass on a fortunately sunny day.

mugsymugsy

I think the time you spend reflecting and taking a break from other stresses in your life at the course could prove worthwhile.

If you think the course is a waste of time don't bother getting married in the church and have it in the hotel as a civil ceremony or a registry office

zoobizoo

I'm not religious but my wife is so we did it.

I thikn you have to do it - cost us €200 in South Dublin.

I actually thought it was good. It wasn't run by a priest but by relationship counselors.

Zaph

We did it as a one day course (I think it was the Accord one) as the priest who was marrying us required one to be done. However be careful, as some priests will accept only certain courses, so if you did the wrong one you might end up having to do another. As to whether it was worthwhile - it was the single greatest waste of time I have ever endured in all my years. That I was dying of a cold that day didn't help my mood, but even if I was 100% I'd still come to the conclusion that it was a load of nonsense. Maybe if there was a very young couple getting married they might learn something from it, but other than that it's just wasting everyone's time, including the incredibly boring people who ran our course.

lazygal

Their club, their rules. Part of having a church wedding means doing this kind of thing.

solerina

paddyirish23 wrote: »

Hi All,
I'm getting married the end of the year and I'm wondering what the story is with this course? Ppl are telling me it's 2 and 3 days long and costs 150 euros. It's a church wedding but I'm doing shift work and have a son who's been recently diagnosed with ASD so I've enough on my plate without worrying abt how to do this course that is booked out for months already. Is this compulsory even if we living together 8 yrs and together 11?! Sounds like a bloody money racket to me

It's not that long, we did the recognised church course and it was run over a Friday evening 7-9 and Saturday 10-4, it was grand, actually enjoyed some bits - chatting to the other couples !!

Zaph

lazygal wrote: »

Their club, their rules. Part of having a church wedding means doing this kind of thing.

Totally agree. That doesn't mean it's actually worth doing though, or that it isn't a complete waste of time.

zoobizoo

Zaph wrote: »

Totally agree. That doesn't mean it's actually worth doing though, or that it isn't a complete waste of time.

Others learned something from the day. I know that I did.

I'm not religious in anyway and I found that there were two things that I picked up that have helped me in my relationship.

I would have an issue with the cost though (20 couples x €200)

Zaph

Zaph wrote: »

Totally agree. That doesn't mean it's actually worth doing though, or that it isn't a complete waste of time.

Most people who do it say they actually enjoyed it and learned a few things though (even on this thread and the other recent thread on the topic).

Zaph

Maybe we were just unlucky. I'd say an awful lot of it is down to the people who actually run the course, and the ones we had were truly awful. They'd have put a hyperactive three year old to sleep in minutes they were so dull and boring.

zoobizoo

Ha - I was just about to say:

I guess it can come down to the people running the course.

The two women who ran the one I was on were very good.

Athena_A

I did mine two weeks ago in Ennis.  Friday 7.30 to 9 pm and Saturday 10 am to 4 pm.  It wasn't so bad, there was a priest but he was only in his thirties and he was actually the most fun of the three people there hosting it.  It wasn't preachy as I feared, but that probably really depends on who you get, as I've heard some bad stories.  The sexuality bit was more about fertility and there was no 'only natural family planning for you', so it was grand.  I agree that it's an insane price though for a day and a half course.

zoobizoo

Now that I remember, I think that the money goes towards counseling services with Accord.

mcgiggles

We did it as it was required.. the Friday evening was a bit of craic but the Saturday was boring as hell. We've been together 12 years the only thing we learned from it was that we're doing alright as a couple lol