3 in the bed and the little one said...Shut up

hashtagbanter

Housemate (1 of 3 of us) let her brother stay in our gaff while she is away - would have liked if she had have asked rather than a text saying "he is" and already having given him keys before she left the week before, but regardless we would have said yeah no problem course he can.

Just after 4 - I wake up thinking the rental property next to ours is being so loud - then realise it's in my house - bedroom next to mine. I knocked on the door and the brother comes to the door, realising at this point that there are two people in the room - he said "Want us to keep the f down?" I said "Yeah", not in an overly polite way but thats more because of how I was woken.

Go back to bed - 10 minutes later, laughing and talking loud as can be - our headboards are back to back with a paper thing (apartment) wall in the middle - I get up - barge into the room without knocking, there are 3 people lying in the bed. I said you know you are staying in someones elses house, the time of the morning it is & it is extremely rude, to be met with "Ah go back to bed, you're wrecking my head" IN MY OWN HOUSE!!

I was tempted to tell them to all get out but I wanted to calm down before completely flying off the handle and wrote an impassioned message to the housemate.

I'm not angry at her at all, I don't think she has done anything wrong - I think the brother was incredibly cheeky but I am now petrified they will have gone into my room while I'm at work. I ended up leaving at 6.30 am (usually 8) because I couldn't get back to sleep.

What would you do - just leave it there? Housemate has apologised but I would sort of like to have it out with the brother. He messaged her saying he was going to apologise to me but I had left for work - not buying that, he met me in the hallway (him in his jocks and me fully drressed, in normal day clothes) as I caught him about to walk in to the other housemate's bedroom - i said "eh not right" he goes, "so?". Not quite an apology

pilly

I he going to get out of the house today? If he is then I'd leave it at that, your house mate has apologised, he's obviously just a dickhead.

If he's not getting out of the house today I'd be insisting with your housemate that he has to.

groovyg

I take it none of the bedrooms have keys to allow you to lock your bedroom. Would you not ring the landlord? Writing messages is not really a way to deal with problems, you need to have it out them verbally. I can't see being angry with the housemate is going to do any good as they can't control their brothers behaviour. You probably should have kicked the brother out. His behaviour is bang out of order.

pilly

Ringing the LL is a bit extreme tbh. If someone rang me with that story I'd be asking what the hell they wanted me to do about it.

hashtagbanter

No I wouldn't get angry with the housemate at all - not her fault in any way shape or form. She can't control what he does as you said.

No locks no, it's very much a home rather than a house share so we dont have any problems or trust issues that way with each other.

I guess I will just leave it at venting online & not allowing him to stay again.

I feel bad for my housemate actually because she probably thinks it's her fault, but she wasn't to know he would bring others over - he agreed it was just him.

I know we all get drunk and I know we all have fun but I think if the person whose house you are staying in isn't there - you need to be extra polite when you dont know the others

I don't know when he is leaving as he was also supposed to be on his own

Yourself isit

There's a huge amount of piss taking in Ireland house shares. When renting, i shared in England and Ireland. England waa much better.

Fact is if you are given a room in other people's house on a working day you should be as quiet as a mouse. If you are a permanent lodger you should be quiet too of course but at least you are paying rent.

What kind of plonker would invite two other people to a house he is temporarily staying in? And keep other house mates awake?

The other tenant is finally responsible here. She, by allowing her brother in, caused the problem.

Yourself isit

pilly wrote: »

Ringing the LL is a bit extreme tbh. If someone rang me with that story I'd be asking what the hell they wanted me to do about it.

Kick the tenant who allowed the brother in out?

LegacyUser

Are yis for real? The housemate is totally in the wrong! She shouldn't be giving her key to anyone else without notice, you'd be quite entitled to say no if asked and she should be apologising profusely, as should the brother and he should be getting the f*** out of the house right away. The housemate is totally responsible for her brother's behaviour, as any housemate is responsible for the behaviour of any guest they allow to access the house. You didn't sign up to share with him, no matter how short term.

pilly

hashtagbanter wrote: »

No I wouldn't get angry with the housemate at all - not her fault in any way shape or form. She can't control what he does as you said.

No locks no, it's very much a home rather than a house share so we dont have any problems or trust issues that way with each other.

I guess I will just leave it at venting online & not allowing him to stay again.

I feel bad for my housemate actually because she probably thinks it's her fault, but she wasn't to know he would bring others over - he agreed it was just him.

I know we all get drunk and I know we all have fun but I think if the person whose house you are staying in isn't there - you need to be extra polite when you dont know the others

I don't know when he is leaving as he was also supposed to be on his own

It's a good approach to take but at the same time don't let him walk all over you. Just calmly tell your housemate that you want him out of there before you get home.

hashtagbanter

What kind of plonker would invite two other people to a house he is temporarily staying in? And keep other house mates awake?

Sums it up!

pilly

Yourself isit wrote: »

Kick the tenant who allowed the brother in out?

