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Sexual abuse allegation - What to Do?

  • 09-03-2017 9:54pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm not going into all the details but am dealing with an allegation of historical sexual abuse and don't know what to do.
    The allegation is false.
    What we intend to do is talk to a solicitor on monday morning and go to the guards.
    Are there any other agencies a person can contact if they have been falsely accused like this for some advice/emotional support as it is extremely upsetting.



    ***Mod Note***
    I'd like to remind posters that as this is an ongoing case, posts referring to the case itself will be deleted. The OP has asked for links to agencies that can provide emotional support - please limit your responses to that query only.


Comments

  • #2
    njs030
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,030 ✭✭✭njs030


    See a solicitor for legal advice don't contact the guards unless told to by your solicitor.
    Why wait until Monday? Go tomorrow.

    I can't think of any specific groups for people accused of crimes but I'm sure the Samaritan's would listen.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    notjustsweet wrote: »
    See a solicitor for legal advice don't contact the guards unless told to by your solicitor.
    Why wait until Monday? Go tomorrow.

    I can't think of any specific groups for people accused of crimes but I'm sure the Samaritan's would listen.

    Thanks for your reply. Contacted the solicitor today and they're not available til then.


  • #4
    leggo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Yeah it'd be a civil case you'd have against false allegations so going to the Gardai would be unnecessary. Just cooperate fully if they do knock on your door. I understand you want to get out ahead of this to ease your own concerns and not have to wait for a knock, but it'd do no good.

    You haven't given much info, and for understandable reasons, but whatever the case if it helps ease your anxiety about this: with any allegations the onus is on the plaintiff and prosecutors to prove the validity of them. So, since these are false, there's nothing to worry about and any due process will only stand to clear your name.

    I knew a person who threw around crazy, delusional allegations whenever they were didn't get their way and, in the end, I was almost praying they'd go to the Gardai just so somebody could tell them they were crazy and to stop lying.


  • #5
    Gangu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 416 ✭✭Gangu


    Ask the solicitor about counter suit for defamation. It's a terrible situation, I'd come out fighting and trying to control the narrative.


  • #6
    njs030
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,030 ✭✭✭njs030


    inshock wrote: »
    Thanks for your reply. Contacted the solicitor today and they're not available til then.

    Oh I understand. Then maybe just don't talk about it if you can? People can say horrible things but as someone said below it is up to them to prove it.

    Do call the Samaritan's to talk it through, they are very good at listening which your family and friends would find hard to do without getting angry on your behalf.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi OP - I've had to go through the process of being falsely accused of something too, although not sexual abuse. It was the most stressful and upsetting thing I've ever had to go through, I thought I was going to loose everything; my job, my career, my home etc.

    Thankfully the police (it wasn't in Ireland) were able to see what was really going on and didn't treat me harshly. They were actually really nice to me. I had to go for an interview with them but it was more about getting the facts out of me rather than trying to find something to prosecute me on. However other people involved weren't so nice, I was actually incredibly naive to assume people would look out for me. Instead people shifted blame onto me to cover themselves and there was lots of mud slinging. Be prepared for a lot of nasty things to be said to you, especially as your case involved sexual abuse. I didn't rise to any of the nasty stuff said to me/about me and that helped massively - I kept my cool and didn't let me emotions get the better of me. Anytime I was faced with something nasty I took a moment to breathe and formulate my response, instead of launching out with an attack. How you react to what is being said will affect peoples perceptions of you.

    Have a support network around you, that's one thing I failed to do, I didn't tell my family until after I was interviewed with the police and regretted not telling them sooner as it would have eased the stress I faced.

    I wish you the best of luck.


  • #8
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    samesituation wrote: »
    Have a support network around you, that's one thing I failed to do, I didn't tell my family until after I was interviewed with the police and regretted not telling them sooner as it would have eased the stress I faced.

    I wish you the best of luck.

    I think it depends on his family. I know my mother would be more likely to say "well you must have done something" so I would not tell her.


  • #9
    please helpThank YOU
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,390 ✭✭✭please helpThank YOU


    inshock wrote: »
    I'm not going into all the details but am dealing with an allegation of historical sexual abuse and don't know what to do.
    The allegation is false.
    What we intend to do is talk to a solicitor on monday morning and go to the guards.
    Are there any other agencies a person can contact if they have been falsely accused like this for some advice/emotional support as it is extremely upsetting.



    ***Mod Note***
    I'd like to remind posters that as this is an ongoing case, posts referring to the case itself will be deleted. The OP has asked for links to agencies that can provide emotional support - please limit your responses to that query only.
    you need to go to your doctor and get him/her to referral you to counselling services this will 100 per cent help you . what will also help you is apply for all documents bank statements etc with time and dates will be very important to clear your good name also at this time you will find out who your true friends are when you are false accused of child abuse in Ireland . you will be shocked who you though your friends where will now turn there backs on you I was false accused of child abuse my self and it was hell on earth I did clear my name 100 per cent but it took a lot of time I was False accused of child abuse in the context of family law Ireland proceedings and a child custody dispute child maintenance dispute I was criminalized for family law court but now my case is over and now and closed my name is 100 per cent cleared . but I was not happy how the gardai/tusla hse social workers treat me very badly it was like a witch hunt.


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