Way OTT

hashtagbanter

Yourself isit wrote: »

Kick the tenant who allowed the brother in out?

Nah because literally have no problems with her as a housemate - its the brother I have issue with & his mate, although his name was said during the argy bargy so I know how to track him down if need be

Katgurl

Have I got this right?

He's staying in his sister's room and didn't know her flatmates? He invited people over for a threesome and made loads of noise then gave out to you for wrecking his head? He then told his sister he would apologise but instead said 'so?' when you caught him about to enter your other flatmate's bedroom? He is still there?


I would phone housemate and tell her that her brother needs to be gone before you're home from work. No grey area here. What does she think she is doing subletting her room without even getting permission. If she won't handle it, get him out by whatever means. I wouldn't even let him around to visit again. He's an aggressive rude little ***** but more importantly I wouldn't want to leave my stuff around with him - you caught him entering the wrong room ffs.

Call text or email her now and tell her he needs to be gone asap.

I would be FURIOUS.

Yourself isit

pilly wrote: »

Way OTT

Why? She caused the noise in her room. Her not being there is irrelevant.

If her brother had damaged the furniture you'd be suing her.

hashtagbanter

Yourself isit wrote: »

Kick the tenant who allowed the brother in out?

Yourself isit wrote: »

Why? She caused the noise in her room. Her not being there is irrelevant.

If her brother had damaged the furniture you'd be suing her.

I can't guarantee that hasn't happened in my absence

BetsyEllen

I'd be telling your housemate you want the brother gone today and he's not welcome in the house again.

And in future make a house rule for everyone that if anyone is having guests, notice needs to be given to the rest of the house in advance and it must be agreed.

Also guests shouldn't be given a key, that's really taking the p1ss...

A few people, OP included, are saying the housemate done nothing wrong. Erm, yes she did...this situation is her fault.

hashtagbanter

Katgurl wrote: »

Have I got this right?

He's staying in his sister's room and didn't know her flatmates? He invited people over for a threesome and made loads of noise then gave out to you for wrecking his head? He then told his sister he would apologise but instead said 'so?' when you caught him about to enter your other flatmate's bedroom? He is still there?

He is staying in room but his friend is the one who made the cheeky comments - I was like I want to throw you out but I mean I was like I could start something here at 4 in the morning that I haven't entirely fully thought through so I thought it best to calm down first. I couldn't sleep though so left to go to work.

In a rather petty manner I took everything our of the bathroom so they didn't even have loo roll. Housemate also used the last of the hot water so hopefully they froze if they dared take a shower there.

"I'd be telling your housemate you want the brother gone today and he's not welcome in the house again."

I did indeed tell her this and she agreed - honestly the girl is a very quiet, reserved sort of person so I don't think it fair to blame her when her brother did appear to tell her that there would only be him. I've known her for maybe a year before moved in (I know her boyfriend, but had never ever met her brother). I also met her Dad when she moved in and he was lovely so I cant say there were any warning signs that the son is an inconsiderate arsehole so that's why I am trying to separate her from him. I didn't mind that it was her brother, it's her brother's actions that infuriated me.

Big Bag of Chips

The brother obviously had his plans in place for when she was going to be away. She hardly offered her room out of the blue. He clearly asked could he stay while she was away. You can 100% guarantee they went into your rooms when you were in work. He was going to go into housemates room when you were still there. Taking the toilet roll mightn't have been the best idea, because they will just find something else (of yours) to use if they need to.

When you get back, if he is gone you need to check your rooms for anything that might be missing or damaged and contact your housemate immediately. Take photos of any damage.

If he's still there, obviously get him to leave. If he refuses again contact the housemate and get her to get her parents to come and collect him!

Sorry lesson for her to learn.

Edit: and make sure you get the key back.

Rubberchikken

i would be having words with your housemate.
personally i don't think she did any of this properly. she didn't discuss it with you beforehand, she didn't tell her brother to act like a decent person in someone else's home.
he sounds like a person who takes advantage and i wouldn't rate her as much better.
having said that, i think you dealt with the issue when the noise first woke you a lot better than i would have. i hate my sleep being disturbed and i'd have shown him the door along with whoever else he had the neck to invite in.

hashtagbanter

Just did a quick check on the gaff there before I leave for the weekend to go away and nothing has been (obviously) defaced or used. If it has in sure I'll see it when it's rotting/giving birth

Edit: there is a vase of flowers on my beside table which had been knocked over, now I fully accept that I could have knocked it but i forgot something before I left and went back to the room and they certainly didn't catch my eye then, bare in mind I left an hour and half early for work so I wasn't in any panic - the water was all spilt so I would say someone was having a sneak around

Fakediamond

But is he gone??

Odelay

If you left your toothbrush lying around, it might be an idea to buy an new one.....

Script

Yes, all gone! Thank god. Also no didn't have my toothbrush lying around as had it packed away for my trip (thankfully)

I would love to know what if any fall out there will be tonight when sister arrives home and asks him what happened

Taltos

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